Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Iron Lady (2011)

20 Friday Jun 2014

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Margaret Thatcher, once so proud,
Voicing her opinions loud,
Now can’t be seen in a crowd.
 
Her caretakers fear and dread
That she’s not right in the head,
Talking to her spouse, long dead.
 
She recalls how she began,
A grocer’s daughter with a plan,
Less respected than a man.
 
Denis helps her reminisce:
How they met and their first kiss,
His support and wedded bliss.
 
In ’59, she won a seat
And earned support, as well as heat,
For her refusal to retreat.
 
Two decades, she tried to stir
Conservatives, who heeded her
Till she ran for Prime Minister.
 
With some changes, Margaret Thatcher
Rose in her appeal and stature.
No competitors could catch her.
 
Her government did hit some ruts
And protests for her spending cuts,
Yet she would stand no ifs or buts.
 
When the Falklands were invaded,
She made choices many hated,
But she held her own, as stated.
 
Although she won and all seemed fine,
She railed at those who lacked her spine,
And her MPs made her resign.
 
Now she’s old, without a throne.
Denis died; this she has known.
She sends him off and is alone.
 
Though her laws were met with strife,
She improved things with her life,
As a leader, mother, wife.
___________________
 

The Iron Lady, a biopic about conservative British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, boasts one of Meryl Streep’s greatest performances. She wholly immerses herself in the role such that I see and hear Thatcher even while I know it’s Streep.

Beyond the actress alone, though, the film is almost two stories in one, the obvious one featuring Thatcher’s life story and a much more intimate one involving the elderly Margaret and her dementia-conjured husband Denis (played endearingly by Jim Broadbent). While the first shines a spotlight on the impact she had on history, I prefer the second, which is more emotional and bittersweet. When she sits contentedly talking to an empty chair about the price of milk or turns on all the kitchen appliances to drown out her delusions, I can’t help but think that this plotline could easily have made an excellent film with no connection to Thatcher at all. The scene with Denis’s departure is particularly touching.

As for the historical side, I commend the filmmakers for not only keeping the film clean (aside from a brief shot of nudity) but also staying surprisingly neutral in their portrayal of Thatcher. It does seem as if they focus too much on the negative effects of her policies (violent protests, IRA bombings), but at least her conservative ideology is allowed its say as well. Though there’s an uncomfortable scene of her acting unusually harsh, presumably from stress, the film focuses for the most part on her accomplishments, her empowering of women, her victory with the Falklands War, her concern for the mothers of fallen soldiers, and her sincere desire to help the British nation (whether people agreed with her methods or not).

While I don’t know how accurate the depiction of her later years is, the final scene bears a quiet and meaningful message of the inevitability of old age and things we never would have considered doing in youth, a theme that transcends an ordinary biopic. Streep certainly deserved her Best Actress Oscar, and whether or not one likes or agrees with Thatcher, it’s a powerful film that’s well worth watching.

Best line: (Denis, as Margaret is viewing old family movies of her children) “You can rewind it, but you can’t change it.”

VC’s best line: (Margaret Thatcher) “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: N/A (except for one explosion)
Originality: 9
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #202 – Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

© 2014 S. G. Liput

135 Followers and Counting

 

Peter Pan (1953)

19 Thursday Jun 2014

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(This one is best sung to the tune of “You Can Fly”)
 
Wendy and Michael and John
Like to listen, play, and fawn
Over tales of Peter Pan,
Who won’t grow into a man
But always stay a boy
With his youth as the source of his joy.
 
Their father can’t stand the thought
Of these silly games they’ve got.
Since she is no more a pup,
He insists his girl grow up.
But when parents go out,
Peter and Tinker Bell sneak about.
 
Once Peter’s shadow is caught,
Wendy starts to talk a lot.
When she mentions loving mothers,
Pan wants her for him and others
Back in Neverland
And she won’t have to grow up, as planned.
 
Tinker Bell’s envy is plain,
But her protests are in vain.
With some faith, and trust as well,
And some dust from Tinker Bell,
The kids are soaring high.
They can fly! They can fly! They can fly!
 
Soon they arrive there and—Look!
It’s the pirate Captain Hook,
Who feared throughout the isle,
But he fears a crocodile.
Hook despises Pan,
For the lad once cut off Hook’s left hand.
 
After a couple close calls
From falls and Hook’s cannonballs,
Wendy goes to see mermaids;
John and Michael lead parades,
But soon the boys are caught
By the Indians; happy they’re not.
 
