Tag Archives: Action

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

17 Tuesday Jun 2014

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Wudan swordsman Li Mu Bai
Meditates but goes too high.
He resolves to now retire
But must still avenge his sire,
For his master was brought low
By the Jade Fox long ago.
Mu Bai has a deep connection
With Shu Lien but curbs affection.
 
When Shu Lien goes to Beijing
With Li’s sword for safekeeping,
She meets young patrician Jen,
Who befriends the strong Shu Lien.
Mu Bai’s sword Green Destiny
Soon is stolen suddenly
By a figure in the night,
Matching Shu Lien in a fight.
 
Shu Lien knows that it is Jen,
Who is stronger than most men.
One policeman wants things solved,
For the Jade Fox is involved.
In a courtyard fight, Jen shocks
Her own teacher, the Jade Fox,
As Jen proves how sharp and skilled
She can be, and so strong-willed.
 
Ere Jen’s marriage brings her woe,
She is visited by Lo,
Desert bandit and her swain,
Who insists she not remain.
Mu Bai sends him safe away,
Jen then flees and goes astray.
With the great Green Destiny,
She flaunts her ability,
Beating fighters left and right
With no end or goal in sight.
 
When she goes to see Shu Lien,
This wise woman angers Jen.
Though Jen barely wins their duel,
Li Mu Bai is much too cool.
He just wants to teach the lass,
But it seems she’d rather pass.
Jade Fox comes to “save” her pupil
But has neither love nor scruple.
 
Jen is drugged and meant to die
But rescued by Li Mu Bai.
Jade Fox dies but her foul art
Strikes him with a poison dart.
Passing while he loves Shu Lien,
Mu Bai can’t be saved by Jen.
Wishing all but love denied,
Jen leaps off the mountainside.
_______________
 

There is not an abundance of foreign-language films on my list, nor of martial arts movies, but Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is something unique. There are some moments that seem pulled from a comic book, like when Li Mu Bai says something like “We meet again, my old foe,” and there are other scenes of sheer beauty. The Oscar-winning cinematography is outstanding, showcasing the Chinese landscape from deserts to bamboo forests to towering misty mountains.

The other big draw is the bravura fight scenes, choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping of The Matrix fame. It’s staggering to imagine how much work went into staging the long, exciting martial arts duels, which are spaced periodically throughout the film. The actors leap and kick and defy gravity like Jedi knights, and, though some scenes of them running through the air look rather unrealistic, the wire work is seamless and extraordinary. The exchange with Li Mu Bai and Jen in the treetops and Jen’s awesome smackdown in a crowded restaurant are highlights of the whole genre, and the actors did most of their own stunts.

For all its visual splendor, I do wish the characters themselves were a bit more developed. Li Mu Bai, Shu Lien, and Jen are well-drawn, but most of the secondary characters aren’t given enough to do to distinguish one from another. While Ang Lee’s direction is excellent for the most part, the way he starts the film without much prologue or explanation doesn’t help the fact that I, as an American, don’t understand all of the Chinese culture he presents. As for the ending, it’s beautiful and mysterious, but it does leave the viewer scratching his head.

While most of the fighting is bloodless, there is at least one violent death, as well as a brief but steamy love scene. Despite this, the film is mostly clean and successfully portrays two distinct romances, the more mature, restrained love of Mu Bai and Shu Lien and the younger passionate love of Jen and Lo. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon merges transcendent conversations, epic action, exotic locales, vengeful villainy, and forbidden passion into an entertaining film worthy of both Oscars and awe.

Best line: (Sir Te to Shu Lien, speaking of Li Mu Bai) “When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (brief violence/sex and weak secondary characters): -4
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #205 – Superman

© 2014 S. G. Liput

132 Followers and Counting

 

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

129 Followers and Counting

 

#210: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

13 Friday Jun 2014

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The ocean liner named Poseidon cruises from New York to Greece.
Although he’s overruled, the captain says their ballast must increase.
As New Year’s Eve is wrapping up, with partying and ecstasy,
An underwater earthquake strikes, creating a catastrophe.
A towering wave, a great tsunami, makes the giant ship capsize.
Everything’s turned upside down to cries of terror and surprise.
 
At last, the vessel settles down, and partyers are grievers now,
But soon it strikes the Reverend Scott that they must all climb up somehow.
The bow is sinking so they must try climbing toward the skyward hull;
Poseidon’s purser thinks him foolish and exerts a halting pull.
However, Scott succeeds in swaying nine brave souls to join his hope,
But everyone else stays behind to wait or help the others cope.
 
