The River Wild (1994)

19 Monday May 2014

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Though Gail, a Boston mom and wife,
Is having doubts on married life,
Her husband Tom is fixed on work
And seems to Roarke, their son, a jerk.
A birthday trip for Roarke out west
For river rafting has a guest
When Tom then brings work with him there
To show his family he does care.
 
They meet two men named Wade and Terry,
Who seem friendly, nice, and merry.
As work distracts, Tom still offends,
While Wade and Roarke become good friends.
But, as they paddle down the river,
Wade starts giving Gail a shiver.
 
When Gail and Tom have had enough,
They try to flee with all their stuff,
But Roarke is clueless as to why
And lets Wade catch them ere they fly.
They see Gail’s plan so Wade and Terry
Turn into villains, mean and scary.
 
They robbed an auction, and their scheme
Involves escaping far downstream.
They lost their guide so Gail, they knew,
Would have to get them safely through.
Wade shoots at their dog, who’s quick to run,
And ties them down, armed with a gun.
 
As hostages aboard the raft,
The trio can’t escape the craft,
But one night, Tom is forced to flee
And gets away quite narrowly.
He runs ahead past rabid falls
And sets a trap ‘twixt canyon walls.
 
Though Gail attempts to gain release,
The duo need her expertise.
The deadly Gauntlet lies ahead
And causes her continued dread.
Through swirling rapids kept taboo,
Gale guides them as they paddle through.
 
The other side sees Tom’s trap sprung,
And in the water, all are flung.
Gail gets the gun, and, once he’s pled,
Wade gives her cause to shoot him dead.
The cops are called to fetch the men,
And Gail and Tom are close again.
__________________
 

I first saw The River Wild more recently than most of the films on my list, and it’s one of those movies that surprised me as being much better than I expected. Meryl Streep gives a less acclaimed but no less brilliant performance as distressed mother Gail, who matches wits, if not muscle, with two violent thieves. (Plus, she had to learn sign language and rafting skills and did most of her own stunts.) Kevin Bacon is equally well-cast in a villainous role, and both earned Golden Globe nominations for their roles. Though he doesn’t actually carry out a violent act until near the end, he gives every indication that he would not hesitate in the slightest. He may not be the most memorable of villains, but he is bad. Just imagine if he had superpowers or something (see X-Men: First Class). John C. Reilly as Terry and Joseph Mazzello (Jurassic Park) as Roarke also fill their roles well, and this is now the fourth David Strathairn (Tom) film on my list; you’ll see him again.

The Montana/Oregon scenery is really spectacular, and, aside from the tension Wade brings to the party, the rafting scenes are true highlights, particularly the final running of the Gauntlet. Having gone rafting with my dad down the Nantahala River in North Carolina, I know how thrilling it can be, and this film gives a taste of it for those who perhaps haven’t experienced it themselves.

Many criticized the film for its predictability and lack of credibility, such as when Tom outruns the raft down the rushing river, and, while these complaints have some credence, it doesn’t detract from the movie as a whole. It’s an entertaining ride that rushes along nicely and even manages a laudable endorsement of sticking with a difficult marriage early on.

Best line: (Gail, to Roarke at the beginning of the trip) “You’re gonna scream your guts out, you’ll be so happy.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (some language): -3
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #234 – The Artist

© 2014 S. G. Liput

108 Followers and Counting

 

Wuthering Heights (1970)

18 Sunday May 2014

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To Wuthering Heights on the wide English moor,
An old Mr. Earnshaw brings home a boy poor.
This Heathcliff grows up with young Catherine Earnshaw,
But her brother Hindley is deemed immature
And sent off to college to join the bourgeois.
 
Once Mr. Earnshaw is resigned to the ground,
Proud Hindley (now married) then comes back around.
Though Heathcliff and Cathy have grown very close,
Her brother makes Heathcliff do labor unbound,
But Heathcliff works hard, both intense and morose.
 
When Cathy spends time with the Lintons nearby,
She calls Heathcliff “dirty” and holds her nose high.
He thus feels betrayed, though he loves Cathy still,
And runs off in shame, causing Cathy to cry.
Her guilt and lovesickness then makes her fall ill.
 
She’s nursed back to health and decides that she’ll wed
The rich Edgar Linton, since Heathcliff has fled,
But three short years later, her sweetheart returns,
Having bettered himself after what Cathy said.
Yet deep in his heart, a dark vengeance now burns.
 
Poor Hindley, a widower drunken with debt,
Plays cards with sly Heathcliff, who wins every bet.
Soon Heathcliff controls his estate by all rights
And keeps making Cathy and Edgar upset,
As he plans his vengeance from Wuthering Heights.
 
Isabella Linton, Edgar’s sister, is wooed
By Heathcliff to make Cathy suffer subdued,
But, when Cathy’s ill with a child inside,
It’s Heathcliff that holds her to settle their feud,
But it is too late, and soon Cathy has died.
 