Wendy and Peter behold
Hook’s next evil plan unfold:
He has nabbed the chief’s own daughter,
Placing her in rising water,
But Pan does outsmart
Hook and Smee, and the croc plays its part.
 
After the Lost Boys and Pan
Revel with the Indian clan,
Wendy quickly feels ignored,
But her value is restored
When she decides to sing
Of the joys that a mother can bring.
 
Hook uses Tinker Bell’s spite
Against Wendy to, one night,
Learn of Peter’s whereabouts
And to kidnap all his scouts,
While leaving a surprise
To ensure that his enemy dies.
 
Tinker Bell saves Peter Pan,
Who flies off to stop Hook’s plan.
First, he frees his captured friends,
And the company defends
Against the pirate crew;
Pan and Hook have a duel overdue.
 
Once Pan has bested the crook
And replaced ol’ Captain Hook,
Back to London they’ve a trip
On a flying pirate ship,
And Wendy’s parents see
Being young’s not a bad thing to be.
________________
 

Walt Disney had hoped Peter Pan would be his second animated film after Snow White, but, though he had to wait about fifteen years due to legal issues and World War II, his animation and storytelling had merely improved over that time to make Peter Pan yet another children’s classic (and incidentally Michael Jackson’s favorite film). There are plenty of small details that make it timeless, from Hans Conreid’s distinctive voice as both Hook and Mr. Darling to memorable scenes like the children landing on the face of Big Ben.

Like Pinocchio, I don’t always think of Peter Pan as a musical, but its melodies are certainly distinctive. While “The Second Star to the Right” and “You Can Fly” are the most memorable, little elements of the score are instantly recognizable, including the crocodile’s tick-tocking theme to the low tune heard when the Indians are introduced. It’s true that the portrayal of the Indians in the film is outdated, stereotypical, and potentially offensive, but, for good or bad, the deep-voiced “How!” remains an enduring line from the film.

There are a number of changes from J. M. Barrie’s original stage play, such as deleting the clap-if-you-believe-in-fairies audience participation in favor of a bomb left by Hook and foiled by Tinker Bell. Still, it’s one of the best of Disney’s original lineup. Peter Pan is a nostalgic visit to Neverland that never gets old.

Best line: (Peter Pan; classic as they come) “Second star to the right and straight on till morning.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 6
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #203 – The Iron Lady

© 2014 S. G. Liput

135 Followers and Counting

 

Superman (1978)

18 Wednesday Jun 2014

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The distant planet Krypton, after stopping an attack
By Ursa, Non, and Zod, confines all three (but they’ll be back).
But scientist Jor-El still feels that Krypton’s on the brink
Of imminent destruction, which nobody else will think.
 
As Krypton starts to crumble, he sends out his infant son,
And once the world explodes, the young Kal-El’s the only one.
He flies throughout the stars before crash landing on our sphere
And is adopted by the Kents, who know he’s not from here.
 
“Clark” grows and calls the earth his home, the Kents his mom and dad,
But tries to hide the speed and strength that he has always had.
When Jonathan, his wise old father, passes from this earth,
Clark finds the hidden secret of his otherworldly birth.
 
He leaves with one green crystal for the Arctic, strangely led,
And throws it to create a giant fortress there instead.
Recordings of Jor-El reveal the secrets he will master,
The reason for his powers which he’ll use to stop disaster.
 
Years later, at the Daily Planet Clark Kent is employed,
Now acting timid; any danger he’s quick to avoid.
Though he’s a hero, strong reporter Lois Lane can’t tell
And thinks him geeky when he faints and says the old word “swell.”
 
A helicopter accident puts Lois Lane in danger
Until she then is rescued by a blue-and-red-clad stranger.
He flies around Metropolis, performing decent deeds,
Preventing crimes and helping citizens with all their needs.
 
Intent on learning more of him, Lane gets an interview
With enigmatic Superman, and one free night flight too.
Her articles and news reports attract the veiled attention
Of evil mastermind Lex Luthor, who drips condescension.
 
He formulates a wicked scheme to redirect two bombs
And sink the California coast without the slightest qualms.
He steals a foreign meteor that glows with greenish light,
Attracting Superman to cripple him with Kryptonite.
 
Though Superman is rescued and stops one bomb, he’s too late;
The other causes earthquakes, sealing California’s fate.
Our hero still saves buses, towns, and fault lines too, although
He cannot save poor Lois Lane from landslides even so.
 
