Tag Archives: Sci-fi

Castle in the Sky (1986)

16 Wednesday Jul 2014

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Air pirates board an airship and threaten many lives.
A girl climbs out the window and hopes that she survives.
As pirates try to grab her, she slips and falls to earth,
But she’s saved by her crystal, which has a hidden worth.
 
It floats her down to safety, where Pazu’s arms await,
An engineer’s apprentice, who wonders of her fate.
He takes her to his cottage, and when Sheeta awakes,
He tells her how she floated, the crystal as her brakes.
 
He tells her of his father, who saw a floating isle
Called Laputa, a legend he’ll find in daring style.
But Dola and her pirates arrive to claim the lass,
And they both flee as pirates continue to harass.
 
The military shows up, but Sheeta’s scared of them.
Our heroes float to safety, suspended by her gem.
Once they speak with a miner, who warns them of the same,
The girl reveals that “Laputa” is part of her full name.
 
The government abducts them, imprisoning the pair,
And Colonel Muska spells out to Sheeta why she’s there.
He shows an ancient robot, advanced technology
That Laputa holds somewhere, which she will help them free.
 
When Pazu is sent back home, he teams with Dola’s gang
To rescue Sheeta, but she is having quite a bang.
She reawakes the robot, which goes on a rampage,
And Pazu saves her just in time as giant guns engage.
 
To find the floating island, they join the pirate crew,
For Dola and her pirates are nicer than they knew.
Since Muska took her crystal, he’s on his way as well,
And both airships are threatened by storms that crash and swell.
 
Pazu and Sheeta land on a peaceful grassy plot,
Just one of many turrets that Laputa has got.
They tail a lonely robot, discovering in awe
The lofty, ancient ruins that once were Laputa.
 
But then the military arrives to plunder loot,
Though Muska’s digging deeper for things of great repute.
The agent kidnaps Sheeta, descending to the core,
And taps the castle’s power which he was looking for.
 
He names himself a royal, like Sheeta, and a king,
And massacres the army as robot hordes take wing.
As Pazu hunts for Sheeta, she with her crystal flees.
Again they find each other, but Muska’s hard to please.
 
When they are at a standoff, the kids know what to say,
A spell of great destruction, which serves to save the day.
The pirates and the children escape and reunite,
But both Pazu and Sheeta fly off within their kite.
___________________
 

When Cartoon Network decided to play several Studio Ghibli films back in 2006, I steered clear of it due to my family’s poor reaction to Spirited Away, but I recall seeing a commercial that included a scene of giant robots climbing through hallways. I had no idea from which film it was, but the scene stuck in my head. When I eventually gave anime another chance and saw Castle in the Sky, I was delighted that I not only recognized that scene but also loved the movie. Castle in the Sky is the highest movie on my list directed by famed animator Hayao Miyazaki (though not necessarily the highest Studio Ghibli film), and it is a rousing adventure that showcases Miyazaki’s brilliant imagination.

Since Studio Ghibli had not been founded by the time of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, Castle in the Sky was the studio’s first official film, one that I think is much better than the more well-known Spirited Away. The hand-drawn animation is often beautiful, and certain scenes, like the impressive destruction at the end, are even spectacular. Set in a Welsh-inspired world of flying machines and steampunk inventions, the film (inspired by the floating island of Laputa in Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels) is reminiscent of an Indiana Jones story with its crystalline MacGuffin and a race between pirates and the government to find an ancient civilization of power. Though Muska is a more straightforward villain than others in his filmography, it also bears Miyazaki’s recognizable fingerprints, such as his favoring of nature over technology and his love of flight. It even includes a cameo for the squirrel-fox from Nausicaä.

In the Disney dub, James Van Der Beek and Anna Paquin are likable as Pazu and Sheeta, respectively, though Paquin’s accent fluctuates a bit. Cloris Leachman sounds like she’s having fun as the no-nonsense pirate matron Dola, and Mark Hamill lapses into his famous Joker voice as the villainous Muska. My favorite thing about the film, though, is its score. Joe Hisaishi exceeded even Nausicaä’s score with his glorious orchestral compositions. Thus, the final Japanese song “Carrying You,” which borrows the film’s best theme, is in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Castle in the Sky is a classic of Japanese animation that has wide appeal to Western audiences. Even my anime-despising VC had to admit that it was “pretty good.”

Best line: (Louis, a pirate) “Mom, you amaze me. How do ya know these things?”   (Dola, while eating) “Oh, well, ya can’t be a sensitive woman like me without learnin’ a few things. Sheeta and I are exactly alike: all warm and mushy and sensitive!” [burps]

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (I like other films more): -3
 
TOTAL: 45 out of 60
 

Next: #176 – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

© 2014 S. G. Liput

157 Followers and Counting

 

Spaceballs (1987)

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

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When Planet Spaceball needs some air,
Its leader Skroob intends to dare
To steal it from the Druids’ planet.
It can’t get more absurd, now can it?
Wait, it can, a Druish bride
Named Princess Vespa can’t abide
Her sleepy groom; she’s unafraid
To leave with Dot Matrix, her maid.
 
