Category Archives: Writing

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

129 Followers and Counting

 

#210: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

13 Friday Jun 2014

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The ocean liner named Poseidon cruises from New York to Greece.
Although he’s overruled, the captain says their ballast must increase.
As New Year’s Eve is wrapping up, with partying and ecstasy,
An underwater earthquake strikes, creating a catastrophe.
A towering wave, a great tsunami, makes the giant ship capsize.
Everything’s turned upside down to cries of terror and surprise.
 
At last, the vessel settles down, and partyers are grievers now,
But soon it strikes the Reverend Scott that they must all climb up somehow.
The bow is sinking so they must try climbing toward the skyward hull;
Poseidon’s purser thinks him foolish and exerts a halting pull.
However, Scott succeeds in swaying nine brave souls to join his hope,
But everyone else stays behind to wait or help the others cope.
 
The gruff policeman Rogo comes because of Linda, his loud wife,
And Belle and Manny Rosen want to be part of their grandson’s life.
The careful haberdasher Martin, who is single, tags along
And brings with him the grieving Nonnie, singer of the party’s song.
Then there’s the wounded waiter Acres, who does know the ship a lot,
And smart lad Robin and his sister Susan, who likes Reverend Scott.
 
They scale the party’s Christmas tree and get up higher just in time;
Explosions cause the party room to flood, and it’s too late to climb.
Throughout the topsy-turvy ship, the band of passengers ascends.
Although Scott acts so self-assured, they don’t know where their journey ends.
With water closing on their heels, they climb into a lofty shaft,
And while they rise, poor Acres then falls victim to the deadly craft.
 
Since Rogo hates Scott’s domineering, he insists they join a crowd,
But Scott is sure that they are wrong and tells them so and very loud.
He goes alone to find the wanted engine room that’s toward the stern.
Once he succeeds in finding it, he leads the small group to return.
The path’s already flooded, though, so they must swim to stay on track,
And Mrs. Rosen proves her worth but passes from a heart attack.
 
Though Mr. Rosen mourns his wife, her dying words help urge him on.
They find the target engine room and scaffolding to climb upon.
A sudden blast blocks their escape, and Mrs. Rogo falls as well.
To get them through, Scott turns a searing wheel while giving God a yell.
He clears the way and then lets go, compelling them before his fall;
The final six are rescued through Scott’s sacrifice to save them all.
_____________________
 

The Poseidon Adventure is one of those classic star-studded disaster movies of the 1970s and is easily the best, as far as I’m concerned. Boasting a number of Oscar winners, including Red Buttons (Mr. Martin), Jack Albertson of Willy Wonka fame (Mr. Rosen), Shelley Winters (Mrs. Rosen), and Ernest Borgnine (Mr. Rogo), it’s a film that doesn’t just display them for the sake of bragging but puts each of them to good use, and no one is put to better use than Gene Hackman as Reverend Scott. The first time she saw it, Hackman’s assured and intense performance made my VC admire him as much as Susan in the film. My favorite, though, is the Oscar-nominated Winters as Mrs. Rosen, a likable grandmotherly type whose death was the saddest for me.

Coming years before the likes of Titanic, the disaster scenes of the ship being overturned are fairly impressive for the time and garnered the first Special Achievement Academy Award at a time when there was no category for Special Effects. The film also offers some very unique visuals, showing entire rooms, stairways, and corridors upside down and sometimes underwater.

Considering that the violence was not graphic, it’s a shame that the filmmakers included several profanities. Also, I know he’s proud to be considered unorthodox, but Scott’s view of God seems rather contradictory. On the one hand, he talks about how God doesn’t concern himself with the individual (a clearly collectivist view) but mentions “that part of God within you” that will help you if you help yourself. Assuming he’s talking about the Holy Spirit, that’s God, indicating He does assist individuals. While Scott is certainly noble in his quest and sacrifice, I think his understanding of God and His role in the world and people’s lives is rather two-dimensional. Still, I do agree with part of the sermon he gives, as reflected in my Best Line.

The Poseidon Adventure was Irwin Allen’s crowning achievement and one of the best disaster films ever, putting focus on the characters as well as the terrible things happening to them. I’ll admit that I have not seen the 2006 remake Poseidon, but when the film is already this good, why redo it just for the sake of better effects?