The gruff policeman Rogo comes because of Linda, his loud wife,
And Belle and Manny Rosen want to be part of their grandson’s life.
The careful haberdasher Martin, who is single, tags along
And brings with him the grieving Nonnie, singer of the party’s song.
Then there’s the wounded waiter Acres, who does know the ship a lot,
And smart lad Robin and his sister Susan, who likes Reverend Scott.
 
They scale the party’s Christmas tree and get up higher just in time;
Explosions cause the party room to flood, and it’s too late to climb.
Throughout the topsy-turvy ship, the band of passengers ascends.
Although Scott acts so self-assured, they don’t know where their journey ends.
With water closing on their heels, they climb into a lofty shaft,
And while they rise, poor Acres then falls victim to the deadly craft.
 
Since Rogo hates Scott’s domineering, he insists they join a crowd,
But Scott is sure that they are wrong and tells them so and very loud.
He goes alone to find the wanted engine room that’s toward the stern.
Once he succeeds in finding it, he leads the small group to return.
The path’s already flooded, though, so they must swim to stay on track,
And Mrs. Rosen proves her worth but passes from a heart attack.
 
Though Mr. Rosen mourns his wife, her dying words help urge him on.
They find the target engine room and scaffolding to climb upon.
A sudden blast blocks their escape, and Mrs. Rogo falls as well.
To get them through, Scott turns a searing wheel while giving God a yell.
He clears the way and then lets go, compelling them before his fall;
The final six are rescued through Scott’s sacrifice to save them all.
_____________________
 

The Poseidon Adventure is one of those classic star-studded disaster movies of the 1970s and is easily the best, as far as I’m concerned. Boasting a number of Oscar winners, including Red Buttons (Mr. Martin), Jack Albertson of Willy Wonka fame (Mr. Rosen), Shelley Winters (Mrs. Rosen), and Ernest Borgnine (Mr. Rogo), it’s a film that doesn’t just display them for the sake of bragging but puts each of them to good use, and no one is put to better use than Gene Hackman as Reverend Scott. The first time she saw it, Hackman’s assured and intense performance made my VC admire him as much as Susan in the film. My favorite, though, is the Oscar-nominated Winters as Mrs. Rosen, a likable grandmotherly type whose death was the saddest for me.

Coming years before the likes of Titanic, the disaster scenes of the ship being overturned are fairly impressive for the time and garnered the first Special Achievement Academy Award at a time when there was no category for Special Effects. The film also offers some very unique visuals, showing entire rooms, stairways, and corridors upside down and sometimes underwater.

Considering that the violence was not graphic, it’s a shame that the filmmakers included several profanities. Also, I know he’s proud to be considered unorthodox, but Scott’s view of God seems rather contradictory. On the one hand, he talks about how God doesn’t concern himself with the individual (a clearly collectivist view) but mentions “that part of God within you” that will help you if you help yourself. Assuming he’s talking about the Holy Spirit, that’s God, indicating He does assist individuals. While Scott is certainly noble in his quest and sacrifice, I think his understanding of God and His role in the world and people’s lives is rather two-dimensional. Still, I do agree with part of the sermon he gives, as reflected in my Best Line.

The Poseidon Adventure was Irwin Allen’s crowning achievement and one of the best disaster films ever, putting focus on the characters as well as the terrible things happening to them. I’ll admit that I have not seen the 2006 remake Poseidon, but when the film is already this good, why redo it just for the sake of better effects?

Best line: (Reverend Scott, in his sermon) “God wants brave souls. He wants winners, not quitters. If you can’t win, at least try to win. God loves tryers…. So what resolution should we make for the New Year? Resolve to let God know that you have the guts and the will to do it alone. Resolve to fight for yourselves, and for others, for those you love. And that part of God within you will be fighting with you all the way.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #209 – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension (please don’t laugh)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

128 Followers and Counting

 

Memphis Belle (1990)

09 Monday Jun 2014

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The Allies fought hard in the Second World War
From beaches to fields everywhere,
But hundreds of thousands were chosen to soar
And battle the foes from the air.
 
One crew of such men who attacked from the sky
Was those on the plane Memphis Belle.
Twenty-four missions they managed to fly,
Surviving the aerial hell.
 
The twenty-fifth outing, their last for the war,
Both thrills and unnerves them at once.
They all celebrate at a party before
The mission that nobody wants.
 
There’s Dennis, the pilot, who rigidly reigns,
And Luke, the co-pilot, who’s brash
And wants just one chance to shoot down German planes
And gets it and causes a crash.
 
There’s Phil, who is nervous and fears he will die,
And Virge, who has restaurant ambitions,
And Jack, who likes teasing poor Gene, a young guy
Who prays and brings medals on missions.
 
There’s Rascal, the ladies’ man who almost falls when
His ball turret’s shot in midair,
And Clay, the tail gunner, who usually stalls when
He’s asked for his crooning to share.
 
There’s bombardier Val, who lets drop their payload,
Despite a blurred target at first.
He claims he’s a doctor who’ll soon hit the road,
But proves he knows naught when coerced.
 
For Danny, a young Irish poet who’s kind,
Is injured while they’re flying back.
Val faces a choice that perplexes his mind
But keeps Dan from fading to black.
 
Within sight of base, they are nearly home free,
But one of their landing gear’s stuck.
They quickly descend the wheel manually,
And everyone cheers at their pluck.
 
They get Danny quickly to medical care,
And all of the heroes exult.
They each did their duty and fought from the air,
And home awaits as a result.
_______________
 

War movies often focus on different aspects of a conflict in order to stay fresh and avoid copying another film that’s already been done. Lawrence of Arabia focused on the war in the Middle East; The Great Escape presented POWs in Europe; The Bridge on the River Kwai had POWs in the South Pacific; War Horse was from a faithful steed’s perspective; and Patton centered on a single general of World War II. Memphis Belle chooses to shine a spotlight on the WWII bombers in the air. It doesn’t so much focus on aerial dogfights as on a group of barrack buddies who are given a task and simply try to survive so they can go home. It isn’t historically accurate when it comes to the real Memphis Belle and its missions and crew, but this is a realistic war film that gives an authentic sense of actually being on a dangerous bombing run.

The best war films manage to create characters that viewers can care about in the midst of peril, and Memphis Belle certainly succeeds in this regard. Each of the young men on the plane has unique personalities and traits that make them into real people. Even if their names don’t stick, one can remember the religious gunner (Courtney Gains), the cocky co-pilot (Tate Donovan), the careful pilot (Matthew Modine), the lecherous gunner (Sean Astin), the nervous navigator (D. B. Sweeney), the calm crooner (Harry Connick, Jr.), and the doubtful doctor (Billy Zane), among others. The initial voiceover introductions don’t help all that much in distinguishing the characters, but by the end each has a moment, an act of kindness, a moral quandary, a fateful decision, that helped me know and appreciate each one. That being said, I do have trouble telling the actors apart at times. I can easily recognize Sean Astin and Billy Zane from their other films I’ve seen, but I’m not as familiar with the others so most of them look the same to me. Even so, David Strathairn offers John Lithgow’s character (and the audience) a heart-tugging glimpse at the war’s losses and the difficult job faced by officers as well.

During the mission, almost everything goes wrong, from cloud cover over the target to engine fires to lost comrades on nearby planes to the landing gear not lowering properly. The excitement and entertainment also come from how the men deal with these issues and the general stress of the mission. One gets drunk, one prays, one whittles, one does magic tricks, and one writes poetry (yeah, I like Danny [Eric Stoltz]). Though there’s some unfortunate language, the violence is restrained, and the very human characters and engagingly episodic plot make up for it. You won’t find too many war films on my list, but Memphis Belle definitely deserves a spot.

Best line: (Gene, searching through the barracks) “Has anyone seen my St. Anthony’s medal?”
(Danny) “Isn’t he the patron saint of lost things?”
(Gene) “Yeah, I can’t find it.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language): -4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #213 – Anastasia (1997)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

07 Saturday Jun 2014

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Both Carmen and Juni are now superspies,
Esteemed for their expertise and their small size.
They’re called in to rescue the President’s daughter
When she gets in danger so her dad will spot her,
But Gary and Gerti, the Giggles, step in
And steal all the spotlight, to Juni’s chagrin.
 
A formal spy banquet gives cause for concern
When Donnagon Giggles, who’s crooked we’ll learn,
Is named the new head of the whole OSS,
When really it should have been Mr. Cortez.
Some magnetic henchmen who do not play nice
Attack and obtain the Transmooker device.
 
