Tag Archives: Sci-fi

X-Men (2000)

06 Tuesday May 2014

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Mankind is evolving, I hear,
To mutants with powers unclear.
This world on the brink
Doesn’t know what to think,
But most are responding with fear.
 
Young Rogue is disturbed by the fact
That she cannot have human contact.
Those touching her skin
Are then sapped from within,
Often causing a harmful impact.
 
She flees to the North’s wilderness,
And watches a man have success
On the cage-fighting scene;
He is called Wolverine
And has long metal claws that impress.
 
The pair is attacked in the snow
By a Sabretooth man they don’t know.
They are rescued by two
Mutant patriots, who
Take them both far away from the foe.
 
Wolverine (also Logan) awakes
In a school built for mutant kids’ sakes.
He is urged by Jean Grey,
A smart psychic, to stay,
But flees until told of the stakes.
 
Professor Xavier founded
This school for young mutants, surrounded
By those who have banned
What they don’t understand,
Which may provoke hatred unbounded.
 
The metal-controlling kingpin
Magneto wants mutants to win.
He threatens mankind
With the team he’s combined;
His latest plan’s due to begin.
 
His shape-shifting henchgirl Mystique
Nabs Kelly, who’s known to critique.
A machine in a tower
Magneto can power
Mutates Kelly into a freak.
 
Magneto kidnaps Rogue as well,
For reasons they can’t at first tell.
Then, after debate,
They fear he’ll mutate
World leaders and their personnel.
 
Once Kelly is dead from the change,
A death both horrific and strange,
They fly to New York,
Where Magneto’s at work
To metamorphose all in range.
 
The Statue of Liberty sees
Some tense and hard-fought victories.
The good mutants halt
The bad mutants’ assault
Through metal claws, lasers, and breeze.
 
Though Rogue nearly dies from the load,
Magneto’s machine they explode.
He’s captured and jailed,
But Mystique escapes, veiled,
And Logan gets back on the road.
____________________
 

X-Men was one of the first superhero movies of the new millennium, and it reinvigorated the genre, leading to ever greater comic book films since. As the beginning of this new string of superhero blockbusters, it’s less spectacular and ambitious than more recent films but brought enough memorable characters to the screen to warrant three sequels, a prequel, and a reboot (see three posts ago).

Some characters are perfectly cast, including Patrick Stewart as Professor Charles Xavier and Ian McKellan as Magneto; others are respectable enough and given room to grow in sequels, such as Famke Janssen as Jean Grey, James Marsden as Cyclops, and Anna Paquin as Rogue; and, as typical of films stuffed with characters, some are just space fillers for fight scenes, namely Halle Berry as Storm and Magneto’s two lackeys Sabretooth and Toad. The best character, though, goes to Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, a role that continues to define his career to this year. My VC and I thought it would typecast him as the tough guy with claws, but his recent performance in Les Miserables showed how versatile an actor he is. (Cool fact: Russell Crowe, who starred with Jackman in Les Mis, was the original choice for Wolverine. That would have been…interesting.) Wolverine and Rogue offer the bulk of the character development, but the two old English actors do wonders with less central roles.

Having seen X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I wish there were some indication that Wolverine and Sabretooth knew each other and were in fact half-brothers. (I know Logan wouldn’t remember, but the most Sabretooth/Victor Creed does is pick up Logan’s dog tags. Also, since Sabretooth had Wolverine’s healing powers, his supposed demise shouldn’t really have killed him.)

The special effects are just good, not stupendous or awe-inspiring like other superhero films, and the writing ranges from thought-provoking to cheesy (Storm’s line upon beating Toad is one of the lamest I’ve ever heard). Joss Whedon wrote an initial script that was mostly rejected, but I think it’s notable that he was involved at the beginning of the superhero craze, as well as directing its culmination in The Avengers. X-Men offers a great ensemble, some inside jokes, and an ending wide open for more installments. Now, fourteen years later, we’re awaiting the hopefully awesome Days of Future Past so it’s only fair to give credit to the film that started it all.

Best line: (Rogue) “You know, you should wear your seat belt.” (Wolverine) “Now look, kid, I don’t need advice on auto…” (Boom—Logan’s truck crashes)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (some language and violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #244 – Sheffey

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

04 Sunday May 2014

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Flint Lockwood lives in Swallow Falls, a town built on sardines.
He spends his days pursuing praise by forging new machines.
His father doesn’t “get” what he is trying to achieve,
So Flint works solo in his lab with talking monkey Steve.
 
Sardines aren’t very tasty so he tries a new invention,
A bot debuted to conjure food (from water, I should mention).
It doesn’t work as he had hoped and flies into the sky,
But soon it’s raining cheeseburgers, which captures every eye.
 
Flint builds a new computer to connect with his device;
As orders call, he fills them all, thanks to the Mayor’s advice.
He also bonds with one Sam Sparks, a perky weather girl,
Who spreads the news of food-inspired rain around the world.
 
From pies that plummet to the plate to scoops of sherbet snow
To steaks that soar to dish or floor, Flint’s gadget doesn’t slow.
The food gets ever bigger, and, though Flint could shut it down,
He doesn’t want to wreck the recognition of his town.
 
His father still believes this food anomaly is wrong,
But Flint’s own fears are drowned by cheers till problems come along.
In front of everybody, Flint’s contraption goes berserk,
And he can’t turn it off because the Mayor is a jerk.
 
A tasty storm attacks the world, but Flint and his few friends
Fly up to stop the constant drop of meals, to make amends.
Though faced with sentient food-y foes (with logic in suspension),
Flint stops his evil gadget with another old invention.
 