Best line: (Reverend Scott, in his sermon) “God wants brave souls. He wants winners, not quitters. If you can’t win, at least try to win. God loves tryers…. So what resolution should we make for the New Year? Resolve to let God know that you have the guts and the will to do it alone. Resolve to fight for yourselves, and for others, for those you love. And that part of God within you will be fighting with you all the way.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #209 – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension (please don’t laugh)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

128 Followers and Counting

 

Annie (1999)

12 Thursday Jun 2014

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Young Annie’s a sweethearted orphan
In New York, as sharp as a tack.
Her parents left her with a note and a locket
That make her dream they will come back.
 
The orphanage isn’t too homey.
In fact, it’s all work and no play.
Her “caretaker” Hannigan hates little girls,
Who happen to fill her whole day.
 
When Annie escapes for the first time,
She finds a dog, Sandy, and sings,
But soon she is captured and back with Miss H,
Who plans several new sufferings.
 
But then good luck shines upon Annie
As they get a visit from Grace,
The personal aide to rich Oliver Warbucks,
A tycoon who wants to save face.
 
For Christmas, he’ll take in an orphan,
And Annie is given the prize.
She is unaccustomed to servants and fun
But likes it, to no one’s surprise.
 
While Oliver Warbucks seems stodgy,
She charms her way into his heart.
Before Christmas comes, he decides to adopt her,
In hopes that they never will part.
 
But Annie still hopes for her parents;
Thus Warbucks then puts out a test.
He sets a reward for her folks but attracts
Just fakers, including the best.
 
For Hannigan’s brother is greedy,
So “Rooster” and she play the Mudges.
They fool everyone into thinking they’re real,
And Annie is sad as she budges.
 
But Rooster’s girlfriend blows their cover
And sends them all packing to jail.
So Annie’s adopted, as are all her friends,
And thus ends this musical tale.
___________________
 

For my list, I chose the 1999 Disney television version of the 1977 musical Annie instead of the 1982 film version simply because I saw it first. As I first watched the Wonderful World of Disney, this film became an indelible part of my childhood. It may not have Albert Finney, Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters, who filled iconic roles quite well in the 1982 film, but it still boasts several big stars. These include Kathy Bates as the villainous Miss Hannigan, Victor Garber as “Daddy” Warbucks, Alan Cumming (known to me as Floop and Nightcrawler) as “Rooster,” Kristen Chenoweth as Rooster’s girlfriend Lily, and Audra McDonald as Grace. While McDonald’s casting seems out-of-place considering the time period, it’s interesting that she starred in this TV musical as well as the more recent revival of such productions, the Carrie Underwood version of The Sound of Music, in which McDonald played the Mother Abbess.

Annie is certainly a classic musical, but I couldn’t help but reflect on why. The typical Broadway music is certainly catchy with clever lyrics and strong end notes, particularly the songs “Tomorrow” and “N.Y.C.” Yet it doesn’t have the uniqueness or the masterful acting of musicals like Les Miserables, The Music Man, or My Fair Lady. I suppose what makes it unique is that, unlike most other musicals, the main character and several main singers are real children. These pipsqueak performers have just the right amount of heartwarming charm and sincerity to make the musical something special, just like Annie endears herself to Mr. Warbucks. And, of course, the title role (Alicia Morton in this film) is the most enchanting of all.

Though it left out several unnecessary songs, I also like this TV version because it not only sticks closer to the play’s plot but also often feels like actually watching a Broadway play. Whereas some of the songs in the 1982 Annie became sprawling numbers that could never have happened on a stage, the ones in this film feel contained but as energetic as something seen on Broadway. Some may consider this smaller feel a liability, but I think of it as a strength.

In addition to the musical winning multiple Tony Awards, this 1999 film won two Emmys for Outstanding Choreography and Outstanding Music Direction. It was one of the last TV musicals for a while too, as far as I know. The Sound of Music has luckily rekindled interest in such musicals, just as Les Mis has in the film industry. With an updated version of Annie to be released later this year (starring Quvenzhané Wallis and Jamie Foxx), I’d say the cinematic musical is alive and well.

Best line: (Warbucks, after inviting FDR to Christmas dinner) “I wonder what Democrats eat.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
Other (music): +4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #210 – The Poseidon Adventure

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

The Elephant Man (1980)

12 Thursday Jun 2014

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While searching the carnival’s freakish sideshows,
Sir Frederick Treves finds one display that must close:
The Elephant Man, made grotesque, he hears tell,
When elephants struck his poor mother, who fell.
 
So hideous is this strange creature, Sir Treves
Must pay for a private exhibit and grieves,
But Treves, a rich surgeon, as well sees his chance
To show fellow doctors this medical glance.
 
He pays for John Merrick, the Elephant Man,
To come to the hospital, soon as he can.
He holds his own sideshow so doctors can gawk
And thinks John is stupid because he won’t talk.
 