Heartsick with grief, he breaks a rule, reversing our Earth’s time,
To bring back Lois and prevent the worst of Luthor’s crime.
He drops off Luthor at a jail, and flies ‘twixt Earth and space,
The ever-faithful guardian of all the human race.
_____________________
 

The first modern superhero movie, Superman was a really big deal when it was released in 1978, pulling out big name stars like Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman and charging big bucks for product placement. (I hope it was worth it, Cheerios.) Watching it thirty-six years later, the special effects are still effective, quite deserving of the Special Achievement Award they received, and John Williams’ magnificent score remains as iconic as it was then. Anyone who can compose for Jane Eyre and Superman and make them both synonymous with the film is a master composer.

As I said in my Superman II post, Christopher Reeve is Superman, and I have yet to see anyone who can wear the red cape as well as he could. Gene Hackman introduces Lex Luthor with the perfect blend of villainy and charisma. (Villains are always more menacing when you see their hands first, right?) Margot Kidder also does well as Lois Lane, and I like the little quirks the filmmakers added to her character, like her constantly misspelling of words. Embracing the role of Daily Planet chief Perry White, Jackie Cooper acts as an entertaining forerunner to J. Jonah Jameson of the Spider-Man films.

The film does have some faults other than the San Andreas one. Some scenes go on much too long, such as the rather boring opening credits, the construction of his Fortress of Solitude, and his flight with Lois Lane. Since they still had Williams’ memorable score, it’s not as bad as Star Trek: The Motion Picture in that regard, but these scenes make the film longer than it needed to be. Also, Lex Luthor makes some astounding leaps of reasoning to deduce that a particular meteorite in Africa came from Superman’s home planet, and “it stands to reason” that it must be deadly for the man of steel. It’s a good hypothesis, but there’s nothing to back it up. Likewise, the final scene where Superman reverses Earth’s rotation to reverse time is perhaps the least scientific portrayal of time travel ever put on film. Again, I don’t see how he knew his actions would have the desired effect when they could just as easily have caused more earthquakes or something worse.

It’s not a perfect superhero film, but as one of the first comic book blockbusters, it’s an incredibly influential one for the genre, aiming for gravitas while also retaining some campy charm. The recent Man of Steel had plenty of the gravitas and much more eye-popping effects, but it lacked the charm. Superman Returns was unsuccessful at both for me.Though Marvel has taken over superhero films for the most part, DC had a strong start with Superman, and it still makes audiences “believe a man can fly.”

Best line: (Superman, during his interview with Lois) “I’m here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.” [I didn’t like how Superman Returns ruined that line.]   (Lois) “You’re gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #204 – Peter Pan (to complete my trilogy of films with people flying around)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

133 Followers and Counting

 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

17 Tuesday Jun 2014

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Wudan swordsman Li Mu Bai
Meditates but goes too high.
He resolves to now retire
But must still avenge his sire,
For his master was brought low
By the Jade Fox long ago.
Mu Bai has a deep connection
With Shu Lien but curbs affection.
 
When Shu Lien goes to Beijing
With Li’s sword for safekeeping,
She meets young patrician Jen,
Who befriends the strong Shu Lien.
Mu Bai’s sword Green Destiny
Soon is stolen suddenly
By a figure in the night,
Matching Shu Lien in a fight.
 
Shu Lien knows that it is Jen,
Who is stronger than most men.
One policeman wants things solved,
For the Jade Fox is involved.
In a courtyard fight, Jen shocks
Her own teacher, the Jade Fox,
As Jen proves how sharp and skilled
She can be, and so strong-willed.
 
Ere Jen’s marriage brings her woe,
She is visited by Lo,
Desert bandit and her swain,
Who insists she not remain.
Mu Bai sends him safe away,
Jen then flees and goes astray.
With the great Green Destiny,
She flaunts her ability,
Beating fighters left and right
With no end or goal in sight.
 
When she goes to see Shu Lien,
This wise woman angers Jen.
Though Jen barely wins their duel,
Li Mu Bai is much too cool.
He just wants to teach the lass,
But it seems she’d rather pass.
Jade Fox comes to “save” her pupil
But has neither love nor scruple.
 
