Tag Archives: Action

Surrogates (2009)

23 Friday May 2014

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How’d you like to be attractive,
Slick and bold but safe as well?
There are robots interactive
Which can help your life excel.
 
Since Dr. Lionel Canter first
Invented them some years ago,
These surrogates have been dispersed
And now make up the status quo.
 
Lying in your comfy bed,
You’ll see the world through different eyes,
But there are some who frankly “dread”
These rampant robots’ sudden rise.
 
When Canter’s son is having fun
In Canter’s surry late one night,
He’s murdered by an unknown gun
That gives police a wary fright.
 
There has never been a case
Where operators have been harmed.
The FBI is quick to trace
The murderer so gravely armed.
 
The savvy agent Thomas Greer
And partner Peters search as well.
They question too the pioneer
Of surrogates, who’s mad as hell.
 
At home, Greer’s always forced to shun
Cold Maggie, his now distant wife,
Who mourns the loss of their young son,
For surries are her only life.
 
The murderer is quickly found,
And Greer goes out to bring him in,
But his own surrogate is downed
By “dreads,” who think bots are a sin.
 
Tom then is left in his own skin
To find the weapon he had seen.
He doesn’t know how long it’s been
Since he went out with no machine.
 
Although he’s told to stay away,
He learns his boss helped plan to kill
Both Canter and those he can play
In roles his surrogates could fill.
 
Though Canter made these useful bots,
He now regrets this bad mistake.
They’ve changed both people’s lives and thoughts
And made it normal to be fake.
 
Pretending to be flesh and blood,
A bot of his began to lead
The “dreads” against the robot flood,
From which he claims man must be freed.
 
He was found out and targeted
By those who build his own creation.
Now he has the tool instead
To wipe out his abomination.
 
Canter hijacks Peters’ surry,
Using her and his device,
To reach his purpose in a hurry,
Wiping out man’s newest vice.
 
Greer attempts to stop his plan,
But Canter kills himself before.
Tom saves the users (since he can)
But lets the surries hit the floor.
 
The surrogates are useless now,
But Greer can hold his wife once more.
Through changes, life goes on somehow,
And things are as they were before.
____________________
 

It took me a while to finally see Surrogates, but I could tell from the trailers that I would probably like it, being an avid fan of science fiction. Turns out I was right. I think Surrogates is one of the best sci-fi films of recent years, and I am shocked at how many poor reviews it received. It has only a 39% on Rotten Tomatoes, and many critics called it “mindless” action with few deep thoughts. They must have seen a different film because I saw an amazingly multi-faceted commentary on the practical dangers scientific advancement can impart to mankind.

To be honest, the very idea of surrogacy, that of living an unconfined and painless life through an android controlled by one’s thoughts, is downright cool and is owed to a 2005-2006 comic book series on which the film is based. There are so many implications that are both futuristic and very timely in the present day. Some large, ugly man could walk around masquerading as a hot blond, just as many misrepresent themselves online, whether on forums or dating sites. The fact that people live their lives as machines protects them from disease and injury, but it cuts them off from human contact and the true experience of life. Most say this is better, but something is just wrong, much like Facebook somehow brings people closer and inundates them with “friends” while also keeping those “friends” at a distance. What’s more, the surrogates serve as cameras too, so that people’s lives are constantly under surveillance, mirroring the age-old security-versus-safety debate. As neat as it is that authorities can just shut down people’s bodies when they’re about to commit a crime, such power can also be used for harm, as it is at the end.

Much of the movie is spent on the characters and trying to make sense of the convoluted plot, so the action is far from pervasive. Still, it illustrates well the advantages of a surrogate in a fight and boasts one of the few car chases that can get away with ramming into pedestrians. (Don’t try this at home.)

Bruce Willis is a great lead as usual, handling both the action and the dramatic scenes with his wife with equal skill. I think it’s amazing how they made his surrogate self look so much younger, almost as he did in The Sixth Sense. The rest of the cast is good but unremarkable, except for the always masterful James Cromwell as Lionel Canter, creator of the surrogates. Since he played the inventor of the androids in I, Robot, perhaps he should do one more such film, and they can market all three as the James Cromwell robot trilogy.

Surrogates may not delve too deeply into the myriad social implications that it brings up, but their mere presence is enough to raise it above any “mindless” action film. Considering how quickly Facebook and Twitter have become a fixture in so many people’s lives, the opening scenes describing the rise of the surrogates is certainly plausible. It serves as a warning to embrace technological improvements with caution and discretion.

Best line (for all its astuteness, there aren’t that many good lines): “Look at yourselves. Unplug from your chairs, get up and look in the mirror. What you see is how God made you. We’re not meant to experience the world through a machine.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (some language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #230 – X2: X-Men United

© 2014 S. G. Liput

113 Followers and Counting

 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

22 Thursday May 2014

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In 1957, we see Indiana Jones
Surrounded by a band of Russian guards.
Their head Irina Spalko’s fascinated by unknowns
And sure that she is holding all the cards.
 
Within a desert warehouse, Jones is told to find a box
With strange magnetic properties he’d spied.
He does so but escapes aboard a rocket he unlocks
After Mac, his partner, joins the other side.
 
He hides inside a fridge from an atomic bombing test
And then is questioned by the FBI.
A motorcycle boy named Mutt then gives Jones a request
And a letter with a riddle he can try.
 
Mutt’s mother and one Oxley, a professor and a friend,
Were kidnapped and are being held somewhere.
When Jones finds out Peru is where their trail appears to end,
The greaser and the teacher travel there.
 