When Merrick returns to his “owner” of sorts,
This drunken Bytes beats him so hard, he reports
To Treves that John fell and needs medical care.
Treves takes Merrick back, of his pains quite aware.
 
While Frederick takes custody of injured John,
He gets him to talk for his boss, one Carr Gomm.
Although John’s appearance is shocking at first,
He proves himself gentle and kind and well-versed.
 
By day, he gets visits from London elite,
Who drink tea with him while they cringe in their seat.
By night, a cruel worker intrudes on his stay
And lets people mock him as long as they pay.
 
One night, Mr. Bytes spirits John from this shore
And makes him a sideshow attraction once more.
Bytes beats John near death, treating him like an ape,
But John’s fellow freaks help their comrade escape.
 
John makes it to England (disguised, I should mention)
But causes a scene that attracts Treves’ attention.
John’s back home in comfort but dying he knows,
And since he has not seen a real play, he goes.
 
The theatre welcomes him with an ovation,
And John stands aghast at their kind commendation.
This happy night ends and so John Merrick lies
Like normal men do in their beds, and he dies.
_____________________
 

The Elephant Man is a deeply somber film based on the life of the 19th-century British man Joseph Merrick, who was not born deformed as the film implies. It earned eight Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Actor, and was the main reason for the creation of an Oscar category for Best Make-Up and Hairstyling. John Hurt is unrecognizable as the title character, with loads of make-up and authentic prosthetics transforming him into what many in the film consider a freak and a monster. Yet his acting shines through it all and complements that of Anthony Hopkins as Sir Frederick Treves. In contrast to Hurt’s ugliness, my VC commented that Hopkins “never looked so good” with that beard and mustache. Other skilled thespians round out the cast, including John Gielgud as Carr Gomm, Wendy Hiller as the head nurse Mothershead, and Freddie Jones as the despicable Bytes.

It’s a very emotional film, meant to provoke emotions in its audience: anger at Bytes and the mocking crowds; sympathy for Treves, who questions his motives for helping John but ultimately embraces him as a friend; and especially pity, sorrow, and admiration for Merrick himself. Some have accused the film of being overtly sentimental; I don’t disagree, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Mel Brooks definitely went against type to executive produce such a serious film, but I recognized director David Lynch’s fingerprints. I don’t care for most of his films because of their frequent weirdness, and the beginning and end are certainly strange. The first scenes involving overlong shots of elephants and John’s mother screaming silently were unnecessary, and, while John’s death scene with Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” playing is certainly affecting, the following celestial imagery and the final line “Nothing will die” just left me scratching my head.

Still, The Elephant Man is a well-acted period drama, which is enhanced by its black-and-white cinematography and a haunting score that I can best describe as melancholy carnie music. To be honest, it’s a real downer, but with enough moments of kindness and light to make it worth watching, at least once.

Best line: (John to Treves, before his night at the theatre) “I am happy every hour of the day. My life is full because I know that I am loved. I have gained myself. I could not say that…were it not for you.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 3
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 8
Watchability: 2
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #211 – Annie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

Anastasia (1997)

11 Wednesday Jun 2014

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Anastasia is the daughter of the final Russian czar,
Happy and carefree until there came an evil man bizarre.
For Rasputin sold his soul to see the Romanovs destroyed;
Though his curse was carried out, he fell into an icy void.
 
Anastasia and her grandma were to safety kindly led.
While Grandmother got away, the girl was lost and hit her head.
Now, a decade later, Anya can’t recall her royal caste.
She departs her orphanage to find her future and her past.
 
Guided by her grandma’s necklace and a cute and helpful mutt,
She walks to St. Petersburg, intent on reaching Paris, but
So are two deceptive cons, Dimitri and his comrade Vlad,
Who want one fake Anastasia for reward cash to be had.
 
They convince her she could be the missing princess found at last,
And they journey off to France, where Anya hopes to find her past.
Yet the realization that one Romanov is living still
Wakes Rasputin, now a zombie, to enact his wicked will.
 
Anya, Vlad, and gruff Dimitri barely jump and make a dash
When Rasputin’s glowing minions cause the trio’s train to crash.
Anya then is trained and coached to fit the royal princess mold,
And Dimitri falls in love, although their friendship started cold.
 
As their boat is Paris-bound, Rasputin spoils Anya’s dream,
And she very nearly drowns because of his unholy scheme.
Still in Paris, her grandmother sees too many greedy fakes,
Passing as her Anastasia for one million rubles’ sakes.
 