While Heathcliff is tortured by love unfulfilled,
He’s haunted by Cathy, and hope is instilled.
Yet Hindley, so bitter, then settles the score,
And, following Cathy’s ghost, Heathcliff is killed
And seen running off with his love through the moor.
____________________
 

Wuthering Heights is a powerful story of love and hate that still remains popular 167 years after Emily Bronte first published it. While it has spawned countless retellings in film and television, I chose this 1970 version starring Timothy Dalton and Anna Calder-Marshall because of its significance to my mom. She saw it at a young age, and it remains one of the surest ways to make her burst into tears. The haunting Golden Globe-nominated score by Michel Legrand is alone enough to affect her, and she can only see it once a year at most.

There are three kinds of guys when it comes to tearjerker chick flicks: those who refuse to see them at all, those who sit through them grudgingly and remain stoic while the girl drains most of her ocular fluids, and those who may not be hit the same but comfort and understand their friend’s emotional anguish. Every guy should try to be the last type, even when the film doesn’t capture his attention like a good action film. I say this from personal experience, having had to console my mother over the gloriously sad and bittersweet ending of Wuthering Heights.

Even if it’s not particularly exciting, the film certainly deserves a watch, from the excellent period sets and costumes to the sweeping views of the misty countryside. The acting is first-rate and vastly superior to the 1939 version. I did like Laurence Olivier’s smoldering performance in that classic, which stands in contrast to Dalton’s more impetuous, almost animalistic depiction of Heathcliff, but Anna Calder-Marshall as Cathy is extraordinarily better than Merle Oberon’s almost laughable acting. Judy Cornwell as Nelly and Julian Glover as Hindley also give noteworthy performances. Overall, the film feels like a hybrid between Masterpiece Theatre, the old classics of Hollywood’s golden era, and some more recent Gothic romances.

It may have made multiple changes to the book (Hindley doesn’t kill Heathcliff, and the whole second half is left out of the film), but the 1970 Wuthering Heights remains the best version I’ve seen. Yes, it’s an unrepentant tearjerker in which pretty much everyone acts foolishly, but it is also an admirable adaptation with deep and troubled relationships and an ending at once crushing and heartening.

Best line: (Heathcliff, after being told that vengeance is for God) “Why should God have all the satisfaction?”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 4
Other (crying effect): +4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #235 – The River Wild

© 2014 S. G. Liput

108 Followers and Counting

 

Unbreakable (2000)

17 Saturday May 2014

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When David Dunn is on a train,
Which crashes, all aboard are slain,
But David walks away unharmed,
Which leaves him puzzled and alarmed
How he alone survived the wreck.
 
He finds a simple note, concise,
From comic fan Elijah Price,
That questions David to explore
If he’s been ever sick before.
This irks and pushes him to check.
 
He meets with Price, whose bones, alas,
Are broken easily, like glass.
Price then suggests that Dunn may be
A superhuman possibly.
 
Price watched the news: a crashing plane,
A hotel fire, and then the train.
And Dunn alone has cheated death,
But David says to save his breath.
 
Through tests of instinct and his might,
He starts to think Price may be right.
His past confirms what Price has known;
Dunn’s never had a broken bone.
 
His failing marriage lacks romance,
But Dunn’s wife grants a second chance.
His son insists that Price is right
And tries to prove it with a fright.
 
At last when David thinks it’s true,
He tries to see what he can do.
He stops an evil home invader
As a hooded night crusader.
 
He feels at last he’s found it all,
His purpose, thanks to Price’s call,
But David senses through his skill
That “Mr. Glass” has secrets still.
__________________
 

Before M. Night Shyamalan’s reputation went down the tubes, he created Unbreakable, an amazingly nuanced take on the superhero film, which had high expectations coming right on the heels of his smash hit The Sixth Sense. Bringing back Bruce Willis as the star and James Newton Howard as composer, Shyamalan’s artistry is out of this world. The film is replete with framed shots meant to look like comic book panels, a much more effective and subtle technique than Ang Lee’s attempt at the same thing in Hulk. Repeated use of upside-down shots, mirrored shots, and Shyamalan’s distinctive application of bright colors in a drab world make repeated watchings worthwhile, if only to notice them all like Easter eggs, and, of course, there’s the surprise ending, which may not be as mind-blowing as in The Sixth Sense but definitely comes as a game-changing surprise on the first viewing.

Bruce Willis is at his subdued best as David Dunn, and Robin Wright Penn as his wife Audrey and Spencer Treat Clark as son Joseph are likewise exemplary. Samuel L. Jackson steals every scene he’s in, and it’s not just because of his hairdo. His role may be very different from his more recent comic book films (Nick Fury), but he manages great vulnerability as well as potential psychosis.

Although Unbreakable is considered a superhero film, it doesn’t even attempt the unfettered entertainment of movies like Spider-Man, Iron Man, or The Avengers. David’s one stab at heroism is too horrific to be really enjoyable, though it remains timely in light of the Ariel Castro kidnappings that recently came to light in Cleveland. Plus, while The Sixth Sense ended on a bittersweet but hopeful note, Unbreakable’s twist ending is more dismal and depressing.

