Category Archives: Writing

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

14 Wednesday May 2014

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Spock is dead; I’m sure you’ve heard.
He gave his life to save the ship.
His crew sent him to Genesis
And started on their homeward trip.
 
But Kirk and friends regret their loss,
Until McCoy starts acting weird.
It seems he has Spock’s “katra” (soul),
And loss of sanity is feared.
 
Spock’s father says Kirk needs to find
Spock’s body, both of them to save.
So Kirk and faithful crew hijack
The Enterprise, their futures grave.
 
Meanwhile, David, Kirk’s own son,
And Vulcan Saavik both explore
The planet Genesis produced,
Which isn’t perfect anymore.
 
They locate Spock, alive and young
And aging with the fluxing sphere,
But hostile Klingons blow their ship
And take the trio hostage here.
 
Kirk arrives and has a standoff
With the Klingon captain, bad.
The villain then has David killed,
And Kirk is saddened, shocked, and mad.
 
He leaves the damaged Enterprise
To let the Klingon party board
But lets his favorite ship explode
To kill most of the Klingon horde.
 
Kirk’s crew gets on the enemy’s ship
While Kirk and Klingon duke it out.
When Kirk has had enough of him,
Incineration ends the bout.
 
Escaping on the Klingon vessel,
Kirk and Spock and all their friends
See the planet blow up too,
And Project Genesis thus ends.
 
They take McCoy and Spock at last
To Vulcan for a mystic rite.
Spock remembers little, but
His friends are glad he’s back now, quite.
__________________
 

As the first Star Trek film on my list, Search for Spock is certainly not the worst of the original franchise. Two worse installments didn’t make the cut (those who have seen them will know which two), but, of the Trek movies commonly regarded as good, this one is the least impressive. That’s not to say that it is a poor film; it’s a great adventure that brings back one of the most beloved ensembles of all time for an answer to the question “What happens when you kill off the second most important character?” Answer: You resurrect him through an unexplained experiment and alien mumbo-jumbo.

It’s not just a way to continue the series by backstepping on a fateful move (to kill off Spock), it also is the tragic conclusion of Kirk’s meeting his son in Wrath of Khan. David’s death has got to be the second most poignant moment for the original series crew and continued to haunt Kirk right up to their last film. Search for Spock also marked the first time the Enterprise itself met its demise. When my mother originally saw it in the theater, during the scene where the ship starts dipping into the atmosphere, she overheard a nearby fanboy utter a devastated “Nooo.” At least they built a new one, right?

Aside from the main cast, Christopher Lloyd turns in an uncharacteristically villainous role as Kruge, the Klingon captain, who is pretty generic, to be honest, lacking a master plan or a deep-seated motive like the villains in The Undiscovered Country or Wrath of Khan. He does manage surprising intensity that proves he could do much more than humorous or crazy roles.

My quibbles here may indicate that I dislike Search for Spock, but, if that was the case, I wouldn’t have it this high on the list. I love Star Trek, and, as Trek films go, it’s in the middle of the pack, so to speak. The visual effects range from mildly impressive explosions to realistic miniatures. It’s exciting and heart-tugging, and, though the Vulcan ceremony at the end drags, the line “Your name is…Jim” concludes the film on a high note. Leonard Nimoy can be proud of it as its director (but The Voyage Home is better. Just saying.)

Best line: (Scotty, after sabotaging a fancy new ship) “Aye, sir. The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #238 – The Spiderwick Chronicles

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

#240 – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

13 Tuesday May 2014

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When Robin of Locksley returns as a team
With a Moor with a life debt to him named Azeem,
He finds England’s changed while he fought the Crusades.
He finds his home unsafe for children and maids.
 
He kills several bullies and lets a few scram,
Which angers the Sheriff who rules Nottingham.
When Robin finds out his estranged father’s dead,
He promises vengeance on this Sheriff’s head.
 
Azeem and a blind aide named Duncan attend
While Robin attempts to go visit a friend.
Maid Marian isn’t much pleased he’s alive,
Especially when Sheriff’s soldiers arrive.
 
To flee, Robin rides to the forest Sherwood,
A place that’s not haunted, just misunderstood.
He meets several bandits but doesn’t once quiver
And earns their respect with some dunks in the river.
 
He leads this small party of woodsmen to fight
And robs every wagon that comes within sight.
The Sheriff is shipping out many a bribe,
But all his gold’s stolen by Robin Hood’s tribe.
 
The outlaw gains friends and support for his pluck,
Including Maid Marian and Friar Tuck,
But Will Scarlet sends him derision galore,
While that evil Sheriff hates him ever more.
 
The Sheriff of Nottingham hires some Celts
To lay siege to Robin and everyone else.
He captures a number of men, even Will,
And plans out a nice public method to kill.
 
In order to marry Maid Marian too,
And merit the throne with her blood, which is blue,
He says he will spare a few bound for the noose
If she will soon wed him, despite his abuse.
 