When Dimitri tries to get the two of them at last to meet,
Her grandmother doesn’t want to, just assuming his deceit.
But Dimitri now is sure that Anya is the real princess.
He succeeds in reuniting both of them through stubbornness.
 
Anastasia finally is home and where she’s meant to be,
And Rasputin has decided he will kill her personally.
He attacks and nearly has her, but Dimitri comes to aid,
Which helps her destroy a relic, breaking that dark deal he made.
 
With Rasputin gone forever, Romanovs are safe at last.
Anastasia and Dimitri then elope extremely fast,
And the once-lost Russian princess has her future and her past.
___________________
 

Anastasia is the only film on my list made by maverick animator Don Bluth because it is the one that comes closest not only to being a Disney movie but also to being of Broadway play quality. I can appreciate The Secret of NIMH, All Dogs Go to Heaven, and The Land Before Time, but they frequently waver between being too childish to too dark for their own good. An American Tail came closest to earning a spot on my list, mainly for its music, though I do also fondly remember The Pebble and the Penguin from my childhood.

Anastasia does have the Don Bluth touch, mainly in the way it presents some dark elements. Rasputin’s selling his soul (assumedly to the devil) and his demonic minions is as troubling as Dr. Facilier’s voodoo conjuring in The Princess and the Frog, and my mom was understandably uncomfortable in letting me see the end at such a young age. Anastasia is one of a group of very different films that stick out in my mind as sharing a traumatic climax in which the villain is graphically evaporated. Quest for Camelot and The Black Cauldron didn’t make it to my list either, but Anastasia has many other factors that make it list-worthy, even though its villain death is perhaps the worst.

The animation is gorgeous. While Bluth’s films don’t always excel at certain aspects, like the fluidity of human faces, the character designs and backgrounds are excellently rendered. The scenes of the royal palace are particularly impressive, as is the exciting train crash sequence. The music is also marvelous and quite underrated, I’d say. It starts off with an initial city-spanning showstopper akin to “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast; later is Rasputin’s surprisingly malevolent but catchy villain song “In the Dark of the Night,” reminiscent of Scar’s “Be Prepared”; and the best of them all is the haunting “Once upon a December,” which has the immersive, spellbinding melody of something from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. All in all, it excels as a musical, and the songs by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty (Seussical) match even Alan Menken’s output.

The voices are also extensive and well-cast, featuring Meg Ryan as Anastasia, John Cusack as Dimitri, Kelsey Grammer as Vlad, Christopher Lloyd as Rasputin, Hank Azaria as Bartok the bat (whose voice makes everything he says funny), and Angela Lansbury as the Empress/Grandmama. Anastasia herself is a great character who I think deserves inclusion among the popular animated princesses.

I don’t care for some of Bluth’s darker inclusions, such as the sometimes nasty instances of Rasputin’s body parts falling off, but this is still the closest he came to a Disney-style movie. Anastasia is a fine film that remains as good as I remember it as a child.

Best line: (Anya, after waking up suddenly and hitting Dimitri) “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else—oh, it’s you. Well, that’s okay, then.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (dark elements): -5
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60

 

Next: #212 – The Elephant Man

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

Memphis Belle (1990)

09 Monday Jun 2014

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The Allies fought hard in the Second World War
From beaches to fields everywhere,
But hundreds of thousands were chosen to soar
And battle the foes from the air.
 
One crew of such men who attacked from the sky
Was those on the plane Memphis Belle.
Twenty-four missions they managed to fly,
Surviving the aerial hell.
 
The twenty-fifth outing, their last for the war,
Both thrills and unnerves them at once.
They all celebrate at a party before
The mission that nobody wants.
 
There’s Dennis, the pilot, who rigidly reigns,
And Luke, the co-pilot, who’s brash
And wants just one chance to shoot down German planes
And gets it and causes a crash.
 
There’s Phil, who is nervous and fears he will die,
And Virge, who has restaurant ambitions,
And Jack, who likes teasing poor Gene, a young guy
Who prays and brings medals on missions.
 
There’s Rascal, the ladies’ man who almost falls when
His ball turret’s shot in midair,
And Clay, the tail gunner, who usually stalls when
He’s asked for his crooning to share.
 
There’s bombardier Val, who lets drop their payload,
Despite a blurred target at first.
He claims he’s a doctor who’ll soon hit the road,
But proves he knows naught when coerced.
 
For Danny, a young Irish poet who’s kind,
Is injured while they’re flying back.
Val faces a choice that perplexes his mind
But keeps Dan from fading to black.
 