There are no explosions, no jaw-dropping stunts, just exceptional acting, skillful cinematography, and some genuinely tense scenes. I love the attention to little details, such as the brief scene of The Powerpuff Girls episode “Mommy Fearest,” which features both breaking glass and a plot analogous to the film’s. Unbreakable isn’t the kind of film I like to watch often, but it’s certainly worth watching and perhaps even studying.

Best line: (Elijah Price) “Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you’re here.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 5
Other (language and a bloodless but brutal death scene): -5
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #236 – Wuthering Heights (1970)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

106 Followers and Counting

 

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

16 Friday May 2014

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When Jared and Simon and Mallory Grace
Move into their great-aunt’s old house,
They are not all pleased with this ominous place
And hear scurrying (not a mouse).
 
Their great-aunt Lucinda went nuts here, they say,
Thinking faeries and goblins were real,
And Jared is eager to leave the next day,
But his family’s less than ideal.
 
He’s mad at his mother for leaving his dad,
But he’s not aware of it all.
When they cannot locate possessions they had,
They find them concealed in the wall.
 
The others aren’t curious; young Jared, though,
Ascends to the attic to look.
He finds a strange field guide composed long ago
With a warning to not read the book.
 
He does and thus enters a world full of faeries,
Disguised and unseen in our own.
He learns this collection of entities varies
From friendly to bad to the bone.
 
He placates the brownie whose nest they revealed
And talks to this small Thimbletack.
He learns there’s a circle that acts as a shield
To keep ogre Mulgarath back.
 
But Simon is kidnapped by goblins outside,
And Jared runs after his bro.
They flee to the circle that guards the field guide,
And Mallory battles the foe.
 
Besieged by the goblins, they try to sneak out
To visit their Aunt Spiderwick.
They talk to Lucinda and ask her about
How best to resolve this, and quick.
 
She tells them that Arthur, her father, who wrote
The field guide, is living somehow.
The faeries have kept him, Lucinda does note,
So they must find Spiderwick now.
 
Astride his pet griffin, they find where he’s been,
But he cannot much help their plight.
So all the Grace children, unsure if they’ll win,
Return for a battle that night.
 
Convincing their mother that faeries exist,
They all plan to fight the foes back.
Since Mulgarath has a guide page to assist,
He strips off their shield to attack.
 
They come through the windows; they come through the floors.
They’re fought with tomatoes and steel.
The Graces do well, being new to such wars,
And melt all the goblins with zeal.
 
When Mulgarath tries to deceive with a trick,
It’s Jared that sees through a goof.
The ogre demands the book by Spiderwick
And chases the boy to the roof.
 
A strength of the ogre’s becomes his demise,
And now that he’s gone, all is calm.
Though he wished to leave, Jared’s come to realize
He’d much rather stay with his mom.
 
The Graces bring home Aunt Lucinda to stay,
But Spiderwick visits his love.
She leaves with her father when he goes away,
And all’s back to normal—sort of.
______________
 

What a coincidence that the day my family moves into a new older home, I watch The Spiderwick Chronicles, a fantasy that begins just so! Based on the book series by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black, the film makes shrewd decisions about what to include, what to drop, and what to alter. The film is fairly faithful to the first book, The Field Guide, as well as the second The Seeing Stone. Lucinda’s Secret and The Wrath of Mulgarath are modified considerably to better fit into the plotline, while the fourth book, The Ironwood Tree, is dropped entirely since it didn’t really add that much to the book series either. Films based on books can either be huge hits due to their faithfulness (The Hunger Games films) or quality (The Lord of the Rings), but, if they are lacking in either respect, they can bomb and never earn enough to garner a sequel (Eragon, Inkheart). The Spiderwick Chronicles falls squarely in the middle of the pack, yet, even though it revises many elements from the books, it has the right tone and overall quality to make it enchanting and entertaining for both fans of the series and non-fans alike.

Freddie Highmore is excellent, as usual, playing twins, the learned Simon, who doesn’t “do conflict,” and Jared, who (apparently not having seen The Mummy) thinks that no harm could come from reading a book. Sarah Bolger, known for playing Mary Tudor on The Tudors, exhibits the right amount of sibling disdain as Mallory, and Mary-Louise Parker is instantly sympathetic as their mother Helen. David Strathairn and Joan Plowright as Arthur and Lucinda Spiderwick round out the human cast with their acting prowess. The voice actors are equally well-cast, from Martin Short as Thimbletack (who doesn’t rhyme as frequently as he should) to Seth Rogen as Hogsqueal and Nick Nolte as Mulgarath.

Upon its release, The Spiderwick Chronicles was criticized for using so much CGI, but I think it’s used judiciously for the most part. The close-up of Jared throwing the Seeing Stone to Mallory wasn’t necessary, but ultimately, the griffin ride was the only scene in which the filmmakers threw in special effects just to show off what they could do. Everything else is used to awesome or scary effect, as is the fitting James Horner score. The final battle in the house is especially thrilling (considering it wasn’t shown in the book), though it’s also surprisingly intense for a Nickelodeon movie, with goblin arms being chopped off and heads melting and so forth. It’s great spectacle, though Mulgarath’s dialogue consists almost entirely of ”Give me the book” over and over again.