Jen is drugged and meant to die
But rescued by Li Mu Bai.
Jade Fox dies but her foul art
Strikes him with a poison dart.
Passing while he loves Shu Lien,
Mu Bai can’t be saved by Jen.
Wishing all but love denied,
Jen leaps off the mountainside.
_______________
 

There is not an abundance of foreign-language films on my list, nor of martial arts movies, but Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is something unique. There are some moments that seem pulled from a comic book, like when Li Mu Bai says something like “We meet again, my old foe,” and there are other scenes of sheer beauty. The Oscar-winning cinematography is outstanding, showcasing the Chinese landscape from deserts to bamboo forests to towering misty mountains.

The other big draw is the bravura fight scenes, choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping of The Matrix fame. It’s staggering to imagine how much work went into staging the long, exciting martial arts duels, which are spaced periodically throughout the film. The actors leap and kick and defy gravity like Jedi knights, and, though some scenes of them running through the air look rather unrealistic, the wire work is seamless and extraordinary. The exchange with Li Mu Bai and Jen in the treetops and Jen’s awesome smackdown in a crowded restaurant are highlights of the whole genre, and the actors did most of their own stunts.

For all its visual splendor, I do wish the characters themselves were a bit more developed. Li Mu Bai, Shu Lien, and Jen are well-drawn, but most of the secondary characters aren’t given enough to do to distinguish one from another. While Ang Lee’s direction is excellent for the most part, the way he starts the film without much prologue or explanation doesn’t help the fact that I, as an American, don’t understand all of the Chinese culture he presents. As for the ending, it’s beautiful and mysterious, but it does leave the viewer scratching his head.

While most of the fighting is bloodless, there is at least one violent death, as well as a brief but steamy love scene. Despite this, the film is mostly clean and successfully portrays two distinct romances, the more mature, restrained love of Mu Bai and Shu Lien and the younger passionate love of Jen and Lo. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon merges transcendent conversations, epic action, exotic locales, vengeful villainy, and forbidden passion into an entertaining film worthy of both Oscars and awe.

Best line: (Sir Te to Shu Lien, speaking of Li Mu Bai) “When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (brief violence/sex and weak secondary characters): -4
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #205 – Superman

© 2014 S. G. Liput

132 Followers and Counting

 

Jane Eyre (1970)

16 Monday Jun 2014

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Into Lowood Institution
Comes Jane Eyre, and persecution
Plagues her and her resolution,
Helped by Helen, her one friend.
Helen dies from dereliction;
After years of cruel affliction,
Jane leaves Lowood with conviction,
Glad to flee it in the end.
 
Jane’s job ad meets with success:
She becomes with eagerness
Thornfield Hall’s new governess
To teach the young Adele.
Midway through her first semester,
She runs into one Rochester,
Who is quick to try and test her,
Since Thornfield’s his as well.
 
Strange events begin occurring,
Manic laughing, nightly stirring,
Things Rochester is preferring
To not publish or relate.
As she proves she’s sly and witty,
If not the most fair or pretty,
Jane earns sympathy and pity
When Rochester’s on a date.
 
But, upon a conversation,
Jane can’t hide infatuation,
So Rochester gives salvation,
Offering to share his life.
Just before their matrimony,
One man halts the ceremony
To contribute testimony
That Rochester has a wife.
 
She went mad and is restricted.
Though Jane’s saddened and conflicted,
She leaves Rochester afflicted
With no lover to refresh.
On the moors, enduring shivers,
Jane is saved by St. John Rivers,
A firm cleric who delivers
Sermons that condemn the flesh.
 
Sure to be a missionary,
He proposes that they marry,
But Jane can’t help but feel wary,
Since true love they do not share.
She seeks Thornfield Hall instead,
And learns Rochester’s wife is dead.
Though he’s blind, she comes to wed
He who loves the plain Jane Eyre.
_______________
 

While Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights started off with fairly happy childhoods that went horribly awry, Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre begins with pure misery and progresses to a satisfying conclusion. Thus, since I prefer happy endings, it is higher on my list. Also, whereas Wuthering Heights held heartbreaking romance alone, Jane Eyre manages the same while including some Gothic mystery as well.

Charlotte Bronte’s classic novel has seen plenty of film adaptations, but my preferred version is the 1970 television film with George C. Scott as Mr. Rochester and Susannah York as the titular heroine. Having just won an Oscar for his star turn in Patton, Scott creates the most compelling depiction of Rochester, and his hooked nose, jutting chin, and familiar gruff manner help him fit the role like a glove. Orson Welles and Michael Fassbender did all right, but Scott’s is the best Rochester performance I’ve seen. Likewise, Susannah York has the right balance of plainness and subtle beauty for the role of Jane, and her acting better evokes her internal emotions than that of Joan Fontaine or Mia Wasikowska.

