Tag Archives: Action

Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

27 Friday Jun 2014

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The Robinson family is wrecked
On some rocks, and the ship’s crew defect.
Their ill-fated cruise
Leaves them much they can use,
Though they’re not sure what to do next.
 
The father and sons Ernst and Fritz
Get all to the shore in one blitz.
On the ship the next day,
They scare pirates away
With only a flag and their wits.
 
Since New Guinea’s off their radar,
The five just made do where they are.
A house like no other
Intimidates Mother,
And she wants a good safety bar.
 
But once the men finish, the tree
Proves a comforting place to sightsee.
The men’s great inventions
Calm her apprehensions,
And they settle down cheerfully.
 
Young Francis collects his own zoo
With ostrich and elephant too,
To join all the pets
That they rescued from threats
On the ship left behind by the crew.
 
To see if they’re all on an isle,
The older sons sail for a while.
They rescue a lad
But can’t save his granddad
From pirates both fearsome and vile.
 
They learn it’s a girl they retrieved,
Dressed up so she won’t be perceived.
Through forest and swamp,
With Roberta they romp,
Till they reach the treehouse, relieved.
 
The pirates will no doubt return,
So they build defenses in turn.
Both Ernst and Fritz vie
For Roberta’s fair eye,
But both of them have much to learn.
 
They all take a break for a race,
But soon pirates swarm the whole place.
They thwart their offenses
With homemade defenses
From high on a mountainous base.
 
With fruit bombs and many a pit
And one with a tiger in it
And logs and big rocks,
The small family blocks
The pirates, who won’t seem to quit.
 
They try climbing up from the back,
Which makes their defense nearly crack.
When a ship then arrives,
It saves all of their lives
By halting the pirate attack.
 
Roberta’s granddad gives advice,
But most of the family think twice.
Roberta and Fritz
Stay together; Ernst splits,
But the rest stay in their paradise.
__________________
 

Swiss Family Robinson was the best non-musical live-action Disney film made during his lifetime (and for some time after). It works well as both a loose adaptation of Johann Wyss’s classic novel and as a stand-alone adventure tale. There are a number of changes from the books, such as the inclusion of a pirate attack, a bigger role for the girl (named Emily in the novel), and the omission of a fourth son named Jack. Even so, the film expands on the amazing ingenuity of the Swiss family, furnishing their treehouse with all kinds of clever inventions. It also includes pirates, a menagerie of exotic animals, and countless other adventure elements to enthrall kids and their parents alike.

For me, the film’s biggest liability is young Kevin Corcoran as Francis, who is annoying in just about every scene he’s in. He’s a brat, who’s so enamored of animals that he ignores his parents’ warnings and common-sense safety, such as when he stupidly gives away their position to bloodthirsty pirates for the sake of two dogs! The other boys are fine, and Tommy Kirk as Ernst reminds me of Wil Wheaton’s Wesley Crusher (in a good way). John Mills projects authority and warmth as the Father, while Dorothy McGuire lends maternal warmth and worry to Mother Robinson.

The final battle with the pirates is one of the great early action sequences, but other moments shine too, such as the silent prayer Mother insists on when they first reach the island. (You wouldn’t see that in a remake nowadays.) Swiss Family Robinson is a marvelous family film that may not be on par with adaptations like Dr. Zhivago or Gone with the Wind, but it’s no less of a classic.

Best line: (Father, upon reaching the beach) “First thing we’ve got to do is to, uh, unload the raft. Then, uh… put up some sort of shelter for the night.”   (Mother) “No. That’s not the first thing.” [She kneels in grateful prayer, and the others follow suit.]

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #195 – Gravity

© 2014 S. G. Liput

142 Followers and Counting

 

The Great Escape (1963)

26 Thursday Jun 2014

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In 1943, the Germans thought they’d gotten wise
When they designed a camp to hold the most troublesome guys,
The prisoners who always tried escaping from their jail
And caused a lot of headaches for the Nazis on their trail.
 
But in their aspirations for a perfect prison dream,
In fact they put together the best liberation team.
The leader “X” was Roger, who was wanted far and wide,
And Danny was the “Tunnel King,” who dug three shafts outside.
 
The “Scrounger” was named Hendley, who finagled all supplies
And helped the “Forger” Colin Blythe, who lost sight in his eyes.
Then Sedgwick built all tools and had a big suitcase to carry,
And Hilts was called the “Cooler King,” who earned much solitary.
 
These men and more worked day and night to build three tunnels out
Named Tom and Dick and Harry, for there was no better route.
They masked their noise and hid the dirt in several clever ways
And tried to hide their plan below the Germans’ watchful gaze.
 