Within sight of base, they are nearly home free,
But one of their landing gear’s stuck.
They quickly descend the wheel manually,
And everyone cheers at their pluck.
 
They get Danny quickly to medical care,
And all of the heroes exult.
They each did their duty and fought from the air,
And home awaits as a result.
_______________
 

War movies often focus on different aspects of a conflict in order to stay fresh and avoid copying another film that’s already been done. Lawrence of Arabia focused on the war in the Middle East; The Great Escape presented POWs in Europe; The Bridge on the River Kwai had POWs in the South Pacific; War Horse was from a faithful steed’s perspective; and Patton centered on a single general of World War II. Memphis Belle chooses to shine a spotlight on the WWII bombers in the air. It doesn’t so much focus on aerial dogfights as on a group of barrack buddies who are given a task and simply try to survive so they can go home. It isn’t historically accurate when it comes to the real Memphis Belle and its missions and crew, but this is a realistic war film that gives an authentic sense of actually being on a dangerous bombing run.

The best war films manage to create characters that viewers can care about in the midst of peril, and Memphis Belle certainly succeeds in this regard. Each of the young men on the plane has unique personalities and traits that make them into real people. Even if their names don’t stick, one can remember the religious gunner (Courtney Gains), the cocky co-pilot (Tate Donovan), the careful pilot (Matthew Modine), the lecherous gunner (Sean Astin), the nervous navigator (D. B. Sweeney), the calm crooner (Harry Connick, Jr.), and the doubtful doctor (Billy Zane), among others. The initial voiceover introductions don’t help all that much in distinguishing the characters, but by the end each has a moment, an act of kindness, a moral quandary, a fateful decision, that helped me know and appreciate each one. That being said, I do have trouble telling the actors apart at times. I can easily recognize Sean Astin and Billy Zane from their other films I’ve seen, but I’m not as familiar with the others so most of them look the same to me. Even so, David Strathairn offers John Lithgow’s character (and the audience) a heart-tugging glimpse at the war’s losses and the difficult job faced by officers as well.

During the mission, almost everything goes wrong, from cloud cover over the target to engine fires to lost comrades on nearby planes to the landing gear not lowering properly. The excitement and entertainment also come from how the men deal with these issues and the general stress of the mission. One gets drunk, one prays, one whittles, one does magic tricks, and one writes poetry (yeah, I like Danny [Eric Stoltz]). Though there’s some unfortunate language, the violence is restrained, and the very human characters and engagingly episodic plot make up for it. You won’t find too many war films on my list, but Memphis Belle definitely deserves a spot.

Best line: (Gene, searching through the barracks) “Has anyone seen my St. Anthony’s medal?”
(Danny) “Isn’t he the patron saint of lost things?”
(Gene) “Yeah, I can’t find it.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language): -4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #213 – Anastasia (1997)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

Dances with Wolves (1990)

08 Sunday Jun 2014

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Wounded in battle, John Dunbar decides
That suicide will be his lot.
He’s unsuccessful as blindly he rides,
Somehow inspiring both of the sides,
Till the Union has captured the spot.
 
Dunbar, a hero, is given his pick
Of posts stationed far off or near.
Choosing a place where the gunfire’s not thick,
A place where a lifestyle is vanishing quick,
He goes to the western frontier.
 
Reaching his post, he is just on his own,
And nobody knows he is there.
Writing his journal and cleaning his zone,
Having no clue how long he’ll be alone,
He simply must wait and prepare.
 
Soon John encounters the curious Sioux,
A neighboring Indian tribe.
Tentatively, they communicate through
Gifts and hand motions, and friendships ensue,
Which John is intent to describe.
 
Hand motions only can get them so far,
So Kicking Bird, one holy man,
Brings out a girl who is less like they are,
White, and who has an emotional scar.
They saved and raised her in their clan.
 
English comes slowly as Stands with a Fist,
The girl, tries to speak for her friends.
Though she at first tried to stall and resist,
Slowly she bridges the gaps that exist,
And each of them soon comprehends.
 
Coveted buffalo enter their lands,
And John assists as the tribe hunts.
Dunbar soon falls for the beautiful Stands.
Feeling this country is yet in good hands,
He lives with the Sioux as he wants.
 
Dances with Wolves is what Dunbar is named
Because of a wolf he befriends.
Soon Dunbar’s marriage to Stands is proclaimed;
John is a Sioux now and stands unashamed;
His new family he defends.
 
Winter approaches, and John will leave too,
But after retrieving his journal.
John finds the fort full of his soldiers, who
Capture him, thinking that he is a Sioux.
The good life proves far from eternal.
 