Her father calls the rogue Lone Starr,
To save her (and her nice space-car)
From Dark Helmet and Spaceball One,
A ship that they cannot outrun.
Lone Starr, along with friendly mutt,
Is in debt to Pizza the Hutt,
So for a price, Lone Starr agrees
And rescues her, which sparks unease.
 
When Dark Helmet goes way too fast,
He goes to plaid and whizzes past.
But Lone Starr’s gas runs out too soon,
And they crash on a desert moon.
Though bride and rogue despised each other,
They start to flirt till Dot plays mother.
They meet old Yogurt, who purports
To know the power of the Schwartz.
 
He shares with Lone Starr much advice,
Such as his plans for merchandise.
With help from Spaceballs’ VHS,
Dark Helmet searches with success.
He kidnaps Vespa, using her
To force her daddy to defer
And give his world’s defensive code
To save the nose job he’d bestowed.
 
Then Spaceball One (to serve the plot)
Transforms into a maid. Why not?
The Druids lack time to prepare
As those Spaceballs suck up their air,
But Lone Starr rescues Vespa’s head
And makes the sucker blow instead.
He journeys through the Mega Maid
And finds the self-destruct (clichéd).
 
He fights Dark Helmet comically,
But wins and then is quick to flee.
The maid explodes (well, most of it),
And Vespa’s back to wed a twit.
But after dinner and a show,
Lone Starr is told he’s royal so
He interrupts to wed the bride,
And they fly off in his sweet ride.
_________________
 

One of the best parody films ever, Spaceballs was Mel Brooks’ response to Star Wars, Alien, Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, The Wizard of Oz, the 1986 animated Transformers: The Movie, and any other science fiction film you can think of. Almost every line of dialogue is a joke, and almost every one is funny. Add that to some hilarious cameos, such as Mel Brooks himself as Skroob and the noise-production guru Michael Winslow (who reportedly saved Brooks money on sound effects), and you’ve got a cult classic in the making.

The acting isn’t the best, nor are the visual effects, but I bet that was intentional to heighten the humor. Bill Pullman came to prominence through his starring role as Lone Starr (he wasn’t even promoted on the film poster), and other roles are hilariously filled by John Candy, Daphne Zuniga, Joan Rivers, Dick Van Patten, and the ever-funny Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet. The funniest scene in the whole movie for me is the Alien spoof near the end, which is made more amusing by the presence of John Hurt, who had previously been involved with Brooks in History of the World, Part I and The Elephant Man.

The main reason Spaceballs isn’t higher on the list is its frequent language and crudities. From phallic jokes to insults used as names, these gags are funny in some ways, but they detract from the film’s appeal. Kids probably wouldn’t even get most of the clever references to other films, but Brooks ensured that it wasn’t appropriate for them in the first place.

Still, barring the double entendres, Spaceballs is a must-see for science fiction fans, especially those of Star Wars. There are too many sight gags, puns, and fun antics to spoil them all, and I don’t want to try. I dare you not to laugh.

Best line: (Dark Helmet) “Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.”
(Lone Starr) “What?”
(Dark Helmet) “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”
(Lone Starr) “What’s that make us?”
(Dark Helmet) “Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.”

 

Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 10
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 10
Other (language and crude jokes): -4
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #184 – The Ultimate Gift

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Gravity (2013)

28 Saturday Jun 2014

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Three astronauts are conversing in space
As they work on the space telescope,
Till one gets a piece of debris through his face,
And the others are left without hope.
 
A medical engineer named Ryan Stone
Is sent whirling out in the void,
But Matthew Kowalski, with comforting tone,
Gets her to their shuttle (destroyed).
 
That onslaught of wreckage, an old satellite
That the Russians were unwise to blow,
Will orbit around and have them in its sight
In the next ninety minutes or so.
 
Matt calms her and tells her they’ll carefully soar
To the space station off in the distance.
Stone tells of her daughter, who died at just four,
And Matt tries to spur her persistence.
 
They make it, but Matt makes a bold sacrifice
And goes drifting away into space
To let Stone get aboard, though he gives her advice,
While she finds a way into the base.
 
As she floats through the halls, a fire breaks out,
And she narrowly gets to a pod,
A Soyuz spacecraft, which she’s happy about,
Till its chute won’t allow her abroad.
 
She tries to get loose but is hit by debris,
And she barely escapes that as well.
It shatters the station and sets the ship free,
But she’s out of fuel, she can tell.
 