The Nazis still discovered Tom, which caused a suicide,
But all then worked on Harry to soon reach the woods outside.
The night arrived, and their whole plan discreetly took effect
As men began escaping through their passageway unchecked.
 
The hole came short of reaching woods but still they sneaked away,
Until the Germans heard a sound, to everyone’s dismay.
They stopped the flow but seventy-six escaped the camp in all,
Which launched a massive search for every man in this cabal.
 
Although they tried to blend right in, with forged passports and clothes,
Some chances and some poor mistakes and gaffes served to expose,
For all but three were seized again and fifty men were shot,
And Hilts marched calmly to his cooler when he too was caught.
Thus ended this escape attempt and their most brilliant plot.
_______________________
 

As I said in my Memphis Belle review, most war movies have different focuses than just a battlefield. In The Great Escape, POWs get the spotlight, and there’s not a single battle scene. Instead, we get a true story with an incredibly clever and detailed plot to escape from a German war camp. It’s one of those classic manly men ensembles of the 1960s, but here everyone is entirely likable, unlike, say, The Dirty Dozen.While the mostly British officers could just as easily have sat out the war, they instead fulfilled their “duty” to escape, and, though the film drags on rather long, it’s an incredible thing to see their plan put into effect, provided you have enough popcorn to keep you awake.

The actors are all skilled thespians, but sadly not all of them stick out, perhaps because they no longer have the star power they held in 1963. I recognized monikers like Ashley-Pitt, MacDonald, Sedgwick, and Cavendish, but I couldn’t tell who they were unless someone directly called them by name. Still, a number of the men make an impression, if only with their code names: Richard Attenborough as “Big X,” Donald Pleasence as the blind “Forger,” James Garner as the “Scrounger,” Charles Bronson as Danny, and of course Steve McQueen as Hilts, one of his most memorable roles. Interestingly, Bronson’s character of Danny is one of the few to reach freedom, just as he was one of the three who survived in The Dirty Dozen. I guess some guys are just lucky.

A number of elements of the film have been parodied to no end. The scenes involving the men wheeling down the narrow tunnel have found their way into several shows and movies like the similarly plotted Chicken Run, and the iconic score has also been imitated by shows ranging from Disney’s Recess to Hogan’s Heroes, which had a similar storyline involving POWs. And of course who can forget McQueen riding that motorcycle?

The actual escape is the tense highlight of the film, and it keeps the audience on their toes. Though it’s satisfying to see so many sneak away, the sad part is that most of them die. Considering the light-hearted tune in the score, it’s a rather dark ending, but one that is true to history. Overall, The Great Escape is an entertaining and clean war film that pays tribute to men who weren’t content to just sit around, men who harassed the enemy to the last and did their countries proud. To the fifty!

Best line: (Ramsey, having been told of the great resources used to guard the camp) “Well, it’s rather nice to know that you’re wanted.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #196 – Swiss Family Robinson

© 2014 S. G. Liput

140 Followers and Counting

 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

21 Saturday Jun 2014

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Nausicaä, the princess of the Valley of the Wind,
Explores the toxic jungle that is spreading o’er the earth.
The girl admires Ohmu, colossal insects, armor-skinned,
Who can be quite aggressive but do have a hidden worth.
 
She saves her friend Lord Yupa from an anger-blinded Ohmu,
And flies upon her glider to announce his soon return.
In their protected valley, her small people built a home,
Content to let fierce kingdoms fight; it’s none of their concern.
 
But soon a crippled airship from Tolmekia appears
And crashes in the valley, killing everyone on board.
The threat of jungle infestation sparks the people’s fears,
And plus, the living cargo is too dire to be ignored.
 
Kushana of Tolmekia soon comes to claim their prize,
A deadly giant warrior, which bathed the earth in flame.
They kill the valley’s king but still they claim to be good guys,
For burning down the forest is their ill-considered aim.
 
The warrior’s developing as Nausicaä is bound
With others by Kushana on a journey through the air.
Their airships are shot down by one small plane that’s also downed.
The princess and Kushana land within a jungle snare.
 
Escaping from an Ohmu nest thanks to Nausicaä’s calm action,
Kushana and the other fly while Nausicaä must stand
To save the shooter pilot who is from another faction
Called Pejite, but the two of them are captured by quicksand.
 
They find themselves below the jungle, where the air is clean,
And realize that the jungle plants absorb the earth’s pollution.
Mankind corrupted all the earth, and now most people mean
To burn the jungle, ruining the planet’s last solution.
 