Though the opening scenes at Lowood are hard to watch for their harsh cruelty to young girls, I appreciate that the film left out the part involving Jane’s equally cruel aunt so as not to extend the heartlessness. On the other hand, the section featuring St. John Rivers is actually closer to the novel than most other versions, though I personally consider that whole part as filler to give Jane something to do until Rochester’s crazy wife dies.

The end may not be quite as happy as in the book, but it has a bittersweet satisfaction that usually makes my VC start tearing up. This particular version may look dated with its Masterpiece Theatre style, but the fine acting and John Williams’ wistful Emmy-winning score makes it the quintessential Jane Eyre for me. (Interesting Wikipedia note: Apparently, it’s also the most popular version in China, having been translated into Mandarin back in the 1980s.)

Best line: (Jane, as she thinks Rochester is talking about marrying a rich lady) “Why do you confide in me like this? What are you and she to me? Do you think that because I am poor and plain, I have no feelings? I promise you, if God had gifted me with wealth and beauty, I should make it as hard for you to leave me now as it is for me to leave you. But He did not. Yet, my spirit can address yours as if both had passed through the grave and stood before Him equal.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #206 – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

© 2014 S. G. Liput

131 Followers and Counting

 

Casablanca (1942)

15 Sunday Jun 2014

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As the war is raging still,
Casablanca has its fill
Of refugees who fit the bill
Of somebody who’d want to kill
Two German couriers and steal
Some travel papers and conceal
Their one-way ticket out until
The government, a Nazi shill,
Rounds up suspects against their will.
 
The gin-joint owner Richard Blaine
Is cynical and makes it plain
He cares for naught but his own gain
And treats the world with cool disdain.
One night, he’s given at his party
Documents by one Ugarte.
Soon, Renault, the city’s main
Police chief, sees Ugarte slain
By Major Strasser, who’s a pain.
 
Strasser wants those papers quick
Lest Victor Laszlo take his pick,
But Victor has a cause to stick:
His young wife Ilsa, who knows Rick.
Though Laszlo’s part of the resistance,
Rick refuses him assistance.
Ilsa’s presence makes him sick,
For they were lovers until Rick
Was dumped and felt she’d played a trick.
 
As Laszlo makes his presence known
And shows Strasser he’s not alone,
Rick’s bar is closed because, it’s shown,
The fear of uprising has grown.
Rick’s mad, but gives Ilsa the chance
To say why she left him in France.
She thought Laszlo was dead as stone;
She loved Rick but she soon had flown
When Victor’s whereabouts were known.
 
Though Rick is sore from that affair,
He aids them and can’t help but care.
He holds Renault at gunpoint there
And of his fate is well aware.
Rick sees beloved Ilsa strain
And leave him on the Lisbon plane.
When Strasser comes to cause a scare,
Rick shoots him to protect the pair
But gets off free; Renault and he
Have more adventures yet to share.
_________________
 

Here is yet another critically lauded cinematic masterpiece that doesn’t even reach my top 200. Let me be clear: Casablanca is a classic of classics, with likable characters, witty dialogue, and a host of iconic scenes and lines. Who hasn’t heard immortal utterances like “Here’s looking at you, kid,” “We’ll always have Paris,” “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine,” and “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” said as only Humphrey Bogart can? The gorgeous Ingrid Bergman positively glows as Ilsa, and Claude Rains gives one of his best and funniest performances as the mercurial French Captain Renault.

For all its timeless appeal, I didn’t like it the first time I saw it. Granted, I was much younger, and since most of the film relies on its dialogue to propel the plot, much of it went over my head. Having seen it several times since, my esteem for it has grown, but I suppose it’s just not my kind of classic. I’m all for romance and a dose of melodrama, but Casablanca is the kind of film I have to be in the right mood to see. While Rick and Ilsa are well-written human characters, Paul Henreid is dull in comparison as Ilsa’s husband Victor Laszlo, and I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t travel under a pseudonym considering he was being hunted by the Nazis. It might have helped him get an exit visa more easily. The initially fast-moving plot also slows down a bit too much in the middle when Ilsa and Rick are discussing their relationship at night.

This and Laszlo’s weak character are the best reasons I can come up with to explain why it’s so low on my list. These are most likely grievances that very few possess so it’s probably just me. Still, I admire Casablanca for its enduring story of love and colorful script and characters, and it certainly deserved its three Oscar wins, including Best Picture. It may not always be my cup of tea, but it’s a film that still inspires countless viewers to say “Play it again, Sam.” (And yes, I know that’s not the exact line.)

Best line (avoiding the obvious): (Rick, as Renault is being forced to close the bar) “How can you close me up? On what grounds?”
(Renault) “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!”
(an employee, handing Renault some cash) “Your winnings, sir.”
(Renault) “Oh, thank you very much…. Everybody out at once!”
 
VC’s best line: (Ilsa to Rick) “I love you so much, and I hate this war so much. Oh, it’s a crazy world; anything can happen. If you shouldn’t get away, I mean, if…if something should keep us apart…. Wherever they put you and wherever I’ll be, I want you to know…. [they kiss] Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.”

 

Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 9
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #207 – Jane Eyre (1971)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

130 Followers and Counting

 

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

129 Followers and Counting

 

#210: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

13 Friday Jun 2014

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The ocean liner named Poseidon cruises from New York to Greece.
Although he’s overruled, the captain says their ballast must increase.
As New Year’s Eve is wrapping up, with partying and ecstasy,
An underwater earthquake strikes, creating a catastrophe.
A towering wave, a great tsunami, makes the giant ship capsize.
Everything’s turned upside down to cries of terror and surprise.
 
At last, the vessel settles down, and partyers are grievers now,
But soon it strikes the Reverend Scott that they must all climb up somehow.
The bow is sinking so they must try climbing toward the skyward hull;
Poseidon’s purser thinks him foolish and exerts a halting pull.
However, Scott succeeds in swaying nine brave souls to join his hope,
But everyone else stays behind to wait or help the others cope.
 
The gruff policeman Rogo comes because of Linda, his loud wife,
And Belle and Manny Rosen want to be part of their grandson’s life.
The careful haberdasher Martin, who is single, tags along
And brings with him the grieving Nonnie, singer of the party’s song.
Then there’s the wounded waiter Acres, who does know the ship a lot,
And smart lad Robin and his sister Susan, who likes Reverend Scott.
 
They scale the party’s Christmas tree and get up higher just in time;
Explosions cause the party room to flood, and it’s too late to climb.
Throughout the topsy-turvy ship, the band of passengers ascends.
Although Scott acts so self-assured, they don’t know where their journey ends.
With water closing on their heels, they climb into a lofty shaft,
And while they rise, poor Acres then falls victim to the deadly craft.
 
Since Rogo hates Scott’s domineering, he insists they join a crowd,
But Scott is sure that they are wrong and tells them so and very loud.
He goes alone to find the wanted engine room that’s toward the stern.
Once he succeeds in finding it, he leads the small group to return.
The path’s already flooded, though, so they must swim to stay on track,
And Mrs. Rosen proves her worth but passes from a heart attack.
 
Though Mr. Rosen mourns his wife, her dying words help urge him on.
They find the target engine room and scaffolding to climb upon.
A sudden blast blocks their escape, and Mrs. Rogo falls as well.
To get them through, Scott turns a searing wheel while giving God a yell.
He clears the way and then lets go, compelling them before his fall;
The final six are rescued through Scott’s sacrifice to save them all.
_____________________
 

The Poseidon Adventure is one of those classic star-studded disaster movies of the 1970s and is easily the best, as far as I’m concerned. Boasting a number of Oscar winners, including Red Buttons (Mr. Martin), Jack Albertson of Willy Wonka fame (Mr. Rosen), Shelley Winters (Mrs. Rosen), and Ernest Borgnine (Mr. Rogo), it’s a film that doesn’t just display them for the sake of bragging but puts each of them to good use, and no one is put to better use than Gene Hackman as Reverend Scott. The first time she saw it, Hackman’s assured and intense performance made my VC admire him as much as Susan in the film. My favorite, though, is the Oscar-nominated Winters as Mrs. Rosen, a likable grandmotherly type whose death was the saddest for me.

Coming years before the likes of Titanic, the disaster scenes of the ship being overturned are fairly impressive for the time and garnered the first Special Achievement Academy Award at a time when there was no category for Special Effects. The film also offers some very unique visuals, showing entire rooms, stairways, and corridors upside down and sometimes underwater.

Considering that the violence was not graphic, it’s a shame that the filmmakers included several profanities. Also, I know he’s proud to be considered unorthodox, but Scott’s view of God seems rather contradictory. On the one hand, he talks about how God doesn’t concern himself with the individual (a clearly collectivist view) but mentions “that part of God within you” that will help you if you help yourself. Assuming he’s talking about the Holy Spirit, that’s God, indicating He does assist individuals. While Scott is certainly noble in his quest and sacrifice, I think his understanding of God and His role in the world and people’s lives is rather two-dimensional. Still, I do agree with part of the sermon he gives, as reflected in my Best Line.

The Poseidon Adventure was Irwin Allen’s crowning achievement and one of the best disaster films ever, putting focus on the characters as well as the terrible things happening to them. I’ll admit that I have not seen the 2006 remake Poseidon, but when the film is already this good, why redo it just for the sake of better effects?

Best line: (Reverend Scott, in his sermon) “God wants brave souls. He wants winners, not quitters. If you can’t win, at least try to win. God loves tryers…. So what resolution should we make for the New Year? Resolve to let God know that you have the guts and the will to do it alone. Resolve to fight for yourselves, and for others, for those you love. And that part of God within you will be fighting with you all the way.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -6
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #209 – Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension (please don’t laugh)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

128 Followers and Counting

 

Annie (1999)

12 Thursday Jun 2014

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Young Annie’s a sweethearted orphan
In New York, as sharp as a tack.
Her parents left her with a note and a locket
That make her dream they will come back.
 
The orphanage isn’t too homey.
In fact, it’s all work and no play.
Her “caretaker” Hannigan hates little girls,
Who happen to fill her whole day.
 
When Annie escapes for the first time,
She finds a dog, Sandy, and sings,
But soon she is captured and back with Miss H,
Who plans several new sufferings.
 
But then good luck shines upon Annie
As they get a visit from Grace,
The personal aide to rich Oliver Warbucks,
A tycoon who wants to save face.
 
For Christmas, he’ll take in an orphan,
And Annie is given the prize.
She is unaccustomed to servants and fun
But likes it, to no one’s surprise.
 
While Oliver Warbucks seems stodgy,
She charms her way into his heart.
Before Christmas comes, he decides to adopt her,
In hopes that they never will part.
 
But Annie still hopes for her parents;
Thus Warbucks then puts out a test.
He sets a reward for her folks but attracts
Just fakers, including the best.
 
For Hannigan’s brother is greedy,
So “Rooster” and she play the Mudges.
They fool everyone into thinking they’re real,
And Annie is sad as she budges.
 
But Rooster’s girlfriend blows their cover
And sends them all packing to jail.
So Annie’s adopted, as are all her friends,
And thus ends this musical tale.
___________________
 

For my list, I chose the 1999 Disney television version of the 1977 musical Annie instead of the 1982 film version simply because I saw it first. As I first watched the Wonderful World of Disney, this film became an indelible part of my childhood. It may not have Albert Finney, Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters, who filled iconic roles quite well in the 1982 film, but it still boasts several big stars. These include Kathy Bates as the villainous Miss Hannigan, Victor Garber as “Daddy” Warbucks, Alan Cumming (known to me as Floop and Nightcrawler) as “Rooster,” Kristen Chenoweth as Rooster’s girlfriend Lily, and Audra McDonald as Grace. While McDonald’s casting seems out-of-place considering the time period, it’s interesting that she starred in this TV musical as well as the more recent revival of such productions, the Carrie Underwood version of The Sound of Music, in which McDonald played the Mother Abbess.

Annie is certainly a classic musical, but I couldn’t help but reflect on why. The typical Broadway music is certainly catchy with clever lyrics and strong end notes, particularly the songs “Tomorrow” and “N.Y.C.” Yet it doesn’t have the uniqueness or the masterful acting of musicals like Les Miserables, The Music Man, or My Fair Lady. I suppose what makes it unique is that, unlike most other musicals, the main character and several main singers are real children. These pipsqueak performers have just the right amount of heartwarming charm and sincerity to make the musical something special, just like Annie endears herself to Mr. Warbucks. And, of course, the title role (Alicia Morton in this film) is the most enchanting of all.

Though it left out several unnecessary songs, I also like this TV version because it not only sticks closer to the play’s plot but also often feels like actually watching a Broadway play. Whereas some of the songs in the 1982 Annie became sprawling numbers that could never have happened on a stage, the ones in this film feel contained but as energetic as something seen on Broadway. Some may consider this smaller feel a liability, but I think of it as a strength.

In addition to the musical winning multiple Tony Awards, this 1999 film won two Emmys for Outstanding Choreography and Outstanding Music Direction. It was one of the last TV musicals for a while too, as far as I know. The Sound of Music has luckily rekindled interest in such musicals, just as Les Mis has in the film industry. With an updated version of Annie to be released later this year (starring Quvenzhané Wallis and Jamie Foxx), I’d say the cinematic musical is alive and well.

Best line: (Warbucks, after inviting FDR to Christmas dinner) “I wonder what Democrats eat.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
Other (music): +4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #210 – The Poseidon Adventure

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting

 

The Elephant Man (1980)

12 Thursday Jun 2014

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While searching the carnival’s freakish sideshows,
Sir Frederick Treves finds one display that must close:
The Elephant Man, made grotesque, he hears tell,
When elephants struck his poor mother, who fell.
 
So hideous is this strange creature, Sir Treves
Must pay for a private exhibit and grieves,
But Treves, a rich surgeon, as well sees his chance
To show fellow doctors this medical glance.
 
He pays for John Merrick, the Elephant Man,
To come to the hospital, soon as he can.
He holds his own sideshow so doctors can gawk
And thinks John is stupid because he won’t talk.
 
When Merrick returns to his “owner” of sorts,
This drunken Bytes beats him so hard, he reports
To Treves that John fell and needs medical care.
Treves takes Merrick back, of his pains quite aware.
 
While Frederick takes custody of injured John,
He gets him to talk for his boss, one Carr Gomm.
Although John’s appearance is shocking at first,
He proves himself gentle and kind and well-versed.
 
By day, he gets visits from London elite,
Who drink tea with him while they cringe in their seat.
By night, a cruel worker intrudes on his stay
And lets people mock him as long as they pay.
 
One night, Mr. Bytes spirits John from this shore
And makes him a sideshow attraction once more.
Bytes beats John near death, treating him like an ape,
But John’s fellow freaks help their comrade escape.
 
John makes it to England (disguised, I should mention)
But causes a scene that attracts Treves’ attention.
John’s back home in comfort but dying he knows,
And since he has not seen a real play, he goes.
 
The theatre welcomes him with an ovation,
And John stands aghast at their kind commendation.
This happy night ends and so John Merrick lies
Like normal men do in their beds, and he dies.
_____________________
 

The Elephant Man is a deeply somber film based on the life of the 19th-century British man Joseph Merrick, who was not born deformed as the film implies. It earned eight Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Actor, and was the main reason for the creation of an Oscar category for Best Make-Up and Hairstyling. John Hurt is unrecognizable as the title character, with loads of make-up and authentic prosthetics transforming him into what many in the film consider a freak and a monster. Yet his acting shines through it all and complements that of Anthony Hopkins as Sir Frederick Treves. In contrast to Hurt’s ugliness, my VC commented that Hopkins “never looked so good” with that beard and mustache. Other skilled thespians round out the cast, including John Gielgud as Carr Gomm, Wendy Hiller as the head nurse Mothershead, and Freddie Jones as the despicable Bytes.

It’s a very emotional film, meant to provoke emotions in its audience: anger at Bytes and the mocking crowds; sympathy for Treves, who questions his motives for helping John but ultimately embraces him as a friend; and especially pity, sorrow, and admiration for Merrick himself. Some have accused the film of being overtly sentimental; I don’t disagree, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Mel Brooks definitely went against type to executive produce such a serious film, but I recognized director David Lynch’s fingerprints. I don’t care for most of his films because of their frequent weirdness, and the beginning and end are certainly strange. The first scenes involving overlong shots of elephants and John’s mother screaming silently were unnecessary, and, while John’s death scene with Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” playing is certainly affecting, the following celestial imagery and the final line “Nothing will die” just left me scratching my head.

Still, The Elephant Man is a well-acted period drama, which is enhanced by its black-and-white cinematography and a haunting score that I can best describe as melancholy carnie music. To be honest, it’s a real downer, but with enough moments of kindness and light to make it worth watching, at least once.

Best line: (John to Treves, before his night at the theatre) “I am happy every hour of the day. My life is full because I know that I am loved. I have gained myself. I could not say that…were it not for you.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 3
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 8
Watchability: 2
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #211 – Annie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

126 Followers and Counting