Men in Black Trilogy (1997, 2002, 2012)

10 Wednesday Sep 2014

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(Spoilers ahead)
 
The Men in Black are men with knacks
For stopping alien attacks.
Unknown to all, unseen, unheeded,
Wiping memories when needed,
They guard the earth from cosmic slime,
Quite often in the nick of time.
 
When Agent K hears tell one day
How one cop kept up with his prey,
He gives this James a valued chance
To prove his monster-fighting stance.
Though James is different from the rest,
He outshines all the best of the best.
 
A bug from space then steals a face
To blend in with the human race.
He seeks a galaxy to spoil
And kills an otherworldly royal.
 
The new recruit, who wants to shoot,
Investigates this “Edgar suit.”
A visit to the morgue presents
A corpse’s worrying contents.
 
Then, tit for tat, they all learn that
The galaxy is on a cat.
The bug takes it with hostage too
And plans to bid the earth adieu.
 
But J and K force him to stay
And make him angry, by the way.
K has to dig down deep inside
To leave the insect liquefied.
 
They’ve saved the earth, for what it’s worth,
But no one knows to offer mirth.
J now can face this world so vast,
And K can now retire at last.
_______________
 
The Men in Black are back in black
To stop another space attack.
A worm in supermodel guise
Desires a Light that’s cloaked in lies.
 
When Agent J is told that K
Alone knows details few can say,
He jogs K’s memory with haste,
Which earlier had been erased.
 
Serleena, who a young K knew,
Ensnares the MIB HQ,
And J and K must follow clues
To find the Light that she pursues.
 
It is opined a girl they find
Is not in fact of humankind.
The two must fight Serleena’s might
To rescue Laura, who’s the Light.
 
She must depart but waits to start,
And her migration breaks J’s heart.
They blow Serleena from the air
And get back to Earth’s watchful care.
__________________
 
The Men in Black again are back
To keep the timeline on its track.
When Boris gets some help to break
From lunar jail (don’t trust the cake),
He tries to kill K in the past,
Which changes history quite fast.
 
Since somehow J remembers K
And Boglodites are on their way,
J time-leaps with a strange device
Which proves surprisingly precise.
The ‘60s K considers him,
Although J’s evidence is slim.
 
They’re soon aware of when and where
Their foe will strike before he’s there.
They meet one Griffin, who can see
Each future possibility.
 
From him they get the prized ArcNet
To save Earth from invasion’s threat,
But now it must get into space
To activate and save our race.
 
The moon launch grants the perfect chance;
To Cape Canaveral they advance.
Both past and future Boris try
To stop the duo once they’re high.
 
The black-clad men from now and then
Succeed in saving Earth again;
The Borises and Boglodites
Fortuitously lose their fights.
 
A tragedy J gets to see
Confirms K’s latent sympathy.
Returning home, J’s glad to find
The friend with whom he saved mankind.
_________________
 

What can I say about the Men in Black films? They’re funny, weird, frequently gross, action-packed, mind-blowing, occasionally touching, and overall the best sci-fi/comedy/buddy movie mash-up I’ve seen. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith make a perfect straight-man/funny-man team, and their differing reactions to all the bizarreness they encounter are priceless.

The first film was a huge success, both critically and commercially. Contributing a lighter tone to the Marvel/Malibu-published comic book on which it was based, the film lets its two leads bounce off each other effortlessly, fueled by a golden script. Their odd-couple chemistry is matched only by the amazing special effects and Oscar-winning make-up from Rick Baker. The first Men in Black is the most difficult to critique because it’s the closest to being downright perfect. The performances are infectiously fun, the villain (Vincent D’Onofrio) is brilliantly wicked and disgusting, the comic one-liners and hilarious situations are now classics (that rocket car scene with Elvis especially), and the whole film is simply inspired, from the way Siobhan Hogan pronounces “Eggar suit” to the straightforward method K uses to retrieve his swallowed gun. It’s also intermittently shocking in its gooey violence, particularly with Tony Shalhoub’s head-shooting scenes. (By the way, minor Lost alert: Fredric Lehne, the INS agent whom Mikey the alien charges at the beginning, played U.S. Marshall Edward Mars on my favorite show.)

The second film, released on the heels of the animated television show’s cancellation, is sorely lacking in several regards. The villainess is an alien-turned-lingerie model, whose gross scenes are more squirm-inducing than intimidating, and K’s supposed happy ending is dissolved by the lazy explanation that his wife left him. Likewise, there is more of a focus on the worm guys and Frank the pug, potentially irritating characters that are better taken in small doses, as the first film did. Beyond that, many of K’s clues to himself seem rather arbitrary, and by the end, when the fate of the world depends on Laura launching away, both J and K can do nothing but stare regretfully at her. All that’s not to say that the second one is without redeeming value. I loved the scenes with Jeff the giant subway worm and Agent M’s cameo, and Rosario Dawson is naively beautiful as Laura, though it’s unclear what her ultimate fate is when she returns to the home planet she’s never visited. Overall, Men in Black II felt like a direct-to-video-quality effort that didn’t need to be made.

Still, without MIIB, we would never have gotten MIB3, which breathed some new life into the franchise, though whether it paved the way for another sequel or served as an agreeable conclusion is still undecided. I’ve made no secret about my love for time travel, and throwing this device into the plot was genius. Though I once thought that no one could fill the shoes of Smith or Jones, Josh Brolin is incredible as a younger version of K and smoothly inhabits the stoic persona Jones wore so well. It’s not quite as funny as the first film, but Jemaine Clement’s Boris the Animal is a worthily nasty MIB villain, and the finale that works in the 1969 moon launch is outstanding, as is the emotional twist absent from the other two films. As with any time travel story, there are details to quibble over, but that’s for another post maybe. (Though I do wonder why they needed to use Apollo 11 to get the ArcNet into space. With all the aliens already on Earth, did the MIB really not have access to a spaceship of some kind? Also, the question of what made K “this way” is never fully answered, but it seems obvious from the second film. He became grumpy and emotionless most likely because Serleena killed the alien monarch he loved, but maybe that’s too obvious.)

Men in Black didn’t need to be a trilogy, but despite the weaknesses of the second, I’m glad it was, if only for the timey-wimey third film. The original movie remains a high point in modern science fiction, and a lesser staple of pop culture.

Best line from MIB: (Beatrice, Edgar’s wife, when two FBI agents come calling) “You here to make fun of me too?”
(deadpan K) “No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of. May we come in?”
 
Best line from MIIB: (Laura, after a fight) “Half the time you were on your back!”
(J) “That’s how I fight.”
 
Best line from MIB3: (Griffin, played by Michael Stuhlbarg) “A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 10
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 9
Watchability: 10
Other (language, violence, sexual dialogue): -5
 
TOTAL: 50 out of 60
 

Next: #124 – Ghost

© 2014 S. G. Liput

203 Followers and Counting!

 

The Music Man (1962)

08 Monday Sep 2014

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(Best sung to “Seventy-six Trombones”)
 
Traveling salesmen’s livings are hard enough
Without the bad name con men imply,
Such as a boy’s band shill named Professor Harold Hill,
Who gives River City, Iowa, a try.
 
Most of the townsfolk fall for his big charade,
But a couple of holdouts hold on to doubt,
Such as the rumored shrew named Miss Marian Paroo,
The librarian that Harold must check out.
 
Hill begins to woo Miss Marion and all the town,
Finagling, inveigling, every chance he gets.
Instruments and uniforms turn every frown
Upside down, banishing all regrets.
 
Though she tries to fight his magnetism all the way,
Still he tries family ties to convince the lass.
Generating hopeful trends and turning enemies to friends,
He signs up young boys to join his class.
 
When he at last has romanced Miss Marion,
Harold sees he’s been romanced as well.
As he has second thoughts, a rival foe connects the dots
And reveals that Hill has naught to sell.
 
Conquered by love, Hill’s caught by an angry mob,
And he must face the music he’s made.
As the kids poorly play, parental pleasure saves the day,
And they all proceed in a parade!
_________________
 

The Music Man is one of the great musicals of the stage and screen, and it happens to be one of my dad’s favorite movies. Seriously, he gets oddly gleeful at random little details, such as the smitten sighs of Marion and her mother. While that’s a little overboard, The Music Man is indeed a fine example of a faithful musical film adaptation.

Very few actors completely own their roles (Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady, Yul Brynner in The King and I), but Robert Preston originated the role of Professor Harold Hill and brings such incomparable charisma that no one can touch him. (Sorry, Matthew Broderick, your remake just can’t compare.) Likewise, Shirley Jones is impeccable as the gradually converted Marian the librarian, as are all the actors, including Paul Ford as the tongue-tied Mayor Shinn, Hermione Gingold as his priggish wife, Buddy Hackett as Hill’s accomplice Marcellus, Pert Kelton as Marion’s extremely Irish mother, the play’s Buffalo Bills as a barbershop quartet Hill forms, and little Andy–Griffith-aged Ronny Howard as Marion’s young lisping brother. Many characters possess a distinct song or background theme that punctuates their scenes; no wonder the film won the Oscar for best adapted score. (Side note: Shirley Jones was pregnant for much of the film shoot, which is skillfully hidden throughout the film. When she and Preston shared their kiss at the foot bridge, he actually felt the unborn Patrick Cassidy kick. Ironically, that same Patrick Cassidy will soon play Professor Harold Hill in a seven-state tour alongside his mother, now playing Marion’s mother.)

A few songs are less-than-memorable, such as “The Sadder but Wiser Girl” and “Being in Love,” but for the most part the film is practically one inspired hit after another. The songs by former John Philip Sousa bandmember Meredith Willson rely less on rhyme and more on rhythm, best demonstrated in the opening salesman song “Rock Island,” which perfectly matches the cadence of a locomotive. The soundtrack is replete with subsequent classics, from “Iowa Stubborn” to “Gary, Indiana” to “The Wells Fargo Wagon” to Buddy Hackett’s nonsensically titled showstopper “Shipoopi.” The best have got to be Preston’s slickly articulate “Ya Got Trouble,” his captivating dance number “Marian the Librarian,” and of course the Sousa-esque “Seventy-six Trombones.” The astounding, Tony-winning choreography by Onna White (Oliver!, Mame, 1776) is matched by some dynamic camerawork that follows the dancers in wide circles (along with some novel overhead shots) and captures the extended cavorting that must have taken much work to accomplish so seamlessly.

While slow in a few parts, The Music Man is a joy to watch, a testament to how mesmerizing swindlers can be and how satisfying it is when someone places enough belief and love in them to make them want to mend their ways. It may not be as high on my list as my dad would like, but I certainly see why it makes him so giddy—for the most part.

Best line: (Harold Hill, after Marion tries putting off his advances) “Oh, my dear little librarian, you pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to make today worth remembering.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 50 out of 60
 

Next: #125 – Men in Black trilogy

© 2014 S. G. Liput

201 Followers and Counting!

 

Ghostbusters (1984)

07 Sunday Sep 2014

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Peter Venkman, Ray, and Egon
Study strange phenomena,
ESP and ghostly sightings,
Things to make you drop your jaw.
 
When they lose their college funding,
Business is their next endeavor,
Catching floating apparitions
With devices odd and clever.
 
Soon they get an early nibble
(Which they then put off till later):
Dana Barrett’s seeing creatures
In her home refrigerator.
 
When they capture their first specter,
Calls begin to flood the lines.
New York seems to be attracting
Unexpected eerie signs.
 
He and Dana hit it off,
More or less (it grows with time).
They confine all ghosts they find,
Fighting through recurrent slime.
 
When the EPA comes calling,
Blasting them for violations,
They turn off the storage system,
Loosing phantom infestations.
 
In the meantime, Dana’s fallen
To the demon Zuul’s possession.
She and neighbor Louis Tully
Plan for Gozer’s near aggression.
 
As an otherworldly portal
Helps the ancient god appear,
All Ghostbusters block its way
Until it makes a friend a fear.
 
As a mountainous marshmallow
Wrecks New York, they roast it well,
Rescuing New York and Dana
From phantasms raising hell.
“Who you gonna call” for hauntings?
We all know the famous yell.
________________
 

Many, including my VC, will probably scoff at my not including Ghostbusters in my top 100. I know it’s extremely popular, utterly quotable, and uniquely entertaining, but it simply is not among my top comedies. The best explanation I can give is that I find the film more often amusing than laugh-out-loud hilarious.

Nonetheless, the story of apparition exterminators has rightfully earned a place on countless other top lists, including #28 of AFI’s top comedies. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Harold Ramis are in their prime with a clever script by the latter two, and Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, Rick Moranis, and Ernie Hudson add to the prodigious star power. A few rather dated effects are luckily overshadowed by some impressive pyrotechnics and a few haunting effects that look admittedly real (exploding eggs, flying library cards). Amid all the comedy are also some authentically frightening scenes, such as Dana’s armchair seizure. The refrigerator scene even possibly inspired a later horror film The Refrigerator about a chilled portal to hell. (“Generally, you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.”)

Some may insist that Ghostbusters ought to be higher, but I still enjoy its blend of comedy and bloodless horror, though I don’t care for its more demonic elements. I do have to include Ray Parker’s “Ghostbusters” in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Thirty years later, Ghostbusters remains as classic a haunt as ever.

Best line: (Ray, after they accidentally fry a maid cart that startled them) “I think we’d better split up.”
(Egon) “Good idea.”
(Peter) “Yeah. We can do more damage that way.”
 
VC’s best line: (Ray) “What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God-type stuff.”
(Peter) “Exactly.”
(Ray) “Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!”
(Egon) “Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…”
(Winston) “The dead rising from the grave!”
(Peter) “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 10
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 10
Other (language, demonic elements): -2
 
TOTAL: 50 out of 60
 

Next: #126 – The Music Man

© 2014 S. G. Liput

198 Followers and Counting

 

The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman (1974)

06 Saturday Sep 2014

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Miss Jane is one hundred and ten years old,
And one writer asks for her story untold.
As Civil Rights tensions are rising nearby,
She tells of her life with a glistening eye.
 
She grew up a slave and remembered the day
When freedom was hers once the Blue beat the Gray.
She tried heading north amid unfriendliness
And gained a young boy but made little progress.
 
Adopting this Ned as her own, they both grew,
And Ned dreamed of teaching, displeasing a slew
Of dangerous Kluxes. Not wanting to grieve,
His mother convinced him to finally leave.
 