Charged as a traitor, he’ll soon meet the noose
From soldiers both callous and crass.
After he suffers their constant abuse,
John’s fellow Indians set their friend loose
And flee to a safe mountain pass.
 
John and his wife choose in sorrow to leave
To save his Sioux friends, who move on.
Dances with Wolves and his confidants grieve,
For he is sure there will be no reprieve
Till Indian ways are all gone.
_______________________
 

As Kevin Costner’s directorial debut, Dances with Wolves is an accomplishment of the highest order. It earned seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Director, Score, Cinematography, Adapted Screenplay, Sound, and Film Editing. Though Costner fell from Hollywood’s good graces for a time since then, Dances with Wolves stands as a triumph of which he can always be proud. That being said, the end of this film irritates me.

I could claim that I don’t have a problem with a film being realistic, but I suppose I do, at least when it’s done as this film was. It presents a unique lifestyle that has almost completely disappeared and remains fascinating even when the pace may seem slow. Yet it goes beyond this to make you genuinely care for various things (John’s journal, his horse Cisco, his lupine pal Two Socks), only to jerk the rug out from under you, to desecrate these elements for the sake of proving how bad the white man was. I’m not going to argue with history; I am sympathetic to the fact that the Native Americans suffered much over the years, including the loss of their way of life, but this film seems so one-sided that it feels emotionally manipulative by the end.

On the other hand, I can pick up on a number of latent issues that the film doesn’t address directly. For instance, Dunbar technically did desert his post at the fort; however good his reasons were, he was a deserter, certainly at fault in that regard.

Though the film has more obvious intentions (Sioux good, Pawnee and white man bad except for John), the main message I choose to take from the film and its historical context is the importance of prudence and an open mind. One thing that bothers me is how the soldiers shot John at first sight, not even thinking to assess his intentions. They no doubt had only heard tales of the atrocities committed by hostile Indians, which, to be fair, are also presented in the film, though not by the Sioux. Likewise, the Sioux warrior Wind In His Hair’s first reaction to John’s presence is to kill him, but Kicking Bird was wise enough to attempt diplomacy, as John was too. Attacking and asking questions later (if at all) only produced pain and heartache, but both sides’ willingness to come to a mutual understanding sparked friendship and respect.

All this discussion could have been avoided if the filmmakers had left out about twenty minutes of the soldiers’ cruelty, as well as some crude and weird elements at the beginning. The middle of the film, in which John learns the ways of the Sioux, is a pleasure to watch, even with most of the dialogue in the Lakota language. I liked the scene in which Kicking Bird is surprised when he looks through John’s telescope, since it was recycled a year later in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with Costner switching roles as the one looking shocked at this strange invention. The magnificent buffalo hunt (featuring a real buffalo herd) and the battle between the Sioux and Pawnee are wonders to behold and were both difficult and dangerous to film. Kevin Costner as Dunbar doesn’t have that much of a personality, but that’s all right since he acts as a decent everyman character through whom the audience is also exposed to the Sioux camp. Mary McDonnell is quite believable as Stands with a Fist, and Graham Greene is also excellent as the reasonable medicine man Kicking Bird.

I’ve visited Rapid City, South Dakota, where part of the film was shot, including the set for Fort Hays, and having actually seen the outdated buildings and the rolling, wide-open prairies helped me appreciate the film and its setting even more.  It may frustrate me that the soldiers in the film defile what it urges viewers to cherish, but Dances with Wolves is still a film of great historical significance that ought to be seen. Its acting, score, and historical importance make it a classic of the western genre, focusing more on the Indians than on the cowboys.

Best line: (Wind In His Hair, as Dunbar acts like a buffalo to get his point across) “His mind is gone.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 8
Watchability: 5
Other (language and aforementioned issues): -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #214 – Memphis Belle

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

07 Saturday Jun 2014

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Both Carmen and Juni are now superspies,
Esteemed for their expertise and their small size.
They’re called in to rescue the President’s daughter
When she gets in danger so her dad will spot her,
But Gary and Gerti, the Giggles, step in
And steal all the spotlight, to Juni’s chagrin.
 
A formal spy banquet gives cause for concern
When Donnagon Giggles, who’s crooked we’ll learn,
Is named the new head of the whole OSS,
When really it should have been Mr. Cortez.
Some magnetic henchmen who do not play nice
Attack and obtain the Transmooker device.
 
Though Juni is blamed for the prized gadget’s loss,
His sister, through hacking, just sidesteps their boss.
They send the two Giggles on some dirty mission
While they take a coveted new expedition.
They’re sent to an island that doesn’t exist,
But when their sub shuts down, it cannot be missed.
 