Though Swallow Falls was leveled by an avalanche of food,
The people cheer when Flint draws near, to show their gratitude.
Then Flint and Sam embrace in the enthusiastic crowd,
And Flint’s impassive father indirectly says he’s proud.
__________________________
 

I don’t know whether to call Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ridiculous inspiration or inspired ridiculousness. The main concept is so simple—food raining from the sky—but the writers milk every imaginative variance on this idea such that the total film exceeds the sum of its parts. Yes, we’ve seen some of this before (the misunderstanding parent and the he’s-dead-no-wait-never-mind cliché), but the directing and writing team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller give the material the same energetically original edge that made the recent Lego Movie a much bigger success than it might have been. Where else can you hear the matter-of-fact usage of the term amuse-bouche, along with a joke questioning its meaning?

The animation is impressive, though highly cartoony at times, and the voices are well-cast, including Bill Hader as Flint Lockwood, Anna Faris as Sam Sparks, James Caan as Flint’s dad, and the incomparable Mr. T as the over-zealous policeman Earl, along with Bruce Campbell, Andy Samberg, Benjamin Bratt, and Neil Patrick Harris in supporting roles.

Yet the comedy is the star, and the jokes fly out at an incredible rate. Sometimes they are so quick that a blink will cause you to miss something; other times, it takes half the movie for a funny line to pay off. Though some of the humor is awkward and obnoxious, particularly in the character of former-baby Brent, the multitude of sight gags, food puns, and laugh-out-loud moments, along with the touching culmination of Flint’s relationship with his dad, makes Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs a film worth seeing again and again.

Best line (oh, to have to choose): (Manny, the deadpan cameraman/doctor) “You are going to need a co-pilot.”
(Sam) “You’re a pilot, too?”
(Manny) “Yes. I am also a particle physicist.”
(Sam) “Really?”
(Manny) “No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian.”

 

Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (some awkward parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #246 – Lady and the Tramp

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

03 Saturday May 2014

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Long before ol’ Wolverine
Met Professor X’s team,
Long before young Rogue and Jean
And Cyclops fought Magneto’s scheme,
There was Erik Lehnsherr.
He saw an evil man named Shaw
Shoot his mother as a test
Of his response to what he saw,
Violent, yes, but it impressed
And sparked a misadventure.
 
Psychic Charles Xavier
Grew up with Raven (soon Mystique).
Close as siblings, these two were,
Even though she was a freak,
Hiding with disguises.
Moira, with the CIA,
Is searching for a fishy clue.
She perceives, to her dismay,
Shaw and other mutants, who
Present some new surprises.
 
She and Charles then present
Mutants to the CIA,
Concerning them to some extent,
But one man gives them his okay.
Soon they’re at a base.
Apprehending Shaw and friends
Doesn’t go as they had planned,
Yet, as their encounter ends,
Erik tries to make his stand
To kill Shaw and give chase.
 
Vengeance has to wait a bit.
Charles and fierce Erik meet;
Friendship soon grows out of it
As they get back on their feet.
Soon they are recruiting.
Finding mutants left and right,
Both soon have a young, new team.
Shaw attacks one fateful night,
Claiming mutants are supreme.
There’s much death and shooting.
 
Charles’s home is where they flee
To train and exercise each gift.
Erik helps Mystique to see
Her “beauty,” which provokes a rift
Between both Charles and her.
Shaw and friends are planning, though,
To start the Cuban Missile Crisis,
Forcing an uneasy show
Of rival nuclear devices.
World war may occur.
 
Charles and his mutant team
Fly to Cuba in a jet.
All of them defeat Shaw’s scheme
By extinguishing a threat.
Shaw is soon exposed.
As the good guys fight the bad,
Flying, beaming to and fro,
Shaw taunts Erik, who is mad,
And takes vengeance on his foe.
Shaw is now deposed.
 
Erik quickly has Shaw’s minions
And attempts to prove his power.
Charles has diverse opinions
And stops Erik in his hour.
Erik brings him pain.
Charles’s legs are paralyzed,
But he founds his mutant school,
Which he knows must be disguised.
Erik, though, has plans to rule
And starts his own campaign.
_________________
 

X-Men: First Class offers a compelling look at Professor X and Magneto in their youth. The beginning and straining of their friendship are the backbone of the film, and James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Erik Lehnsherr do an excellent job as younger versions of the roles previously embodied by Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan. Other roles are either well-cast (Nicholas Hoult as Hank McCoy/Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Raven/Mystique) or pretty flat and just an excuse for cool special effects (Zoe Kravitz as Angel, January Jones as Emma Frost). Kevin Bacon is decent, though not particularly memorable, as the villain Sebastian Shaw, though his comeuppance is both gruesome and well-deserved.

One thing that somewhat bothers me is the way this film fits in with the original X-Men films and the comics. There are references to the previous movies, such as the father of Colonel William Stryker from X2 and the opening scene of young Erik in the concentration camp. Yet, now that we know that Beast and Mystique were attracted to each other and especially that Charles and Mystique grew up together, I must ask why there was no indication of this in the first three films. Plus, there’s that big eyebrow-raiser in the horrible third movie: the scene in which Patrick Stewart’s Charles is seen walking, even though his paralysis is shown to have happened here when he was young. Who knows? In addition, Alex Summer/Havoc is the younger brother of Scott Summers/Cyclops in the comics, yet the filmmakers threw him in First Class (as perhaps Scott’s father) just because they could.