They fly their way to Pejite, which is ravaged by insects.
Survivors plan to lure the Ohmu to Nausicaä’s homeland
To take out the Tolmekians and all of their subjects
And catch the giant warrior to have at their command.
 
Their ship is ambushed yet again, which lets the princess flee.
She goes ahead to see the Ohmu stampeding toward the valley.
The Pejites have an injured baby o’er an acid sea,
And she succeeds in freeing it before the big finale.
 
Kushana wakes the giant which annihilates some Ohmu,
Before it melts away, too undeveloped to survive.
The baby Ohmu and Nausicaä then stand before her home
In front of the invading insects, rushing to arrive.
 
They run her over but then stop to see this brave young lass;
They heal her wounds and so fulfill an ancient prophecy.
Kushana and her men return back home at this impasse,
And now the earth and all mankind may live in harmony.
______________________
 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind was Hayao Miyazaki’s breakout film as a director. It’s an environmentally heavy sci-fi action film that highlights Miyazaki’s pacifist ideology and his wildly imaginative storytelling. While Disney was working on the likes of The Black Cauldron, Japan was producing animated gems like this.

Technically made before the start of his Studio Ghibli, Nausicaä was a tale that didn’t have much support at first because most anime depends on pre-existing properties in the world of manga (Japanese comic books). Since he couldn’t get funding without an already popular manga, he made one and published Nausicaä in serial form from 1982 to 1994. This earned him the necessary backing, but since only 16 chapters (out of 59) had been completed by the time of the film, the plot encompasses only the part that he had finished. While it was a huge blockbuster upon its release because of the manga, the movie ends a bit abruptly, and it feels like there is more of the story to tell, even though the film is ambitious enough as it is.

The hand-drawn animation is detailed and impressive throughout the two-hour film, especially in the climax, and it has that Miyazaki touch that raises it above most other anime. The voice acting in Disney’s English dub is uniformly good, featuring Alison Lohman, Shia LaBeouf, Uma Thurman, Chris Sarandon, Edward James Olmos, Mark Hamill, and the inimitable Patrick Stewart as Lord Yupa. Joe Hisaishi’s outstanding score also grabbed my attention when I first saw it and, not counting the synthesizer segments, is one of my favorite film scores. As for the plot, it’s incredibly detailed, and my above poem only scratched the surface of the layered events, characters, and motivations. With its complex mythology, messianic prophecy, and giant misunderstood insectoid creatures, the closest thing I could compare it to is Frank Herbert’s Dune series.

The environmentalist theme is rather clunky, blaming mankind for polluting the earth’s topsoil and water and building the giant warriors to destroy everything while providing no details about the circumstances. Thankfully, though, the film doesn’t browbeat humanity too much, and when the focus is on the science fiction and the characters, it’s some of Miyazaki’s best work. My VC, who doesn’t care for anime, at least saw and appreciated it for what it was, but, for me, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind remains an influential sci-fi classic.

Best line: (Asbel, after eating some “healthy” nuts) “Why does everything that’s good for you have to taste so bad?”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
Other (heavy environmentalism): -3
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #201 – Murphy’s Romance

© 2014 S. G. Liput

135 Followers and Counting

 

Superman (1978)

18 Wednesday Jun 2014

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The distant planet Krypton, after stopping an attack
By Ursa, Non, and Zod, confines all three (but they’ll be back).
But scientist Jor-El still feels that Krypton’s on the brink
Of imminent destruction, which nobody else will think.
 
As Krypton starts to crumble, he sends out his infant son,
And once the world explodes, the young Kal-El’s the only one.
He flies throughout the stars before crash landing on our sphere
And is adopted by the Kents, who know he’s not from here.
 
“Clark” grows and calls the earth his home, the Kents his mom and dad,
But tries to hide the speed and strength that he has always had.
When Jonathan, his wise old father, passes from this earth,
Clark finds the hidden secret of his otherworldly birth.
 
He leaves with one green crystal for the Arctic, strangely led,
And throws it to create a giant fortress there instead.
Recordings of Jor-El reveal the secrets he will master,
The reason for his powers which he’ll use to stop disaster.
 
Years later, at the Daily Planet Clark Kent is employed,
Now acting timid; any danger he’s quick to avoid.
Though he’s a hero, strong reporter Lois Lane can’t tell
And thinks him geeky when he faints and says the old word “swell.”
 
A helicopter accident puts Lois Lane in danger
Until she then is rescued by a blue-and-red-clad stranger.
He flies around Metropolis, performing decent deeds,
Preventing crimes and helping citizens with all their needs.
 