The Sheriff sends Will, who he thinks is a traitor,
To find Robin’s whereabouts sooner or later,
But Will yields to Robin that he’s his half-brother,
The son of his father and some other mother.
 
While Robin is shocked, the two men make their peace
And plan the best way for the captives’ release.
Azeem gives them gunpowder; John gives them swords.
They infiltrate slyly the castle of lords.
 
Though there are some hiccups, they save everyone,
And Robin soon has Nottingham on the run.
The villain tries marrying Marian, while
Azeem and the archer are locked in the aisle.
 
When Robin breaks in, the two foes have their duel,
And Robin prevails o’er the Sheriff so cruel.
Azeem saves his life, thus repaying his debt,
And everyone’s rescued from Nottingham’s threat.
 
Once they are all done saving lives thrillingly,
Both Robin and Marian wed (willingly).
King Richard himself (someone very well-known)
Thanks Robin of Locksley for saving his throne.
___________________
 

Having seen it recently, I’d say Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves probably deserves a higher place on my list. It is not only a highly entertaining medieval romp but also my favorite cinematic version of the Robin Hood story. Removing King John entirely from the story and mixing up some relationships to make them tragically Shakespearean, the filmmakers created a film that is at once exciting, funny, romantic, and now and then stunning.

Kevin Costner is appropriately heroic and likable as Robin Hood, though his lack of English accent is a major inaccuracy to my mind, and Morgan Freeman turns in another spot-on performance as his Moorish companion Azeem. After spending so much time underwater in The Abyss, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio decided to go with an easier role as the lovely Maid Marian, who manages to be both a strong fighter and a damsel in distress. The most striking role goes to Alan Rickman, who perfectly embodies the villainy of the Sheriff of Nottingham, though, unlike Hans Gruber from Die Hard, most of Rickman’s scenes here carry a strange dichotomy of wickedness and humor. Also, you’ve got to love that cameo at the end.

I suppose a major reason I like Prince of Thieves is its balance. It doesn’t typecast its characters, or at least only minimally. The atrocities of the Muslims during the Crusades are shown during an early scene, but Azeem proves to be likable, loyal, and highly learned compared with the English. Similarly, the Bishop of Hereford is shown to be greedy and treacherous, but faithful Christianity is also extolled, though less strongly. Robin’s initial thanks to God upon returning home is a good example of this; Friar Tuck’s drunkenness, not so much.

Though Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is certainly violent, most acts of carnage are left offscreen or hidden with skillful cuts away from bloody wounds. Language is also minimal, though they threw in a lone F-bomb that surprised me greatly. Despite these elements, the film has able, if occasionally over-the-top acting; a number of good one-liners; gorgeous scenery; and a memorably majestic score by Michael Kamen. (If you’ve ever watched the opener for a Disney DVD, you’ve already heard it.) Also, Bryan Adams’s Oscar-nominated “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” surely deserves a place in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. It’s a perfect romantic wrap-up to a great movie, one of my VC’s favorites.

Best line: (blind Duncan, not having seen Azeem) “Curse those Moors and Saracens. If it wasn’t for their ungodly ways, Master Robin would never have left. What manner of name is Azeem? Scottish, Cornish?”  (Azeem, up close) “Moorish.” (Duncan’s reaction is priceless!)

VC’s Best Line: (Azeem, after foiling an ambush) “No man controls my destiny… especially not one who attacks downwind and stinks of garlic.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 8
Other (violence, languages, etc.): -4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #239 – Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (I’m moving this week so I may be delayed)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting

 

Sister Act (1992)

10 Saturday May 2014

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Deloris Van Cartier now is in danger
For seeing a murder, but not from a stranger.
Her boyfriend named Vince is a mobster, it seems,
And Reno’s not safe with his myriad schemes.
She goes to police, who have witness protection
And place her somewhere sure to ward off detection.
 
She leaves her job singing in clubs to begin
Her time in a convent, much to her chagrin.
Disguised as a nun, “Mary Clarence” prepares
To lie low and pray to the Big Guy Upstairs.
The strict Reverend Mother alone knows the truth
And dislikes Deloris, who seems so uncouth.
 
Deloris is shocked at their habits ascetic;
Their choir and parish are rather pathetic.
Befriending some nuns, she’s impelled to the choir
And tries to light up the nuns’ long-dormant fire.
The new practiced choir is unveiled at Mass
And sounds better, bringing in people who pass.
 
The old Reverend Mother thinks this is too strange,
But others are thrilled at the musical change.
Deloris and friends start to live out their calls
And help the community outside the walls.
They soon hear the Pope will be coming to hear
The Sisters, but soon Vince’s goons interfere.
 
Locating Deloris, they take her to Reno
To answer to Vince at his fancy casino.
The nuns follow after and rescue their “Sister,”
And Vince is arrested when lawmen assist her.
Deloris, to wrap up her life as a nun,
Conducts the Pope’s concert and wows everyone.
___________________
 

Sister Act is proof that Hollywood can handle religion in film without always mocking it. There are references to the nuns as “penguins” and the cliché of some nuns being overly strict killjoys, which some may indeed be. Despite these aspects, the film confirms the nuns’ way of life and service to God and man by the end. They assist the community, they earn respect even from mobsters, and, although the updated music style isn’t quite reverent enough for a church service (in my opinion), it nonetheless gives glory to God and manages to attract pedestrians into the church for the Mass’s message. On top of all this, the movie is actually funny and surprisingly clean.