As typical of X-Men films, there are lots of characters and subplots, but First Class feels somehow edgier than the previous ones. Yes, there is the angst of the more youthful characters, but there are also profanity, quite a bit of comic book violence, and many scantily clothed women, all of which were totally unnecessary. There’s even a great unexpected cameo midway through that is rather spoiled by the lone F-bomb in the film.

Overall, X-Men: First Class doesn’t hit all the right notes, but it hits the most important, namely the relationship between Professor X and Magneto. It’s an impressive beginning to the rebooted X-Men trilogy and makes me eager to see X-Men: Days of Future Past this summer.

Best line: (Hank, as Charles is testing the Cerebro headgear) “You’re sure I can’t shave your head?” (Charles) “Don’t touch my hair.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (language, sex, violence): -6
 
TOTAL: 37 out of 60
 

Next: #247 – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

© 2014 S. G. Liput

95 Followers and Counting

 

Treasure Planet (2002)

25 Friday Apr 2014

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Jim Hawkins grew up with the stars in his head
And the dread pirate Flint sailing all round his bed.
He’d dream of the treasure, while he was a kid,
Which this space pirate took to a planet and hid.
But twelve years have left, as his father did too,
And Jim’s a delinquent with little to do.
 
But that will soon change; Jim’s adventures begin
When Billy Bones enters the old Benbow Inn.
He gives Jim an orb before joining the morgue
And warns him about an impending cyborg.
The inn is attacked then and burned to the ground,
But Jim and his mom flee with what they have found.
 
Jim opens the sphere with a twist and a tap
And finds that it’s Captain Flint’s lost treasure map.
Their friend Dr. Doppler is wholly entranced,
Agreeing a voyage be quickly financed.
They’re off to the spaceport, as hastily planned,
With Captain Amelia, a cat, in command.
 
Jim then meets John Silver, the garrulous cook,
Who has more prosthetics than ol’ Captain Hook.
He’s wary at first of this cyborg-y one,
But soon they are bonding like father and son.
A close supernova makes their escape narrow
But swallows the trusty first mate, Mr. Arrow.
 
While Hawkins is hidden, he hears Silver talk
With the crew of a mutiny, which causes him shock.
As Jim tells the captain and Doppler of this,
The mutiny begins because something’s amiss.
The three journey down to the planet they’ve found,
Escaping the pirates by ramming the ground.
 
While searching for shelter, Jim meets up with B.E.N.,
A robotic castaway who shares his den.
With B.E.N.’s manic help, Jim goes back to the ship
To get back the map which he lost his first trip.
Back down on the planet, they all end up caught,
But Jim wields the map because Silver cannot.
 
The sphere leads the band to a portal of sorts,
That must have been used by Flint and his cohorts.
The right portal leads to the planet’s own core,
Where treasures abound, as recorded in lore.
They have a brief moment to revel in gold
Before a sly booby trap starts to take hold.
 
The planet begins to break up and explode,
And Silver saves Jim at the cost of his lode.
The heroes attempt to escape from the blast
But see they won’t make it when they lose the mast.
So Jim turns them round to the portal they saw
And sailing right through it, they barely withdraw.
 
It takes them back home just before certain death
And gives them a moment to re-catch their breath.
While Silver shoves off and Jim lets him retreat,
The cyborg is proud of “Jimbo’s” awesome feat.
Now that he’s done something to earn admiration,
Jim has a bright future in space navigation.
_____________________
 

Treasure Planet should have been a hit, but, despite fairly good reviews from critics, it never gained much of an audience and sadly joined a string of Disney flops that led to the canning of their traditional animation department. I don’t understand the chilly reception since the film has much going for it. It’s a futuristic telling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, with spectacular cutting-edge visuals that combined hand-drawn and CGI animation, funny and likable characters, and some truly touching scenes. It’s also Disney’s most exciting animated movie, in my opinion, and was nominated for an Oscar (unfortunately losing to Spirited Away).

The voice actors suit their characters perfectly. The roles of Captain Amelia and Dr. Doppler were written with Emma Thompson and David Hyde Pierce in mind, but Brian Murray as Silver and an up-and-coming Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jim Hawkins fill their roles equally well. Martin Short is at his most frenetic as B.E.N., the castaway who has literally lost his mind, at times making Robin Williams look like a Type B personality. The script ranges from tear jerking to hilarious, and I love a few well-timed references to Star Trek and Jaws.

With all this going for it, why then did the movie bomb? I can’t say. Roger Ebert claimed it was too “gimmicky” to futurize the classic adventure novel, but I don’t think this gimmick is any worse than, say, The Great Mouse Detective, in which Disneyreimagined a Sherlock Holmes mystery with rodents. Then again, John Musker and Ron Clements did direct both films. Hmm.

It’s true that the concept may not be as original as it at first seems. Don Bluth’s even less-successful Titan A.E. was released just two years earlier and featured a heavy mix of traditional animation and CGI and a science fiction plot involving a fatherless young rogue following a map through the stars. In addition, there was even an Italian miniseries in the 1980s entitled Treasure Island in Outer Space or Treasure Planet. I don’t know if anything in Disney’s film was drawn from that, but it’s interesting to note.

As much as I’ve defended Treasure Planet, I must admit that, compared with most of Disney’s films, it just doesn’t stick out like others do. I may just like other movies better, but Treasure Planet is nonetheless a wondrous retelling of a classic story that anyone can enjoy.