Intent on learning more of him, Lane gets an interview
With enigmatic Superman, and one free night flight too.
Her articles and news reports attract the veiled attention
Of evil mastermind Lex Luthor, who drips condescension.
 
He formulates a wicked scheme to redirect two bombs
And sink the California coast without the slightest qualms.
He steals a foreign meteor that glows with greenish light,
Attracting Superman to cripple him with Kryptonite.
 
Though Superman is rescued and stops one bomb, he’s too late;
The other causes earthquakes, sealing California’s fate.
Our hero still saves buses, towns, and fault lines too, although
He cannot save poor Lois Lane from landslides even so.
 
Heartsick with grief, he breaks a rule, reversing our Earth’s time,
To bring back Lois and prevent the worst of Luthor’s crime.
He drops off Luthor at a jail, and flies ‘twixt Earth and space,
The ever-faithful guardian of all the human race.
_____________________
 

The first modern superhero movie, Superman was a really big deal when it was released in 1978, pulling out big name stars like Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman and charging big bucks for product placement. (I hope it was worth it, Cheerios.) Watching it thirty-six years later, the special effects are still effective, quite deserving of the Special Achievement Award they received, and John Williams’ magnificent score remains as iconic as it was then. Anyone who can compose for Jane Eyre and Superman and make them both synonymous with the film is a master composer.

As I said in my Superman II post, Christopher Reeve is Superman, and I have yet to see anyone who can wear the red cape as well as he could. Gene Hackman introduces Lex Luthor with the perfect blend of villainy and charisma. (Villains are always more menacing when you see their hands first, right?) Margot Kidder also does well as Lois Lane, and I like the little quirks the filmmakers added to her character, like her constantly misspelling of words. Embracing the role of Daily Planet chief Perry White, Jackie Cooper acts as an entertaining forerunner to J. Jonah Jameson of the Spider-Man films.

The film does have some faults other than the San Andreas one. Some scenes go on much too long, such as the rather boring opening credits, the construction of his Fortress of Solitude, and his flight with Lois Lane. Since they still had Williams’ memorable score, it’s not as bad as Star Trek: The Motion Picture in that regard, but these scenes make the film longer than it needed to be. Also, Lex Luthor makes some astounding leaps of reasoning to deduce that a particular meteorite in Africa came from Superman’s home planet, and “it stands to reason” that it must be deadly for the man of steel. It’s a good hypothesis, but there’s nothing to back it up. Likewise, the final scene where Superman reverses Earth’s rotation to reverse time is perhaps the least scientific portrayal of time travel ever put on film. Again, I don’t see how he knew his actions would have the desired effect when they could just as easily have caused more earthquakes or something worse.

It’s not a perfect superhero film, but as one of the first comic book blockbusters, it’s an incredibly influential one for the genre, aiming for gravitas while also retaining some campy charm. The recent Man of Steel had plenty of the gravitas and much more eye-popping effects, but it lacked the charm. Superman Returns was unsuccessful at both for me.Though Marvel has taken over superhero films for the most part, DC had a strong start with Superman, and it still makes audiences “believe a man can fly.”

Best line: (Superman, during his interview with Lois) “I’m here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.” [I didn’t like how Superman Returns ruined that line.]   (Lois) “You’re gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #204 – Peter Pan (to complete my trilogy of films with people flying around)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

133 Followers and Counting

 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

17 Tuesday Jun 2014

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Wudan swordsman Li Mu Bai
Meditates but goes too high.
He resolves to now retire
But must still avenge his sire,
For his master was brought low
By the Jade Fox long ago.
Mu Bai has a deep connection
With Shu Lien but curbs affection.
 
When Shu Lien goes to Beijing
With Li’s sword for safekeeping,
She meets young patrician Jen,
Who befriends the strong Shu Lien.
Mu Bai’s sword Green Destiny
Soon is stolen suddenly
By a figure in the night,
Matching Shu Lien in a fight.
 
Shu Lien knows that it is Jen,
Who is stronger than most men.
One policeman wants things solved,
For the Jade Fox is involved.
In a courtyard fight, Jen shocks
Her own teacher, the Jade Fox,
As Jen proves how sharp and skilled
She can be, and so strong-willed.
 
Ere Jen’s marriage brings her woe,
She is visited by Lo,
Desert bandit and her swain,
Who insists she not remain.
Mu Bai sends him safe away,
Jen then flees and goes astray.
With the great Green Destiny,
She flaunts her ability,
Beating fighters left and right
With no end or goal in sight.
 