From Whoopi Goldberg’s usual clever banter in the face of danger to Kathy Najimy’s overly perky Sister Mary Patrick, the film offers up some great fish-out-of-water laughs (Deloris’s prayer before the meal always earns a chuckle) alongside some memorable musical numbers. I especially like how they rewrote “My Guy” as “My God,” and the reimagined version of “Hail, Holy Queen” is truly glorious.

The best part is, despite showing Deloris’s seedy mobster boyfriend (played by Harvey Keitel), the film never shows its violence, and the language is kept at a believable minimum. Sister Act was one of Whoopi Goldberg’s best films and definitely deserves a place on my list.

Best line: (Reverend Mother, to the nuns in a Reno casino, looking for Deloris) “Brace yourselves, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 7
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #240 – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

103 Followers and Counting

 

The Abyss (1989)

09 Friday May 2014

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When a nuclear submarine sinks to a perilous depth,
The U. S. decides to send down a SEAL team for rescue.
A hurricane is coming, so time is just not on their side;
Therefore, they commission an undersea oil rig crew.
 
The hard-nosed designer named Lindsey goes down with the SEALS
To keep tabs on them and Bud Brigman, her soon-to-be ex.
While Bud and his oil rig team don’t appreciate this,
They’ll all be paid well for this most dangerous of projects.
 
They move the rig close to a seemingly bottomless trench
With orders from Coffey, the SEALs’ leading pain in the neck.
They find the huge vessel with everyone in it deceased
When divers and subs journey out to examine the wreck.
 
One big guy named Jammer freaks out from the sub full of corpses
And falls in a coma as storm winds above start to blow.
Then Coffey gets orders to reclaim a nuke from the sub,
Which causes some unforeseen problems for all down below.
 
The hurricane destroys a large crane from a ship up above,
Which nearly drags down the whole oil rig into the pit.
They suffer some losses, but Lindsey believes that she saw
A strange glowing thing, yet everyone’s doubtful of it.
 
First Lindsey, then everyone gets a good look at these beings,
Which somehow control ocean water from deep in that void.
But Coffey, who’s suffering from pressure sickness, believes
They’re Russians or some hostile species that must be destroyed.
 
He arms the small nuke to send down to the yawning abyss
And locks down the rig, putting everyone into harm’s way.
When Jammer wakes up, he helps free all his friends from their jail,
And Bud and a pal try to stop Coffey’s mad power play.
 
They battle in subs, but the bomb swims away to the trench,
And Coffey soon follows, imploding while plummeting down.
When Lindsey and Bud are then stranded in their sinking sub,
Bud swims to the rig in a suit while poor Lindsey must drown.
 
Bud next resurrects her, and “drowns” in a way of his own.
To disarm the bomb, he must enter the endless abyss.
He has to breathe liquid with oxygen as he descends,
Which helps him adjust to the pressure, the worst part of this.
 
He sinks ever deeper and locates the bomb to disarm.
He does so, but knows he cannot make it back to the rig.
He types his goodbyes till an alien creature swims by
And carries him off to the mother ship, looming quite big.
 
They give him some air and then show him a TV of sorts,
Depicting the rumors of war on the surface above.
They have the control to destroy man with giant tsunamis,
But let us survive based on Bud’s show of unselfish love.
 
Bud contacts the rig, letting everyone know he’s alive,
And warns them to brace for their newest acquaintance from space.
The mother ship rises and lifts the whole rig to the surface,
Where Lindsey and Bud share a thrilled reuniting embrace.
_______________________
 

Coming on the heels of The Terminator and Aliens, James Cameron’s The Abyss was a much more ambitious project, with over half of the nearly three-hour film being shot underwater. For those who don’t know, my poem and review are for the extended version of The Abyss, which includes a half hour of additional scenes and a better-explained ending than the original 1989 version. These scenes give greater detail to various relationships and a more full understanding of the finale, which explains why the alternate version has largely replaced the original.

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio stars in what I consider her best role as the hardheaded rig designer Lindsey, and Ed Harris is similarly fantastic as her irritated husband Bud. Their relationship is the most intimate and personable, and little touches such as Bud’s wedding ring saving his life add a lot to their characters. Michael Biehn is increasingly wild-eyed as the impaired SEAL Coffey, but these three are the only fleshed-out characters in the film. While the extended version helps, the rest of the crew are pretty much just a collection of eccentricities. Their names don’t really stick like their actions or appearance, making them just “the tall coma guy,” “the black sub lady,” “the conspiracy guy with the rat,” and “the guy who looks like a truck driver.”

Regardless of the lack of secondary character development, the Oscar-winning special effects are often extraordinary, especially considering when it was released. The set pieces involving the crane and the submarine fight are truly impressive and kept me on the edge of my seat. The NTIs (Non-Terrestrial Intelligence) are also well-realized creatures that are kept out of sight for most of the film, and the grand score by the great Alan Silvestri creates tension and mystery, though less scarily than in Aliens.

Weak points include the language and the ending. Even with the extended climax, with an anti-war message foreshadowing that of Cameron’s Avatar, the end is overlong and rather convenient. The NTIs’ benevolence in light of Bud’s sacrifice carries an important and touching message, but it’s a tad hokey as well. Without the anti-war elements, the end made even less sense and drew the bulk of critics’ ire. Also, while the F-words are minimal, The Abyss has quite a bit of profanity and other bad language, plus some non-sexual nudity, so a cut version is definitely preferred in my house.

I’ve heard that, with all the safety issues and long shoots required, Cameron and the actors did not enjoy making The Abyss at all. It may have been hard on them, but it gave Cameron some experience shooting with water, preparing him for Titanic, and it gave us an excellent sci-fi thriller.

Best line: (Bud) “Hippy, you think everything is a conspiracy.” (Hippy) “Everything is.”

VC’s best line (one she has reused many times since): (Bud) “I’m comin’, I’m comin’. Geez, keep your pantyhose on.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, nudity, and overlong ending): -8
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #241 – Sister Act

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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The Girl Who Leapt through Time (2006)

08 Thursday May 2014

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Young Makoto Konno is always behind.
It’s hard to make up all the time she can’t find.
She makes time, however, to play catch each day
With new friend Chiaki and old friend Kosuke.
 
One day in particular seems to run long;
From quizzes to accidents, all just goes wrong.
Then Makoto finds a small nut-shaped doodad,
Which gives a brief vision that scares her a tad.
 
Her journey back home then delivers a thrill
When her bike’s brakes go out riding down a steep hill.
She’s thrown from her bike at the end of the lane,
Right into the path of an oncoming train!
 
She sees the train hit her and hears the bell chime,
Then finds she’s gone backward a minute in time.
Alive but confused, she is told by her aunt
That she can time-leap; Makoto thinks she can’t.
 
Through tentative practice, she picks up the skill
Of leaping to past and to future at will.
She starts by improving that horrible day
And making up time that had once slipped away.
 
Enjoying her power, she doesn’t see straight
That her problems are passed to another schoolmate.
When this poor guy’s had it and finally snaps,
She sees that time travel can damage perhaps.
 
The labyrinth of love is another sore spot,
As Chiaki asks her if she’ll date him or not.
She flees from the question, which never occurs
And causes a rift that she only makes worse.
 
She also tries playing the matchmaker too
For Kosuke and one timid girl, who is new.
Then after she does this, she sees a tattoo
That shows she has one time-leap left on her cue.
 
She wastes it before she sees Kosuke’s mistake
Of taking his girl on her bike that won’t brake.
She sees them rush down that notorious hill
And strike the same rails with the same deadly spill.
 
Then time stops; Chiaki comes forth to impart
He came from the future in search of some art.
He used his last leap to save Kosuke, alone,
But now he must leave since his secret is known.
 
He leaves her, and Makoto weeps for her friend,
Until she takes note of a way she can mend.
The leap that he made canceled out her last one
So she cancels his out to prevent what’s been done.
 
At last, all is right, and there’s no accident,
But Chiaki must leave since his secret is spent.
Though sad, he tells Makoto he’ll wait for her,
And she is content with her waiting future.
___________________
 

I first saw The Girl Who Leapt through Time only last year, but it is apparently a very popular story in Japan, first published in novel form in 1967 and spawning multiple Japanese films since. Both well-received and author-approved, this anime version combines two of my favorite elements: animation and time travel. It isn’t a rip-roaring adventure or a laugh-out-loud comedy but instead a sensitive young adult drama (with some humor thrown in) that has the same kind of quiet tone as another favorite anime of mine, Studio Ghibli’s Whisper of the Heart.

The English dub is better than most anime dubs, as is the quality animation, which is somewhere between the more cartoonish anime and the beautiful artistry of Ghibli. Directed by Mamoru Hosoda, who later directed the previously reviewed Summer Wars, this tale has both charm and some interesting additions to the time travel genre. Regardless of quality, anime most excels at creating striking visuals, and this one is no exception. The scenes of Makoto’s weeping and the shots of characters flying in slow motion in front of a moving train have stuck in my mind long after seeing it.

As is typical of time travel films, you probably shouldn’t think about it too much, since there are a number of unexplained issues. Why did Chiaki laugh at Makoto after hearing her describe finding the time travel device? If he couldn’t return to his time, where did Chiaki have to go after using up his last time leap? In the book, the boy from the future is from the year 2660, so how far in the future did Chiaki come from? It’s from a time obviously after some kind of war and the extinction of baseball, so how can he wait for her or her for him?

It’s true that the logic of the ending falls apart, but it’s touching nonetheless. By the end of the film, with Makoto again playing catch, as she had periodically through the film, I stepped back and said “I liked that movie.” Maybe you will too.

Best line (a constant theme of the film): (Makoto) “Time waits for no one.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (time travel plot holes): -4
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #242 – The Abyss

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Sheffey (1977)

07 Wednesday May 2014

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When Robert Sheffey was a lad,
He didn’t think himself that bad,
But a revival made him see
The sins he didn’t know he had.
 
He asks forgiveness offered free
And tells his household happily.
His aunt feels shamed at this report,
And he departs in enmity.
 
Both Sheffey and his horse cavort
Through mountain views of every sort.
He meets some folks who offer then
A teaching job with full support.
 
He takes it but is frightened when
He’s urged to preach in front of men.
It takes tough love to help him start,
But soon he’s worthy of “Amen!”
 
He prays a still be torn apart
And makes the old bootlegger smart.
He later learns his aunt is dead,
But she had had a change of heart.
 
Years pass, and, while he treks ahead,
Forever by the Spirit led,
He spreads the Gospel of the Lord,
His territory now widespread.
 
He always comes on room and board,
And by most folks he is adored,
Although official preachers deem
Him too peculiar to reward.
 
He likes camp meetings with the theme
Of drawing hundreds to redeem.
While Sheffey wants them to endure,
Some heads hold them in low esteem.
 
A girl from one preferred detour
Becomes his wife when they are sure.
Eliza helps his constant care
Of spreading God’s most perfect cure.
 
They have a son, although the pair
Love from afar, as they’re aware.
Yet they stay close, although his treks
Take Sheffey almost everywhere.
 
An injury serves to perplex
Since he can’t stick to his projects.
He cannot ride because of age
But stays engaged in most respects.
 
He still loves the revival stage,
And so its closure sparks his rage.
He works to bring it back for years,
At last succeeding to assuage.
 
The meet goes well when it premieres,
But soon he views his greatest fears.
A smoker sets the camp on fire,
And, in flames, it disappears.
 
As he’s distracted by the pyre,
Eliza, hoping he’ll retire,
Chases him but has a fall
And joins the Lord’s eternal choir.
 
Sheffey, having lost it all,
Is heartbroken and feels so small.
Eventually, he finds God’s peace
And settles down where friends can call.
 
A young man comes to seek release
For burning the camp on some caprice,
So Sheffey offers grace before
He sees the Heav’n he helped increase.
_________________
 

Most have probably never heard of Sheffey, and that’s quite understandable. It was a college film produced by the students and staff of Bob Jones University; thus, it is highly evangelical, particularly in the beginning. My early education was from fundamentalist Protestants, and I was shown this film as part of the lesson plan one day. While my denomination has changed, I still find the film a marvelous and underappreciated period piece. It made me cry the first time I saw it (around the age of 10), and, as you’ll see from the rest of my list, I’m very partial to films that have brought me to tears, even if they don’t anymore.

I will say that the second half is better than the first. The beginning has the usual Christian motif of a directionless sinner seeing the error of his ways and coming to the Lord. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with this, but it’s overused in Christian films, and Dwight Anderson, who plays the young Sheffey, isn’t really a skilled-enough actor to make it convincing. Much of the acting is rather unprofessional, sometimes obviously contrived, but the older Sheffey, played by Harold Kilpatrick, is the most believable character, and he’s the one that matters most. It also is a little irritating that some of the characters (the aunt, the elder that refuses Sheffey a preaching license) disapprove of Sheffey’s actions for no well-explained reason. Their vague complaints seem to make them unnecessarily at fault and Sheffey the obviously right saint.

All this aside, the film has some truly wonderful elements. The somewhat feigned acting, the hymn-inspired score, and the way it is shot might have made the film seem like some low-budget affair. Instead, though it was made in 1977, it just feels like an older film, perhaps from the ‘40s or ‘50s. As with such films of yesteryear, much effort obviously went into the costumes and period details, and the script is nicely woven together with characters coming and going or being mentioned having repented years later. These conversions may be predictable but are nonetheless touching, particularly the final one standing above Sheffey’s grave.

If you don’t like movies that preach at you (as I usually don’t), you may not like Sheffey, but I find it a very impressive film for such a small college effort. Though it embellishes Sheffey’s life a bit (he had six unmentioned kids with his first wife, and he did actually get a preaching license in real life), it presents a little-shown piece of history that shouldn’t be forgotten: the circuit riders of the 1800s. Between the gorgeous Appalachian scenery and the poignant character moments, Sheffey is well worth seeing, in my book.

Best line: (Robert Sheffey) “When I get to heaven, I’m going to ask the Lord why He made a woman’s head so hard.” (Eliza) “And He’ll tell you it’s to make up for your soft one.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (spiritual value, plus it made me cry): +4
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #243 – The Girl Who Leapt through Time (2006)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

100 Followers and Counting!

 

X-Men (2000)

06 Tuesday May 2014

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Mankind is evolving, I hear,
To mutants with powers unclear.
This world on the brink
Doesn’t know what to think,
But most are responding with fear.
 
Young Rogue is disturbed by the fact
That she cannot have human contact.
Those touching her skin
Are then sapped from within,
Often causing a harmful impact.
 
She flees to the North’s wilderness,
And watches a man have success
On the cage-fighting scene;
He is called Wolverine
And has long metal claws that impress.
 
The pair is attacked in the snow
By a Sabretooth man they don’t know.
They are rescued by two
Mutant patriots, who
Take them both far away from the foe.
 
Wolverine (also Logan) awakes
In a school built for mutant kids’ sakes.
He is urged by Jean Grey,
A smart psychic, to stay,
But flees until told of the stakes.
 
Professor Xavier founded
This school for young mutants, surrounded
By those who have banned
What they don’t understand,
Which may provoke hatred unbounded.
 
The metal-controlling kingpin
Magneto wants mutants to win.
He threatens mankind
With the team he’s combined;
His latest plan’s due to begin.
 
His shape-shifting henchgirl Mystique
Nabs Kelly, who’s known to critique.
A machine in a tower
Magneto can power
Mutates Kelly into a freak.
 
Magneto kidnaps Rogue as well,
For reasons they can’t at first tell.
Then, after debate,
They fear he’ll mutate
World leaders and their personnel.
 
Once Kelly is dead from the change,
A death both horrific and strange,
They fly to New York,
Where Magneto’s at work
To metamorphose all in range.
 
The Statue of Liberty sees
Some tense and hard-fought victories.
The good mutants halt
The bad mutants’ assault
Through metal claws, lasers, and breeze.
 
Though Rogue nearly dies from the load,
Magneto’s machine they explode.
He’s captured and jailed,
But Mystique escapes, veiled,
And Logan gets back on the road.
____________________
 

X-Men was one of the first superhero movies of the new millennium, and it reinvigorated the genre, leading to ever greater comic book films since. As the beginning of this new string of superhero blockbusters, it’s less spectacular and ambitious than more recent films but brought enough memorable characters to the screen to warrant three sequels, a prequel, and a reboot (see three posts ago).

Some characters are perfectly cast, including Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellan as Magneto; others are respectable enough and given room to grow in sequels, such as Famke Janssen as Jean Grey, James Marsden as Cyclops, and Anna Paquin as Rogue; and, as typical of films stuffed with characters, some are just space fillers for fight scenes, namely Halle Berry as Storm and Magneto’s two lackeys Sabretooth and Toad. The best character, though, goes to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, a role that continues to define his career to this year. My VC and I thought it would typecast him as the tough guy with claws, but his recent performance in Les Miserables showed how versatile an actor he is. (Cool fact: Russell Crowe, who starred with Jackman in Les Mis, was the original choice for Wolverine. That would have been…interesting.) Wolverine and Rogue offer the bulk of the character development, but the two old English actors do wonders with less central roles.

Having seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I wish there were some indication that Wolverine and Sabretooth knew each other and were in fact half-brothers. (I know Logan wouldn’t remember, but the most Sabretooth/Victor Creed does is pick up Logan’s dog tags. Also, since Sabretooth had Wolverine’s healing powers, his supposed demise shouldn’t really have killed him.)

The special effects are just good, not stupendous or awe-inspiring like other superhero films, and the writing ranges from thought-provoking to cheesy (Storm’s line upon beating Toad is one of the lamest I’ve ever heard). Joss Whedon wrote an initial script that was mostly rejected, but I think it’s notable that he was involved at the beginning of the superhero craze, as well as directing its culmination in The Avengers. X-Men offers a great ensemble, some inside jokes, and an ending wide open for more installments. Now, fourteen years later, we’re awaiting the hopefully awesome Days of Future Past so it’s only fair to give credit to the film that started it all.

Best line: (Rogue) “You know, you should wear your seat belt.” (Wolverine) “Now look, kid, I don’t need advice on auto…” (Boom—Logan’s truck crashes)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (some language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #244 – Sheffey

© 2014 S. G. Liput

100 Followers and Counting

 

Lady and the Tramp (1955)

05 Monday May 2014

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In 1909, in the bright Christmastime,
A man gives his wife a young pup in her prime.
They christen her Lady, this dog that they’ve gotten,
And pamper and love her and spoil her rotten.
She grows and receives a new collar as well,
Which every dog wants, so she runs off to tell
The terrier Jock and a bloodhound named Trusty,
Whose great sense of smell has become a bit rusty.
 
But Jim Dear and Darling, her folks who adore her,
Soon seem too distracted and start to ignore her.
Old Jock (who’s a Scottish, not Yorkshire or Cairn)
Thinks Darling’s expecting a wee little bairn.
A stray passing mutt called the Tramp overhears
And says things will change, making worse Lady’s fears.
Sure enough, months later, they have a boy,
But Lady protects him and thinks he’s a joy.
 
When Jim Dear and Darling leave home for a while,
Aunt Sarah takes over their quaint domicile.
Her Siamese cats, who are quick to lay claim,
Wreak havoc, and Lady receives all the blame.
When Aunt Sarah muzzles her, Lady escapes
And gets lost in places where she should not traipse.
Tramp comes to her rescue and frees Lady’s snout
And gives her a lovely, romantic night out.
 
The next day, however, while yet homeward bound,
His wild ways get Lady sent to the pound.
She meets the dogs there, whose lives are much colder;
When Lady gets home, she gives Tramp the cold shoulder…
Until a huge rat scurries past in the dark
To the dear baby’s room, causing Lady to bark.
The Tramp swoops right in to destroy the rat first,
But when Aunt Sarah sees him, the maid fears the worst.
 
To the pound with the Tramp, but when they find the rat,
They see he’s a hero who deserves a good pat.
Both Trusty and Jock stop the dog catcher’s cart,
And, though Trusty’s hurt, he does not yet depart.
The next Christmas, Tramp is a part of the home,
And Lady and he have some pups of their own.
_________________
 

Lady and the Tramp is among Disney’s great classics and one of his last impressively animated films (the artistic style seemed to suffer in future endeavors). It’s a classic love story retold countless times, the pampered princess falling for the lovable scoundrel, but it’s not only lovely to look at but also full of endearing characters and memorable moments. I also enjoy how Lady thinks her owners are named Jim Dear and Darling since that’s what they call each other; it has that same naïve misunderstanding as people being called “human beans” in The Borrowers.

Almost any pet owner can commiserate with Jim Dear and Darling in the beginning with Lady as a newborn puppy. Then later on, her banter with Jock and Trusty is downright charming. Yet we also get a glimpse of the darker possibilities of a dog’s life. Tramp has a good, carefree life for the most part, but that scene of adorable despair in the pound is more affecting than most SPCA ads.

We may be cat people, but my VC and I find the Siamese cats’ song positively grating, but Peggy Lee’s “He’s a Tramp” is a highlight of the film (though she sang both songs). And, of course, there is that iconic scene with the spaghetti and meatballs. I had forgotten how good this film was, so, if you haven’t seen this true classic recently, go remind yourself posthaste.

Best line: (Trusty) “Why, everybody knows a dog’s best friend is his human.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (those Siamese cats and the fact that I just like other films more): -5
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #245 – X-Men

© 2014 S. G. Liput

97 Followers and Counting

 

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

04 Sunday May 2014

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Flint Lockwood lives in Swallow Falls, a town built on sardines.
He spends his days pursuing praise by forging new machines.
His father doesn’t “get” what he is trying to achieve,
So Flint works solo in his lab with talking monkey Steve.
 
Sardines aren’t very tasty so he tries a new invention,
A bot debuted to conjure food (from water, I should mention).
It doesn’t work as he had hoped and flies into the sky,
But soon it’s raining cheeseburgers, which captures every eye.
 
Flint builds a new computer to connect with his device;
As orders call, he fills them all, thanks to the Mayor’s advice.
He also bonds with one Sam Sparks, a perky weather girl,
Who spreads the news of food-inspired rain around the world.
 
From pies that plummet to the plate to scoops of sherbet snow
To steaks that soar to dish or floor, Flint’s gadget doesn’t slow.
The food gets ever bigger, and, though Flint could shut it down,
He doesn’t want to wreck the recognition of his town.
 
His father still believes this food anomaly is wrong,
But Flint’s own fears are drowned by cheers till problems come along.
In front of everybody, Flint’s contraption goes berserk,
And he can’t turn it off because the Mayor is a jerk.
 
A tasty storm attacks the world, but Flint and his few friends
Fly up to stop the constant drop of meals, to make amends.
Though faced with sentient food-y foes (with logic in suspension),
Flint stops his evil gadget with another old invention.
 
Though Swallow Falls was leveled by an avalanche of food,
The people cheer when Flint draws near, to show their gratitude.
Then Flint and Sam embrace in the enthusiastic crowd,
And Flint’s impassive father indirectly says he’s proud.
__________________________
 

I don’t know whether to call Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ridiculous inspiration or inspired ridiculousness. The main concept is so simple—food raining from the sky—but the writers milk every imaginative variance on this idea such that the total film exceeds the sum of its parts. Yes, we’ve seen some of this before (the misunderstanding parent and the he’s-dead-no-wait-never-mind cliché), but the directing and writing team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller give the material the same energetically original edge that made the recent Lego Movie a much bigger success than it might have been. Where else can you hear the matter-of-fact usage of the term amuse-bouche, along with a joke questioning its meaning?

The animation is impressive, though highly cartoony at times, and the voices are well-cast, including Bill Hader as Flint Lockwood, Anna Faris as Sam Sparks, James Caan as Flint’s dad, and the incomparable Mr. T as the over-zealous policeman Earl, along with Bruce Campbell, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, and Neil Patrick Harris in supporting roles.

Yet the comedy is the star, and the jokes fly out at an incredible rate. Sometimes they are so quick that a blink will cause you to miss something; other times, it takes half the movie for a funny line to pay off. Though some of the humor is awkward and obnoxious, particularly in the character of former-baby Brent, the multitude of sight gags, food puns, and laugh-out-loud moments, along with the touching culmination of Flint’s relationship with his dad, makes Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs a film worth seeing again and again.

Best line (oh, to have to choose): (Manny, the deadpan cameraman/doctor) “You are going to need a co-pilot.”
(Sam) “You’re a pilot, too?”
(Manny) “Yes. I am also a particle physicist.”
(Sam) “Really?”
(Manny) “No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian.”

 

Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (some awkward parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #246 – Lady and the Tramp

© 2014 S. G. Liput

96 Followers and Counting

 

X-Men: First Class (2011)

03 Saturday May 2014

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Long before ol’ Wolverine
Met Professor X’s team,
Long before young Rogue and Jean
And Cyclops fought Magneto’s scheme,
There was Erik Lehnsherr.
He saw an evil man named Shaw
Shoot his mother as a test
Of his response to what he saw,
Violent, yes, but it impressed
And sparked a misadventure.
 
Psychic Charles Xavier
Grew up with Raven (soon Mystique).
Close as siblings, these two were,
Even though she was a freak,
Hiding with disguises.
Moira, with the CIA,
Is searching for a fishy clue.
She perceives, to her dismay,
Shaw and other mutants, who
Present some new surprises.
 
She and Charles then present
Mutants to the CIA,
Concerning them to some extent,
But one man gives them his okay.
Soon they’re at a base.
Apprehending Shaw and friends
Doesn’t go as they had planned,
Yet, as their encounter ends,
Erik tries to make his stand
To kill Shaw and give chase.
 
Vengeance has to wait a bit.
Charles and fierce Erik meet;
Friendship soon grows out of it
As they get back on their feet.
Soon they are recruiting.
Finding mutants left and right,
Both soon have a young, new team.
Shaw attacks one fateful night,
Claiming mutants are supreme.
There’s much death and shooting.
 
Charles’s home is where they flee
To train and exercise each gift.
Erik helps Mystique to see
Her “beauty,” which provokes a rift
Between both Charles and her.
Shaw and friends are planning, though,
To start the Cuban Missile Crisis,
Forcing an uneasy show
Of rival nuclear devices.
World war may occur.
 
Charles and his mutant team
Fly to Cuba in a jet.
All of them defeat Shaw’s scheme
By extinguishing a threat.
Shaw is soon exposed.
As the good guys fight the bad,
Flying, beaming to and fro,
Shaw taunts Erik, who is mad,
And takes vengeance on his foe.
Shaw is now deposed.
 
Erik quickly has Shaw’s minions
And attempts to prove his power.
Charles has diverse opinions
And stops Erik in his hour.
Erik brings him pain.
Charles’s legs are paralyzed,
But he founds his mutant school,
Which he knows must be disguised.
Erik, though, has plans to rule
And starts his own campaign.
_________________
 

X-Men: First Class offers a compelling look at Professor X and Magneto in their youth. The beginning and straining of their friendship are the backbone of the film, and James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr do an excellent job as younger versions of the roles previously embodied by Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Other roles are either well-cast (Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy/Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique) or pretty flat and just an excuse for cool special effects (Zoe Kravitz as Angel, January Jones as Emma Frost). Kevin Bacon is decent, though not particularly memorable, as the villain Sebastian Shaw, though his comeuppance is both gruesome and well-deserved.

One thing that somewhat bothers me is the way this film fits in with the original X-Men films and the comics. There are references to the previous movies, such as the father of Colonel William Stryker from X2 and the opening scene of young Erik in the concentration camp. Yet, now that we know that Beast and Mystique were attracted to each other and especially that Charles and Mystique grew up together, I must ask why there was no indication of this in the first three films. Plus, there’s that big eyebrow-raiser in the horrible third movie: the scene in which Patrick Stewart’s Charles is seen walking, even though his paralysis is shown to have happened here when he was young. Who knows? In addition, Alex Summer/Havoc is the younger brother of Scott Summers/Cyclops in the comics, yet the filmmakers threw him in First Class (as perhaps Scott’s father) just because they could.

As typical of X-Men films, there are lots of characters and subplots, but First Class feels somehow edgier than the previous ones. Yes, there is the angst of the more youthful characters, but there are also profanity, quite a bit of comic book violence, and many scantily clothed women, all of which were totally unnecessary. There’s even a great unexpected cameo midway through that is rather spoiled by the lone F-bomb in the film.

Overall, X-Men: First Class doesn’t hit all the right notes, but it hits the most important, namely the relationship between Professor X and Magneto. It’s an impressive beginning to the rebooted X-Men trilogy and makes me eager to see X-Men: Days of Future Past this summer.

Best line: (Hank, as Charles is testing the Cerebro headgear) “You’re sure I can’t shave your head?” (Charles) “Don’t touch my hair.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, sex, violence): -6
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #247 – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

© 2014 S. G. Liput

95 Followers and Counting