Their gadgets are useless upon this strange isle,
And after exploring and falling awhile,
They locate Romero, a scientist who
Made hybridized creatures to fill his own zoo.
These beasts run amok while their maker yet hides,
But he proves of use with the news he provides.
 
He built the Transmooker, which hides this whole isle,
And tells how to find it through many a trial.
Once they have fought skeletons, monsters, and Gary,
They get the Transmooker; it’s dangerous, very.
Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents track
Their whereabouts so they can bring the kids back.
 
At last, there’s a standoff between the two sides,
Cortezes and Giggles (Romero besides).
Though Donnagon’s winning, his daughter won’t let
Her father take over the world as a threat.
The villain is fired as OSS head,
And Mr. Cortez gets that honor instead.
Romero connects with his creatures at last,
And all the Cortezes, a team unsurpassed,
Go back home together. (The credits go fast.)
______________________
 

After the initial success of the first Spy Kids, it certainly had the potential to grow into a “keeper” of a franchise, and this sequel just confirmed that. Most people probably like the first one better, but I like Spy Kids 2 more because it ramps up the sheer coolness to new heights and leaves out the loopy weirdness of Floop for the most part in favor of more awesome weirdness.

In many ways, this film feels like Robert Rodriguez’s melting pot, in which he threw so many seemingly random elements that somehow still came together into a coherent and entertaining adventure. There are impressive gadgets, crazy theme park rides, magnet-heads, robot bugs, sea monsters, bottomless volcanoes, a mad scientist, flying pigs, Harryhausen-esque skeletons, miniature crossbreeds, giant crossbreeds, a flying wheelchair, girl power, and even Antonio Banderas’s mustache. The part with the skeletons and mind-reading does feel rather out of place, but any movie that can manage all that so successfully is quite an achievement.

Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara do just as well here as in the first film, and Steve Buscemi balances silliness and sincerity as Romero. It’s a shame that the villainous Donnagon (Mike Judge), as well as “Uncle” Felix (Cheech Marin), show so little gratitude for the fact that the Cortezes saved them from life as Fooglies in the first film. Yet Donnagon’s two children Gary and Gertie are welcome additions to the Spy Kids lineup, as are Holland Taylor and Ricardo Montalban as Ingrid Cortez’s parents. Plus, Bill Paxton looked like he was having fun in the opening scene at the amusement park.

With so much added to the franchise with this film, it’s a real shame that it degraded so quickly to Spy Kids 3-D. Journey to the Center of the Earth has many scenes clearly meant for 3-D, but it didn’t distract from the film too much. It was nice that Ricardo Montalban got more screen time, but Spy Kids 3-D was so obviously gimmicky and flimsy that its visuals and large cast could not save it from being a big disappointment for a franchise that had seemed to be getting better and better.

Even so, Spy Kids 2 stands out as another fun adventure, once again celebrating family ties. The special effects aren’t perfect but have a unique look that is sometimes reminiscent of Jason and the Argonauts. Plus, that concert at the end in which Alexa Vega sings “Isle of Dreams” is energetic, funny, and deserving of a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Good stuff.

Best line: (Gary, and later Juni) “An agent is only as good as his gadgets.” (which is subtly disproved later on)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #215 – Dances with Wolves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

The Terminator (1984)

06 Friday Jun 2014

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The future is dismal and vast:
Machines conquered Earth very fast.
The humans impede
On the bots and succeed,
But one cyborg goes to the past.
 
This buff, human-like Terminator
Is out for the blood of a waiter.
He wants Sarah Connor,
Is almost upon her,
But fails when he tries to negate her.
 
A human came too, Kyle Reese,
To not let this woman decease.
He gets her away,
But they both cause a fray,
And are captured by L.A. police.
 
The cyborg of termination
Just massacres all at the station.
Both Sarah and Reese
Seize this chance for release
And flee from the sheer devastation.
 
They go to a hotel and kiss,
Conceiving the cause of all this.
For Sarah’s son John
Will lead rebellion,
Which all the machines want to miss.
 
The cyborg finds them and gives chase,
And they run all over the place.
They blow up the bot;
It’s dead now…or not.
It now has a scarier face.
 
They take a dark factory tour
And then blow it up like before.
Reese dies from the blast,
But it’s over at last.
No, wait, half its body wants more!
 