She attempts giving up, but is spurred to survive
By Kowalski, or rather his ghost,
So she figures a way to (just barely) arrive
At a plummeting Chinese outpost.
 
She gets in the Shenzhou space capsule to land,
Determined to live or die trying,
She says that the ride down will truly be grand
And can’t avoid laughing and crying.
 
She tells Matt to visit in heaven her daughter,
And burns through the earth’s atmosphere.
She finally lands (just by chance?) in some water,
Thus ending her spaceflight career.
 
Her module and suit nearly cause her to drown,
But she swims to the pond’s muddy banks,
And, feeling Earth’s gravity weighing her down,
She walks off, relieved, giving thanks.
____________________
 

Gravity was the most eye-catching film of 2013 and with good reason. It is pure spectacle, full of long, continuous scenes designed to make the audience say, “How did they do that?” From the quietly tense devastation caused by the zooming debris to the seemingly simple weightlessness of the characters and everything else, Gravity is a wonder to behold.

At the heart of the Oscar-winning visual effects are the two leads, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Both are excellent, but I actually preferred Clooney’s performance. Bullock is certainly the star, but other actresses could have done just as well (Halle Berry, Cate Blanchett, or Julia Roberts, for example). Clooney’s smooth, reassuring voice gave his character much more personality, and I thought he was just as worthy of an Oscar nomination as Bullock.

Though it’s less than a year old, Gravity has already begun to earn a reputation as overrated, full of impressive special effects and little else. I agree to some extent, but it does offer more than just visuals. Ryan’s backstory is quite touching and emotional, as is her wish for someone to pray for her since she was never taught how.

In addition, films like Avatar and the Transformers movies were visual feasts for the eyes but were so long as to be overindulgent. Gravity is comparably short at just 91 minutes, and Oscar-winning director Alfonso Cuarón achieved much more artistry in that time than any of those films combined. The scene of Ryan floating as if in the womb and that of her rising from the water in the evolution-inspired finale (with a welcome “Thank you” sent heavenward) are two beautiful sequences that wouldn’t be found in other effects extravaganzas. The immersive, Oscar-winning score does much to build tension and emotion, especially paired with well-timed cuts to spatial silence.

My VC felt there was too much of Bullock just breathing hard, as well as annoying alarms going off, but I prefer these to the vast stretches of nothing in the similarly artistic but nowhere-near-as-entertaining 2001: A Space Odyssey. While there are similarities to other space disaster films like Marooned, WALL-E (hello, fire extinguisher!) and Apollo 13 (especially since Ed Harris played “Houston” here as well), Gravity is a film like no other, presenting seamless visuals sure to blow you away.

Best line: (Ryan Stone, in a massive understatement) “I hate space.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual effects: 10
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (language and brief violence): -4
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #194 – Hoosiers

© 2014 S. G. Liput

144 Followers and Counting

 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)

21 Saturday Jun 2014

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Nausicaä, the princess of the Valley of the Wind,
Explores the toxic jungle that is spreading o’er the earth.
The girl admires Ohmu, colossal insects, armor-skinned,
Who can be quite aggressive but do have a hidden worth.
 
She saves her friend Lord Yupa from an anger-blinded Ohmu,
And flies upon her glider to announce his soon return.
In their protected valley, her small people built a home,
Content to let fierce kingdoms fight; it’s none of their concern.
 
But soon a crippled airship from Tolmekia appears
And crashes in the valley, killing everyone on board.
The threat of jungle infestation sparks the people’s fears,
And plus, the living cargo is too dire to be ignored.
 
Kushana of Tolmekia soon comes to claim their prize,
A deadly giant warrior, which bathed the earth in flame.
They kill the valley’s king but still they claim to be good guys,
For burning down the forest is their ill-considered aim.
 
The warrior’s developing as Nausicaä is bound
With others by Kushana on a journey through the air.
Their airships are shot down by one small plane that’s also downed.
The princess and Kushana land within a jungle snare.
 
Escaping from an Ohmu nest thanks to Nausicaä’s calm action,
Kushana and the other fly while Nausicaä must stand
To save the shooter pilot who is from another faction
Called Pejite, but the two of them are captured by quicksand.
 
They find themselves below the jungle, where the air is clean,
And realize that the jungle plants absorb the earth’s pollution.
Mankind corrupted all the earth, and now most people mean
To burn the jungle, ruining the planet’s last solution.
 
They fly their way to Pejite, which is ravaged by insects.
Survivors plan to lure the Ohmu to Nausicaä’s homeland
To take out the Tolmekians and all of their subjects
And catch the giant warrior to have at their command.
 
Their ship is ambushed yet again, which lets the princess flee.
She goes ahead to see the Ohmu stampeding toward the valley.
The Pejites have an injured baby o’er an acid sea,
And she succeeds in freeing it before the big finale.
 