Best line: (Captain Amelia to Dr. Doppler) “Doctor, to muse and blabber about a treasure map in front of this particular crew demonstrates a level of ineptitude that borders on the imbecilic! And I mean that in a very caring way.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 5
Watchability: 8
Other (I just like other films more): -9
 
TOTAL: 36 out of 60
 

Next: #255 – Silverado

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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#260: Galaxy Quest (1999)

21 Monday Apr 2014

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When Galaxy Quest aired eighteen years ago,
A number of fans became hooked on the show.
The fandom began to progressively grow
Till it now has conventions galore.
Although this old sci-fi’s been long off the air,
Surprisingly people still watch it and care.
The actors, however, are filled with despair
That they’ve no other prospects in store.
 
The cool Jason Nesmith was known as Commander;
His Spock-like advisor was Dane, Alexander;
The hot Gwen DeMarco’s role couldn’t be blander;
The chief engineer was Fred Kwan;
The pilot was young Tommy Webber, who’s grown;
There’s also a redshirt named Guy, who’s unknown
But won’t leave the more famous main cast alone.
Their friendship is pretty much gone.
 
They show up wherever they might be employed.
Jason loves the spotlight, which he doesn’t avoid
Till the others, especially Dane, are annoyed.
But Galaxy Quest is their life.
One day, Jason’s met by the Thermian race,
Who look kinda normal but live up in space.
They say they have need of this space-faring ace
To somehow protect them from strife.
 
Not knowing these Thermians really are real,
He treats their foe Sarris as not a big deal.
His trip back to Earth through the stars makes him feel
That maybe they did speak the truth.
In shock, Jason tells all his “friends” of his task
And takes them all back when the Thermians ask.
They blanch when they see their hosts lacking a mask
And their ruthless foe lacking a ruth.
 
The Thermians picked up the show’s syndication
And thought it historical documentation.
It helped to inspire their civilization
And made them rebuild what they could.
Believing the actors are those on the show,
The Thermians’ knowledge of fiction is slow.
So Jason and friends cannot really say no
And do as their characters would.
 
Their encounter with Sarris goes badly, I fear,
And leaves their ship crippled, but one planet’s near
And might have a brand new beryllium sphere
To power their ship once again.
While Guy is in terror that somehow he’ll die,
They go down and bring back a sphere, or they try.
Though aliens threaten them all, they get by
Till they’re boarded by Sarris’s men.
 
Once Sarris has Jason admit that they lied,
He orders that they get some space – but outside!
They free themselves, yelling about Jason’s pride,
And save all their Thermian pals.
The credit is Jason’s, while Dane has a dearth,
But Jason gets help from some nerds back on Earth,
Who prove that their watching the show does have worth,
Improving their flagging morales.
 
As each actor starts to grow into their role,
The starship Protector’s back in their control.
They blast the foe’s ship and fly through a black hole
On their journey back home, having won.
But Sarris survived (well, that’s quite unforeseen)
And shoots everyone except Guy that’s on-screen.
So Jason turns on the Omega 13,
Which lets him undo what’s been done.
 
They fly down to Earth (with fans’ help, did I mention?),
And draw some applause and excited attention
By crashing a Galaxy Quest fan convention,
And Jason starts sharing the praise.
The show soon reboots, and there’s even a place
For a Thermian Fred fell in love with in space,
And Guy too, who has a last name just in case.
They’re now out of sci-fi clichés.
______________________
 

Many Star Trek fans were wary of Galaxy Quest when it was first released since it seemed like a potential excuse to mock Trekkies left and right. Yet the film manages to miraculously pay homage to the show that so many love (my family and me included), while also poking fun at its themes and fandom and earned praise from several Star Trek actors. Yes, it shows “Questerians” as often chubby geeks who obsess about the show and don’t get out much, but their love of the show isn’t just a cheap joke but an integral part of the plot by the end. The fans save the day, and anyone who is part of a fandom can appreciate that ingenious idea.

The actors are obvious parodies of the cast members of the original Star Trek series. Tim Allen has Shatner’s cocky bravado down pat, and Alan Rickman is a clear counterpart to Nimoy’s Mr. Spock, bemoaning the way he’s been typecast with that undying line “By Grabthar’s hammer, you shall be avenged!” Not as easily reused as “Live long and prosper,” but it’s not bad. Sigourney Weaver as Gwen DeMarco as Tawny Madison is more Janice Rand than Lieutenant Uhura, and Daryl Mitchell is akin to Next Gen’s Wesley Crusher, the stereotypical whiz kid aboard. The funniest of the group are Tony Shalhoub as Fred Kwan, who seems strangely distant, perhaps stoned, as all this weirdness washes over him, and Sam Rockwell as Guy, who constantly worries he’s the expendable redshirt. Each actor so embodies their character embodying their role on Galaxy Quest that I would have liked to see an actual spinoff, perhaps tying into the Star Trek universe. All Trekkers know there are countless different universes out there, after all.

The special effects are actually pretty impressive, the villain Sarris is extremely – uh – villainous, and the Thermians are hilarious, especially Enrico Colantoni as Mathesar, whose erratic laughter ranges from gasps to gagging noises. It even ekes out some moments of pathos, such as Jason’s confession to Mathesar and Dane’s finally getting over his self-inflicted ignominy for the sake of a fallen comrade. Except for an early profanity, the film is also pretty kid-friendly, though in one scene it looks like Sigourney Weaver said the F-bomb, which was dubbed over with a milder word. There are also a few mildly violent and gross parts that may warrant caution for young viewers, but overall Galaxy Quest is a great sci-fi parody that may not be as laugh-out-loud funny as, say, Spaceballs, but it’s a must for both Star Trek fans and anyone who’s ever known someone who’s thought of watching Star Trek.