When Sarah is done panicking,
She finally crushes the thing.
No more Terminator,
She then drives south later
And fears what the future will bring.
___________________
 

James Cameron has directed a number of great feature films and some less than great, but it all started with this one (if you ignore Piranha II). The plot combines traditional horror hunts with a surprisingly well-thought-out dystopian future and time travel to create something at once scary, thrilling, and unique, especially for 1984.

I think the main reason for its success was not Linda Hamilton as Sarah or Michael Biehn as Reese (though both do an excellent job) but Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will forever be the Terminator. If great acting involves simply being steely enough to intimidate both the characters and the audience, then the former governor of California is a master. Many critics said the role was perfect for him because he didn’t have to speak much. He’s so integral to the franchise that he’ll even be in the reboot next year.

The film itself is a thrill ride with great focus put on the car chases. My VC, who likes the film too, actually thought the chase scenes ran on rather long. The part involving Reese and Sarah’s romance in the hotel room slowed it down a bit too much, in addition to throwing in unnecessary nudity.

Overall, it is certainly an R-rated movie. There’s profanity, tons of shooting and deaths (though Cameron could have made it worse), the nudity, and that icky scene with the Terminator’s eye, which is mitigated by the fact that it’s obviously an animatronic. Yet The Terminator is also a gold standard for sci-fi fans with cool effects and some truly awesome explosions and is a definite part of popular culture. I’ve already reviewed the third one and this is the first, so all I can say for the Terminator is that he’ll “be back.”

Best line: (you guessed it; the Terminator) “I’ll be back.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 10
Watchability: 7
Other (violence, language, nudity, etc.) -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #216 – Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Superman II (1980)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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Superman is back again
To keep the world on track again.
He loves reporter Lois Lane,
Who loves the hero heaven-sent
But not her coworker Clark Kent,
Not knowing they’re one and the same.
 
Paris has a bombing threat
And soon owes Superman a debt.
He lets the bomb explode in space,
Unknowingly releasing three
Kryptonians from captivity,
Who plan to rule the human race.
 
At Niagara Falls, though, Lane
Believes Clark isn’t so mundane.
She learns that he is Superman;
For their love he then commits
To sap his powers; he just quits
Freely, with no backup plan.
 
Ursa, Non, and General Zod
Take the planet and play God.
When Clark learns of this too late,
He regains his mighty powers
To defend this world of ours
From the trio full of hate.
 
When he cannot beat all three,
There’s one place that he can flee.
But Lex Luthor tells the sinners
Where to find him, so they soar
To his Fortress to make war.
There they vie to be the winners.
 
Superman, through cleverness,
Makes the villains powerless
And each wicked rogue descends.
Lois though is still upset,
Such that Clark makes her forget,
And they’re once again just friends.
Thus with fanfare, this tale ends.
_________________
 

Superman was one of the great original superhero movies, and this sequel continued its winning blend of (then) impressive visuals, memorable villains, and melodramatic comic-ness. My VC and I have always felt that Christopher Reeve was Superman, easily outdoing Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill in embodying the character. Likewise, Gene Hackman excels as Lex Luthor, though Kevin Spacey came close to hitting the mark in Superman Returns while making the character much darker than Hackman’s portrayal. Margot Kidder may not be the Lois Lane, but she’s the best one I’ve seen and does pair well with Reeve. Lastly, the three villains, Ursa, Non, and General Zod, may be one-dimensionally villainous, but they are certainly formidable opponents for the man of steel.

I’ll go ahead and say that the first film is higher on my list, mainly because this second one has some elements that bother me. Aside from some silly effects, like clothes fluttering in the “breeze” of space, Superman himself is much less vigilant than he ought to be, letting both a nuclear threat in Paris and a worldwide extraterrestrial takeover slip past him. His removal of his powers (for the sake of “love”) may be romantic, but it also seems quite selfish and irresponsible on his part, as well as Lois Lane’s. The scene where he is beaten up in a diner confirmed the issue to me. In the first film, it was clear that Superman was pretending to be the nerdy Clark Kent; in Superman II, mainly in the middle part, it seems as if Clark Kent is pretending to be Superman and failing.

Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable superhero film that may not have the spectacular effects of more recent movies (though some destructive scenes in the Metropolis battle are impressive), but the familiar characters, engaging plot, glorious score, and campy action come together to make it a classic. It’s also much better than its two sequels. I haven’t seen them, but my VC says don’t bother.

Best line (or at least the most laughable): (a Metropolis bystander, after they think Superman has been defeated by the invulnerable supervillains) “They’ve killed Superman! What are we gonna do now?” (another man) “Let’s go get ’em! C’mon, I know some judo.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #217 – The Terminator

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting