Two years since the big divorce,
And Tracy Lord has no remorse.
The wealthy heiress soon will wed,
And tabloids, wanting to be read,
Will stop at nothing to inveigle
For what news they can finagle.
Macaulay Connor’s sent by Spy
To get the story none can buy,
Accompanied by pressured Dex,
Miss Lord’s both sore and spiteful ex.
To Lord’s dismay, she lets them stay,
Despite her coming wedding day.
Their presence tends to complicate
And spark unusual debate,
Which makes the vain Miss Tracy Lord,
That goddess always so adored,
To wonder of her selfish life
And who she’ll choose to call her wife.
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The Philadelphia Story is just one of the many old black-and-white films lauded by the AFI, which I’ve only begun to check out. It made #51 on their original top 100 list, and the 2007 update raised it to #44, since it’s supposedly such a classic. It’s said to be the best example of the comedy of remarriage, a genre popular at the time; if that’s true, I have little hope for any others. As much as I hate to dissent from the critical consensus, I was not impressed and consider this an example of a film undeserving of its classic status.
With such famous actors involved, I had expected more. I love Jimmy Stewart, who earned a Best Actor Oscar for his role as writer Macaulay “Mike” Connor. I like Katharine Hepburn too. I have no feelings whatsoever about Cary Grant. Yet I did not enjoy this film, because of that lynchpin of any good film: the script. While the critically lauded, Oscar-winning screenplay was clever at times and had some humor, mainly from Stewart, such as his encounter with a linguistically old-fashioned librarian, the script was, shall I say, too flowery. Many call it elegant; I call it pretentious. The work of famed dialogue writers like Aaron Sorkin and Nora Ephron may be idealized beyond the typical limitations of ordinary speech, but as I was watching The Philadelphia Story, my VC and I kept thinking, “No one talks like this!” I don’t even think wealthy people in 1940 spoke like this. Flowery language can be cheesily poetic, such as in It’s a Wonderful Life when George Bailey says he’ll give Mary the moon: “Well, then you can swallow it, and it’ll all dissolve, see… and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair…. Am I talking too much?” When lines like that make up the bulk of a film, though, the answer to that question is a resounding “Yes!” A protracted and rather awkward exchange between Stewart and Hepburn in a night garden prompted my VC to call it one of the worst romantic scenes she’d ever seen. I wouldn’t go that far, but she disliked the film more than I.
On top of the dialogue issue, I didn’t care for any of the characters, particularly Hepburn’s impudent Tracy Lord. As various people pile on the accusations of her considering herself a “goddess,” I found it hard to believe that no one had called her that before and was unsure why it would suddenly bother her now. I didn’t really feel sorry for this controlling bride-to-be, with her “poor little rich girl” mentality. Anticipating the popularity of reality shows and inside looks at the rich and famous, Stewart muses, “The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.” I, for one, can think of much more entertaining sights.
Best line: (Margaret Lord) “The course of true love…” (Macaulay Connor) “…gathers no moss.”
Rank: Dishonorable Mention© 2015 S. G. Liput
292 Followers and Counting
News reporter Kimberly Wells was hired,
For her pretty face and the ratings it drew.
Hard news is the journalist’s grail desired,
Dauntless and brand new.
She discovers just such a story when she’s
Sent to film a nuclear power station.
Sudden shutdown captured on film may displease
That corporation.
Cautious Jack Godell at the plant is worried:
Noises from the accident he alone fears.
Work to bring the plant back online is hurried;
Nobody there hears.
Those behind the overpriced project will block
Whistleblowers trying to thwart their tactic.
Brave Godell’s forced warnings yet hope to cause shock
With stunt climactic.
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Attorneys need a home in which to practice proper law.
Bendini, Lambert, Locke have quite the lawyer-luring draw.
Can anyone resist a wealthy, prosperous career?
Doubt not that it is tempting for young hotshot Mitch McDeere.
Enjoying all the pleasures that the firm has deigned to give,
Family and barbeques, a house in which to live,
Good times that lack a down side just as far as he can tell,
His wife and he are happy…till they lose some personnel.
In no time, Mitch is well aware that something isn’t right;
Jobs shouldn’t cause the FBI to come to you at night.
Know-nothing newbie lawyers like McDeere don’t have a clue;
Like often said, beware an offer too good to be true.
Mitch finds out that the mafia employ his newfound firm;
Nobody leaves the company or life becomes short-term.
On every side, there’s pressure: worry, guilt, concern, and shame,
Plus conscience-stinging ethics that he never can reclaim.
Qualms urge him to uncover ways to flee his latest job,
Replete with all the pleasures and the dangers of the mob,
So quick to reel him in and think that he would play along.
The Feds will be no friendlier should anything go wrong.
Undaunted by the challenge, Mitch discovers how to weigh
Veracity with justice at the climax of the day.
With those he cares the most for, he attempts a daring play;
Excitement follows after when the firm gets in the way.
Yet Mitch has all the intel and integrity he needs:
Zip right into the lion’s den and hope the plan succeeds.
_________________

Do you enjoy some boardwalk fun
Where music pleases everyone
After the setting of the sun,
Where there resides a hidden fright,
Where teens go out to grab a bite
And murky murder plagues the night?
Then move to Santa Carla!
That’s where both Sam and Michael found
That teenage vampires abound
In coastal towns that bum around.
The elder learned to not imbibe
The blood of some vampire tribe
That sends a vague and creepy vibe.
If that should happen, it is best
To not be overly distressed
But stake the suckers through the chest.
Beware the bikers you befriend
Who look like Kiefer Sutherland.
There’s evil eager to descend
If you move to Santa Carla.
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