The job of the IMF agent
Before he or she needs a coffin
Is mounting impossible missions
For heroes no danger can soften,
Yet lately the best of the bravest
Have been going rogue far too often.

I can’t speak to why these trained agents
Are letting their loyalty lapse,
More focused on garnering riches
Than keeping the world from collapse,
But IMF might try improving
Their benefits package perhaps.
_________________

MPAA rating: PG-13

Now for the second Mission: Impossible film, the one that seems to be widely considered the most inferior of the bunch. I can see why. Mission: Impossible II isn’t necessarily awful, but it’s highly inconsistent, only sometimes feeling like an actual M: I installment as opposed to a rip-off of ‘90s James Bond.

In this entry, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise in his thankfully brief long-haired phase) must vie against a rogue IMF agent (Dougray Scott) who aims to steal a deadly bio-engineered virus called Chimera.  I could tell early that this entry would have problems. We first see Ethan free-climbing a high rock formation in the Utah desert, and while it shows off Cruise’s impressive strength for stunts, it also inadvertently echoes that other worst-movie-in-its-series, Star Trek V, which also features Kirk free-climbing in Yosemite. After that, Ethan recruits a thief named Nyah (Thandie Newton) for his team and engages in some awkward scenes of innuendo and seduction that strengthen the James Bond comparison I made earlier and just don’t feel like Mission: Impossible.

It’s not these faults that drag down M:I 2 the most; that can be summed up in two words: slow motion. I don’t know if this is a trademark of director John Woo or what, but the slow-mo scenes are distractingly frequent, from the long sultry looks exchanged when Ethan first sees Nyah to the mid-action interludes that are thrown in as if to say to the audience, “Look at this! Isn’t it cool?” Sometimes it is admittedly very cool, but there are plenty of other movies that have used slow-mo more judiciously. Except for The Matrix, it’s best when such scenes don’t draw attention to themselves.

I don’t mean to sound like I hated it. Around the midpoint, it does hit its stride with another spy heist that is even more like the one in National Treasure than the first M:I film. And the slow motion aside, the action scenes are still thrilling, while the face mask tactics are even more entertainingly clever, though I’m starting to wonder how those convincing face masks can be applied so quickly.

There’s extra epicness to the music this time around, and the cast is strong as well, especially the returning uber-competence of Cruise and Ving Rhames and a surprising uncredited role for Anthony Hopkins; plus, I must mention a Lost alert for William Mapother (whose island role was named Ethan, oddly enough) as one of the villain’s henchmen. Despite the world-threatening perils, though, the plot feels strangely shallow, thanks mainly to the short-term chemistry of Thandie Newton, who I don’t believe is in the rest of the sequels. M:I 2 is a good effort, but it ultimately takes the series in a less interesting direction that I sincerely hope the other films will rectify.

Best line: (Mission Commander Swanbeck) “Mr. Hunt, this isn’t mission difficult, it’s mission impossible. ‘Difficult’ should be a walk in the park for you.”

Rank: Honorable Mention

© 2018 S.G. Liput
588 Followers and Counting

Missions preventing or triggering wars
Are shrouded in subterfuge no one explores,
And those who enact them
Are quick to redact them
With names only spoken behind their closed doors.

Missions accomplished with such secrecy
Are kept as discreet as we need them to be.
And though you and I
Never know how or why,
Such missions are part of what keeps us all free.
__________________

MPAA rating: PG-13

It seems that any franchise I didn’t watch growing up simply has to work up enough buzz for me to finally catch up on it. I’d heard that the first three Mission: Impossible movies had mixed reviews, but with three critically acclaimed entries in more recent years, I think it’s finally time for me to see if Tom Cruise’s spy thrillers are all they’re cracked up to be. I was pleasantly surprised last year when I watched the latest Planet of the Apes trilogy, so I’m hoping for good things. My mission, if I choose to accept it, is to watch all six of the M:I films in the coming weeks and review each one before seeing the next, so that I don’t get confused on which explosion or double cross happened in which sequel. But you have to start with the beginning, and that means the 1996 original.

Having never seen the 1960s-70s TV series on which it is based, I didn’t have any major expectations, aside from the famous theme music and the self-destructing tape that details a mission, if they choose to accept it. (On a side note, I always thought the tape would cause some big explosion, not just go poof with a little smoke. Isn’t it fun to learn how wrong you are sometimes?) The man listening to that tape is Jim Phelps, played by Jon Voight, but despite the presence of Voight and other stars like Emilio Estevez and Kristin Scott Thomas, we all know Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt is the star, which becomes even clearer after the mission backfires and shaves down the team considerably. Now suspected as a mole behind the sabotage, Hunt goes on the run to figure out who the real criminal mastermind is.

I suppose I’ll just come out and say it: I liked it. The British have James Bond, and Ethan Hunt is sort of his American counterpart, just with less womanizing and more disguises and hacking. As a product of the ‘90s, the technology in this first Mission: Impossible is unavoidably dated, with spies fighting over floppy disks and a hidden video early on that seemed almost like the quality of a parody. But it also has a twisty plot and the same kind of heist-style infiltration by which my beloved National Treasure was clearly inspired. Though most of the film lacks the daring stunts that the series has become known for, the climax boasts some especially thrilling (albeit CGI) action with a bullet train and a helicopter.

I do see why my parents never got me into the series early on because this first one apparently trampled all over the original they remembered, particularly the character of Jim Phelps. Those with nostalgia for the original series will likely take offense, but I as a newcomer found a lot to enjoy. I’m still not convinced whether this qualifies as List-Worthy in my book, but I’m excited to continue the series and do think that it has the potential to join my favorites. Now for the supposedly bad one, Mission: Impossible II….

Best line: (tech guy Jack Harmon, describing a gum-like explosive) “Hasta lasagna, don’t get any on ya.”

Rank: List Runner-Up (for now)

© 2018 S.G. Liput
588 Followers and Counting