Just as the film version of Eragon made one notably welcome addition to the story in having Brom die astride Saphira, this movie improves the final moment between Arthur Spiderwick and Lucinda. Rather than have him just turn to dust like in the books, they are both taken by the faeries to live together forever. It’s much more touching and ends the movie on a high note of poignancy.

The Spiderwick Chronicles indicates there are fantastic things unseen in this world of ours; I haven’t seen any brownies in my house yet, but I’ll keep an eye out. (Maybe I’ll just make some of the chocolate kind.)

Best line: (truck driver, after running over a troll) “Oh, my God! Did I hit someone?” (Jared) “Yes! Thank you!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
Other (some violence): -2
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #237 – Unbreakable

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

14 Wednesday May 2014

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Spock is dead; I’m sure you’ve heard.
He gave his life to save the ship.
His crew sent him to Genesis
And started on their homeward trip.
 
But Kirk and friends regret their loss,
Until McCoy starts acting weird.
It seems he has Spock’s “katra” (soul),
And loss of sanity is feared.
 
Spock’s father says Kirk needs to find
Spock’s body, both of them to save.
So Kirk and faithful crew hijack
The Enterprise, their futures grave.
 
Meanwhile, David, Kirk’s own son,
And Vulcan Saavik both explore
The planet Genesis produced,
Which isn’t perfect anymore.
 
They locate Spock, alive and young
And aging with the fluxing sphere,
But hostile Klingons blow their ship
And take the trio hostage here.
 
Kirk arrives and has a standoff
With the Klingon captain, bad.
The villain then has David killed,
And Kirk is saddened, shocked, and mad.
 
He leaves the damaged Enterprise
To let the Klingon party board
But lets his favorite ship explode
To kill most of the Klingon horde.
 
Kirk’s crew gets on the enemy’s ship
While Kirk and Klingon duke it out.
When Kirk has had enough of him,
Incineration ends the bout.
 
Escaping on the Klingon vessel,
Kirk and Spock and all their friends
See the planet blow up too,
And Project Genesis thus ends.
 
They take McCoy and Spock at last
To Vulcan for a mystic rite.
Spock remembers little, but
His friends are glad he’s back now, quite.
__________________
 

As the first Star Trek film on my list, Search for Spock is certainly not the worst of the original franchise. Two worse installments didn’t make the cut (those who have seen them will know which two), but, of the Trek movies commonly regarded as good, this one is the least impressive. That’s not to say that it is a poor film; it’s a great adventure that brings back one of the most beloved ensembles of all time for an answer to the question “What happens when you kill off the second most important character?” Answer: You resurrect him through an unexplained experiment and alien mumbo-jumbo.

It’s not just a way to continue the series by backstepping on a fateful move (to kill off Spock), it also is the tragic conclusion of Kirk’s meeting his son in Wrath of Khan. David’s death has got to be the second most poignant moment for the original series crew and continued to haunt Kirk right up to their last film. Search for Spock also marked the first time the Enterprise itself met its demise. When my mother originally saw it in the theater, during the scene where the ship starts dipping into the atmosphere, she overheard a nearby fanboy utter a devastated “Nooo.” At least they built a new one, right?

Aside from the main cast, Christopher Lloyd turns in an uncharacteristically villainous role as Kruge, the Klingon captain, who is pretty generic, to be honest, lacking a master plan or a deep-seated motive like the villains in The Undiscovered Country or Wrath of Khan. He does manage surprising intensity that proves he could do much more than humorous or crazy roles.

My quibbles here may indicate that I dislike Search for Spock, but, if that was the case, I wouldn’t have it this high on the list. I love Star Trek, and, as Trek films go, it’s in the middle of the pack, so to speak. The visual effects range from mildly impressive explosions to realistic miniatures. It’s exciting and heart-tugging, and, though the Vulcan ceremony at the end drags, the line “Your name is…Jim” concludes the film on a high note. Leonard Nimoy can be proud of it as its director (but The Voyage Home is better. Just saying.)

Best line: (Scotty, after sabotaging a fancy new ship) “Aye, sir. The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #238 – The Spiderwick Chronicles

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

#240 – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

13 Tuesday May 2014

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When Robin of Locksley returns as a team
With a Moor with a life debt to him named Azeem,
He finds England’s changed while he fought the Crusades.
He finds his home unsafe for children and maids.
 
He kills several bullies and lets a few scram,
Which angers the Sheriff who rules Nottingham.
When Robin finds out his estranged father’s dead,
He promises vengeance on this Sheriff’s head.
 
Azeem and a blind aide named Duncan attend
While Robin attempts to go visit a friend.
Maid Marian isn’t much pleased he’s alive,
Especially when Sheriff’s soldiers arrive.
 
To flee, Robin rides to the forest Sherwood,
A place that’s not haunted, just misunderstood.
He meets several bandits but doesn’t once quiver
And earns their respect with some dunks in the river.
 
He leads this small party of woodsmen to fight
And robs every wagon that comes within sight.
The Sheriff is shipping out many a bribe,
But all his gold’s stolen by Robin Hood’s tribe.
 
The outlaw gains friends and support for his pluck,
Including Maid Marian and Friar Tuck,
But Will Scarlet sends him derision galore,
While that evil Sheriff hates him ever more.
 
The Sheriff of Nottingham hires some Celts
To lay siege to Robin and everyone else.
He captures a number of men, even Will,
And plans out a nice public method to kill.
 
In order to marry Maid Marian too,
And merit the throne with her blood, which is blue,
He says he will spare a few bound for the noose
If she will soon wed him, despite his abuse.
 
The Sheriff sends Will, who he thinks is a traitor,
To find Robin’s whereabouts sooner or later,
But Will yields to Robin that he’s his half-brother,
The son of his father and some other mother.
 
While Robin is shocked, the two men make their peace
And plan the best way for the captives’ release.
Azeem gives them gunpowder; John gives them swords.
They infiltrate slyly the castle of lords.
 
Though there are some hiccups, they save everyone,
And Robin soon has Nottingham on the run.
The villain tries marrying Marian, while
Azeem and the archer are locked in the aisle.
 
When Robin breaks in, the two foes have their duel,
And Robin prevails o’er the Sheriff so cruel.
Azeem saves his life, thus repaying his debt,
And everyone’s rescued from Nottingham’s threat.
 
Once they are all done saving lives thrillingly,
Both Robin and Marian wed (willingly).
King Richard himself (someone very well-known)
Thanks Robin of Locksley for saving his throne.
___________________
 

Having seen it recently, I’d say Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves probably deserves a higher place on my list. It is not only a highly entertaining medieval romp but also my favorite cinematic version of the Robin Hood story. Removing King John entirely from the story and mixing up some relationships to make them tragically Shakespearean, the filmmakers created a film that is at once exciting, funny, romantic, and now and then stunning.

Kevin Costner is appropriately heroic and likable as Robin Hood, though his lack of English accent is a major inaccuracy to my mind, and Morgan Freeman turns in another spot-on performance as his Moorish companion Azeem. After spending so much time underwater in The Abyss, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio decided to go with an easier role as the lovely Maid Marian, who manages to be both a strong fighter and a damsel in distress. The most striking role goes to Alan Rickman, who perfectly embodies the villainy of the Sheriff of Nottingham, though, unlike Hans Gruber from Die Hard, most of Rickman’s scenes here carry a strange dichotomy of wickedness and humor. Also, you’ve got to love that cameo at the end.

I suppose a major reason I like Prince of Thieves is its balance. It doesn’t typecast its characters, or at least only minimally. The atrocities of the Muslims during the Crusades are shown during an early scene, but Azeem proves to be likable, loyal, and highly learned compared with the English. Similarly, the Bishop of Hereford is shown to be greedy and treacherous, but faithful Christianity is also extolled, though less strongly. Robin’s initial thanks to God upon returning home is a good example of this; Friar Tuck’s drunkenness, not so much.

Though Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is certainly violent, most acts of carnage are left offscreen or hidden with skillful cuts away from bloody wounds. Language is also minimal, though they threw in a lone F-bomb that surprised me greatly. Despite these elements, the film has able, if occasionally over-the-top acting; a number of good one-liners; gorgeous scenery; and a memorably majestic score by Michael Kamen. (If you’ve ever watched the opener for a Disney DVD, you’ve already heard it.) Also, Bryan Adams’s Oscar-nominated “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” surely deserves a place in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. It’s a perfect romantic wrap-up to a great movie, one of my VC’s favorites.

Best line: (blind Duncan, not having seen Azeem) “Curse those Moors and Saracens. If it wasn’t for their ungodly ways, Master Robin would never have left. What manner of name is Azeem? Scottish, Cornish?”  (Azeem, up close) “Moorish.” (Duncan’s reaction is priceless!)

VC’s Best Line: (Azeem, after foiling an ambush) “No man controls my destiny… especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 8
Other (violence, languages, etc.): -4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #239 – Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (I’m moving this week so I may be delayed)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

Sister Act (1992)

10 Saturday May 2014

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Deloris Van Cartier now is in danger
For seeing a murder, but not from a stranger.
Her boyfriend named Vince is a mobster, it seems,
And Reno’s not safe with his myriad schemes.
She goes to police, who have witness protection
And place her somewhere sure to ward off detection.
 
She leaves her job singing in clubs to begin
Her time in a convent, much to her chagrin.
Disguised as a nun, “Mary Clarence” prepares
To lie low and pray to the Big Guy Upstairs.
The strict Reverend Mother alone knows the truth
And dislikes Deloris, who seems so uncouth.
 
Deloris is shocked at their habits ascetic;
Their choir and parish are rather pathetic.
Befriending some nuns, she’s impelled to the choir
And tries to light up the nuns’ long-dormant fire.
The new practiced choir is unveiled at Mass
And sounds better, bringing in people who pass.
 
The old Reverend Mother thinks this is too strange,
But others are thrilled at the musical change.
Deloris and friends start to live out their calls
And help the community outside the walls.
They soon hear the Pope will be coming to hear
The Sisters, but soon Vince’s goons interfere.
 
Locating Deloris, they take her to Reno
To answer to Vince at his fancy casino.
The nuns follow after and rescue their “Sister,”
And Vince is arrested when lawmen assist her.
Deloris, to wrap up her life as a nun,
Conducts the Pope’s concert and wows everyone.
___________________
 

Sister Act is proof that Hollywood can handle religion in film without always mocking it. There are references to the nuns as “penguins” and the cliché of some nuns being overly strict killjoys, which some may indeed be. Despite these aspects, the film confirms the nuns’ way of life and service to God and man by the end. They assist the community, they earn respect even from mobsters, and, although the updated music style isn’t quite reverent enough for a church service (in my opinion), it nonetheless gives glory to God and manages to attract pedestrians into the church for the Mass’s message. On top of all this, the movie is actually funny and surprisingly clean.

From Whoopi Goldberg’s usual clever banter in the face of danger to Kathy Najimy’s overly perky Sister Mary Patrick, the film offers up some great fish-out-of-water laughs (Deloris’s prayer before the meal always earns a chuckle) alongside some memorable musical numbers. I especially like how they rewrote “My Guy” as “My God,” and the reimagined version of “Hail, Holy Queen” is truly glorious.

The best part is, despite showing Deloris’s seedy mobster boyfriend (played by Harvey Keitel), the film never shows its violence, and the language is kept at a believable minimum. Sister Act was one of Whoopi Goldberg’s best films and definitely deserves a place on my list.

Best line: (Reverend Mother, to the nuns in a Reno casino, looking for Deloris) “Brace yourselves, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 7
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #240 – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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The Abyss (1989)

09 Friday May 2014

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When a nuclear submarine sinks to a perilous depth,
The U. S. decides to send down a SEAL team for rescue.
A hurricane is coming, so time is just not on their side;
Therefore, they commission an undersea oil rig crew.
 
The hard-nosed designer named Lindsey goes down with the SEALS
To keep tabs on them and Bud Brigman, her soon-to-be ex.
While Bud and his oil rig team don’t appreciate this,
They’ll all be paid well for this most dangerous of projects.
 
They move the rig close to a seemingly bottomless trench
With orders from Coffey, the SEALs’ leading pain in the neck.
They find the huge vessel with everyone in it deceased
When divers and subs journey out to examine the wreck.
 
One big guy named Jammer freaks out from the sub full of corpses
And falls in a coma as storm winds above start to blow.
Then Coffey gets orders to reclaim a nuke from the sub,
Which causes some unforeseen problems for all down below.
 
The hurricane destroys a large crane from a ship up above,
Which nearly drags down the whole oil rig into the pit.
They suffer some losses, but Lindsey believes that she saw
A strange glowing thing, yet everyone’s doubtful of it.
 
First Lindsey, then everyone gets a good look at these beings,
Which somehow control ocean water from deep in that void.
But Coffey, who’s suffering from pressure sickness, believes
They’re Russians or some hostile species that must be destroyed.
 
He arms the small nuke to send down to the yawning abyss
And locks down the rig, putting everyone into harm’s way.
When Jammer wakes up, he helps free all his friends from their jail,
And Bud and a pal try to stop Coffey’s mad power play.
 
They battle in subs, but the bomb swims away to the trench,
And Coffey soon follows, imploding while plummeting down.
When Lindsey and Bud are then stranded in their sinking sub,
Bud swims to the rig in a suit while poor Lindsey must drown.
 
Bud next resurrects her, and “drowns” in a way of his own.
To disarm the bomb, he must enter the endless abyss.
He has to breathe liquid with oxygen as he descends,
Which helps him adjust to the pressure, the worst part of this.
 
He sinks ever deeper and locates the bomb to disarm.
He does so, but knows he cannot make it back to the rig.
He types his goodbyes till an alien creature swims by
And carries him off to the mother ship, looming quite big.
 
They give him some air and then show him a TV of sorts,
Depicting the rumors of war on the surface above.
They have the control to destroy man with giant tsunamis,
But let us survive based on Bud’s show of unselfish love.
 
Bud contacts the rig, letting everyone know he’s alive,
And warns them to brace for their newest acquaintance from space.
The mother ship rises and lifts the whole rig to the surface,
Where Lindsey and Bud share a thrilled reuniting embrace.
_______________________
 

Coming on the heels of The Terminator and Aliens, James Cameron’s The Abyss was a much more ambitious project, with over half of the nearly three-hour film being shot underwater. For those who don’t know, my poem and review are for the extended version of The Abyss, which includes a half hour of additional scenes and a better-explained ending than the original 1989 version. These scenes give greater detail to various relationships and a more full understanding of the finale, which explains why the alternate version has largely replaced the original.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio stars in what I consider her best role as the hardheaded rig designer Lindsey, and Ed Harris is similarly fantastic as her irritated husband Bud. Their relationship is the most intimate and personable, and little touches such as Bud’s wedding ring saving his life add a lot to their characters. Michael Biehn is increasingly wild-eyed as the impaired SEAL Coffey, but these three are the only fleshed-out characters in the film. While the extended version helps, the rest of the crew are pretty much just a collection of eccentricities. Their names don’t really stick like their actions or appearance, making them just “the tall coma guy,” “the black sub lady,” “the conspiracy guy with the rat,” and “the guy who looks like a truck driver.”

Regardless of the lack of secondary character development, the Oscar-winning special effects are often extraordinary, especially considering when it was released. The set pieces involving the crane and the submarine fight are truly impressive and kept me on the edge of my seat. The NTIs (Non-Terrestrial Intelligence) are also well-realized creatures that are kept out of sight for most of the film, and the grand score by the great Alan Silvestri creates tension and mystery, though less scarily than in Aliens.

Weak points include the language and the ending. Even with the extended climax, with an anti-war message foreshadowing that of Cameron’s Avatar, the end is overlong and rather convenient. The NTIs’ benevolence in light of Bud’s sacrifice carries an important and touching message, but it’s a tad hokey as well. Without the anti-war elements, the end made even less sense and drew the bulk of critics’ ire. Also, while the F-words are minimal, The Abyss has quite a bit of profanity and other bad language, plus some non-sexual nudity, so a cut version is definitely preferred in my house.

I’ve heard that, with all the safety issues and long shoots required, Cameron and the actors did not enjoy making The Abyss at all. It may have been hard on them, but it gave Cameron some experience shooting with water, preparing him for Titanic, and it gave us an excellent sci-fi thriller.

Best line: (Bud) “Hippy, you think everything is a conspiracy.” (Hippy) “Everything is.”

VC’s best line (one she has reused many times since): (Bud) “I’m comin’, I’m comin’. Geez, keep your pantyhose on.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, nudity, and overlong ending): -8
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #241 – Sister Act

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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The Girl Who Leapt through Time (2006)

08 Thursday May 2014

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Young Makoto Konno is always behind.
It’s hard to make up all the time she can’t find.
She makes time, however, to play catch each day
With new friend Chiaki and old friend Kosuke.
 
One day in particular seems to run long;
From quizzes to accidents, all just goes wrong.
Then Makoto finds a small nut-shaped doodad,
Which gives a brief vision that scares her a tad.
 
Her journey back home then delivers a thrill
When her bike’s brakes go out riding down a steep hill.
She’s thrown from her bike at the end of the lane,
Right into the path of an oncoming train!
 
She sees the train hit her and hears the bell chime,
Then finds she’s gone backward a minute in time.
Alive but confused, she is told by her aunt
That she can time-leap; Makoto thinks she can’t.
 
Through tentative practice, she picks up the skill
Of leaping to past and to future at will.
She starts by improving that horrible day
And making up time that had once slipped away.
 
Enjoying her power, she doesn’t see straight
That her problems are passed to another schoolmate.
When this poor guy’s had it and finally snaps,
She sees that time travel can damage perhaps.
 
The labyrinth of love is another sore spot,
As Chiaki asks her if she’ll date him or not.
She flees from the question, which never occurs
And causes a rift that she only makes worse.
 
She also tries playing the matchmaker too
For Kosuke and one timid girl, who is new.
Then after she does this, she sees a tattoo
That shows she has one time-leap left on her cue.
 
She wastes it before she sees Kosuke’s mistake
Of taking his girl on her bike that won’t brake.
She sees them rush down that notorious hill
And strike the same rails with the same deadly spill.
 
Then time stops; Chiaki comes forth to impart
He came from the future in search of some art.
He used his last leap to save Kosuke, alone,
But now he must leave since his secret is known.
 
He leaves her, and Makoto weeps for her friend,
Until she takes note of a way she can mend.
The leap that he made canceled out her last one
So she cancels his out to prevent what’s been done.
 
At last, all is right, and there’s no accident,
But Chiaki must leave since his secret is spent.
Though sad, he tells Makoto he’ll wait for her,
And she is content with her waiting future.
___________________
 

I first saw The Girl Who Leapt through Time only last year, but it is apparently a very popular story in Japan, first published in novel form in 1967 and spawning multiple Japanese films since. Both well-received and author-approved, this anime version combines two of my favorite elements: animation and time travel. It isn’t a rip-roaring adventure or a laugh-out-loud comedy but instead a sensitive young adult drama (with some humor thrown in) that has the same kind of quiet tone as another favorite anime of mine, Studio Ghibli’s Whisper of the Heart.

The English dub is better than most anime dubs, as is the quality animation, which is somewhere between the more cartoonish anime and the beautiful artistry of Ghibli. Directed by Mamoru Hosoda, who later directed the previously reviewed Summer Wars, this tale has both charm and some interesting additions to the time travel genre. Regardless of quality, anime most excels at creating striking visuals, and this one is no exception. The scenes of Makoto’s weeping and the shots of characters flying in slow motion in front of a moving train have stuck in my mind long after seeing it.

As is typical of time travel films, you probably shouldn’t think about it too much, since there are a number of unexplained issues. Why did Chiaki laugh at Makoto after hearing her describe finding the time travel device? If he couldn’t return to his time, where did Chiaki have to go after using up his last time leap? In the book, the boy from the future is from the year 2660, so how far in the future did Chiaki come from? It’s from a time obviously after some kind of war and the extinction of baseball, so how can he wait for her or her for him?