Best line: (Gwen, after seeing some cannibalistic aliens and thinking that Guy is the only disposable one) “Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy.”

VC’s best line: (convention announcer, introducing Rickman’s Alexander Dane) “Give him a hand; he’s British.”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (brief language and violence): -5
 
TOTAL: 36 out of 60
 

Next: #259 – Spy Kids

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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#270: Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

11 Friday Apr 2014

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In 1914, Milo Thatch
Has got a hare-brained scheme to hatch,
A trip to find an ancient book
To reach Atlantis, but the hook
Is none will pay him to dispatch
A team to reach this awesome catch.
 
But, led by one Helga Sinclair,
Thatch meets a quirky millionaire,
Who lost a very costly bet
To his granddad. To pay the debt,
He’s funded Milo’s whole affair
To find Atlantis deep somewhere.
 
Aboard the great sub (quite a feat),
The linguist has a chance to meet
Commander Rourke, who heads the mission;
Vinny, who likes demolition;
Mole, a burrower; and Sweet,
The kindly doctor for the fleet.
 
Deep underwater, soon they find
A monster that comes from behind.
This huge Leviathan attacks;
The sub is wrecked, but they make tracks
And reach a cave that is designed
To reach Atlantis, once it’s mined.
 
Once more is said of those with names,
Strange fireflies burst into flames.
The fire spreads; to flee from it,
They find an old volcano’s pit.
From there, within a couple frames,
They reach the truth of Milo’s claims.
 
They’re welcomed to Atlantis by
The Princess Kida, who’s not shy.
Impressed at what Milo can read,
She takes him to a sunken screed
That notes a crystal power supply,
But Rourke butts in as our bad guy.
 
He and the crew start acting rash;
They’ll sell the crystal just for cash.
Once Rourke has hurt Atlantis’ king,
He still locates that crystal thing.
It bonds with Kida in a flash,
And giant stones fall with a splash.
 
They pack up Kida to depart,
But Milo’s pleas to have a heart
Create misgivings in the many;
Rourke and Sinclair haven’t any.
Before the city falls apart,
They must bring Kida back, to start.
 
Thatch leads a team of those who stayed
On flying fish ships, unafraid.
They battle Rourke, who’ll get out soon
If he escapes in his balloon.
When Thatch flies in to Kida’s aid,
Rourke’s killed by his propeller blade.
 
That same volcano starts to wake,
So all our heroes make a break.
When Kida’s back, she forms a shield,
And soon the lava has congealed.
The crystal, which can give and take,
Lets Kida go for Milo’s sake.
 
Though most died in this enterprise,
We still have all the named good guys.
While Milo stays, his friends return,
Concealing what their group did learn.
The crystal on which life relies
Now floats above Atlantis’ skies.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________
 

Atlantis: The Lost Empire is an outlier among Disney movies. It has no princesses, no musical numbers, and no cute and funny animal sidekicks. Mole doesn’t count. It also has a different kind of animation, more angular and intentionally reminiscent of old pulp magazine tales. While there’s much humor throughout, Atlantis is more mature than most Disney films, with hundreds of people dying, albeit off-screen. This large number of redshirts makes it almost funny that only the good characters with names end up living.

The characters are actually what attracted the most criticism when Atlantis was released. The film is like Indiana Jones crossed with a caper film, and the latter’s habit of collecting a team of uniquely skilled individuals for the mission is well utilized. While I personally like all the characters, it’s true that most of their backstories, if any, are glossed over so quickly that any development is relegated to humorous character moments, like Cookie’s grease-based cooking or Dr. Sweet’s chiropractic assistance for Milo’s neck. The voice acting, though, is spot-on, with Michael J. Fox as Milo, James Garner as Rourke, Don Novello (“Fr. Guido Sarducci”) as Vinny, Phil Morris as Sweet (Disney’s first animated African American character), and Corey Burton as Mole being the stand-outs.

Watching it again, I was reminded of other films, particularly Prometheus. The scene in which Milo gives a presentation about their mission’s goal to the unimpressed crew, which was commissioned by an eccentric millionaire, is suspiciously similar to the same scene in the much later Ridley Scott film. As for the action scenes, they are extremely well-done, if implausible at times, and critic Roger Ebert wrote that the finale “stands by itself as one of the great animated action sequences.”

The main issue for me is the whole “explanation” for Atlantis itself. The advanced power source Milo seeks turns out to be a sentient New Age-y crystal thing that protected Atlantis against the flood, which its misuse supposedly caused. Using this New Age crystal as the film’s MacGuffin is just not as successful as, say, the Biblical ones of the first and third Indiana Jones movies.

There are many unanswered questions. Where did it come from? If it’s sentient, why would it allow itself to be misused so terribly? Why did it give Kida back but not her mother? On top of these questions, there are others. The crystal was under Atlantis, which was underground, so what provided daylight? Even if Atlantean was the root of every language, how could they speak perfect English, having not been exposed to its modern development? If Atlantis sank 10,000 years ago, how did Plato know about it?

Despite these problems, Atlantis: The Lost Empire was an entertaining new direction for Disney that sadly didn’t deliver as executives had hoped. It remains a cult classic and a worthy addition to my list.

Best line: (Packard, over the intercom, like something from MASH) “Attention: Tonight’s supper will be baked beans. Musical program to follow.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (New Age themes) -8
 
TOTAL: 34 out of 60
 

Next: #269 – The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Innerspace (1987)

03 Thursday Apr 2014

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Lieutenant Tuck Pendleton has a new mission:
To go on a small rabbit-themed expedition.
A skilled team of scientists miniaturizes
Both Tuck and a sub to the smallest of sizes.
 
Before they can put him in their bunny’s body,
A break-in confirms that security’s shoddy.
A doc carries Pendleton in a syringe
And flees Mr. Igoe, who makes people cringe.
 
When shot, the doc puts Tuck inside one Jack Putter,
A hypochondriacal, worrying nutter.
When Tuck contacts Jack through his eyes and his ears,
It fills Jack with all kinds of overwrought fears.
 
Escaping from Igoe, Jack follows Tuck’s lead,
In hopes that the government’s help will succeed.
But they overhear that Tuck’s air will run out
If they don’t get a chip that was stolen, no doubt.
 
They then visit Lydia, Tuck’s ex-girlfriend,
A reporter with key information to lend.
They choose to not say the location of Tuck,
But Igoe shows up, throwing Jack in a truck.
 
Jack meets Mr. Scrimshaw, who gives him a pitch
On shrinking technology making him rich.
The moving truck’s back door is somewhat ajar
So Jack swings away into Lydia’s car.
 
They find and tie up Scrimshaw’s tech-selling goon,
The Cowboy, who they learn will meet his boss soon.
To make sure their rendezvous still will take place,
Tuck somehow gives Jack the suave Cowboy’s own face.
 
The next morning, Scrimshaw almost gives the chip,
But Jack’s face reverts when he can’t get a grip.
Then Scrimshaw shrinks Igoe to launch an attack
On Tuck’s tiny sub once he joins him in Jack.
 
When Putter and Lydia fight through a man,
They shrink all the bad guys because…well, they can.
While they try to deal with a miniature foe,
Tuck’s being assaulted by Mr. Igoe.
 
With air running very low, Tuck’s almost bested,
But drops to the stomach, where Igoe’s digested.
They all hurry back to the lab with the chips
And re-enlarge Tuck and his smallest of ships.
 
With everyone safe, Tuck and Lydia marry,
And yet there’s still danger to which they’re unwary.
So Jack follows them to save each newlywed,
Not scared anymore to drive full speed ahead.
_______________________
 

Innerspace is a comedy, sci-fi, action, adventure, romance, and bizarre buddy movie all rolled into one. Joe Dante’s films are known for being quirky, to say the least, but Innerspace remains one of his most straightforwardly entertaining movies and the only one to win an Academy Award (for best Visual Effects). Dennis Quaid with his triangular grin has all his usual 1980s charisma, but it is Martin Short that steals the show as the neurotic Jack Putter. His comedic input is what makes Innerspace better than other Dennis Quaid sci-fi films like Dreamscape or Enemy Mine.

Meg Ryan’s Lydia also has some good scenes, as does Robert Picardo as the Cowboy. As a fan of Star Trek: Voyager, I get a real kick out of seeing the holographic Doctor (a much more stolid role for Picardo) smoking Cuban cigars, speaking in a foreign accent, and letting loose on the dance floor. (Nerdy trivia note: Though they didn’t really have a scene together here, Picardo and Wendy Schaal, who played Jack’s co-worker, were a couple on the Voyager episode “Real Life.” I at least thought that was cool.)

The special effects are quite well done and blow away anything from the old Fantastic Voyage. While the convoluted plot makes sense for the most part, there are a few continuity issues. Spoiler Alert (I know the whole poem is a spoiler, but I didn’t mention this): When Tuck enters Lydia’s body through a kiss with Jack, he winds up somehow in her womb to see his own child growing there; he later returns to the mouth at just the proper time for another kiss to return him to Jack. I may not know a lot about anatomy, but I don’t think the mouth and the uterus are that close to each other. Was he just wandering around aimlessly in the space between spaces? Why is Tuck’s sub the size of a fat cell at the beginning but later “large” enough to be picked up with tweezers?

Despite these minor issues and some thankfully restrained language, Innerspace is a joy ride through the human body. Tuck’s and Jack’s different perspectives on the things each of them do are priceless, and the end leaves open the possibility of a sequel that never materialized. Still, Dante and Spielberg gave us some great laughs and thrills in Innerspace.

Best line: (Tuck, speaking to Jack in his ear) “I’m right here, inside you, inside your body!” (Jack, standing up) “Oh, God! Somebody help me! I’M POSSESSED!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 4
Watchability: 8
Other (frequent language and innuendo): -5
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #277 – The Jungle Book

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

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A grown John Connor roams around,
Still fearing Judgment Day,
The deaths of billions by machines
He thought he’d kept away.
 
But soon a female Terminator
Travels back through time
To kill still young resistance members
Ere they reach their prime.
 
This T-X hunts for Katherine Brewster,
A lovely local vet,
Who’s caged the drug-addicted John
Because he was a threat.
 
Meanwhile, another Terminator,
Like the one John knew,
Arrives just in the nick of time
To save her right on cue.
 
He locks up Katherine, then saves John,
Who flees with her inside.
The T-X shoots her counterpart
And steals a massive ride.
 
An epic chase ensues, which leaves
A trail of vast destruction.
The good cyborg slows down the bad,
Then gives his introduction.
 
He tells John he has been sent back
To guard Katherine, of course,
But John is now in danger from
A much more deadly force.
 
They try to tell the girl the truth,
But she is none too pleased.
They drive to Sarah Connor’s grave,
With Katherine feeling seized.
 
They pick up weapons just in time
For cops to cause delay.
And Katherine’s met by that T-X,
Who’s killed her fiancé.
 
The good cyborg saves them again
And tells what will occur.
He killed John in the future
And was reprogrammed by her.
 
For Katherine will be Connor’s wife
And second-in-command.
As Judgment Day looms very close,
She gives him a command.
 
They go where Katherine’s father works.
He’s just released Skynet.
The T-X comes to shoot him down
So he can’t stop the threat.
 
The good and villainous machines
Face off, and she prevails.
She tries to turn him bad as well
But ultimately fails.
 
Katherine and John are told to fly
To distant Crystal Peak,
Where they believe they’ll find the way
To stop this that they seek.
 
The T-X follows them again,
But their ally arrives
To mow her down and blow her up,
And neither one survives.
 
They think that they’ve found Skynet’s core
To blow it up as well,
But Crystal Peak’s a bunker that
Will shield them for a spell.
 
They realize Judgment Day could not
Be stopped; it never could.
They simply had to live through it
And fight for what is good.
____________________
 

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines seemed like an unnecessary add-on when it first came out. The filmmakers could have left well enough alone after the huge success of T2, but they had to keep milking this franchise for all it was worth, with or without James Cameron. Yet T3 is one of those sequels that is surprisingly good once you give it a try. It follows the second film’s precedent, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as a reprogrammed Terminator to save John Connor once again from a more advanced cyborg. While this plotline is familiar, the filmmakers take it in some unexpected directions with well-spaced revelations throughout the movie.

Kristanna Loken is appropriately laconic and lethal as the T-X, as is Ahh-nold, who gets some great one-liners and self-referential moments along the way. The main drawback for the second film was the human protagonists. Sarah Connor had gone nuts and her son was quite frankly a punk, but in T3, Nick Stahl fills the role of John nicely, even if he’s now a haunted drug addict on the run, and Claire Danes as Kate is my favorite of the new cast. Since no one in the film’s universe has seen the Terminator films, her reactions are priceless, from her initial shock and anger to her transformation into a robot-slaying Rambina. Her relationship with John isn’t really developed into a romance, but it’s at least set in motion with a clearly defined end.

The action and effects are outstanding, with the epic central chase being one of the best and most destructive car chases ever. The clever ways that Ahh-nold gets rid of the T-X and the myriad of explosions make it an excellent popcorn blockbuster.

Of course, there’s a good amount of unnecessary language and violence, especially when the T-X suddenly jams its arm through someone’s chest to drive a car from the back seat (bleh). The movie has its worst stumble, though, at the very end. While the first Terminator ended with tension and a looming threat and the second film had somewhat of a happy bittersweet climax, this film’s final scenes are just plain depressing. Almost the entire world is nuked by Skynet, and now the characters have nothing to look forward to except a long, painful war, plus John’s foretold demise. It’s an okay setup for another sequel (Terminator: Salvation, which I have not yet seen), but, by itself, it’s a weak end to an otherwise awesome action flick.

Best line: (John, after Kate zealously shoots down a drone) “You remind me of my mother.”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (language, violence, and poor ending): -8
 
TOTAL: 32 out of 60
 

Next: #286: Crocodile Dundee

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Iron Giant (1999)

17 Monday Mar 2014

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When Sputnik orbits Earth, October 1957,
There’s a giant metal visitor that plummets from the heavens.
When it scares a screwy fisherman, the man warns Rockwell, Maine,
An alien’s invaded, but they think he’s gone insane.
 
But Hogarth Hughes, a spunky lad whose mother’s working late,
Goes out that night and finds the giant in a sorry state.
Young Hogarth saves him from the wires of a power station,
And soon he finds he’s earned the giant’s love and admiration.
 
Once Hogarth brings him home so he won’t wander through the wood,
He teaches him of Superman and how he should be good.
Meanwhile, one Kent Mansley, who is with the government,
Suspects that something big’s around, which he must now prevent.
 
He tracks the robot to the house of Hogarth and his mom
And even rents a room there. Hogarth’s disgruntled but calm.
The giant must eat metal from the junkyard’s Dean McCoppin,
Who’s quite dismayed when Hogarth and his giant robot drop in.
 
While Mansley lets his paranoia fuel his panicked search,
He finds a photo Hogarth took that leaves them in a lurch.
Kent gets the Army there at once, but Hogarth is too smart.
Both he and Dean disguise the giant as some junkyard art.
 
When Mansley’s shamed, Hogarth then plays and aims his small toy gun;
This makes the giant shoot a beam that’s more deadly than fun.
The giant flees and soon is being shot by Army tanks.
He tries to save his human boy but crashes in snow banks.
 
When he’s afraid that Hogarth’s dead, the giant goes berserk.
It goes into attacking mode; man’s weapons will not work.
But Hogarth lives and tells his friend he has the right to choose
To not destroy; the giant heeds the tiny Hogarth Hughes.
 
But Mansley still is paranoid and orders down a nuke,
And yet the bomb will kill them all; he earns a harsh rebuke.
The giant flies into the bomb as all the people tremble.
Though Hogarth’s sad to see him go, he may yet reassemble.
____________________________
 

The Iron Giant is a science fiction animated film that also works well as a period piece, presenting the paranoia and fear of the Cold War era in a way kids can understand. Honestly, most of those details flew over my head when I first saw it because I was too busy watching the awesome giant robot that every young boy would love to have. The giant is surprisingly likable as a character, and his climactic sacrifice and survival are actually quite affecting.

The film’s storyline shares many aspects with Spielberg’s E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial: boy finds alien creature, befriends and hides said creature from parent, government comes looking for it, and creature dies but doesn’t. Yet, while E.T. was basically helpless and at the mercy of overly curious scientists, the iron giant is a fifty-foot-tall menace that the Army assumes is there to level towns and such. This policy of shoot-first-ask-questions-later is irritating but understandable, considering the era involved, with the Russians having just beaten the U.S. to space with Sputnik.

While the animation is not nearly Disney quality, it is serviceable to the story and doesn’t detract much from it since the plot and characters are more important. The CGI giant is mixed nicely with the hand-drawn people and backgrounds, but my VC found the animation distracting. There’s also some very funny parts, such as Hogarth’s reaction to coffee; this helps to make the film more kid-friendly since it does tackle some more adult concepts. After all, a child is interrogated and drugged by a government agent, and the threat of a nuclear holocaust is made very real in the finale. (Wouldn’t there be some effects from an atomic bomb exploding in the atmosphere, though?) Plus, some repeated minor language and crudity earned The Iron Giant a PG rating, which my mom was wary of when it first came out.

It doesn’t have the magic of E.T., and I don’t appreciate the oft-repeated falsity that “guns kill” (people do), but it’s an enjoyable romp, intentionally reminiscent of 1950s alien films, with endearing characters and a great lesson of choosing one’s own purpose.

Best line: (Mansley, as Hogarth is grunting in the bathroom trying to hide the giant’s separated hand) “You know, this sort of thing is why it’s important to always chew your food.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (mild language and anti-gun message): -4
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #294: Apollo 13

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Day after Tomorrow (2004)

16 Sunday Mar 2014

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Antarctic ice begins to crack;
A climate expert takes some flak
For saying global warming may
Cause worldwide tragedy one day.
 
But this Jack Hall is proven right;
Disasters happen overnight.
The temperature begins to drop
Around the world and doesn’t stop.
 
In New York City, Sam, Jack’s son,
Observes strange weather has begun.
It’s raining there for days on end,
And even worse events portend.
 
Japan is struck by giant hail;
Tornados in L.A. assail.
New York is flooded by a wave
That makes the streets a massive grave.
 
While Sam takes shelter with his pals,
More weather strikes diverse locales.
Jack sees three hurricane-like ice storms
Will rage till Earth’s climate transforms.
 
A freeze descends on New York, so
Survivors flee across the snow,
But Sam and company decide
The library is where they’ll hide.
 
Jack leaves with friends to find his son,
Despite his warning everyone.
Meanwhile, Sam’s almost on a date
As he grows close to one classmate.
 
When Laura needs some medicine,
Sam knows a ship that’s floated in.
He faces wolves (we need a villain)
To bring her back some penicillin.
 
They’re threatened by an instant freeze
And get in as they lose degrees.
They burn the books to keep them warm,
While Jack takes shelter from the storm.
 
At last, Sam’s rescued by his dad,
Who is relieved to find the lad.
Now that the storms no longer rage,
We must survive this new ice age.
_____________________
 

I think that any viewer, whether they believe in global warming or not, can agree that The Day after Tomorrow is shameless environmental propaganda that offers a sensationalist scientific explanation that even global warming proponents have decried as faulty science. Climatologists have stated, even in the film itself, that the cataclysmic events that occur would happen over hundreds of years, not days, if they happened at all. Still, as a special effects extravaganza, it’s just as impressive as director Roland Emmerich’s other film Independence Day. It borrows many aspects of this earlier film, including an initial destruction of aircraft (this time with ice rather than fire) and the death of a First Family member (this time the President himself rather than the First Lady).

Unlike Independence Day, though, The Day after Tomorrow has a much more serious and realistic tone, despite its unrealistic premise. There’s plenty of humor too but none of the campy stylings of the earlier alien invasion film. The film’s main draw is its sequences of impressive destruction: tornados ripping through downtown Los Angeles, a huge wall of water flowing around New York’s skyscrapers, etc. Some of these scenes have attained semi-iconic status, like the obliteration of the White House in Independence Day. If one ignores the half-baked climate change explanation and just takes the upheaval at face value, it’s actually a very entertaining film.

While Sam’s revelation of his attraction to Laura seems rather out of place and overly personal amid the worldwide disasters, I actually think the scenes featuring Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, and the others in the library are the most engaging parts. It’s always fun to see various absurd calamities happen to fictional people, but it’s even more interesting to follow the characters as they survive the aftermath. This survival aspect is something Independence Day didn’t have and something that has been highlighted in other such films, like The Impossible and Gravity.

The beginning and the very end are the main stumbling blocks, where the global warming message is proclaimed too loud and clear for my taste. After all, they seem to blame the Vice President, when his reaction to the one scientist’s claims is rather understandable; even if he had listened and cut down fuel emissions and whatnot, the disaster came fast and furious and couldn’t really have been averted by him. There are also some moments of utter stupidity, like when someone takes their gloves off in freezing weather to support a friend’s weight on broken glass! Yet, ignoring the environmental evangelism, The Day after Tomorrow is a feast for the eyes, at times more thrilling than Independence Day, and with an appreciated lack of objectionable content.

Best line: (Brian, as two other survivors argue over burning Nietzsche’s works) “Uh… ‘scuse me? You guys? Yeah… there’s a whole section on tax law down here that we can burn.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (brief language and silly concept): -4
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #295: The Iron Giant

© 2014 S. G. Liput