As further years passed, Jane found romance with Joe,
A horse trainer killed when he would not lie low.
When Ned returned home with a family as well,
He would not mince words, and by shotgun he fell.
 
Some decades went by, which she does recollect,
And Jane’s age and wisdom demanded respect.
The spellbound reporter can’t help but admire
This well-seasoned woman and her life entire.
 
When she hears of close violence, wholly improper,
She goes into town, and no one can stop her.
She drinks from the fountain reserved just for whites,
Achieving a final stand for civil rights.
__________________
 

The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman is a landmark film, one of the first television movies to focus on history from the perspective of black Americans, coming three years before the more well-known miniseries Roots. Cicely Tyson gives a double-Emmy-winning performance as Miss Jane, both as a young woman and a scratchy-voiced 110-year-old elder, and the scenes involving the departure and return of her son are especially touching. Stan Winston and Rick Baker, known for creature effects in Star Wars and Men in Black, created the Emmy-winning make-up, which convincingly transforms the 40-year-old Tyson into a believable relic of a bygone century. (Interesting fact: Thalmus Rasulala plays the older version of Tyson’s adoptive son Ned, but, when both of them starred in Roots three years later, they were married, playing Kunta Kinte’s African parents.)

The film is somewhat similar to another meet-‘em-and-move-on film, 1970’s Little Big Man, in detailing the extended, frequently sad life story of a make-up-laden interviewee, but it depicts the struggles of postbellum African-Americans rather than Native Americans. Jane meets a number of influential people, a kind Union soldier who bestows on her a freed name, a difficult plantation owner bent on keeping her husband close by, an accented acquaintance willing to murder anyone. These rather short character moments heighten the sense of realism since life is so much more than just the big connections (parent, husband, child, etc.) Sadly, all of these relationships end in heartache, since Jane foresees the arrival of grief but is powerless to stop it, lamely pleading for her loved ones to listen without giving any explanation why.

The highlight of the film that makes everything before worthwhile is the final and most famous scene at the water fountain. Miss Jane makes a wordless demonstration, and even if the officers glaring at her are probably unaware of the full extent of her sorrows, it’s clear that her long life had earned her this one boon, this one silent and peaceful protest, this one chance to lead, however brief. It’s a small but extraordinarily triumphant moment.

Between Cicely Tyson’s emotional performance and the realistic make-up, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman is a sometimes mournful, sometimes inspiring meet-‘em-and-move-on that proves the power made-for-television films can carry.

Best line: (the aged Miss Jane, to the reporter, perhaps comparing herself to the tree) “But an old oak like this one here, that’s been here all these years and knows more than you’ll ever know, it ain’t craziness, son; it’s just the nobility you respects.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #127 – Ghostbusters

© 2014 S. G. Liput

197 Followers and Counting

 

Regarding Henry (1991)

05 Friday Sep 2014

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A lawyer focused on his work,
Henry Turner is a jerk.
His daughter’s mishaps only irk,
For he cannot relate.
While out one evening, Henry’s shot;
His damaged brain must be retaught
The simple tasks that it forgot,
For he’s a now blank slate.
 
A therapist named Bradley stays
With Henry through his hardest days,
Encouraging with jolly praise
When Henry makes progress.
Recovery’s a distant hope,
And his wife Sarah has to cope
And manage the financial slope
Since they’re now earning less.
 
Though Henry ends up walking tall,
He can’t remember much at all,
And though at first he wants to stall,
He goes back home at last.
Soon back at work out of respect,
He’s like a child, which they suspect.
With Ritz his favorite art subject,
He’s not like in the past.
 
But with his daughter Rachel, he
Connects again, which helps him be
A friend and dad with courtesy,
Which she had always lacked.
Since Henry cannot just ignore
His former dealings, he learns more
And doesn’t like himself before
Or what he did, in fact.
 
Though home life’s happy, it is there
He learns of Sarah’s past affair.
He’s more perturbed when others share
That he had secrets too.
To move on from regret and spite,
He quits and tries to set things right.
The Turner family’s seen the light
And will start over new.
__________________
 

This is a film to which my VC introduced me, and over time I’ve begun liking it even more than she does. While he will always be best-known for his crowd-pleasing action roles, I can honestly say that this is Harrison Ford’s best dramatic performance. Directed by Mike Nichols, Regarding Henry is one of a hard-to-define subgenre that I can only call a “quiet movie,” a “sleeper” devoid of explosions or extreme dramatic tension but rife with endearing characterization that leaves me with that coveted I-enjoyed-that-movie reaction.

The beginning is a bit slow and doesn’t quite give a full picture of Henry’s relationships with his wife and daughter, but ultimately his past self is less important than who he becomes. Once the attack occurs (he’s shot by John Leguizamo), the film becomes a fond testimonial for the role physical therapists play in the shattered lives of the injured. Bradley, played by Bill Nunn of Sister Act, displays a saintly patience and love for his job and those he assists, and it’s no wonder that Henry didn’t want to leave him at first.

Harrison Ford’s acting extends from the usual businessman role he’s done before to natural childish fear and wonder during the hard road of recovery. He relearns walking, talking, eating, and all the things we take for granted. While he brings these struggles to life, Annette Bening also excels at illustrating the overwhelming distress at seeing her ever-professional husband reduced to a drooling invalid.

Ford’s hesitant, nuanced performance, sometimes funny, often poignant, is the heart of the film, and by the time he reconnects with his family, we’re meant to regard his trauma as an unexpected improvement in their lives. A twist near the end clarifying some obvious product placement was not well-received by some critics, who considered it almost comical, but Henry’s reaction to it is ultimately satisfying, ending the film on a singularly feel-good note.

Praise was reserved and accolades were few, but Regarding Henry remains my favorite non-action Harrison Ford film. Perhaps my partiality is due to a major but hidden Lost alert: the great J. J. Abrams himself wrote the screenplay (one of his first, credited as Jeffrey Abrams) and even appears briefly as a delivery boy when Henry wanders out of his apartment. While some may consider Regarding Henry overly sentimental and I’ve heard it described as “get shot in the head and become a better person,” it’s a sensitive, well-acted drama that I sincerely hope will not be forgotten.

Best line: (Henry, explaining why he quit his job and echoing an earlier exchange) “Well, I had enough, so I said, ‘When.’”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 6 (just the shooting scene)
Originality: 8
Watchability: 9
Other (language): -1
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #128 – The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman

© 2014 S. G. Liput

197 Followers and Counting

 

#130: Alien (1979)

04 Thursday Sep 2014

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The crew of the Nostromo are awakened from their stasis
To check an odd transmission on a purely routine basis.
When Kane discovers eggs inside an otherworldly ship,
One hatches and attaches to his face with quite a grip.
The creature later disconnects but leaves a hostile guest:
A small, elusive alien that bursts from poor Kane’s chest!
 
The crew, including Parker, Lambert, Brett, and milky Ash,
The science officer with whom one Ripley has a clash,
Attempt with Captain Dallas to detect it and pursue,
But, as the beast matures and grows, some casualties ensue.
Then Ripley learns that Ash is hiding secrets cruel and grim
And, with a little help, succeeds in neutralizing him.
 
Deciding to destroy the ship and flee aboard a shuttle,
The final three are dropped to one by Double-mouth’s rebuttal.
The ship’s computer’s counting down and Ripley cannot stay;
She clears the ship before Nostromo blows itself away.
Though stowaways are sticky, a blown air lock’s all it takes
To rid herself of aliens forever…till she wakes.
________________
 

There aren’t many scary movies on my list, but I couldn’t leave out this classic blend of sci-fi and horror. Ridley Scott’s Alien may have had myriad source materials (The Thing from Another World, Forbidden Planet, etc.), but it’s also terrifyingly original, with an interrupted dinner scene that ranks among the most shocking and memorable ever filmed. With a crew of relatable everymen, Oscar-winning visual effects, and some impressively realized sets for the Nostromo’s interior, Alien also marked the breakthrough success of director Ridley Scott.

When the film was first released, no one expected an alien to pop out of someone’s chest, and no one knew who would survive the frightful encounter, least of all newcomer Sigourney Weaver, who gained much of her fame from this first starring role as Ellen Ripley. The entire film is thick with tension, which slowly builds from the empty corridors at the beginning to the misty alien world on which the crew lands. Once the alien is released upon the unsuspecting humans, almost every scene is suffused with dread that some hideous thing could be around the next corner or camouflaged somewhere in the dark. The ambushes of Brett and Dallas are enough to give anyone nightmare; my VC has seen the film more often than I have, and she was still shaking during those scenes.

Adding to the obvious horror aspects of a hidden monster, many critics also pointed out a sexual subtext that I’d never thought of, namely that the life cycle of the alien tapped into the fear of rape, or more specifically non-consensual reproduction. It was not lost on analysts that it was a man that “gave birth” and that a woman was the hero. This served to frighten men and women alike out of their wits on multiple levels and gave women a remarkably strong example bucking the usually helpless horror archetype.

Though the film is full of language, which, along with the infamous, bloody chest-bursting scene, gained it an R rating, the rest of the movie is actually pretty restrained. Aside from Kane’s, all the other deaths are either off-screen or quickly cut to keep the audience wondering what it was they saw. It’s certainly not for kids, but it’s at least nothing like the outrageous gore fests I steer clear of. I don’t mind being scared, just being grossed-out for the sake of cheap frights.

Though the Alien franchise was run into the ground with Alien: Resurrection and the Alien vs. Predator films, the original remains an icon of both science fiction and horror, a film that countless others have tried to emulate.

Best line: (Ripley) “When we throw the switches, how long before the ship blows?”
(Parker) “Ten minutes.”
(Ripley) “No b***s***?”
(Parker) “We ain’t outta here in ten minutes, we won’t need no rocket to fly through space.”

 

Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
Other (language, violence): -2
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #129 – Regarding Henry

© 2014 S. G. Liput

195 Followers and Counting

 

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)

03 Wednesday Sep 2014

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Benjamin Gates, the renowned treasure hunter,
Must rescue his family from shame.
One Mitch Wilkinson, who could not have been blunter,
Has soiled his ancestor’s name.
 
While solving some puzzles and locating clues,
Ben travels from nation to nation
Along with his girlfriend, who helps with a ruse,
And Riley, who seeks commendation.
 
But Mitch has his eye on an Indian treasure,
Which Ben feels he has to unearth,
A city of gold with a price beyond measure,
Yet Mitch believes fame has more worth.
 
Two Resolute desks contain planks, or they should,
Which hold the most vital of clues,
But since one is missing this requisite wood,
Ben now has a hard path to choose.
 
The crucial info’s in the President’s book,
Which none but the President knows,
So Ben kidnaps him to solicit a look
To see where the rabbit hole goes.
 
He gets what he needs to continue the quest,
And trickery gains Mitch the same.
They meet at Mount Rushmore, where nobody’s guessed
A treasure lies under its frame.
 
Through dark, ancient tunnels and booby-trapped halls,
They journey where few men have been
To find the gold city before waterfalls
Start flooding the chamber they’re in.
 
Not everyone makes it, but when they emerge
And Ben is then cleared of his crime,
The new treasure offers an artifact surge,
The second best find of all time.
_________________
 

I loved the first National Treasure, which is essentially a more history-focused, clean, and modern version of Indiana Jones, with Nicholas Cage in one of his best roles as living encyclopedia Benjamin Gates. I was eager to see the sequel, and, for all intents and purposes, it delivered everything I was hoping for: historical insight, conspiracy theories no one takes seriously, Bruckheimer-esque action sequences, plainspoken humor, and an all-around enjoyable film experience. Almost everything that made the first film great and immensely watchable is present in Book of Secrets…almost.

The one thing that National Treasure 2 lacks is a good reason for the treasure hunt. The filmmakers needed to have a cause for Ben to begin his risky profession again, and they made some unfortunate leaps in logic to make it all work. I understand Ben’s desire to clear his great-great-grandfather’s name, but how exactly does finding the treasure do that? Likewise, after he’s kidnapped the President, he is told that he must uncover the treasure to clear his own name, but, as stated by Sadusky (still a laid-back Harvey Keitel), how does that erase his federal crime? If the President could just wipe his slate clean with his revised story at the end, why didn’t he just do that to begin with instead of pinning everything on the treasure? The actual treasure hunt is educational and riveting, but the setup that keeps urging its importance is full of holes. Also, Ed Harris as Mitch is a lesser villain, compared with the first film’s Ian, played by Sean Bean; whereas Ian wanted the hoard itself and was actually smart enough to find clues and possibly the treasure on his own, Mitch lets Ben do all the work and desires merely the credit for finding the trove.

Like with Home Alone 2, it sounds like all I’m doing is criticizing this sequel, but I really do enjoy it. The familiar actors, including Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, and Jon Voight, plus new addition Helen Mirren, seem to be having fun right along with their characters, such as during a psych-out reminiscent of the electric fence scene in Jurassic Park. The action is expertly done, including a rather drawn-out car chase, another farewell-to-bumpers chase scene, and an astounding balancing set piece that reminded me of the Oscar-winning German animated short film Balance from 1989. I also enjoy the historical locations, including the Library of Congress and Mount Rushmore; I’ve visited the latter myself, as well as Sylvan Lake, and I always smile when the film indicates the lake is behind Mount Rushmore. (It’s nearby, but not that close.)

Overall, National Treasure 2 is another entertaining history lesson. Whether or not we ever find out what was on page 47 in a hoped-for third National Treasure, at least the existing two will continue to entertain history geeks like me.

Best line: (Ben, answering why the President should help him) “And because you’re the President of the United States, sir. Whether by innate character or the oath you took to defend the Constitution or the weight of history that falls upon you, I believe you to be an honorable man, sir.”
(The President, played by Bruce Greenwood) “Gates, people don’t believe that stuff anymore.”
(Ben) “They want to believe it.”

 

Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 10
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 7
Watchability: 10
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #130 – Alien

© 2014 S. G. Liput

195 Followers and Counting

 

The Polar Express (2004)

02 Tuesday Sep 2014

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On Christmas Eve, a boy must leave
Because he just will not believe
In Santa or the Christmas lore
He’s heard a million times before.
 
A polar train to ascertain
If he can overcome disdain
Appears outside, and as implied,
The boy accepts a sudden ride.
 
Within he meets on cushioned seats
Both girls and boys from other streets.
One girl around with faith profound
Proclaims their train is North Pole-bound.
 
As they commute upon their route,
Once they pick up one last recruit,
The perils flow, from ice and snow
To tunnel roofs that loom too low.
 
A friendly ghost who’s quick to boast
Assists the hero as his host.
Despite each scare and dire snare,
They reach the Pole with time to spare.
 
The elves and they know where to stay
To hear what Santa has to say,
But our main three are broken free
And tour the big man’s factory.
 
Arriving back in Santa’s sack,
The boy attains belief some lack.
A silver bell that slowly fell
Is granted him before farewell.
 
The bell slips out somewhere en route,
Which may have caused the boy some doubt,
But it appears, and through the years,
Grants music to believers’ ears.
__________________
 

The Polar Express endeavors to be an experience, a wild ride of wonder, rather than just another Christmas cartoon. Directed by Robert Zemeckis, who utilized the still-developing motion-capture technology to lend more realism to the characters’ movements and facial expressions, The Polar Express is beautiful to behold, much like the 2009 A Christmas Carol. Just as Jim Carrey filled multiple roles in that film, Tom Hanks owns several faces, including the Hero Boy (who is voiced by Spy Kids’ Daryl Sabara), his father, the Conductor, the Hobo, and ol’ Saint Nick himself.

The Polar Express is based off of Chris Van Allsburg’s popular children’s picture book, but it exceeds the already evocative images Allsburg produced. At times, the film becomes a literal roller coaster, almost like one of those virtual simulator rides without the cabin agitation, while other moments seem gloriously picturesque, such as the shot of the train winding its way up a spiraling mountain. There are frequent edge-of-your-seat sequences that are genuinely thrilling, from the train’s foray onto ice to a rooftop ski ride with some serious close calls. In addition to all this, the portrayal of the North Pole and Santa’s workshop is my personal favorite of any Christmas film, amazingly detailed and designed with both utility and fun in mind. As the three main kids explore, joyriding in pneumatic tubes and an awesome-looking funnel that always makes me jealous, I can’t help but wonder why this film was never used to create an actual theme park ride (as far as I know).

The characters are not especially deep: a lonely boy with no friends, a brave girl needing more confidence to be a leader, the main boy who has a problem believing what’s right in front of his eyes. Still, they remain relatable and likable enough as they encounter several mysterious grown-ups who never explain everything fully.

Many critics decried the film as being overly creepy, and indeed there are some rather unsettling parts (a walk through a maze of glassy-eyed marionettes, a skipping record in a deserted village). Even so, A Christmas Carol has some potentially disturbing imagery as well, which doesn’t detract from its yuletide message, and the message of The Polar Express is the importance of belief and wonder. Even on a secular level, Christmas is a time for cynicism to be cast aside to allow innocent hope and goodwill to reign, and the film encapsulates this lesson into a perfect gift: the bell. When I was growing up, we had a bell that my mom claimed she couldn’t hear; even if she could, this provided me with an exciting prospect, that belief could open doors imperceptible to others. The Polar Express may be a rather worldly Christmas film, but such a message of faith is rare nowadays.

Best line: (the Conductor) “Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #131 – National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

© 2014 S. G. Liput

194 Followers and Counting

 

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

01 Monday Sep 2014

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Sam Baldwin is a widower still grieving for his wife,
Who moves out to Seattle to revitalize his life,
But Jonah, his young son, decides he needs help even so,
And late on Christmas Eve, he tries a widespread call-in show.
 
The conversation labels Sam as “Sleepless in Seattle,”
Who interests women everywhere, who write with pointless prattle.
One woman, though, in Baltimore, named Annie pines away,
Although she does have Walter, her allergic fiancé.
 
Her fear of being left alone is only matched, it seems,
By all her movie-molded, chance-for-true-love kind of dreams,
And Jonah tells his dad that he wants Annie for a mother
When he receives a letter that surpasses any other.
 
Since Annie is intrigued by Sam, she flies to take a peek
At them out in Seattle, and she feels like such a sneak.
Just like a certain chick flick, Jonah ventures to arrange
A Valentine’s Day meeting in New York, to force a change.
 
He flies there, seeking Annie, and Sam follows, panicking,
While Annie breaks with Walter for a love that fate may bring.
Atop a famous building, Sam and Annie chance to meet,
And Jonah is content that now his family is complete.
________________
 

Sleepless in Seattle is more proof that Nora Ephron put rom coms on a whole new level (before Matthew McConaughey got ahold of the genre). Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are the perfect pair, as someone must have thought after viewing Joe vs. the Volcano, and, though they spend most of Sleepless apart, they’re clearly M.F.E.O. (made for each other).

The actual plot is not particularly eventful, but the characters and dialogue effortlessly hold the viewer’s attention. Ephron excelled most at devising realistic, often funny conversations that could easily have been drawn from real life, private exchanges between girlfriends and guy friends and spouses. Yet no one verbalizes that dialogue as memorably as Hanks and Ryan. The screenplay might just say “Annie sings ‘Sleigh Ride’ while driving,” and we get Ryan’s amusing chorus of “Horses, horses, horses, horses.” Plus, while the film could have characterized him as a jerk, it makes Bill Pullman likable enough as Walter to not cause viewers to wonder what Annie sees in him; he’s one of those awkward but all-around nice guys that just doesn’t happen to be her one.

While Sleepless in Seattle could be considered a “chick movie,” as Hanks calls An Affair to Remember, it’s self-aware enough to still be entertaining for guys too, at least in my case, such as the scene in which Suzy gushes about that Cary Grant tearjerker, with Hanks and Victor Garber exchanging “puh-leaze” glances. Hanks’s dramatic remembrance of his deceased wife and his manly repartee mostly balances out Ryan’s feminine chats.

All the relationships feel entirely real, from Sam’s imperfect fathering of Jonah to Annie’s volatile discussions with her friend Becky (played by Rosie O’Donnell). Sleepless in Seattle is unabashedly romantic and presents one of film’s most hopeful propositions of true love. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan forever!

Best line: (Sam, as he is reentering dating) “What is ‘tiramisu’?”
(his friend Jay) “You’ll find out.”
(Sam) “Well, what is it?”
(Jay) “You’ll see!”
(Sam) “Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her, and I’m not gonna know what it is!”

 

Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 8
Watchability: 10
Other (language): -1
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #132 – The Polar Express (another Tom Hanks movie)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

194 Followers and Counting

 

Rocky (1976)

31 Sunday Aug 2014

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Rocky Balboa’s a bum,
Who thinks himself brutish and dumb.
Some nights he spends fighting,
Which proves unexciting
And leaves him all sore in his slum.
 
He tries to cajole and impress
His friend Paulie’s sis, with success,
But no one, you see,
Takes him seriously
Or thinks he will ever progress.
 
But then the world champ has a need
For someone to box him with speed.
Some fame he will loan
To a total unknown,
Who’ll have a chance battling Creed.
 
But Rocky is shocked at the chance
When he is hand-picked in advance,
And Mick at the gym
Then requests to train him
And no longer eyes him askance.
 
Rock trains, jogging down every street,
And spends his days pounding on meat.
He swallows eggs raw,
And the dogged southpaw
Soon is ready to fight the elite.
 
Though no one expects Rock to win,
Apollo Creed loses his grin,
When he stands, toe to toe,
In a fight, not a show,
And frets at the bell’s every din.
 
The punchy pair pummels and pounds,
And when the concluding bell sounds,
Though Apollo has won,
Philly’s new favorite son
Is proud he went all fifteen rounds.
___________________
 

With all the entertaining but formulaic sequels that threatened to caricaturize the familiar setup, it’s easy to forget the singularity of the original underdog tale Rocky. After a few minor film roles, Sylvester Stallone essentially made his own success by conceiving the story of Rocky Balboa and insisting he play the role himself. Stallone has an unusual face that may seem blank and expressionless to some and to others expresses subtle emotion that the viewer imagines Rocky is feeling. Either way, Rocky is the closest Stallone ever got to an Oscar-worthy performance.

Compared to Stallone’s more dynamic direction of the next three sequels, director John G. Avildsen takes a much slower pace with several long scenes lacking music, which is sometimes boring and sometimes perfectly utilized, such as in the famous raw egg scene. Rewatching the film again, after seeing the sequels so often, I was reminded of just how low Rocky was before fortune smiled on him and how he essentially owed everything to Apollo, who chose him specifically based on his rhyming moniker, the Italian Stallion. Indeed, Rocky probably would have remained a bum had it not been for a random gift of Providence.

Compared with later entries in the series, the fight scenes aren’t the best, and sometimes the soundless punches are clearly not landing, but the film is about more than the sport. It’s a story of a dream come true, at once realistic, romantic, and improbable, and at the end of the original training montage with that memorable “Gonna Fly Now” anthem, Rocky stands at the top of those stairs, imagining all the possibilities that success could bring, such as the crowd of cheering kids that would join him by the same point in the second film. Though they ignored Rocky’s and Apollo’s declaration that there would be no rematch, the sequels fill a purpose in showing how far Rocky succeeds (except for the depressing fifth one, also directed by Avildsen), but the original Best Picture winner packs just the right emotional punch.

Best line: (Mickey, during the final fight) “Your nose is broken.”
(Rocky) “How does it look?”
(Mickey) “Ah, it’s an improvement.”

 

Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (iconic theme song; the beginning of a winning series): +7
 
TOTAL: 49 out of 60
 

Next: #133 – Sleepless in Seattle

© 2014 S. G. Liput

194 Followers and Counting