They follow Oxley’s notes, which lead them to a crystal skull,
And both are caught, and Spalko is to blame.
The Russians captured Oxley, who is now insane and dull,
And Mutt’s mom Marion (of Raiders fame).
 
When Spalko gives to Jones a glimpse of what the skull can do,
She has him show her forces where it leads.
When stuck in quicksand, Marion says Mutt is his son too,
The product of his debonair past deeds.
 
The good guys get out from their bonds and from a truck bed’s walls
And start a long and thrilling jungle chase
Involving fencing, monkeys, ants, and three big waterfalls,
And Jones and friends are first to reach the place.
 
They run into some natives, but the skull has them adjourn,
And soon they’ve found an ancient room of thrones.
A ring of crystal skeletons awaits the skull’s return,
But Spalko does the deed instead of Jones.
 
The creatures then reward her with much more than she can take,
And Jones and friends escape while they still can.
A spinning portal opens, and the earth begins to quake,
And Mac regrets his greed when this began.
 
The aliens retreat into the space between all spaces,
And Jones, Mutt, Ox, and Marion remain.
Both Jones and Marion marry, and the wedded pair embraces.
Now maybe life can finally be mundane?
___________________
 

The first Indiana Jones movie on my list turns out to be the last one released and the one with the most mixed reviews. Many have mocked Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to no end for its absurd contrivances, Shia LaBeouf’s casting as potentially the next Indiana Jones, and that silly scene in which they “nuked the fridge,” which has joined “jumped the shark” as a way to describe the moment when a series or franchise goes too far. Yes, it’s not perfect and not quite on par with its predecessors, but Crystal Skull remains an entertaining return for everyone’s favorite archaeologist.

Let’s not lie: Harrison Ford is old, and his scenes of direct physical combat are a bit unconvincing, but he’s still Indiana Jones and is a good foil for the youthful Mutt Williams, just as Sean Connery was for Ford in The Last Crusade. I thought it noteworthy that, for all his sleeping around, Indiana Jones actually had a son. Just imagine how many kids James Bond may have out there. It was certainly enjoyable to welcome back Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, and most of the other actors fill their roles well, from John Hurt as Harold Oxley to Ray Winstone as Mac and especially Cate Blanchett as Spalko, whom I always think of when I see a similar hairstyle. (Lost alert!) I should also mention that Alan Dale, who played Charles Widmore on my favorite show, has a brief role as a general defending Indy against accusations of treason.

Like the reviews, the plot itself is mixed. It has moments that strain any form of credulity (the fridge scene, Mutt’s Tarzan-style monkey attack) alongside moments of near brilliance (that whole jungle fight/chase is the best part of the movie). I can go from cringing at a creepy graveyard scene to laughing at how the characters somehow stay in the truck going over two waterfalls (they fall out by the third). It hits all the familiar beats that we would expect from an Indiana Jones film, from dangerous booby traps to the requisite creepy crawlies, giant ants in this case. Whatever some may think of it, it’s entertaining without a doubt.

Do I want to see another Indiana Jones film? Maybe. As with most things, it depends what they might do with it. The end of this one seemed like a letdown to my VC, but I suppose it’s a fitting “retirement” for the famous adventurer. Crystal Skull may be the lowest of the Indiana Jones films on my list, but it’s certainly an exciting ride for anyone not in the mood to nitpick.

Best line (mirroring a better one from Raiders of the Lost Ark): (Mutt) “What’s he gonna do now?” (Marion) “I don’t think he plans that far ahead.”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 9
Other (silly plot points and some minor language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #231 – Surrogates

© 2014 S. G. Liput

113 Followers and Counting

 

Shenandoah (1965)

21 Wednesday May 2014

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The Civil War is raging; there’s gunfire in the air,
But farmer Charlie Anderson insists he doesn’t care.
His six sons and one daughter and one daughter-in-law too
May disagree to some extent but never follow through.
 
They love the stubborn patriarch, who goes to service late,
And he loves all his family, but troubles soon await.
He’s urged to join the fighting for Virginia’s stately pride,
But since this war is not his own, he stays off either side.
 
When Sam, a soldier, courts his only daughter nervously,
He talks with him and lets them wed, which fills the pair with glee.
As soon as they are married, Sam is called away to fight,
Which leaves his wife despondent, still arrayed in bridal white.
 
When Charlie’s youngest son is on a coon hunt with a friend,
They come upon Confederates, who meet a bloody end,
And since the Boy is wearing a gray cap that he had found,
The Union takes him prisoner but leaves his pal unbound.
 
The black friend runs to tell his pa, and Charlie is upset.
He takes five of his children on a trip they won’t forget.
They leave behind son James, his wife, and Martha, their new baby,
To watch the farm till they return with Charlie’s youngest—maybe.
 
The closest Union leader doubts that Charlie will succeed.
There are far too many prisoners to find one Boy in need.
The Andersons decide to stop a loaded prison train.
They locate Sam, but not the Boy, and further search in vain.
 
Meanwhile, Charlie’s Boy joins with Confederates who flee.
They hide a bit but soon are caught in battle suddenly.
A friend assists the wounded Boy and helps him to escape.
Back on the farm, though, James is killed and his wife suffers rape.
 
Still hunting for the youngest boy, the searchers hear a gun.
A sleepy soldier takes a shot and kills the eldest son.
Though Charlie is heartbroken and does not claim to forgive,
He sees the soldier is a boy and lets the young man live.
 
Returning home, they learn the news, but Martha’s fine and fed.
Affected by the war at last, poor Charlie mourns his dead.
He nonetheless still goes to church, where one loss is restored.
He reunites with his dear Boy, and all sing to the Lord.
 
___________________
 

Having lived in the Shenandoah Valley, I typically enjoy films set in this gorgeous region of the Appalachians, and Shenandoah doesn’t disappoint. Jimmy Stewart gives a memorable performance as Charlie Anderson, a much more angry and bitter role for him than usual. Instead of the idealism of Jefferson Smith or George Bailey, Anderson evokes vicious protectiveness, dogged determination, and stubborn values. (That last one is common to his other roles, though.) He’s definitely the star, and his masterful acting, combined with the excellent script, raises the film above most war films of the 1960s.

While most of the sons aren’t really given a personality, the three with larger roles certainly earn audience sympathy as terrible things happen to them, particularly the Boy, played by Phillip Alford (Jem from To Kill a Mockingbird). The film is also notable for introducing Rosemary Forsyth and Katharine Ross (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), who both play strong female characters. Additionally, it features Dabbs Greer (Reverend Alden) and Kevin Hagen (Doc Baker) from Little House on the Prairie, the latter of whom has a much darker role than his more familiar TV persona.

The battle scenes are well-executed and largely bloodless, though one character receives a surprising (but not gory) shot to the head. Laudably, the film unfairly demonizes neither the Confederates nor the Union, showing good and bad on both sides. Instead, it serves as a critique on war and how it affects everyone negatively, even those who want no part of it, anticipating future backlash against the Vietnam War.

Jimmy Stewart makes the film, and the intense emotions sparked by his losses, coupled with his kindly and insightful wisdom about the ways of women, make his character well-rounded and admirable. The film might have been a complete downer, but the final scene ends it on a touching high note (literally).

Best line: (Charlie, to his dead wife Martha) “I don’t even know what to say to you any more, Martha. There’s not much I can tell you about this war. It’s like all wars, I guess. The undertakers are winning. And the politicians who talk about the glory of it. And the old men who talk about the need of it. And the soldiers, well, they just wanna go home.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 6
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #232 – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

© 2014 S. G. Liput

111 Followers and Counting

 

 

The River Wild (1994)

19 Monday May 2014

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Though Gail, a Boston mom and wife,
Is having doubts on married life,
Her husband Tom is fixed on work
And seems to Roarke, their son, a jerk.
A birthday trip for Roarke out west
For river rafting has a guest
When Tom then brings work with him there
To show his family he does care.
 
They meet two men named Wade and Terry,
Who seem friendly, nice, and merry.
As work distracts, Tom still offends,
While Wade and Roarke become good friends.
But, as they paddle down the river,
Wade starts giving Gail a shiver.
 
When Gail and Tom have had enough,
They try to flee with all their stuff,
But Roarke is clueless as to why
And lets Wade catch them ere they fly.
They see Gail’s plan so Wade and Terry
Turn into villains, mean and scary.
 
They robbed an auction, and their scheme
Involves escaping far downstream.
They lost their guide so Gail, they knew,
Would have to get them safely through.
Wade shoots at their dog, who’s quick to run,
And ties them down, armed with a gun.
 
As hostages aboard the raft,
The trio can’t escape the craft,
But one night, Tom is forced to flee
And gets away quite narrowly.
He runs ahead past rabid falls
And sets a trap ‘twixt canyon walls.
 
Though Gail attempts to gain release,
The duo need her expertise.
The deadly Gauntlet lies ahead
And causes her continued dread.
Through swirling rapids kept taboo,
Gale guides them as they paddle through.
 
The other side sees Tom’s trap sprung,
And in the water, all are flung.
Gail gets the gun, and, once he’s pled,
Wade gives her cause to shoot him dead.
The cops are called to fetch the men,
And Gail and Tom are close again.
__________________
 

I first saw The River Wild more recently than most of the films on my list, and it’s one of those movies that surprised me as being much better than I expected. Meryl Streep gives a less acclaimed but no less brilliant performance as distressed mother Gail, who matches wits, if not muscle, with two violent thieves. (Plus, she had to learn sign language and rafting skills and did most of her own stunts.) Kevin Bacon is equally well-cast in a villainous role, and both earned Golden Globe nominations for their roles. Though he doesn’t actually carry out a violent act until near the end, he gives every indication that he would not hesitate in the slightest. He may not be the most memorable of villains, but he is bad. Just imagine if he had superpowers or something (see X-Men: First Class). John C. Reilly as Terry and Joseph Mazzello (Jurassic Park) as Roarke also fill their roles well, and this is now the fourth David Strathairn (Tom) film on my list; you’ll see him again.

The Montana/Oregon scenery is really spectacular, and, aside from the tension Wade brings to the party, the rafting scenes are true highlights, particularly the final running of the Gauntlet. Having gone rafting with my dad down the Nantahala River in North Carolina, I know how thrilling it can be, and this film gives a taste of it for those who perhaps haven’t experienced it themselves.

Many criticized the film for its predictability and lack of credibility, such as when Tom outruns the raft down the rushing river, and, while these complaints have some credence, it doesn’t detract from the movie as a whole. It’s an entertaining ride that rushes along nicely and even manages a laudable endorsement of sticking with a difficult marriage early on.

Best line: (Gail, to Roarke at the beginning of the trip) “You’re gonna scream your guts out, you’ll be so happy.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (some language): -3
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #234 – The Artist

© 2014 S. G. Liput

108 Followers and Counting

 

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

16 Friday May 2014

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When Jared and Simon and Mallory Grace
Move into their great-aunt’s old house,
They are not all pleased with this ominous place
And hear scurrying (not a mouse).
 
Their great-aunt Lucinda went nuts here, they say,
Thinking faeries and goblins were real,
And Jared is eager to leave the next day,
But his family’s less than ideal.
 
He’s mad at his mother for leaving his dad,
But he’s not aware of it all.
When they cannot locate possessions they had,
They find them concealed in the wall.
 
The others aren’t curious; young Jared, though,
Ascends to the attic to look.
He finds a strange field guide composed long ago
With a warning to not read the book.
 
He does and thus enters a world full of faeries,
Disguised and unseen in our own.
He learns this collection of entities varies
From friendly to bad to the bone.
 
He placates the brownie whose nest they revealed
And talks to this small Thimbletack.
He learns there’s a circle that acts as a shield
To keep ogre Mulgarath back.
 
But Simon is kidnapped by goblins outside,
And Jared runs after his bro.
They flee to the circle that guards the field guide,
And Mallory battles the foe.
 
Besieged by the goblins, they try to sneak out
To visit their Aunt Spiderwick.
They talk to Lucinda and ask her about
How best to resolve this, and quick.
 
She tells them that Arthur, her father, who wrote
The field guide, is living somehow.
The faeries have kept him, Lucinda does note,
So they must find Spiderwick now.
 
Astride his pet griffin, they find where he’s been,
But he cannot much help their plight.
So all the Grace children, unsure if they’ll win,
Return for a battle that night.
 
Convincing their mother that faeries exist,
They all plan to fight the foes back.
Since Mulgarath has a guide page to assist,
He strips off their shield to attack.
 
They come through the windows; they come through the floors.
They’re fought with tomatoes and steel.
The Graces do well, being new to such wars,
And melt all the goblins with zeal.
 
When Mulgarath tries to deceive with a trick,
It’s Jared that sees through a goof.
The ogre demands the book by Spiderwick
And chases the boy to the roof.
 
A strength of the ogre’s becomes his demise,
And now that he’s gone, all is calm.
Though he wished to leave, Jared’s come to realize
He’d much rather stay with his mom.
 
The Graces bring home Aunt Lucinda to stay,
But Spiderwick visits his love.
She leaves with her father when he goes away,
And all’s back to normal—sort of.
______________
 

What a coincidence that the day my family moves into a new older home, I watch The Spiderwick Chronicles, a fantasy that begins just so! Based on the book series by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black, the film makes shrewd decisions about what to include, what to drop, and what to alter. The film is fairly faithful to the first book, The Field Guide, as well as the second The Seeing Stone. Lucinda’s Secret and The Wrath of Mulgarath are modified considerably to better fit into the plotline, while the fourth book, The Ironwood Tree, is dropped entirely since it didn’t really add that much to the book series either. Films based on books can either be huge hits due to their faithfulness (The Hunger Games films) or quality (The Lord of the Rings), but, if they are lacking in either respect, they can bomb and never earn enough to garner a sequel (Eragon, Inkheart). The Spiderwick Chronicles falls squarely in the middle of the pack, yet, even though it revises many elements from the books, it has the right tone and overall quality to make it enchanting and entertaining for both fans of the series and non-fans alike.

Freddie Highmore is excellent, as usual, playing twins, the learned Simon, who doesn’t “do conflict,” and Jared, who (apparently not having seen The Mummy) thinks that no harm could come from reading a book. Sarah Bolger, known for playing Mary Tudor on The Tudors, exhibits the right amount of sibling disdain as Mallory, and Mary-Louise Parker is instantly sympathetic as their mother Helen. David Strathairn and Joan Plowright as Arthur and Lucinda Spiderwick round out the human cast with their acting prowess. The voice actors are equally well-cast, from Martin Short as Thimbletack (who doesn’t rhyme as frequently as he should) to Seth Rogen as Hogsqueal and Nick Nolte as Mulgarath.

Upon its release, The Spiderwick Chronicles was criticized for using so much CGI, but I think it’s used judiciously for the most part. The close-up of Jared throwing the Seeing Stone to Mallory wasn’t necessary, but ultimately, the griffin ride was the only scene in which the filmmakers threw in special effects just to show off what they could do. Everything else is used to awesome or scary effect, as is the fitting James Horner score. The final battle in the house is especially thrilling (considering it wasn’t shown in the book), though it’s also surprisingly intense for a Nickelodeon movie, with goblin arms being chopped off and heads melting and so forth. It’s great spectacle, though Mulgarath’s dialogue consists almost entirely of ”Give me the book” over and over again.

Just as the film version of Eragon made one notably welcome addition to the story in having Brom die astride Saphira, this movie improves the final moment between Arthur Spiderwick and Lucinda. Rather than have him just turn to dust like in the books, they are both taken by the faeries to live together forever. It’s much more touching and ends the movie on a high note of poignancy.

The Spiderwick Chronicles indicates there are fantastic things unseen in this world of ours; I haven’t seen any brownies in my house yet, but I’ll keep an eye out. (Maybe I’ll just make some of the chocolate kind.)

Best line: (truck driver, after running over a troll) “Oh, my God! Did I hit someone?” (Jared) “Yes! Thank you!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
Other (some violence): -2
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #237 – Unbreakable

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

14 Wednesday May 2014

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Spock is dead; I’m sure you’ve heard.
He gave his life to save the ship.
His crew sent him to Genesis
And started on their homeward trip.
 
But Kirk and friends regret their loss,
Until McCoy starts acting weird.
It seems he has Spock’s “katra” (soul),
And loss of sanity is feared.
 
Spock’s father says Kirk needs to find
Spock’s body, both of them to save.
So Kirk and faithful crew hijack
The Enterprise, their futures grave.
 
Meanwhile, David, Kirk’s own son,
And Vulcan Saavik both explore
The planet Genesis produced,
Which isn’t perfect anymore.
 
They locate Spock, alive and young
And aging with the fluxing sphere,
But hostile Klingons blow their ship
And take the trio hostage here.
 
Kirk arrives and has a standoff
With the Klingon captain, bad.
The villain then has David killed,
And Kirk is saddened, shocked, and mad.
 
He leaves the damaged Enterprise
To let the Klingon party board
But lets his favorite ship explode
To kill most of the Klingon horde.
 
Kirk’s crew gets on the enemy’s ship
While Kirk and Klingon duke it out.
When Kirk has had enough of him,
Incineration ends the bout.
 
Escaping on the Klingon vessel,
Kirk and Spock and all their friends
See the planet blow up too,
And Project Genesis thus ends.
 
They take McCoy and Spock at last
To Vulcan for a mystic rite.
Spock remembers little, but
His friends are glad he’s back now, quite.
__________________
 

As the first Star Trek film on my list, Search for Spock is certainly not the worst of the original franchise. Two worse installments didn’t make the cut (those who have seen them will know which two), but, of the Trek movies commonly regarded as good, this one is the least impressive. That’s not to say that it is a poor film; it’s a great adventure that brings back one of the most beloved ensembles of all time for an answer to the question “What happens when you kill off the second most important character?” Answer: You resurrect him through an unexplained experiment and alien mumbo-jumbo.

It’s not just a way to continue the series by backstepping on a fateful move (to kill off Spock), it also is the tragic conclusion of Kirk’s meeting his son in Wrath of Khan. David’s death has got to be the second most poignant moment for the original series crew and continued to haunt Kirk right up to their last film. Search for Spock also marked the first time the Enterprise itself met its demise. When my mother originally saw it in the theater, during the scene where the ship starts dipping into the atmosphere, she overheard a nearby fanboy utter a devastated “Nooo.” At least they built a new one, right?

Aside from the main cast, Christopher Lloyd turns in an uncharacteristically villainous role as Kruge, the Klingon captain, who is pretty generic, to be honest, lacking a master plan or a deep-seated motive like the villains in The Undiscovered Country or Wrath of Khan. He does manage surprising intensity that proves he could do much more than humorous or crazy roles.

My quibbles here may indicate that I dislike Search for Spock, but, if that was the case, I wouldn’t have it this high on the list. I love Star Trek, and, as Trek films go, it’s in the middle of the pack, so to speak. The visual effects range from mildly impressive explosions to realistic miniatures. It’s exciting and heart-tugging, and, though the Vulcan ceremony at the end drags, the line “Your name is…Jim” concludes the film on a high note. Leonard Nimoy can be proud of it as its director (but The Voyage Home is better. Just saying.)

Best line: (Scotty, after sabotaging a fancy new ship) “Aye, sir. The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #238 – The Spiderwick Chronicles

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

#240 – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

13 Tuesday May 2014

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When Robin of Locksley returns as a team
With a Moor with a life debt to him named Azeem,
He finds England’s changed while he fought the Crusades.
He finds his home unsafe for children and maids.
 
He kills several bullies and lets a few scram,
Which angers the Sheriff who rules Nottingham.
When Robin finds out his estranged father’s dead,
He promises vengeance on this Sheriff’s head.
 
Azeem and a blind aide named Duncan attend
While Robin attempts to go visit a friend.
Maid Marian isn’t much pleased he’s alive,
Especially when Sheriff’s soldiers arrive.
 
To flee, Robin rides to the forest Sherwood,
A place that’s not haunted, just misunderstood.
He meets several bandits but doesn’t once quiver
And earns their respect with some dunks in the river.
 
He leads this small party of woodsmen to fight
And robs every wagon that comes within sight.
The Sheriff is shipping out many a bribe,
But all his gold’s stolen by Robin Hood’s tribe.
 
The outlaw gains friends and support for his pluck,
Including Maid Marian and Friar Tuck,
But Will Scarlet sends him derision galore,
While that evil Sheriff hates him ever more.
 
The Sheriff of Nottingham hires some Celts
To lay siege to Robin and everyone else.
He captures a number of men, even Will,
And plans out a nice public method to kill.
 
In order to marry Maid Marian too,
And merit the throne with her blood, which is blue,
He says he will spare a few bound for the noose
If she will soon wed him, despite his abuse.
 
The Sheriff sends Will, who he thinks is a traitor,
To find Robin’s whereabouts sooner or later,
But Will yields to Robin that he’s his half-brother,
The son of his father and some other mother.
 
While Robin is shocked, the two men make their peace
And plan the best way for the captives’ release.
Azeem gives them gunpowder; John gives them swords.
They infiltrate slyly the castle of lords.
 
Though there are some hiccups, they save everyone,
And Robin soon has Nottingham on the run.
The villain tries marrying Marian, while
Azeem and the archer are locked in the aisle.
 
When Robin breaks in, the two foes have their duel,
And Robin prevails o’er the Sheriff so cruel.
Azeem saves his life, thus repaying his debt,
And everyone’s rescued from Nottingham’s threat.
 
Once they are all done saving lives thrillingly,
Both Robin and Marian wed (willingly).
King Richard himself (someone very well-known)
Thanks Robin of Locksley for saving his throne.
___________________
 

Having seen it recently, I’d say Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves probably deserves a higher place on my list. It is not only a highly entertaining medieval romp but also my favorite cinematic version of the Robin Hood story. Removing King John entirely from the story and mixing up some relationships to make them tragically Shakespearean, the filmmakers created a film that is at once exciting, funny, romantic, and now and then stunning.

Kevin Costner is appropriately heroic and likable as Robin Hood, though his lack of English accent is a major inaccuracy to my mind, and Morgan Freeman turns in another spot-on performance as his Moorish companion Azeem. After spending so much time underwater in The Abyss, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio decided to go with an easier role as the lovely Maid Marian, who manages to be both a strong fighter and a damsel in distress. The most striking role goes to Alan Rickman, who perfectly embodies the villainy of the Sheriff of Nottingham, though, unlike Hans Gruber from Die Hard, most of Rickman’s scenes here carry a strange dichotomy of wickedness and humor. Also, you’ve got to love that cameo at the end.

I suppose a major reason I like Prince of Thieves is its balance. It doesn’t typecast its characters, or at least only minimally. The atrocities of the Muslims during the Crusades are shown during an early scene, but Azeem proves to be likable, loyal, and highly learned compared with the English. Similarly, the Bishop of Hereford is shown to be greedy and treacherous, but faithful Christianity is also extolled, though less strongly. Robin’s initial thanks to God upon returning home is a good example of this; Friar Tuck’s drunkenness, not so much.

Though Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is certainly violent, most acts of carnage are left offscreen or hidden with skillful cuts away from bloody wounds. Language is also minimal, though they threw in a lone F-bomb that surprised me greatly. Despite these elements, the film has able, if occasionally over-the-top acting; a number of good one-liners; gorgeous scenery; and a memorably majestic score by Michael Kamen. (If you’ve ever watched the opener for a Disney DVD, you’ve already heard it.) Also, Bryan Adams’s Oscar-nominated “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” surely deserves a place in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. It’s a perfect romantic wrap-up to a great movie, one of my VC’s favorites.

Best line: (blind Duncan, not having seen Azeem) “Curse those Moors and Saracens. If it wasn’t for their ungodly ways, Master Robin would never have left. What manner of name is Azeem? Scottish, Cornish?”  (Azeem, up close) “Moorish.” (Duncan’s reaction is priceless!)

VC’s Best Line: (Azeem, after foiling an ambush) “No man controls my destiny… especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 8
Other (violence, languages, etc.): -4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #239 – Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (I’m moving this week so I may be delayed)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

The Abyss (1989)

09 Friday May 2014

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When a nuclear submarine sinks to a perilous depth,
The U. S. decides to send down a SEAL team for rescue.
A hurricane is coming, so time is just not on their side;
Therefore, they commission an undersea oil rig crew.
 
The hard-nosed designer named Lindsey goes down with the SEALS
To keep tabs on them and Bud Brigman, her soon-to-be ex.
While Bud and his oil rig team don’t appreciate this,
They’ll all be paid well for this most dangerous of projects.
 
They move the rig close to a seemingly bottomless trench
With orders from Coffey, the SEALs’ leading pain in the neck.
They find the huge vessel with everyone in it deceased
When divers and subs journey out to examine the wreck.
 
One big guy named Jammer freaks out from the sub full of corpses
And falls in a coma as storm winds above start to blow.
Then Coffey gets orders to reclaim a nuke from the sub,
Which causes some unforeseen problems for all down below.
 
The hurricane destroys a large crane from a ship up above,
Which nearly drags down the whole oil rig into the pit.
They suffer some losses, but Lindsey believes that she saw
A strange glowing thing, yet everyone’s doubtful of it.
 
First Lindsey, then everyone gets a good look at these beings,
Which somehow control ocean water from deep in that void.
But Coffey, who’s suffering from pressure sickness, believes
They’re Russians or some hostile species that must be destroyed.
 
He arms the small nuke to send down to the yawning abyss
And locks down the rig, putting everyone into harm’s way.
When Jammer wakes up, he helps free all his friends from their jail,
And Bud and a pal try to stop Coffey’s mad power play.
 
They battle in subs, but the bomb swims away to the trench,
And Coffey soon follows, imploding while plummeting down.
When Lindsey and Bud are then stranded in their sinking sub,
Bud swims to the rig in a suit while poor Lindsey must drown.
 
Bud next resurrects her, and “drowns” in a way of his own.
To disarm the bomb, he must enter the endless abyss.
He has to breathe liquid with oxygen as he descends,
Which helps him adjust to the pressure, the worst part of this.
 
He sinks ever deeper and locates the bomb to disarm.
He does so, but knows he cannot make it back to the rig.
He types his goodbyes till an alien creature swims by
And carries him off to the mother ship, looming quite big.
 
They give him some air and then show him a TV of sorts,
Depicting the rumors of war on the surface above.
They have the control to destroy man with giant tsunamis,
But let us survive based on Bud’s show of unselfish love.
 
Bud contacts the rig, letting everyone know he’s alive,
And warns them to brace for their newest acquaintance from space.
The mother ship rises and lifts the whole rig to the surface,
Where Lindsey and Bud share a thrilled reuniting embrace.
_______________________
 

Coming on the heels of The Terminator and Aliens, James Cameron’s The Abyss was a much more ambitious project, with over half of the nearly three-hour film being shot underwater. For those who don’t know, my poem and review are for the extended version of The Abyss, which includes a half hour of additional scenes and a better-explained ending than the original 1989 version. These scenes give greater detail to various relationships and a more full understanding of the finale, which explains why the alternate version has largely replaced the original.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio stars in what I consider her best role as the hardheaded rig designer Lindsey, and Ed Harris is similarly fantastic as her irritated husband Bud. Their relationship is the most intimate and personable, and little touches such as Bud’s wedding ring saving his life add a lot to their characters. Michael Biehn is increasingly wild-eyed as the impaired SEAL Coffey, but these three are the only fleshed-out characters in the film. While the extended version helps, the rest of the crew are pretty much just a collection of eccentricities. Their names don’t really stick like their actions or appearance, making them just “the tall coma guy,” “the black sub lady,” “the conspiracy guy with the rat,” and “the guy who looks like a truck driver.”

Regardless of the lack of secondary character development, the Oscar-winning special effects are often extraordinary, especially considering when it was released. The set pieces involving the crane and the submarine fight are truly impressive and kept me on the edge of my seat. The NTIs (Non-Terrestrial Intelligence) are also well-realized creatures that are kept out of sight for most of the film, and the grand score by the great Alan Silvestri creates tension and mystery, though less scarily than in Aliens.

Weak points include the language and the ending. Even with the extended climax, with an anti-war message foreshadowing that of Cameron’s Avatar, the end is overlong and rather convenient. The NTIs’ benevolence in light of Bud’s sacrifice carries an important and touching message, but it’s a tad hokey as well. Without the anti-war elements, the end made even less sense and drew the bulk of critics’ ire. Also, while the F-words are minimal, The Abyss has quite a bit of profanity and other bad language, plus some non-sexual nudity, so a cut version is definitely preferred in my house.

I’ve heard that, with all the safety issues and long shoots required, Cameron and the actors did not enjoy making The Abyss at all. It may have been hard on them, but it gave Cameron some experience shooting with water, preparing him for Titanic, and it gave us an excellent sci-fi thriller.

Best line: (Bud) “Hippy, you think everything is a conspiracy.” (Hippy) “Everything is.”

VC’s best line (one she has reused many times since): (Bud) “I’m comin’, I’m comin’. Geez, keep your pantyhose on.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, nudity, and overlong ending): -8
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #241 – Sister Act

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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X-Men (2000)

06 Tuesday May 2014

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Mankind is evolving, I hear,
To mutants with powers unclear.
This world on the brink
Doesn’t know what to think,
But most are responding with fear.
 
Young Rogue is disturbed by the fact
That she cannot have human contact.
Those touching her skin
Are then sapped from within,
Often causing a harmful impact.
 
She flees to the North’s wilderness,
And watches a man have success
On the cage-fighting scene;
He is called Wolverine
And has long metal claws that impress.
 
The pair is attacked in the snow
By a Sabretooth man they don’t know.
They are rescued by two
Mutant patriots, who
Take them both far away from the foe.
 
Wolverine (also Logan) awakes
In a school built for mutant kids’ sakes.
He is urged by Jean Grey,
A smart psychic, to stay,
But flees until told of the stakes.
 
Professor Xavier founded
This school for young mutants, surrounded
By those who have banned
What they don’t understand,
Which may provoke hatred unbounded.
 
The metal-controlling kingpin
Magneto wants mutants to win.
He threatens mankind
With the team he’s combined;
His latest plan’s due to begin.
 
His shape-shifting henchgirl Mystique
Nabs Kelly, who’s known to critique.
A machine in a tower
Magneto can power
Mutates Kelly into a freak.
 
Magneto kidnaps Rogue as well,
For reasons they can’t at first tell.
Then, after debate,
They fear he’ll mutate
World leaders and their personnel.
 
Once Kelly is dead from the change,
A death both horrific and strange,
They fly to New York,
Where Magneto’s at work
To metamorphose all in range.
 
The Statue of Liberty sees
Some tense and hard-fought victories.
The good mutants halt
The bad mutants’ assault
Through metal claws, lasers, and breeze.
 
Though Rogue nearly dies from the load,
Magneto’s machine they explode.
He’s captured and jailed,
But Mystique escapes, veiled,
And Logan gets back on the road.
____________________
 

X-Men was one of the first superhero movies of the new millennium, and it reinvigorated the genre, leading to ever greater comic book films since. As the beginning of this new string of superhero blockbusters, it’s less spectacular and ambitious than more recent films but brought enough memorable characters to the screen to warrant three sequels, a prequel, and a reboot (see three posts ago).

Some characters are perfectly cast, including Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellan as Magneto; others are respectable enough and given room to grow in sequels, such as Famke Janssen as Jean Grey, James Marsden as Cyclops, and Anna Paquin as Rogue; and, as typical of films stuffed with characters, some are just space fillers for fight scenes, namely Halle Berry as Storm and Magneto’s two lackeys Sabretooth and Toad. The best character, though, goes to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, a role that continues to define his career to this year. My VC and I thought it would typecast him as the tough guy with claws, but his recent performance in Les Miserables showed how versatile an actor he is. (Cool fact: Russell Crowe, who starred with Jackman in Les Mis, was the original choice for Wolverine. That would have been…interesting.) Wolverine and Rogue offer the bulk of the character development, but the two old English actors do wonders with less central roles.

Having seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I wish there were some indication that Wolverine and Sabretooth knew each other and were in fact half-brothers. (I know Logan wouldn’t remember, but the most Sabretooth/Victor Creed does is pick up Logan’s dog tags. Also, since Sabretooth had Wolverine’s healing powers, his supposed demise shouldn’t really have killed him.)

The special effects are just good, not stupendous or awe-inspiring like other superhero films, and the writing ranges from thought-provoking to cheesy (Storm’s line upon beating Toad is one of the lamest I’ve ever heard). Joss Whedon wrote an initial script that was mostly rejected, but I think it’s notable that he was involved at the beginning of the superhero craze, as well as directing its culmination in The Avengers. X-Men offers a great ensemble, some inside jokes, and an ending wide open for more installments. Now, fourteen years later, we’re awaiting the hopefully awesome Days of Future Past so it’s only fair to give credit to the film that started it all.

Best line: (Rogue) “You know, you should wear your seat belt.” (Wolverine) “Now look, kid, I don’t need advice on auto…” (Boom—Logan’s truck crashes)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (some language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #244 – Sheffey

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

03 Saturday May 2014

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Long before ol’ Wolverine
Met Professor X’s team,
Long before young Rogue and Jean
And Cyclops fought Magneto’s scheme,
There was Erik Lehnsherr.
He saw an evil man named Shaw
Shoot his mother as a test
Of his response to what he saw,
Violent, yes, but it impressed
And sparked a misadventure.
 
Psychic Charles Xavier
Grew up with Raven (soon Mystique).
Close as siblings, these two were,
Even though she was a freak,
Hiding with disguises.
Moira, with the CIA,
Is searching for a fishy clue.
She perceives, to her dismay,
Shaw and other mutants, who
Present some new surprises.
 
She and Charles then present
Mutants to the CIA,
Concerning them to some extent,
But one man gives them his okay.
Soon they’re at a base.
Apprehending Shaw and friends
Doesn’t go as they had planned,
Yet, as their encounter ends,
Erik tries to make his stand
To kill Shaw and give chase.
 
Vengeance has to wait a bit.
Charles and fierce Erik meet;
Friendship soon grows out of it
As they get back on their feet.
Soon they are recruiting.
Finding mutants left and right,
Both soon have a young, new team.
Shaw attacks one fateful night,
Claiming mutants are supreme.
There’s much death and shooting.
 
Charles’s home is where they flee
To train and exercise each gift.
Erik helps Mystique to see
Her “beauty,” which provokes a rift
Between both Charles and her.
Shaw and friends are planning, though,
To start the Cuban Missile Crisis,
Forcing an uneasy show
Of rival nuclear devices.
World war may occur.
 
Charles and his mutant team
Fly to Cuba in a jet.
All of them defeat Shaw’s scheme
By extinguishing a threat.
Shaw is soon exposed.
As the good guys fight the bad,
Flying, beaming to and fro,
Shaw taunts Erik, who is mad,
And takes vengeance on his foe.
Shaw is now deposed.
 
Erik quickly has Shaw’s minions
And attempts to prove his power.
Charles has diverse opinions
And stops Erik in his hour.
Erik brings him pain.
Charles’s legs are paralyzed,
But he founds his mutant school,
Which he knows must be disguised.
Erik, though, has plans to rule
And starts his own campaign.
_________________
 

X-Men: First Class offers a compelling look at Professor X and Magneto in their youth. The beginning and straining of their friendship are the backbone of the film, and James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr do an excellent job as younger versions of the roles previously embodied by Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Other roles are either well-cast (Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy/Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique) or pretty flat and just an excuse for cool special effects (Zoe Kravitz as Angel, January Jones as Emma Frost). Kevin Bacon is decent, though not particularly memorable, as the villain Sebastian Shaw, though his comeuppance is both gruesome and well-deserved.

One thing that somewhat bothers me is the way this film fits in with the original X-Men films and the comics. There are references to the previous movies, such as the father of Colonel William Stryker from X2 and the opening scene of young Erik in the concentration camp. Yet, now that we know that Beast and Mystique were attracted to each other and especially that Charles and Mystique grew up together, I must ask why there was no indication of this in the first three films. Plus, there’s that big eyebrow-raiser in the horrible third movie: the scene in which Patrick Stewart’s Charles is seen walking, even though his paralysis is shown to have happened here when he was young. Who knows? In addition, Alex Summer/Havoc is the younger brother of Scott Summers/Cyclops in the comics, yet the filmmakers threw him in First Class (as perhaps Scott’s father) just because they could.

As typical of X-Men films, there are lots of characters and subplots, but First Class feels somehow edgier than the previous ones. Yes, there is the angst of the more youthful characters, but there are also profanity, quite a bit of comic book violence, and many scantily clothed women, all of which were totally unnecessary. There’s even a great unexpected cameo midway through that is rather spoiled by the lone F-bomb in the film.

Overall, X-Men: First Class doesn’t hit all the right notes, but it hits the most important, namely the relationship between Professor X and Magneto. It’s an impressive beginning to the rebooted X-Men trilogy and makes me eager to see X-Men: Days of Future Past this summer.

Best line: (Hank, as Charles is testing the Cerebro headgear) “You’re sure I can’t shave your head?” (Charles) “Don’t touch my hair.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, sex, violence): -6
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #247 – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

© 2014 S. G. Liput

95 Followers and Counting