When she goes to see Shu Lien,
This wise woman angers Jen.
Though Jen barely wins their duel,
Li Mu Bai is much too cool.
He just wants to teach the lass,
But it seems she’d rather pass.
Jade Fox comes to “save” her pupil
But has neither love nor scruple.
 
Jen is drugged and meant to die
But rescued by Li Mu Bai.
Jade Fox dies but her foul art
Strikes him with a poison dart.
Passing while he loves Shu Lien,
Mu Bai can’t be saved by Jen.
Wishing all but love denied,
Jen leaps off the mountainside.
_______________
 

There is not an abundance of foreign-language films on my list, nor of martial arts movies, but Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is something unique. There are some moments that seem pulled from a comic book, like when Li Mu Bai says something like “We meet again, my old foe,” and there are other scenes of sheer beauty. The Oscar-winning cinematography is outstanding, showcasing the Chinese landscape from deserts to bamboo forests to towering misty mountains.

The other big draw is the bravura fight scenes, choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping of The Matrix fame. It’s staggering to imagine how much work went into staging the long, exciting martial arts duels, which are spaced periodically throughout the film. The actors leap and kick and defy gravity like Jedi knights, and, though some scenes of them running through the air look rather unrealistic, the wire work is seamless and extraordinary. The exchange with Li Mu Bai and Jen in the treetops and Jen’s awesome smackdown in a crowded restaurant are highlights of the whole genre, and the actors did most of their own stunts.

For all its visual splendor, I do wish the characters themselves were a bit more developed. Li Mu Bai, Shu Lien, and Jen are well-drawn, but most of the secondary characters aren’t given enough to do to distinguish one from another. While Ang Lee’s direction is excellent for the most part, the way he starts the film without much prologue or explanation doesn’t help the fact that I, as an American, don’t understand all of the Chinese culture he presents. As for the ending, it’s beautiful and mysterious, but it does leave the viewer scratching his head.

While most of the fighting is bloodless, there is at least one violent death, as well as a brief but steamy love scene. Despite this, the film is mostly clean and successfully portrays two distinct romances, the more mature, restrained love of Mu Bai and Shu Lien and the younger passionate love of Jen and Lo. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon merges transcendent conversations, epic action, exotic locales, vengeful villainy, and forbidden passion into an entertaining film worthy of both Oscars and awe.

Best line: (Sir Te to Shu Lien, speaking of Li Mu Bai) “When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (brief violence/sex and weak secondary characters): -4
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #205 – Superman

© 2014 S. G. Liput

132 Followers and Counting

 

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

129 Followers and Counting

 

#210: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

13 Friday Jun 2014

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The ocean liner named Poseidon cruises from New York to Greece.
Although he’s overruled, the captain says their ballast must increase.
As New Year’s Eve is wrapping up, with partying and ecstasy,
An underwater earthquake strikes, creating a catastrophe.
A towering wave, a great tsunami, makes the giant ship capsize.
Everything’s turned upside down to cries of terror and surprise.
 
At last, the vessel settles down, and partyers are grievers now,
But soon it strikes the Reverend Scott that they must all climb up somehow.
The bow is sinking so they must try climbing toward the skyward hull;
Poseidon’s purser thinks him foolish and exerts a halting pull.
However, Scott succeeds in swaying nine brave souls to join his hope,
But everyone else stays behind to wait or help the others cope.
 
The gruff policeman Rogo comes because of Linda, his loud wife,
And Belle and Manny Rosen want to be part of their grandson’s life.
The careful haberdasher Martin, who is single, tags along
And brings with him the grieving Nonnie, singer of the party’s song.
Then there’s the wounded waiter Acres, who does know the ship a lot,
And smart lad Robin and his sister Susan, who likes Reverend Scott.
 
They scale the party’s Christmas tree and get up higher just in time;
Explosions cause the party room to flood, and it’s too late to climb.
Throughout the topsy-turvy ship, the band of passengers ascends.
Although Scott acts so self-assured, they don’t know where their journey ends.
With water closing on their heels, they climb into a lofty shaft,
And while they rise, poor Acres then falls victim to the deadly craft.
 
Since Rogo hates Scott’s domineering, he insists they join a crowd,
But Scott is sure that they are wrong and tells them so and very loud.
He goes alone to find the wanted engine room that’s toward the stern.
Once he succeeds in finding it, he leads the small group to return.
The path’s already flooded, though, so they must swim to stay on track,
And Mrs. Rosen proves her worth but passes from a heart attack.
 
Though Mr. Rosen mourns his wife, her dying words help urge him on.
They find the target engine room and scaffolding to climb upon.
A sudden blast blocks their escape, and Mrs. Rogo falls as well.
To get them through, Scott turns a searing wheel while giving God a yell.
He clears the way and then lets go, compelling them before his fall;
The final six are rescued through Scott’s sacrifice to save them all.
_____________________
 

The Poseidon Adventure is one of those classic star-studded disaster movies of the 1970s and is easily the best, as far as I’m concerned. Boasting a number of Oscar winners, including Red Buttons (Mr. Martin), Jack Albertson of Willy Wonka fame (Mr. Rosen), Shelley Winters (Mrs. Rosen), and Ernest Borgnine (Mr. Rogo), it’s a film that doesn’t just display them for the sake of bragging but puts each of them to good use, and no one is put to better use than Gene Hackman as Reverend Scott. The first time she saw it, Hackman’s assured and intense performance made my VC admire him as much as Susan in the film. My favorite, though, is the Oscar-nominated Winters as Mrs. Rosen, a likable grandmotherly type whose death was the saddest for me.

Coming years before the likes of Titanic, the disaster scenes of the ship being overturned are fairly impressive for the time and garnered the first Special Achievement Academy Award at a time when there was no category for Special Effects. The film also offers some very unique visuals, showing entire rooms, stairways, and corridors upside down and sometimes underwater.

Considering that the violence was not graphic, it’s a shame that the filmmakers included several profanities. Also, I know he’s proud to be considered unorthodox, but Scott’s view of God seems rather contradictory. On the one hand, he talks about how God doesn’t concern himself with the individual (a clearly collectivist view) but mentions “that part of God within you” that will help you if you help yourself. Assuming he’s talking about the Holy Spirit, that’s God, indicating He does assist individuals. While Scott is certainly noble in his quest and sacrifice, I think his understanding of God and His role in the world and people’s lives is rather two-dimensional. Still, I do agree with part of the sermon he gives, as reflected in my Best Line.

The Poseidon Adventure was Irwin Allen’s crowning achievement and one of the best disaster films ever, putting focus on the characters as well as the terrible things happening to them. I’ll admit that I have not seen the 2006 remake Poseidon, but when the film is already this good, why redo it just for the sake of better effects?

Best line: (Reverend Scott, in his sermon) “God wants brave souls. He wants winners, not quitters. If you can’t win, at least try to win. God loves tryers…. So what resolution should we make for the New Year? Resolve to let God know that you have the guts and the will to do it alone. Resolve to fight for yourselves, and for others, for those you love. And that part of God within you will be fighting with you all the way.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #209 – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension (please don’t laugh)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

128 Followers and Counting

 

Memphis Belle (1990)

09 Monday Jun 2014

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The Allies fought hard in the Second World War
From beaches to fields everywhere,
But hundreds of thousands were chosen to soar
And battle the foes from the air.
 
One crew of such men who attacked from the sky
Was those on the plane Memphis Belle.
Twenty-four missions they managed to fly,
Surviving the aerial hell.
 
The twenty-fifth outing, their last for the war,
Both thrills and unnerves them at once.
They all celebrate at a party before
The mission that nobody wants.
 
There’s Dennis, the pilot, who rigidly reigns,
And Luke, the co-pilot, who’s brash
And wants just one chance to shoot down German planes
And gets it and causes a crash.
 
There’s Phil, who is nervous and fears he will die,
And Virge, who has restaurant ambitions,
And Jack, who likes teasing poor Gene, a young guy
Who prays and brings medals on missions.
 
There’s Rascal, the ladies’ man who almost falls when
His ball turret’s shot in midair,
And Clay, the tail gunner, who usually stalls when
He’s asked for his crooning to share.
 
There’s bombardier Val, who lets drop their payload,
Despite a blurred target at first.
He claims he’s a doctor who’ll soon hit the road,
But proves he knows naught when coerced.
 
For Danny, a young Irish poet who’s kind,
Is injured while they’re flying back.
Val faces a choice that perplexes his mind
But keeps Dan from fading to black.
 
Within sight of base, they are nearly home free,
But one of their landing gear’s stuck.
They quickly descend the wheel manually,
And everyone cheers at their pluck.
 
They get Danny quickly to medical care,
And all of the heroes exult.
They each did their duty and fought from the air,
And home awaits as a result.
_______________
 

War movies often focus on different aspects of a conflict in order to stay fresh and avoid copying another film that’s already been done. Lawrence of Arabia focused on the war in the Middle East; The Great Escape presented POWs in Europe; The Bridge on the River Kwai had POWs in the South Pacific; War Horse was from a faithful steed’s perspective; and Patton centered on a single general of World War II. Memphis Belle chooses to shine a spotlight on the WWII bombers in the air. It doesn’t so much focus on aerial dogfights as on a group of barrack buddies who are given a task and simply try to survive so they can go home. It isn’t historically accurate when it comes to the real Memphis Belle and its missions and crew, but this is a realistic war film that gives an authentic sense of actually being on a dangerous bombing run.

The best war films manage to create characters that viewers can care about in the midst of peril, and Memphis Belle certainly succeeds in this regard. Each of the young men on the plane has unique personalities and traits that make them into real people. Even if their names don’t stick, one can remember the religious gunner (Courtney Gains), the cocky co-pilot (Tate Donovan), the careful pilot (Matthew Modine), the lecherous gunner (Sean Astin), the nervous navigator (D. B. Sweeney), the calm crooner (Harry Connick, Jr.), and the doubtful doctor (Billy Zane), among others. The initial voiceover introductions don’t help all that much in distinguishing the characters, but by the end each has a moment, an act of kindness, a moral quandary, a fateful decision, that helped me know and appreciate each one. That being said, I do have trouble telling the actors apart at times. I can easily recognize Sean Astin and Billy Zane from their other films I’ve seen, but I’m not as familiar with the others so most of them look the same to me. Even so, David Strathairn offers John Lithgow’s character (and the audience) a heart-tugging glimpse at the war’s losses and the difficult job faced by officers as well.

During the mission, almost everything goes wrong, from cloud cover over the target to engine fires to lost comrades on nearby planes to the landing gear not lowering properly. The excitement and entertainment also come from how the men deal with these issues and the general stress of the mission. One gets drunk, one prays, one whittles, one does magic tricks, and one writes poetry (yeah, I like Danny [Eric Stoltz]). Though there’s some unfortunate language, the violence is restrained, and the very human characters and engagingly episodic plot make up for it. You won’t find too many war films on my list, but Memphis Belle definitely deserves a spot.

Best line: (Gene, searching through the barracks) “Has anyone seen my St. Anthony’s medal?”
(Danny) “Isn’t he the patron saint of lost things?”
(Gene) “Yeah, I can’t find it.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language): -4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #213 – Anastasia (1997)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

07 Saturday Jun 2014

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Both Carmen and Juni are now superspies,
Esteemed for their expertise and their small size.
They’re called in to rescue the President’s daughter
When she gets in danger so her dad will spot her,
But Gary and Gerti, the Giggles, step in
And steal all the spotlight, to Juni’s chagrin.
 
A formal spy banquet gives cause for concern
When Donnagon Giggles, who’s crooked we’ll learn,
Is named the new head of the whole OSS,
When really it should have been Mr. Cortez.
Some magnetic henchmen who do not play nice
Attack and obtain the Transmooker device.
 
Though Juni is blamed for the prized gadget’s loss,
His sister, through hacking, just sidesteps their boss.
They send the two Giggles on some dirty mission
While they take a coveted new expedition.
They’re sent to an island that doesn’t exist,
But when their sub shuts down, it cannot be missed.
 
Their gadgets are useless upon this strange isle,
And after exploring and falling awhile,
They locate Romero, a scientist who
Made hybridized creatures to fill his own zoo.
These beasts run amok while their maker yet hides,
But he proves of use with the news he provides.
 
He built the Transmooker, which hides this whole isle,
And tells how to find it through many a trial.
Once they have fought skeletons, monsters, and Gary,
They get the Transmooker; it’s dangerous, very.
Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents track
Their whereabouts so they can bring the kids back.
 
At last, there’s a standoff between the two sides,
Cortezes and Giggles (Romero besides).
Though Donnagon’s winning, his daughter won’t let
Her father take over the world as a threat.
The villain is fired as OSS head,
And Mr. Cortez gets that honor instead.
Romero connects with his creatures at last,
And all the Cortezes, a team unsurpassed,
Go back home together. (The credits go fast.)
______________________
 

After the initial success of the first Spy Kids, it certainly had the potential to grow into a “keeper” of a franchise, and this sequel just confirmed that. Most people probably like the first one better, but I like Spy Kids 2 more because it ramps up the sheer coolness to new heights and leaves out the loopy weirdness of Floop for the most part in favor of more awesome weirdness.

In many ways, this film feels like Robert Rodriguez’s melting pot, in which he threw so many seemingly random elements that somehow still came together into a coherent and entertaining adventure. There are impressive gadgets, crazy theme park rides, magnet-heads, robot bugs, sea monsters, bottomless volcanoes, a mad scientist, flying pigs, Harryhausen-esque skeletons, miniature crossbreeds, giant crossbreeds, a flying wheelchair, girl power, and even Antonio Banderas’s mustache. The part with the skeletons and mind-reading does feel rather out of place, but any movie that can manage all that so successfully is quite an achievement.

Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara do just as well here as in the first film, and Steve Buscemi balances silliness and sincerity as Romero. It’s a shame that the villainous Donnagon (Mike Judge), as well as “Uncle” Felix (Cheech Marin), show so little gratitude for the fact that the Cortezes saved them from life as Fooglies in the first film. Yet Donnagon’s two children Gary and Gertie are welcome additions to the Spy Kids lineup, as are Holland Taylor and Ricardo Montalban as Ingrid Cortez’s parents. Plus, Bill Paxton looked like he was having fun in the opening scene at the amusement park.

With so much added to the franchise with this film, it’s a real shame that it degraded so quickly to Spy Kids 3-D. Journey to the Center of the Earth has many scenes clearly meant for 3-D, but it didn’t distract from the film too much. It was nice that Ricardo Montalban got more screen time, but Spy Kids 3-D was so obviously gimmicky and flimsy that its visuals and large cast could not save it from being a big disappointment for a franchise that had seemed to be getting better and better.

Even so, Spy Kids 2 stands out as another fun adventure, once again celebrating family ties. The special effects aren’t perfect but have a unique look that is sometimes reminiscent of Jason and the Argonauts. Plus, that concert at the end in which Alexa Vega sings “Isle of Dreams” is energetic, funny, and deserving of a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Good stuff.

Best line: (Gary, and later Juni) “An agent is only as good as his gadgets.” (which is subtly disproved later on)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #215 – Dances with Wolves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

The Terminator (1984)

06 Friday Jun 2014

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The future is dismal and vast:
Machines conquered Earth very fast.
The humans impede
On the bots and succeed,
But one cyborg goes to the past.
 
This buff, human-like Terminator
Is out for the blood of a waiter.
He wants Sarah Connor,
Is almost upon her,
But fails when he tries to negate her.
 
A human came too, Kyle Reese,
To not let this woman decease.
He gets her away,
But they both cause a fray,
And are captured by L.A. police.
 
The cyborg of termination
Just massacres all at the station.
Both Sarah and Reese
Seize this chance for release
And flee from the sheer devastation.
 
They go to a hotel and kiss,
Conceiving the cause of all this.
For Sarah’s son John
Will lead rebellion,
Which all the machines want to miss.
 
The cyborg finds them and gives chase,
And they run all over the place.
They blow up the bot;
It’s dead now…or not.
It now has a scarier face.
 
They take a dark factory tour
And then blow it up like before.
Reese dies from the blast,
But it’s over at last.
No, wait, half its body wants more!
 
When Sarah is done panicking,
She finally crushes the thing.
No more Terminator,
She then drives south later
And fears what the future will bring.
___________________
 

James Cameron has directed a number of great feature films and some less than great, but it all started with this one (if you ignore Piranha II). The plot combines traditional horror hunts with a surprisingly well-thought-out dystopian future and time travel to create something at once scary, thrilling, and unique, especially for 1984.

I think the main reason for its success was not Linda Hamilton as Sarah or Michael Biehn as Reese (though both do an excellent job) but Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will forever be the Terminator. If great acting involves simply being steely enough to intimidate both the characters and the audience, then the former governor of California is a master. Many critics said the role was perfect for him because he didn’t have to speak much. He’s so integral to the franchise that he’ll even be in the reboot next year.

The film itself is a thrill ride with great focus put on the car chases. My VC, who likes the film too, actually thought the chase scenes ran on rather long. The part involving Reese and Sarah’s romance in the hotel room slowed it down a bit too much, in addition to throwing in unnecessary nudity.

Overall, it is certainly an R-rated movie. There’s profanity, tons of shooting and deaths (though Cameron could have made it worse), the nudity, and that icky scene with the Terminator’s eye, which is mitigated by the fact that it’s obviously an animatronic. Yet The Terminator is also a gold standard for sci-fi fans with cool effects and some truly awesome explosions and is a definite part of popular culture. I’ve already reviewed the third one and this is the first, so all I can say for the Terminator is that he’ll “be back.”

Best line: (you guessed it; the Terminator) “I’ll be back.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 10
Watchability: 7
Other (violence, language, nudity, etc.) -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #216 – Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting