X-Men (2000)

06 Tuesday May 2014

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Mankind is evolving, I hear,
To mutants with powers unclear.
This world on the brink
Doesn’t know what to think,
But most are responding with fear.
 
Young Rogue is disturbed by the fact
That she cannot have human contact.
Those touching her skin
Are then sapped from within,
Often causing a harmful impact.
 
She flees to the North’s wilderness,
And watches a man have success
On the cage-fighting scene;
He is called Wolverine
And has long metal claws that impress.
 
The pair is attacked in the snow
By a Sabretooth man they don’t know.
They are rescued by two
Mutant patriots, who
Take them both far away from the foe.
 
Wolverine (also Logan) awakes
In a school built for mutant kids’ sakes.
He is urged by Jean Grey,
A smart psychic, to stay,
But flees until told of the stakes.
 
Professor Xavier founded
This school for young mutants, surrounded
By those who have banned
What they don’t understand,
Which may provoke hatred unbounded.
 
The metal-controlling kingpin
Magneto wants mutants to win.
He threatens mankind
With the team he’s combined;
His latest plan’s due to begin.
 
His shape-shifting henchgirl Mystique
Nabs Kelly, who’s known to critique.
A machine in a tower
Magneto can power
Mutates Kelly into a freak.
 
Magneto kidnaps Rogue as well,
For reasons they can’t at first tell.
Then, after debate,
They fear he’ll mutate
World leaders and their personnel.
 
Once Kelly is dead from the change,
A death both horrific and strange,
They fly to New York,
Where Magneto’s at work
To metamorphose all in range.
 
The Statue of Liberty sees
Some tense and hard-fought victories.
The good mutants halt
The bad mutants’ assault
Through metal claws, lasers, and breeze.
 
Though Rogue nearly dies from the load,
Magneto’s machine they explode.
He’s captured and jailed,
But Mystique escapes, veiled,
And Logan gets back on the road.
____________________
 

X-Men was one of the first superhero movies of the new millennium, and it reinvigorated the genre, leading to ever greater comic book films since. As the beginning of this new string of superhero blockbusters, it’s less spectacular and ambitious than more recent films but brought enough memorable characters to the screen to warrant three sequels, a prequel, and a reboot (see three posts ago).

Some characters are perfectly cast, including Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellan as Magneto; others are respectable enough and given room to grow in sequels, such as Famke Janssen as Jean Grey, James Marsden as Cyclops, and Anna Paquin as Rogue; and, as typical of films stuffed with characters, some are just space fillers for fight scenes, namely Halle Berry as Storm and Magneto’s two lackeys Sabretooth and Toad. The best character, though, goes to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, a role that continues to define his career to this year. My VC and I thought it would typecast him as the tough guy with claws, but his recent performance in Les Miserables showed how versatile an actor he is. (Cool fact: Russell Crowe, who starred with Jackman in Les Mis, was the original choice for Wolverine. That would have been…interesting.) Wolverine and Rogue offer the bulk of the character development, but the two old English actors do wonders with less central roles.

Having seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I wish there were some indication that Wolverine and Sabretooth knew each other and were in fact half-brothers. (I know Logan wouldn’t remember, but the most Sabretooth/Victor Creed does is pick up Logan’s dog tags. Also, since Sabretooth had Wolverine’s healing powers, his supposed demise shouldn’t really have killed him.)

The special effects are just good, not stupendous or awe-inspiring like other superhero films, and the writing ranges from thought-provoking to cheesy (Storm’s line upon beating Toad is one of the lamest I’ve ever heard). Joss Whedon wrote an initial script that was mostly rejected, but I think it’s notable that he was involved at the beginning of the superhero craze, as well as directing its culmination in The Avengers. X-Men offers a great ensemble, some inside jokes, and an ending wide open for more installments. Now, fourteen years later, we’re awaiting the hopefully awesome Days of Future Past so it’s only fair to give credit to the film that started it all.

Best line: (Rogue) “You know, you should wear your seat belt.” (Wolverine) “Now look, kid, I don’t need advice on auto…” (Boom—Logan’s truck crashes)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (some language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #244 – Sheffey

© 2014 S. G. Liput

100 Followers and Counting

 

Lady and the Tramp (1955)

05 Monday May 2014

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In 1909, in the bright Christmastime,
A man gives his wife a young pup in her prime.
They christen her Lady, this dog that they’ve gotten,
And pamper and love her and spoil her rotten.
She grows and receives a new collar as well,
Which every dog wants, so she runs off to tell
The terrier Jock and a bloodhound named Trusty,
Whose great sense of smell has become a bit rusty.
 
But Jim Dear and Darling, her folks who adore her,
Soon seem too distracted and start to ignore her.
Old Jock (who’s a Scottish, not Yorkshire or Cairn)
Thinks Darling’s expecting a wee little bairn.
A stray passing mutt called the Tramp overhears
And says things will change, making worse Lady’s fears.
Sure enough, months later, they have a boy,
But Lady protects him and thinks he’s a joy.
 
When Jim Dear and Darling leave home for a while,
Aunt Sarah takes over their quaint domicile.
Her Siamese cats, who are quick to lay claim,
Wreak havoc, and Lady receives all the blame.
When Aunt Sarah muzzles her, Lady escapes
And gets lost in places where she should not traipse.
Tramp comes to her rescue and frees Lady’s snout
And gives her a lovely, romantic night out.
 
The next day, however, while yet homeward bound,
His wild ways get Lady sent to the pound.
She meets the dogs there, whose lives are much colder;
When Lady gets home, she gives Tramp the cold shoulder…
Until a huge rat scurries past in the dark
To the dear baby’s room, causing Lady to bark.
The Tramp swoops right in to destroy the rat first,
But when Aunt Sarah sees him, the maid fears the worst.
 
To the pound with the Tramp, but when they find the rat,
They see he’s a hero who deserves a good pat.
Both Trusty and Jock stop the dog catcher’s cart,
And, though Trusty’s hurt, he does not yet depart.
The next Christmas, Tramp is a part of the home,
And Lady and he have some pups of their own.
_________________
 

Lady and the Tramp is among Disney’s great classics and one of his last impressively animated films (the artistic style seemed to suffer in future endeavors). It’s a classic love story retold countless times, the pampered princess falling for the lovable scoundrel, but it’s not only lovely to look at but also full of endearing characters and memorable moments. I also enjoy how Lady thinks her owners are named Jim Dear and Darling since that’s what they call each other; it has that same naïve misunderstanding as people being called “human beans” in The Borrowers.

Almost any pet owner can commiserate with Jim Dear and Darling in the beginning with Lady as a newborn puppy. Then later on, her banter with Jock and Trusty is downright charming. Yet we also get a glimpse of the darker possibilities of a dog’s life. Tramp has a good, carefree life for the most part, but that scene of adorable despair in the pound is more affecting than most SPCA ads.

We may be cat people, but my VC and I find the Siamese cats’ song positively grating, but Peggy Lee’s “He’s a Tramp” is a highlight of the film (though she sang both songs). And, of course, there is that iconic scene with the spaghetti and meatballs. I had forgotten how good this film was, so, if you haven’t seen this true classic recently, go remind yourself posthaste.

Best line: (Trusty) “Why, everybody knows a dog’s best friend is his human.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (those Siamese cats and the fact that I just like other films more): -5
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #245 – X-Men

© 2014 S. G. Liput

97 Followers and Counting

 

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

04 Sunday May 2014

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Flint Lockwood lives in Swallow Falls, a town built on sardines.
He spends his days pursuing praise by forging new machines.
His father doesn’t “get” what he is trying to achieve,
So Flint works solo in his lab with talking monkey Steve.
 
Sardines aren’t very tasty so he tries a new invention,
A bot debuted to conjure food (from water, I should mention).
It doesn’t work as he had hoped and flies into the sky,
But soon it’s raining cheeseburgers, which captures every eye.
 
Flint builds a new computer to connect with his device;
As orders call, he fills them all, thanks to the Mayor’s advice.
He also bonds with one Sam Sparks, a perky weather girl,
Who spreads the news of food-inspired rain around the world.
 
From pies that plummet to the plate to scoops of sherbet snow
To steaks that soar to dish or floor, Flint’s gadget doesn’t slow.
The food gets ever bigger, and, though Flint could shut it down,
He doesn’t want to wreck the recognition of his town.
 
His father still believes this food anomaly is wrong,
But Flint’s own fears are drowned by cheers till problems come along.
In front of everybody, Flint’s contraption goes berserk,
And he can’t turn it off because the Mayor is a jerk.
 
A tasty storm attacks the world, but Flint and his few friends
Fly up to stop the constant drop of meals, to make amends.
Though faced with sentient food-y foes (with logic in suspension),
Flint stops his evil gadget with another old invention.
 
Though Swallow Falls was leveled by an avalanche of food,
The people cheer when Flint draws near, to show their gratitude.
Then Flint and Sam embrace in the enthusiastic crowd,
And Flint’s impassive father indirectly says he’s proud.
__________________________
 

I don’t know whether to call Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ridiculous inspiration or inspired ridiculousness. The main concept is so simple—food raining from the sky—but the writers milk every imaginative variance on this idea such that the total film exceeds the sum of its parts. Yes, we’ve seen some of this before (the misunderstanding parent and the he’s-dead-no-wait-never-mind cliché), but the directing and writing team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller give the material the same energetically original edge that made the recent Lego Movie a much bigger success than it might have been. Where else can you hear the matter-of-fact usage of the term amuse-bouche, along with a joke questioning its meaning?

The animation is impressive, though highly cartoony at times, and the voices are well-cast, including Bill Hader as Flint Lockwood, Anna Faris as Sam Sparks, James Caan as Flint’s dad, and the incomparable Mr. T as the over-zealous policeman Earl, along with Bruce Campbell, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, and Neil Patrick Harris in supporting roles.

Yet the comedy is the star, and the jokes fly out at an incredible rate. Sometimes they are so quick that a blink will cause you to miss something; other times, it takes half the movie for a funny line to pay off. Though some of the humor is awkward and obnoxious, particularly in the character of former-baby Brent, the multitude of sight gags, food puns, and laugh-out-loud moments, along with the touching culmination of Flint’s relationship with his dad, makes Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs a film worth seeing again and again.

Best line (oh, to have to choose): (Manny, the deadpan cameraman/doctor) “You are going to need a co-pilot.”
(Sam) “You’re a pilot, too?”
(Manny) “Yes. I am also a particle physicist.”
(Sam) “Really?”
(Manny) “No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian.”

 

Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (some awkward parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #246 – Lady and the Tramp

© 2014 S. G. Liput

96 Followers and Counting

 

X-Men: First Class (2011)

03 Saturday May 2014

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Long before ol’ Wolverine
Met Professor X’s team,
Long before young Rogue and Jean
And Cyclops fought Magneto’s scheme,
There was Erik Lehnsherr.
He saw an evil man named Shaw
Shoot his mother as a test
Of his response to what he saw,
Violent, yes, but it impressed
And sparked a misadventure.
 
Psychic Charles Xavier
Grew up with Raven (soon Mystique).
Close as siblings, these two were,
Even though she was a freak,
Hiding with disguises.
Moira, with the CIA,
Is searching for a fishy clue.
She perceives, to her dismay,
Shaw and other mutants, who
Present some new surprises.
 
She and Charles then present
Mutants to the CIA,
Concerning them to some extent,
But one man gives them his okay.
Soon they’re at a base.
Apprehending Shaw and friends
Doesn’t go as they had planned,
Yet, as their encounter ends,
Erik tries to make his stand
To kill Shaw and give chase.
 
Vengeance has to wait a bit.
Charles and fierce Erik meet;
Friendship soon grows out of it
As they get back on their feet.
Soon they are recruiting.
Finding mutants left and right,
Both soon have a young, new team.
Shaw attacks one fateful night,
Claiming mutants are supreme.
There’s much death and shooting.
 
Charles’s home is where they flee
To train and exercise each gift.
Erik helps Mystique to see
Her “beauty,” which provokes a rift
Between both Charles and her.
Shaw and friends are planning, though,
To start the Cuban Missile Crisis,
Forcing an uneasy show
Of rival nuclear devices.
World war may occur.
 
Charles and his mutant team
Fly to Cuba in a jet.
All of them defeat Shaw’s scheme
By extinguishing a threat.
Shaw is soon exposed.
As the good guys fight the bad,
Flying, beaming to and fro,
Shaw taunts Erik, who is mad,
And takes vengeance on his foe.
Shaw is now deposed.
 
Erik quickly has Shaw’s minions
And attempts to prove his power.
Charles has diverse opinions
And stops Erik in his hour.
Erik brings him pain.
Charles’s legs are paralyzed,
But he founds his mutant school,
Which he knows must be disguised.
Erik, though, has plans to rule
And starts his own campaign.
_________________
 

X-Men: First Class offers a compelling look at Professor X and Magneto in their youth. The beginning and straining of their friendship are the backbone of the film, and James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr do an excellent job as younger versions of the roles previously embodied by Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Other roles are either well-cast (Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy/Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique) or pretty flat and just an excuse for cool special effects (Zoe Kravitz as Angel, January Jones as Emma Frost). Kevin Bacon is decent, though not particularly memorable, as the villain Sebastian Shaw, though his comeuppance is both gruesome and well-deserved.

One thing that somewhat bothers me is the way this film fits in with the original X-Men films and the comics. There are references to the previous movies, such as the father of Colonel William Stryker from X2 and the opening scene of young Erik in the concentration camp. Yet, now that we know that Beast and Mystique were attracted to each other and especially that Charles and Mystique grew up together, I must ask why there was no indication of this in the first three films. Plus, there’s that big eyebrow-raiser in the horrible third movie: the scene in which Patrick Stewart’s Charles is seen walking, even though his paralysis is shown to have happened here when he was young. Who knows? In addition, Alex Summer/Havoc is the younger brother of Scott Summers/Cyclops in the comics, yet the filmmakers threw him in First Class (as perhaps Scott’s father) just because they could.

As typical of X-Men films, there are lots of characters and subplots, but First Class feels somehow edgier than the previous ones. Yes, there is the angst of the more youthful characters, but there are also profanity, quite a bit of comic book violence, and many scantily clothed women, all of which were totally unnecessary. There’s even a great unexpected cameo midway through that is rather spoiled by the lone F-bomb in the film.

Overall, X-Men: First Class doesn’t hit all the right notes, but it hits the most important, namely the relationship between Professor X and Magneto. It’s an impressive beginning to the rebooted X-Men trilogy and makes me eager to see X-Men: Days of Future Past this summer.

Best line: (Hank, as Charles is testing the Cerebro headgear) “You’re sure I can’t shave your head?” (Charles) “Don’t touch my hair.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, sex, violence): -6
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #247 – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

© 2014 S. G. Liput

95 Followers and Counting

 

Places in the Heart (1984)

02 Friday May 2014

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In Waxahachie, Texas, days are plodding in succession
As the white and black inhabitants survive the Great Depression.
Times are hard and money’s scarce, but life is stable as the Cross,
Till the Spaulding family suffers a debilitating loss.
 
Edna’s husband is the sheriff and is killed by accident,
Leaving her and her two children to attempt to pay the rent.
She is cautioned by the bank that if she cannot find the cash,
They will repossess her home, like many others since the Crash.
 
When a Negro man named Moses comes a-calling at her door,
She at first just gives him charity before requesting more.
Forgiving Moze of stealing, she agrees on raising cotton,
A task that he grew up with and has not at all forgotten.
 
In addition, she is urged to take a boarder in as well,
The bitter, blinded Will, who needs a quiet place to dwell.
As they work to bring a crop in, there are goings-on in town,
Like affairs and sudden storms that blow entire houses down.
 
As the price of cotton falters, Edna starts to realize
That she has to be the first to sell to win a needed prize.
She and Moze and several workers work for days and nights with speed,
As they pick the fluffy cotton till their aching fingers bleed.
 
They succeed in picking first, and Edna’s persevering nerve
Earns an even higher price than all her cotton may deserve.
Yet the buyer feels defrauded and he knows Moze is to blame,
So the Klan attempts to ambush him, to lynch him or to maim.
 
Although Will helps to save him, Moze is sure he has to leave,
And he bids farewell to Edna, knowing what he helped achieve.
With her debt for now all settled with the money she helped make,
Edna goes to church, relieved, and at communion, all partake.
_______________________
 

Places in the Heart gave us not only one of Sally Field’s best film performances but also the immortal misquote “You like me—you really like me” as she won her second Best Actress Oscar (the first being for Norma Rae). It’s a film that recreates the Great Depression quite convincingly, yet even in situations like a bank threatening repossession or a hungry vagabond begging for work, that lost chivalry of years gone by is ever present. It depicts both the relative helplessness of women at that time and their indomitable strength, combined in Field’s Edna Spalding, who evokes a deep sense of quiet desperation as she attempts to keep her family and home together. My grandfather grew up in that kind of environment, with cornbread, country music, and cotton picking day after day, and it’s interesting to see that lifestyle brought to the screen so realistically.

Danny Glover is perfect as Moze, and though Edna’s forgiveness for his stealing her silver is taken straight from Les Miserables, he donates his assistance in return, not always agreeing with her but supporting her endeavor through the whole film. Also, John Malkovich gives an impressive and understated performance as the blind Mr. Will, who is fairly persnickety at first and warms up throughout the film. He never really has a sudden moment of character change, but Mr. Will is nicely developed through brief moments or details, such as his doing things in the dark or the scene in which he asks Edna what she looks like.

The main thing I don’t like is the subplot involving Edna’s sister and two-timing brother-in-law, played by Lindsay Crouse and Ed Harris, respectively. Both are great actors and the drama is well-handled, but the entire plotline felt out of place to me since it has no bearing or effect on the main story of Edna that we all care about. I appreciate that the filmmakers didn’t go for the explicit nudity that so many think is necessary to be Oscar material, but it nonetheless seemed like filler. (Lost alert) That being said, it was nice to see Terry O’Quinn, who played the husband of Harris’s mistress, in an early role.

Stand-out scenes include the destructive storm, which reminded me of the beginning of Twister, and the sweet and quiet moments, such as young Frank asking his mother to dance. The KKK scene is both frightening and frustrating and perhaps a bit too easily resolved. The end is the true highlight, with the final church scene being a beautiful representation of the total, unbiased communion of heaven. That last shot almost brings me to tears.

For excellent acting and a touching story of perseverance, everyone ought to see Places in the Heart. It’s one of those inspiring downers, in which much goes wrong but much is set right as well.

Best line: (Edna Spalding, in the scene that most likely won Field the Oscar) “Now you listen to me. If we lose this place, and you’re going back to begging for every meal, and Mr. Will, they’re gonna put you in the state home, and I’m going to lose what’s left of my family. I’m not going to let that happen. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care if it kills me. I don’t care if it kills you. I’m not going to give up.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (brief language, including several N-words): -3
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #248 – X-Men: First Class

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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#250: Citizen Kane (1941)

01 Thursday May 2014

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Rich man Charles Foster Kane
May have gone a bit insane,
Building Xanadu, his mansion,
Product of his wealth’s expansion.
Looming large with doleful dread,
There he lived, but now he’s dead.
“Rosebud” was his dying word,
Which the papers overheard.
 
Some reporter seeks the news
Through diaries and interviews.
He learns that Kane was born in need
Until good luck did intercede.
He had to leave his home and sled
To gain what he inherited.
He grew to be a cocky youth,
Intent on passing on the truth.
 
He bought a newspaper for fun,
Becoming New York’s favorite son.
Soon he owned the choicest staff
And wasn’t shy to have a laugh.
He married well, but, as years passed,
Their nuptial bliss just did not last.
He met one Susan unaware
And soon began a veiled affair.
 
He ran for office to denounce
A crooked man he thought he’d trounce,
But his opponent did reveal
Kane’s lover, crushing his appeal.
His marriage ended through his pride,
But Susan soon became his bride.
He goaded her against her will
To sing in opera, low on skill.
 
Kane punished those he once commended;
Soon his every friendship ended.
He built for Susan Xanadu,
Complete with swimming pool and zoo.
He rarely ever left his ward,
And Susan got to be too bored.
She left him, prompting great distress,
And he decayed in loneliness.
 
His life was always full of stuff,
But it was never quite enough.
The news reporter doesn’t find
The “Rosebud” that was on his mind,
But we know ‘twas Kane’s boyhood sled,
A vestige of the life he led.
______________________
  

Here is yet another indicator that my list disagrees substantially with the critical community. Citizen Kane, like The Godfather, is considered one of the greatest films ever made and topped both AFI’s original and their revised top 100 list. It’s not the kind of movie I enjoy watching often, but I recognize its importance and influence on future filmmaking, as well as the reasons for its well-deserved accolades.

The brain child of first-time star and director Orson Welles, Citizen Kane is replete with flashbacks, indirect storytelling, and unique camera angles that made Welles a true pioneer for his time. The clarity he achieved with people or objects at various distances in the same shot, the placement of the camera on the floor or the ceiling, the way he told the whole story right at the beginning before going into it in further detail—all of these elements distinguish the film as an artistic masterpiece.

Commonly considered an unflattering fictionalized depiction of newspaperman William Randolph Hearst and others, Citizen Kane also holds an interest for me for Welles’s detailed yet ambiguous portrayal of a flawed man. Kane is at once sympathetic and unlikable, starting at the former and moving toward the latter as the film progresses, and it is this duality that I enjoy while my VC does not. I admire films that give a well-rounded if inconclusive look at that enigmatic thing we call life. Also, I’m always captivated by seemingly inconsequential features that take on greater emotional weight later in the story, in this case, the snow globe, Kane’s list of principles, the jigsaw puzzles, and of course the infamous sled, which embodies one of the early up-to-the-viewer endings utilized in more recent films like Inception. I enjoy the way this technique builds pathos and makes one care for the characters, whether in a film like Citizen Kane, a cartoon like Up, or a TV show like Lost.

For all its grand style, superb acting, fine script, and classic scenes, the film overall is rather depressing, and, as was typical of old black-and-white pictures, rather slow and sometimes overly dramatic as well. It may not be the most watchable movie, but Citizen Kane deserves its place on my list, as well as its much higher ranking on others.

Best line: (Thompson, the reporter, with a great metaphor at the very end) “Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Rosebud was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything… I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Rosebud is just a… piece in a jigsaw puzzle… a missing piece.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 4
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 10
Watchability: 4
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #249 – Places in the Heart

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Brave (2012)

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

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Princess Merida’s expected always to be lady-like
By her mum Queen Elinor, who nags her constantly.
Weapons are forbidden on the dinner table too;
Merida must act the way that princesses should be.
 
Marriage is the straw that breaks the loaded camel’s back;
Merida can’t stand the fact that it must be arranged.
Archery decides the ugly clan chief’s son she’ll wed
Till she then outshoots him, hoping fate will now be changed.
 
Words are frightful weapons when they’re aimed at those you love;
Elinor and Merida prove this to be a fact.
Merida runs off into the forest in her grief,
Finding wisps that lead her to the way she will react.
 
Locating a cottage and a wood-engraving witch,
Merida finagles quite a vague and shady spell.
When she gives her mother this enchanted little cake,
Fate indeed is altered, for her mother isn’t well.
 
Elinor is changed into a giant, clumsy bear,
Merida insisting that it’s not at all her fault.
Siblings help them both to flee the castle right away,
Dodging their bear-hating father’s guaranteed assault.
 
Merida attempts to find the witch, but she is gone,
Nothing to assist her but a strange and cryptic rhyme.
Though her mother’s getting used to being more relaxed,
Merida is worried she won’t find a cure in time.
 
Learning that the spell brought down a kingdom long ago,
Altering a prince into the demon bear Mor’du,
Merida attempts to mend a tapestry she tore,
Thinking this will heal her mum, but quandaries ensue.
 
War among the clans is stopped when Merida decides
Everyone should get to choose their own selected spouse.
Happiness is short-lived, for her father finds her mum;
Fergus thinks she killed his wife and drives her from the house.
 
Elinor is hunted by her husband and his men.
Merida, however, will not let them follow through.
Suddenly they are assaulted by the demon bear,
Elinor defending them and vanquishing Mor’du.
 
As the sunrise dawns to make the spell a lasting change,
Merida can merely now apologize and wait.
Love succeeds in bringing back the Elinor she knows,
Changing both of them and truly bettering their fate.
_____________________
 

The second Pixar film on my list, Brave is a Scottish-set fairy tale that feels different from all previous Pixar projects. It’s a fine film to be sure with beautifully animated scenery that is alternately lush or barren, often extremely realistic, as well as lovely Celtic music and an exciting climax. Nonetheless, when people list off Pixar films (Toy Story, The Incredibles, WALL-E), Brave will almost certainly be one of the last to come to mind.

It’s an excellent movie, but it’s a strange mix of inspiration and unoriginality. The young hero/heroine straining to be themselves under the oppression of an overbearing authority figure has been overused in plenty of films, from The Sword in the Stone to The Little Mermaid to Ratatouille. The fateful bulls-eye that splits a previous arrow is borrowed directly from the Robin Hood stories. Plus, the plot twist of a bear transformation was already used in Disney’s earlier Brother Bear, as was the recycled line “I don’t speak bear.” Considering Brave was an original fairy tale, I wonder why Pixar didn’t think of something other than a rehashed bear. Brave was originally to be titled The Bear and the Bow (a better title, in my opinion), but it might as well be Mother Bear.

On the other hand, it’s refreshing to see a strained parent-child relationship that doesn’t call on the parent alone to change. Everything is set right only when Merida owns up to her mistake and accepts that all of this is her own fault. The part with the woodcarver witch has the funniest scenes, and the buildup to the transformation is nicely handled. While the Scottish accents were previously applied to the Vikings in How to Train Your Dragon, here the Scottish brogue is more than just a way of talking but a way of life, along with colloquialisms like “dinnae” and “gammy,” as well as realistic highland games.Also, not many films have a touching mother/daughter relationship with both parties being at fault and sympathetic at the same time.

Brave may not be Pixar’s best, but it is a gorgeously rendered addition to their string of hits. Ignore the uninventive elements, and you’ve got another Pixar classic.

Best line: (King Fergus, to Elinor) “Pretend I’m Merida; speak to me…. [in a girly voice] I don’t want to get married, I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 3
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #250 – Citizen Kane

© 2014 S. G. Liput

92 Followers and Counting

 

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993)

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

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The young bulldog Chance tells us all in advance that he needs no home or owner.
He was lost and found and has been to the pound so he thinks himself a loner.
His family, though, which has started to grow with a stepdad for his kid,
Loves Chance a lot, even when he cannot help but do what they forbid.
 
There’s Shadow as well, a retriever by smell, who is tranquil, old and wise,
And Sassy the cat, who Chance likes to jeer at, though her skills catch him by surprise.
When Dad has to move, all the kids disapprove, for the animals must stay behind.
A family friend on whom they can depend agrees to keep all three confined.
 
The ranch where they’ll stay seems so far, far away that the children hate to leave,
And Shadow and Sassy, as faithful as Lassie, are sad to see them grieve.
They patiently wait and they both contemplate what could cause this sudden defection,
While Chance could care less, with too much to assess on the farm for introspection.
 
When Shadow feels strongly that something is wrong, he decides to depart for their home,
And Sassy and Chance, who are shy to advance, then join him to ramble and roam.
Naïve as they are, they believe it’s not far, but they soon are presented with trials:
The Sierra Nevadas, like wooded armadas, extending before them for miles.
 
From creepy night scares to giant brown bears to hunger they never have known,
These unseasoned pets are hounded by threats as they press over meadow and stone.
They suffer a loss at a river they cross as Sassy is carried away.
While watching birds soar, a man finds her on shore and gives her a warm place to stay.
 
The dogs are confronted and afterward hunted by some mountain cat that was spying.
A plan they devise takes the cat by surprise and sends the immense feline flying.
When Sassy is better and no longer wet, her desire for home makes her part.
She joins with her pals and improves their morales so the rest of their journey can start.
 
They find in the forest a girl at her poorest, alone for some reason and cold.
They stay with the child, so lost in the wild, and make sure a search party’s told.
Her parents are grateful, and this turns out fateful, for all three are quickly embraced.
Their owners are given the news and are driven to where their dear pets have been placed,
But Chance thinks they’ve found the deplorable pound so all of them flee and are chased.
 
Their kids are too late, for the pets couldn’t wait but keep on their homeward-bound trip.
When all that remains is a trek through some trains, poor Shadow then suffers a slip.
He falls in a pit, cannot climb out of it, and starts to act sad and morose,
But Sassy and Chance urge him still to advance, especially since they’re so close.
 
The kids that they’ve trekked a long way to protect are glad to hear barking and yell.
First Chance rushes there, though he claimed not to care, and Sassy then follows as well.
Though Shadow is hurt, he climbed out of the dirt and joins with his person to play.
Though Chance likes to roam, this new family and home are now where he’s happy to stay.
______________________
 

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey is one of those perfect children’s movies that adults enjoy just as much as the kids. A remake of Disney’s 1963 adaptation of a Sheila Burnford novel, both entitled The Incredible Journey, this film is a must for dog and cat lovers. (I am the latter.) While the book and the previous version were set in Canada, this one is among the glorious vistas of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.

While Homeward Bound has the three main animals speak to each other, their mouths do not move, whether for budget or believability reasons, but their conversations are just as good as other films that do have creatures literally speak, such as Babe or Charlotte’s Web. This is due to a clever script that pokes fun at common dog-and-cat behavior with a host of great lines, as well as the perfect voice acting. Michael J. Fox brings great energy as Chance, and Don Ameche is much more likable as Shadow than he was in Trading Places. My favorite, though, is Sally Field as Sassy, whose voice I can now hear coming from any snooty feline. How they trained the animals to do everything in this picture is astounding, particularly the very real-looking scene of a poor kitty swept away by a rushing river. Even when the animals messed up, such as some scenes in which Chance slips while running, they just included it as an extra joke in the voiceover. “I meant to do that.”

While the animals are spot-on, the human side of the coin sometimes feels like a TV movie, understandable considering that first-time director Duwayne Dunham went on to direct some respectable Disney Channel films like Halloweentown, The Thirteenth Year, and Now You See It…. Luckily the animals are the stars, and the audience can’t help but root for them, even though their journey was totally unnecessary. If they had just stayed, nothing bad would have happened. Dogs.

Full of breathtaking mountain scenery and touching reunions, Homeward Bound is a wonderful movie for any pet lover and a fond carryover from my childhood.

Best line (there are many): (Sassy) “Yes. I’ll get food by acting like I don’t want food.”
(Chance) “That’s stupid.”
(Sassy) “I’ll prove it.”
(Chance) “Oh, you don’t have to prove it. I believe you’re stupid.”

 

Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #251 – Brave

© 2014 S. G. Liput

89 Followers and Counting

 

Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986)

28 Monday Apr 2014

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Miss Terry Doolittle works for a bank,
Where her conversations are casually frank.
A friendly, disheveled, productive commuter,
She spends her days typing into a computer.
Then one day, her life takes a turn unforeseen
When “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” says hello on her screen.
 
At first, she assumes it’s a practical joke,
Some wisecracking trickster who wants to provoke,
But soon she discovers this analog stranger
Is some British spy trapped in Europe in danger!
He gives her instructions which don’t make much sense
And only cause threats on her life to commence.
 
The contacts he gives her just end up deceased
Or don’t seem to care for poor Jack in the least,
And every attempt to find Jack a way out
One Jeremy Talbot is eager to rout.
With help from the wife of another lost spy,
She learns that the KGB is the bad guy.
 
She grows close to Jack in their shared conversation;
A date with this spy is her one expectation.
When she has success in releasing her chap,
She’s captured by foes and is told it’s a trap.
With desperate shenanigans, she gets away
And tries to warn Jack of sly Talbot’s foul play.
 
She narrowly makes it with aid from a spy,
Who helps bring Jack home and, you know, not die.
Though Terry’s expecting their subsequent date,
Jack doesn’t show up, leaving Terry to wait,
But, at Terry’s office, Jack finally shows,
Fulfilling his promise, and off the pair goes.
___________________
 

Jumpin’ Jack Flash was only Whoopi Goldberg’s third film, and, immediately following her star turn in The Color Purple, it was a return to her comedic roots. Other actors lend their talents as well, from respected thespians to popular comedians, including Stephen Collins, John Wood (WarGames), Jim Belushi, Carol Kane, Phil Hartman, Jon Lovitz, and Jonathan Pryce as Jack, who is only heard throughout most of the film. The computer element of the plot may date it, like Cloak and Dagger or Tron, but Terry’s typed conversations with Jack are well-edited, as if they’re talking to each other over the phone.

The script and direction supposedly went through a lot of issues before the film was completed, but the final result is a comedic gem, despite receiving several negative reviews upon its release. Whoopi Goldberg is just plain cute as Terry Doolittle, and her reactions, whether to good-natured workplace banter or to threats against her life, are hilarious. As typical of spy films, there are the usual creepy or threatening scenes but nothing really violent, and the comedic touches throughout strike just the right balance between tension and humor, leaning more toward the latter. My VC and I love the part where Terry tries to decipher the lyrics to the Rolling Stones’ song “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,” and the phone booth scene and Terry’s subsequent drugged rant is hilarious, one of those great laugh-a-minute sequences.

Unfortunately, as with Trading Places, Jumpin’ Jack Flash is heavy on the language with Whoopi Goldberg especially having a foul mouth, which various characters comment on. Considering that the violence is minimal, it’s a shame that this alone warranted an R rating. As with other movies on my list, catch a cut version on TV some time. You’ll be glad you did.

Best line: (a drugged Terry, when stopped by a spa security guard named Earl) “You see this face, Earl. This is the face of a woman on the edge.”
(Earl) “I know, my wife’s got the same face.”
(Terry) “Now, you gotta decide, Earl. Do you wanna work here, or do you wanna live?”
(Earl, intimidated) “I quit. I quit.”

 

Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -10
 
TOTAL: 36 out of 60
 

Next: #252 – Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey

© 2014 S. G. Liput

87 Followers and Counting

 

Gettysburg (1993)

27 Sunday Apr 2014

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Gettysburg! The town where North and South did chance to meet,
The peaceful hills and meadows that became a battlefield.
Both Yankee blues and rebel grays would not accept retreat
Until the farms of war had offered up their bloody yield.
Although Lee’s troops fought bravely, he was forced to face defeat;
With Pickett’s devastating charge, the battle’s fate was sealed.
 
Heroism shone amid the guns and cannon fire;
Of note was Colonel Chamberlain on Little Round Top’s heights.
They fought with different reasons but the same innate desire,
To end this brothers’ battle, fought for freedom or for rights.
 
May this inspire.
_________________________
 

Gettysburg is long, and I mean looooooong (thus I went with a short poem, a curtal sonnet). At 4 hours and 14 minutes, it is one of Hollywood’s longest movies, originally conceived as a miniseries but bumped up to feature film status by studio backer Ted Turner (who has a cameo in the finished film). History lovers like me will enjoy this meticulously crafted Civil War epic based on Michael Shaara’s historical novel The Killer Angels. There are so many characters and so much time spent detailing Lee’s strategy that it’s not what I would call a casual watch. I love tales of the Civil War, but even I can only watch it occasionally, considering the time investment necessary to view it in its entirety.

The film is almost too ambitious in trying to present such a well-rounded depiction of the famous battle. The first 40 minutes or so before the first battle scene could have been edited down significantly, and some scenes of the explosions and such go on too long. Two sequences, though, stick out as truly awesome in both scale and excitement: Chamberlain’s stand on the wooded slopes of Little Round Top midway through and Pickett’s disastrous charge near the end. Both have that real cast-of-thousands aspect from the old Cecil B. DeMille epics, which have been replaced in modern films with CGI.

While all the actors do a fine job, from Tom Berenger as Lieutenant General James Longstreet to Martin Sheen as Confederate General Robert E. Lee, again two performances emerge as the best. Richard Jordan (in his last film role) is excellent as Confederate “Lo” Armistead, who regrets having to fight an old friend on the opposite side, and Jeff Daniels gives an Oscar-worthy portrayal of Union Colonel Joshua Chamberlain of the 20th Maine regiment. Their stories are the most interesting, and both give stirring pro-American speeches that make Gettysburg perfect for July 4 viewing (plus the battle was fought from July 1-3, 1863).

One thing I much appreciate is that, despite the 53,000 lives that were lost at the battle of Gettysburg, the film manages to be almost entirely bloodless. Some think war films ought to be more realistic in their portrayal of violence, but this film captures the right balance between being fittingly intense without getting gruesome.

If you are easily bored by long films or have little interest in history, Gettysburg probably isn’t the right film for you, but every now and then I feel it’s important that we remind ourselves of the hardships and horrors of war that went into securing freedom for all and keeping this country together.

Best line: (Brigadier General James Kemper to Pickett) “I gotta hand it to you, George. You certainly do have a talent for trivializin’ the momentous and complicatin’ the obvious. You ever considered runnin’ for Congress?”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 7
Watchability: 2
Other (length): -3
 
TOTAL: 36 out of 60
 

Next: #253 – Jumpin’ Jack Flash

© 2014 S. G. Liput

83 Followers and Counting