Though Juni is blamed for the prized gadget’s loss,
His sister, through hacking, just sidesteps their boss.
They send the two Giggles on some dirty mission
While they take a coveted new expedition.
They’re sent to an island that doesn’t exist,
But when their sub shuts down, it cannot be missed.
 
Their gadgets are useless upon this strange isle,
And after exploring and falling awhile,
They locate Romero, a scientist who
Made hybridized creatures to fill his own zoo.
These beasts run amok while their maker yet hides,
But he proves of use with the news he provides.
 
He built the Transmooker, which hides this whole isle,
And tells how to find it through many a trial.
Once they have fought skeletons, monsters, and Gary,
They get the Transmooker; it’s dangerous, very.
Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents track
Their whereabouts so they can bring the kids back.
 
At last, there’s a standoff between the two sides,
Cortezes and Giggles (Romero besides).
Though Donnagon’s winning, his daughter won’t let
Her father take over the world as a threat.
The villain is fired as OSS head,
And Mr. Cortez gets that honor instead.
Romero connects with his creatures at last,
And all the Cortezes, a team unsurpassed,
Go back home together. (The credits go fast.)
______________________
 

After the initial success of the first Spy Kids, it certainly had the potential to grow into a “keeper” of a franchise, and this sequel just confirmed that. Most people probably like the first one better, but I like Spy Kids 2 more because it ramps up the sheer coolness to new heights and leaves out the loopy weirdness of Floop for the most part in favor of more awesome weirdness.

In many ways, this film feels like Robert Rodriguez’s melting pot, in which he threw so many seemingly random elements that somehow still came together into a coherent and entertaining adventure. There are impressive gadgets, crazy theme park rides, magnet-heads, robot bugs, sea monsters, bottomless volcanoes, a mad scientist, flying pigs, Harryhausen-esque skeletons, miniature crossbreeds, giant crossbreeds, a flying wheelchair, girl power, and even Antonio Banderas’s mustache. The part with the skeletons and mind-reading does feel rather out of place, but any movie that can manage all that so successfully is quite an achievement.

Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara do just as well here as in the first film, and Steve Buscemi balances silliness and sincerity as Romero. It’s a shame that the villainous Donnagon (Mike Judge), as well as “Uncle” Felix (Cheech Marin), show so little gratitude for the fact that the Cortezes saved them from life as Fooglies in the first film. Yet Donnagon’s two children Gary and Gertie are welcome additions to the Spy Kids lineup, as are Holland Taylor and Ricardo Montalban as Ingrid Cortez’s parents. Plus, Bill Paxton looked like he was having fun in the opening scene at the amusement park.

With so much added to the franchise with this film, it’s a real shame that it degraded so quickly to Spy Kids 3-D. Journey to the Center of the Earth has many scenes clearly meant for 3-D, but it didn’t distract from the film too much. It was nice that Ricardo Montalban got more screen time, but Spy Kids 3-D was so obviously gimmicky and flimsy that its visuals and large cast could not save it from being a big disappointment for a franchise that had seemed to be getting better and better.

Even so, Spy Kids 2 stands out as another fun adventure, once again celebrating family ties. The special effects aren’t perfect but have a unique look that is sometimes reminiscent of Jason and the Argonauts. Plus, that concert at the end in which Alexa Vega sings “Isle of Dreams” is energetic, funny, and deserving of a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Good stuff.

Best line: (Gary, and later Juni) “An agent is only as good as his gadgets.” (which is subtly disproved later on)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #215 – Dances with Wolves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

The Terminator (1984)

06 Friday Jun 2014

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The future is dismal and vast:
Machines conquered Earth very fast.
The humans impede
On the bots and succeed,
But one cyborg goes to the past.
 
This buff, human-like Terminator
Is out for the blood of a waiter.
He wants Sarah Connor,
Is almost upon her,
But fails when he tries to negate her.
 
A human came too, Kyle Reese,
To not let this woman decease.
He gets her away,
But they both cause a fray,
And are captured by L.A. police.
 
The cyborg of termination
Just massacres all at the station.
Both Sarah and Reese
Seize this chance for release
And flee from the sheer devastation.
 
They go to a hotel and kiss,
Conceiving the cause of all this.
For Sarah’s son John
Will lead rebellion,
Which all the machines want to miss.
 
The cyborg finds them and gives chase,
And they run all over the place.
They blow up the bot;
It’s dead now…or not.
It now has a scarier face.
 
They take a dark factory tour
And then blow it up like before.
Reese dies from the blast,
But it’s over at last.
No, wait, half its body wants more!
 
When Sarah is done panicking,
She finally crushes the thing.
No more Terminator,
She then drives south later
And fears what the future will bring.
___________________
 

James Cameron has directed a number of great feature films and some less than great, but it all started with this one (if you ignore Piranha II). The plot combines traditional horror hunts with a surprisingly well-thought-out dystopian future and time travel to create something at once scary, thrilling, and unique, especially for 1984.

I think the main reason for its success was not Linda Hamilton as Sarah or Michael Biehn as Reese (though both do an excellent job) but Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will forever be the Terminator. If great acting involves simply being steely enough to intimidate both the characters and the audience, then the former governor of California is a master. Many critics said the role was perfect for him because he didn’t have to speak much. He’s so integral to the franchise that he’ll even be in the reboot next year.

The film itself is a thrill ride with great focus put on the car chases. My VC, who likes the film too, actually thought the chase scenes ran on rather long. The part involving Reese and Sarah’s romance in the hotel room slowed it down a bit too much, in addition to throwing in unnecessary nudity.

Overall, it is certainly an R-rated movie. There’s profanity, tons of shooting and deaths (though Cameron could have made it worse), the nudity, and that icky scene with the Terminator’s eye, which is mitigated by the fact that it’s obviously an animatronic. Yet The Terminator is also a gold standard for sci-fi fans with cool effects and some truly awesome explosions and is a definite part of popular culture. I’ve already reviewed the third one and this is the first, so all I can say for the Terminator is that he’ll “be back.”

Best line: (you guessed it; the Terminator) “I’ll be back.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 10
Watchability: 7
Other (violence, language, nudity, etc.) -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #216 – Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Superman II (1980)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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Superman is back again
To keep the world on track again.
He loves reporter Lois Lane,
Who loves the hero heaven-sent
But not her coworker Clark Kent,
Not knowing they’re one and the same.
 
Paris has a bombing threat
And soon owes Superman a debt.
He lets the bomb explode in space,
Unknowingly releasing three
Kryptonians from captivity,
Who plan to rule the human race.
 
At Niagara Falls, though, Lane
Believes Clark isn’t so mundane.
She learns that he is Superman;
For their love he then commits
To sap his powers; he just quits
Freely, with no backup plan.
 
Ursa, Non, and General Zod
Take the planet and play God.
When Clark learns of this too late,
He regains his mighty powers
To defend this world of ours
From the trio full of hate.
 
When he cannot beat all three,
There’s one place that he can flee.
But Lex Luthor tells the sinners
Where to find him, so they soar
To his Fortress to make war.
There they vie to be the winners.
 
Superman, through cleverness,
Makes the villains powerless
And each wicked rogue descends.
Lois though is still upset,
Such that Clark makes her forget,
And they’re once again just friends.
Thus with fanfare, this tale ends.
_________________
 

Superman was one of the great original superhero movies, and this sequel continued its winning blend of (then) impressive visuals, memorable villains, and melodramatic comic-ness. My VC and I have always felt that Christopher Reeve was Superman, easily outdoing Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill in embodying the character. Likewise, Gene Hackman excels as Lex Luthor, though Kevin Spacey came close to hitting the mark in Superman Returns while making the character much darker than Hackman’s portrayal. Margot Kidder may not be the Lois Lane, but she’s the best one I’ve seen and does pair well with Reeve. Lastly, the three villains, Ursa, Non, and General Zod, may be one-dimensionally villainous, but they are certainly formidable opponents for the man of steel.

I’ll go ahead and say that the first film is higher on my list, mainly because this second one has some elements that bother me. Aside from some silly effects, like clothes fluttering in the “breeze” of space, Superman himself is much less vigilant than he ought to be, letting both a nuclear threat in Paris and a worldwide extraterrestrial takeover slip past him. His removal of his powers (for the sake of “love”) may be romantic, but it also seems quite selfish and irresponsible on his part, as well as Lois Lane’s. The scene where he is beaten up in a diner confirmed the issue to me. In the first film, it was clear that Superman was pretending to be the nerdy Clark Kent; in Superman II, mainly in the middle part, it seems as if Clark Kent is pretending to be Superman and failing.

Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable superhero film that may not have the spectacular effects of more recent movies (though some destructive scenes in the Metropolis battle are impressive), but the familiar characters, engaging plot, glorious score, and campy action come together to make it a classic. It’s also much better than its two sequels. I haven’t seen them, but my VC says don’t bother.

Best line (or at least the most laughable): (a Metropolis bystander, after they think Superman has been defeated by the invulnerable supervillains) “They’ve killed Superman! What are we gonna do now?” (another man) “Let’s go get ’em! C’mon, I know some judo.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #217 – The Terminator

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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When Trevor Anderson, a failing volcanologist,
Is visited by nephew Sean, they try to coexist.
A decade earlier, Sean’s father Max just disappeared
While proving geologic theories he had pioneered.
 
They locate Max’s copy of the classic book by Verne,
A Journey to the Center of the Earth, and they discern
That Max saw seismic signals, that are present now as well,
Which sent him off to Iceland, where his brother thinks he fell.
 
Both Sean and Trevor follow where they think Max may have flown,
A closed-down institute where a young woman lives alone.
This Hannah says her father thought Verne’s book was based on fact,
And Max most likely did as well, though why is not exact.
 
She takes them to the mountain where a sensor’s activated,
But lightning traps them in a cave; their journey seems ill-fated.
Descending deeper underground, they find a vacant mine
And, after cruising in some carts, discover gems that shine.
 
The floor gives out from under them, and falling takes a while.
At last, they reach the bottom after mile after mile.
They find a giant, hidden world within the planet’s core,
Just like the book by Verne that they had not believed before.
 
Once they find Max’s body, they know danger is afoot.
The temperature is rising, and the trio can’t stay put.
They sail across the ocean; though Sean ends up blown away,
They all continue northward, having only one more day.
 
Encountering more perils, killer plants and floating stones,
Both Sean and Trevor reunite upon a field of bones.
Escaping from a T-Rex, they and Hannah hitch a ride
On a giant lava geyser that blows all of them outside.
 
The group emerge in Italy in cockamamie style,
And Sean brought back some diamonds that help make the trip worthwhile.
When Sean’s about to leave, his Uncle Trevor then suggests
Atlantis could be next on their potential list of quests.
____________________
 

Journey to the Center of the Earth is one of those special effects overloads that, unlike the Transformers films, doesn’t take itself too seriously. It was never meant to be an Oscar contender or an award winner of any kind; it’s just a flawed but all-around fun movie to watch. It’s definitely an enjoyable ride.

I suppose the main reason that my VC and I like it is Brendan Fraser. He’s a skilled and very likable actor, but his career choices have often been stinkers. In Journey, his campy but sincere acting has the right outlet, unlike George of the Jungle or Furry Vengeance. Josh Hutcherson and Anita Briem also own their roles as Sean and Hannah.

To be honest, much of this we’ve seen before. The continuous falling reminded me of a similar scene in Spy Kids 2, the mine cart is like the climax of Temple of Doom, and the dinosaur scenes aren’t that different from the likes of Dinosaur or Jurassic Park. There are also plenty of plot holes. If the temperature is rising so drastically and has done so before, how do the glowing birds survive? How can a Venus fly-trap without eyes, lungs, or a brain attack and hiss at someone? How can they do all that work, building a raft and such, without sweating much or breathing hard in 100-degree-plus heat? If she isn’t like her father, why is an attractive single lady living alone in a deserted wasteland?

Thus, this is not a film for nitpickers. It’s an entertaining and clean adventure with dazzling effects (originally intended to be seen in 3-D) and a pseudo-scientific backing. I wonder what Verne would think of it? (By the way, I don’t care to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Dwayne Johnson isn’t a good enough substitute for Fraser, in my opinion as well as my VC’s.)

Best line: (Sean, in danger, after Trevor’s mention of a rock called schist) “Oh, we’re in deep schist.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #218 – Superman II

© 2014 S. G. Liput

120 Followers and Counting

 

The Legend of Zorro (2005)

27 Tuesday May 2014

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Alejandro De La Vega, known as Zorro to the masses,
Has defended for ten years all of the helpless lower classes,
But his faithful wife Elena wants her husband to be done
So he’ll spend time with Joaquin, their mini-Zorro of a son.
 
California will soon join the Union as its newest state,
And a bandit named McGivens wants to stop this favored fate.
Zorro stops him once but later cannot save a man in need
When McGivens tries to threaten him and plunder his land’s deed.
 
In the meantime, Alejandro is confronted with divorce,
And Elena soon is dating with no inkling of remorse.
Her beau Armand, a wealthy count, sparks Alejandro’s rage;
Joaquin is likewise angry when the couple get engaged.
 
Joaquin, while snooping round McGivens, catches on a rope,
But Zorro saves him, bringing from the scene a bar of soap.
Alejandro is abducted by the Pinkertons and jailed.
They explain that all this time the pair have had his wife blackmailed.
 
Since they knew who Zorro was, Elena bowed to all their wishes
And has since been undercover, for Armand is quite suspicious.
Alejandro gets Joaquin to break him out so he can mount
His devoted steed Tornado and go spy upon the count.
 
Pairing up with brave Elena, they hear from Armand’s own mouth
How he’ll give a new explosive to the war-preparing South.
He disposes of the Pinkertons and learns Elena’s ploy,
Catching her, as well as Zorro and their wily little boy.
 
He unmasks Don Alejandro, to his son’s surprise and shock,
And departs by train to transport his unstable bottled stock.
Zorro finishes McGivens and swashbuckles with Armand
While Joaquin prevents a crowd from blowing to the great beyond.
 
Alejandro and Elena flee before the train careens,
But Armand is not so lucky and is blown to smithereens.
As the lovers marry once again, their country now a state,
Zorro’s called to save the day and is supported by his mate.
_____________________
 

The Legend of Zorro is not as good as its predecessor, The Mask of Zorro, featuring more silly humor and a plot full of historical inaccuracies, but it delivers the swashbuckling action that makes any Zorro movie enjoyable. Many critics disliked it, and I admit it does have some less-than-ideal elements, but most of them can be countered: Zorro’s son is rather irritating and bratty in his Scrappy-Doo enthusiasm, but he clearly takes after his father, though more as he was at the beginning of the first film; Alejandro and Elena spend much of the movie bickering and drunk on his part, but to be fair, most of this was due to her being blackmailed by the Pinkertons (who weren’t even called that in 1850); and I didn’t care for McGivens’s twisted quoting of Scripture to justify his wicked acts, but more faithful Christianity is still presented by the heroes, such as Alejandro’s heartfelt prayer in the church and a cross necklace saving the life of a priest. Thus, it may be a mixed bag, but it’s a mostly entertaining one.

Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are as appealing as ever, even when their characters aren’t, and I was impressed by Rufus Sewell as Count Armand since, before this, I had only seen him in the very different role of abolitionist Thomas Clarkson in Amazing Grace. Armand is intimidating, but Nick Chinlund plays a much more menacing villain in McGivens. Also, (Lost alert!) Michael Emerson, who went on to play the diabolical Ben Linus on my favorite show, appears as one of the Pinkertons wearing muttonchops.

The movie most excels at its action. It may not be as frequent as the previous films, but the fight scenes are wondrously choreographed, and the final showdown is a standout among train-related conclusions. Some of it can be downright ridiculous, like a horse jumping onto a moving train (though the horse’s reaction to what comes next is priceless), but the climactic explosion is truly spectacular. I was annoyed at several mentions of the “Confederate” states when the Confederacy had not been formed in 1850, but overall the film is not as bad as many critics made it out to be, so it really is a shame that there were no further Zorro sequels. Since Hollywood has been redoing just about every franchise lately, I’m sure they’ll get around to rebooting Zorro sooner or later, though I can’t see anyone else satisfactorily replacing the two leads.

Best line: (Joaquin, not knowing his father’s secret, after his father defeats a bunch of prison guards) “Where did you learn to do that?” (Alejandro) “Prison changes a man.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (violence and aforementioned issues): -2
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #226 – Forget Paris

© 2014 S. G. Liput

115 Followers and Counting

 

#230: X2: X-Men United (2003)

24 Saturday May 2014

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A teleporting mutant tries to kill the President,
Which makes them think all mutants maybe have the same intent.
A Colonel William Stryker gets the President to rule
That he can send a team into a certain mutant school.
 
Professor X, meanwhile, visits his magnetic foe
And learns that Stryker questioned the imprisoned Magneto.
It seems that Stryker has a drug that mutants can’t withstand.
Magneto stated everything the Colonel would demand.
 
As Cyclops and Xavier are being apprehended,
Professor X’s school is being raided and defended.
Though Stryker’s soldiers capture some before their blitz is seen,
They’re quickly overwhelmed when they encounter Wolverine.
 
Most kids succeed in getting out, but Logan tries to stay
For he remembers Stryker, although how he cannot say.
Yet Logan flees with Rogue and Bobby, her new icy beau,
As well as John, whose fire powers dub the lad Pyro.
 
Meanwhile, Storm and Jean are searching for the teleporter,
And find him very different from a mutant rights supporter.
A Catholic called Nightcrawler, he has no desire to kill
And was compelled to strike the President against his will.
 
When Wolverine and friends drive up to Bobby’s family,
His parents learn their son’s a mutant who can freeze their tea.
Police arrive and so does Jean to spirit them away
To locate Stryker’s fortress, but to missiles they fall prey.
 
They’re rescued by Magneto, whom Mystique had shrewdly freed,
And the foes combine their forces to prevent the villain’s deed.
For Stryker’s used his son to brainwash Charles with a show
That will make him kill all mutants with a copied Cerebro.
 
As the mutants make their way inside a dam, where lies his lair,
They split up to search the place and find opponents waiting there.
Once Wolverine remembers Stryker gave him metal claws,
He’s forced to fight his bodyguard while Stryker then withdraws.
 
Jean also battles Cyclops, who has been brainwashed as well,
While Nightcrawler and Storm save captured students from their cell.
Magneto finds Xavier and changes things a bit
So he will target humans with a worldwide mental hit.
 
Storm and Nightcrawler prevent this as Magneto gets away,
Taking Pyro as an ally who will fight another day.
Stryker’s injured and abandoned by the Wolverine he made,
And the good guys try escaping as the dam starts to cascade.
 
When the jet cannot lift off, Jean goes outside to help it rise
And aids her friends’ escape before her final sacrifice.
They fly to meet the President to tell him not to fear.
There is evil on both sides, but still the good is also near.
(They all think that Jean is gone, but there’s a chance she’ll reappear.)
____________________
 

Considering how much I love comic book movies, it may seem odd that all the X-Men films are fairly close together and rather low on my list. The X-Men are a memorable superhero team, but their world is one of very realistic strife, which, while timely, sometimes detracts from the fun of watching people with superpowers. They’re also more edgy and violent than Marvel’s other properties. Nevertheless, this sequel to the first X-Men is the best of the bunch with many layers to the plot and characters.

Director Bryan Singer pulls off an amazing balancing act as he crams so many characters into one film. There’s Professor X (Patrick Stewart), Magneto (Ian McKellan), Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), Storm (Halle Berry), Cyclops (James Marsden), Mystique (Rebecca Romijn), Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming), Rogue (Anna Paquin), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), Pyro (Aaron Stanford), Lady Deathstrike (Kelly Hu), and a sinister Brian Cox as the bad guy William Stryker. Compare this list with any other superhero film’s cast, and one cannot help but admire the skill it took to handle such an expansive and varied ensemble. While some stand out more than others, every character is given a scene to shine, from Wolverine’s awesome showdown with his female counterpart to Pyro’s flame assault to Jean’s climactic sacrifice. (For the record, Cyclops remains the least developed, having little personality other than his unremarkable relationship with Jean. The third film didn’t help that.)

The filmmakers also made some laudable decisions in what they included. Stryker was originally a mutant-hating reverend in the graphic novel God Loves, Man Kills, but they avoided religious demonizing by making him a rogue military man instead. Plus, religion actually gets a good word from Nightcrawler, who follows an inexplicable mention of angelic symbols from Gabriel with a praiseworthy defense of faith.

The movie admittedly feels very long, but it builds to a marvelous cliffhanger that made everyone look forward to the next film. That next film was X-Men: The Last Stand, which I consider one of the worst movies I’ve seen, offering extremely unsatisfying conclusions for three separate characters (though one has been resurrected for Days of Future Past). Needless to say, you won’t see Last Stand on this list, but X2 remains an impressive achievement among comic book films and the best X-Men film so far (though I’ll be seeing Days of Future Past soon).

Best line: (Nightcrawler) “Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.”
(Storm) “Sometimes anger can help you survive. “
(Nightcrawler) “So can faith.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #229 – Brave Little Toaster

© 2014 S. G. Liput

113 Followers and Counting