It’s true that the logic of the ending falls apart, but it’s touching nonetheless. By the end of the film, with Makoto again playing catch, as she had periodically through the film, I stepped back and said “I liked that movie.” Maybe you will too.

Best line (a constant theme of the film): (Makoto) “Time waits for no one.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (time travel plot holes): -4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #242 – The Abyss

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Sheffey (1977)

07 Wednesday May 2014

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When Robert Sheffey was a lad,
He didn’t think himself that bad,
But a revival made him see
The sins he didn’t know he had.
 
He asks forgiveness offered free
And tells his household happily.
His aunt feels shamed at this report,
And he departs in enmity.
 
Both Sheffey and his horse cavort
Through mountain views of every sort.
He meets some folks who offer then
A teaching job with full support.
 
He takes it but is frightened when
He’s urged to preach in front of men.
It takes tough love to help him start,
But soon he’s worthy of “Amen!”
 
He prays a still be torn apart
And makes the old bootlegger smart.
He later learns his aunt is dead,
But she had had a change of heart.
 
Years pass, and, while he treks ahead,
Forever by the Spirit led,
He spreads the Gospel of the Lord,
His territory now widespread.
 
He always comes on room and board,
And by most folks he is adored,
Although official preachers deem
Him too peculiar to reward.
 
He likes camp meetings with the theme
Of drawing hundreds to redeem.
While Sheffey wants them to endure,
Some heads hold them in low esteem.
 
A girl from one preferred detour
Becomes his wife when they are sure.
Eliza helps his constant care
Of spreading God’s most perfect cure.
 
They have a son, although the pair
Love from afar, as they’re aware.
Yet they stay close, although his treks
Take Sheffey almost everywhere.
 
An injury serves to perplex
Since he can’t stick to his projects.
He cannot ride because of age
But stays engaged in most respects.
 
He still loves the revival stage,
And so its closure sparks his rage.
He works to bring it back for years,
At last succeeding to assuage.
 
The meet goes well when it premieres,
But soon he views his greatest fears.
A smoker sets the camp on fire,
And, in flames, it disappears.
 
As he’s distracted by the pyre,
Eliza, hoping he’ll retire,
Chases him but has a fall
And joins the Lord’s eternal choir.
 
Sheffey, having lost it all,
Is heartbroken and feels so small.
Eventually, he finds God’s peace
And settles down where friends can call.
 
A young man comes to seek release
For burning the camp on some caprice,
So Sheffey offers grace before
He sees the Heav’n he helped increase.
_________________
 

Most have probably never heard of Sheffey, and that’s quite understandable. It was a college film produced by the students and staff of Bob Jones University; thus, it is highly evangelical, particularly in the beginning. My early education was from fundamentalist Protestants, and I was shown this film as part of the lesson plan one day. While my denomination has changed, I still find the film a marvelous and underappreciated period piece. It made me cry the first time I saw it (around the age of 10), and, as you’ll see from the rest of my list, I’m very partial to films that have brought me to tears, even if they don’t anymore.

I will say that the second half is better than the first. The beginning has the usual Christian motif of a directionless sinner seeing the error of his ways and coming to the Lord. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with this, but it’s overused in Christian films, and Dwight Anderson, who plays the young Sheffey, isn’t really a skilled-enough actor to make it convincing. Much of the acting is rather unprofessional, sometimes obviously contrived, but the older Sheffey, played by Harold Kilpatrick, is the most believable character, and he’s the one that matters most. It also is a little irritating that some of the characters (the aunt, the elder that refuses Sheffey a preaching license) disapprove of Sheffey’s actions for no well-explained reason. Their vague complaints seem to make them unnecessarily at fault and Sheffey the obviously right saint.

All this aside, the film has some truly wonderful elements. The somewhat feigned acting, the hymn-inspired score, and the way it is shot might have made the film seem like some low-budget affair. Instead, though it was made in 1977, it just feels like an older film, perhaps from the ‘40s or ‘50s. As with such films of yesteryear, much effort obviously went into the costumes and period details, and the script is nicely woven together with characters coming and going or being mentioned having repented years later. These conversions may be predictable but are nonetheless touching, particularly the final one standing above Sheffey’s grave.

If you don’t like movies that preach at you (as I usually don’t), you may not like Sheffey, but I find it a very impressive film for such a small college effort. Though it embellishes Sheffey’s life a bit (he had six unmentioned kids with his first wife, and he did actually get a preaching license in real life), it presents a little-shown piece of history that shouldn’t be forgotten: the circuit riders of the 1800s. Between the gorgeous Appalachian scenery and the poignant character moments, Sheffey is well worth seeing, in my book.

Best line: (Robert Sheffey) “When I get to heaven, I’m going to ask the Lord why He made a woman’s head so hard.” (Eliza) “And He’ll tell you it’s to make up for your soft one.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (spiritual value, plus it made me cry): +4
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #243 – The Girl Who Leapt through Time (2006)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

100 Followers and Counting!