Kushana wakes the giant which annihilates some Ohmu,
Before it melts away, too undeveloped to survive.
The baby Ohmu and Nausicaä then stand before her home
In front of the invading insects, rushing to arrive.
 
They run her over but then stop to see this brave young lass;
They heal her wounds and so fulfill an ancient prophecy.
Kushana and her men return back home at this impasse,
And now the earth and all mankind may live in harmony.
______________________
 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind was Hayao Miyazaki’s breakout film as a director. It’s an environmentally heavy sci-fi action film that highlights Miyazaki’s pacifist ideology and his wildly imaginative storytelling. While Disney was working on the likes of The Black Cauldron, Japan was producing animated gems like this.

Technically made before the start of his Studio Ghibli, Nausicaä was a tale that didn’t have much support at first because most anime depends on pre-existing properties in the world of manga (Japanese comic books). Since he couldn’t get funding without an already popular manga, he made one and published Nausicaä in serial form from 1982 to 1994. This earned him the necessary backing, but since only 16 chapters (out of 59) had been completed by the time of the film, the plot encompasses only the part that he had finished. While it was a huge blockbuster upon its release because of the manga, the movie ends a bit abruptly, and it feels like there is more of the story to tell, even though the film is ambitious enough as it is.

The hand-drawn animation is detailed and impressive throughout the two-hour film, especially in the climax, and it has that Miyazaki touch that raises it above most other anime. The voice acting in Disney’s English dub is uniformly good, featuring Alison Lohman, Shia LaBeouf, Uma Thurman, Chris Sarandon, Edward James Olmos, Mark Hamill, and the inimitable Patrick Stewart as Lord Yupa. Joe Hisaishi’s outstanding score also grabbed my attention when I first saw it and, not counting the synthesizer segments, is one of my favorite film scores. As for the plot, it’s incredibly detailed, and my above poem only scratched the surface of the layered events, characters, and motivations. With its complex mythology, messianic prophecy, and giant misunderstood insectoid creatures, the closest thing I could compare it to is Frank Herbert’s Dune series.

The environmentalist theme is rather clunky, blaming mankind for polluting the earth’s topsoil and water and building the giant warriors to destroy everything while providing no details about the circumstances. Thankfully, though, the film doesn’t browbeat humanity too much, and when the focus is on the science fiction and the characters, it’s some of Miyazaki’s best work. My VC, who doesn’t care for anime, at least saw and appreciated it for what it was, but, for me, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind remains an influential sci-fi classic.

Best line: (Asbel, after eating some “healthy” nuts) “Why does everything that’s good for you have to taste so bad?”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
Other (heavy environmentalism): -3
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #201 – Murphy’s Romance

© 2014 S. G. Liput

135 Followers and Counting

 

Superman (1978)

18 Wednesday Jun 2014

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The distant planet Krypton, after stopping an attack
By Ursa, Non, and Zod, confines all three (but they’ll be back).
But scientist Jor-El still feels that Krypton’s on the brink
Of imminent destruction, which nobody else will think.
 
As Krypton starts to crumble, he sends out his infant son,
And once the world explodes, the young Kal-El’s the only one.
He flies throughout the stars before crash landing on our sphere
And is adopted by the Kents, who know he’s not from here.
 
“Clark” grows and calls the earth his home, the Kents his mom and dad,
But tries to hide the speed and strength that he has always had.
When Jonathan, his wise old father, passes from this earth,
Clark finds the hidden secret of his otherworldly birth.
 
He leaves with one green crystal for the Arctic, strangely led,
And throws it to create a giant fortress there instead.
Recordings of Jor-El reveal the secrets he will master,
The reason for his powers which he’ll use to stop disaster.
 
Years later, at the Daily Planet Clark Kent is employed,
Now acting timid; any danger he’s quick to avoid.
Though he’s a hero, strong reporter Lois Lane can’t tell
And thinks him geeky when he faints and says the old word “swell.”
 
A helicopter accident puts Lois Lane in danger
Until she then is rescued by a blue-and-red-clad stranger.
He flies around Metropolis, performing decent deeds,
Preventing crimes and helping citizens with all their needs.
 
Intent on learning more of him, Lane gets an interview
With enigmatic Superman, and one free night flight too.
Her articles and news reports attract the veiled attention
Of evil mastermind Lex Luthor, who drips condescension.
 
He formulates a wicked scheme to redirect two bombs
And sink the California coast without the slightest qualms.
He steals a foreign meteor that glows with greenish light,
Attracting Superman to cripple him with Kryptonite.
 
Though Superman is rescued and stops one bomb, he’s too late;
The other causes earthquakes, sealing California’s fate.
Our hero still saves buses, towns, and fault lines too, although
He cannot save poor Lois Lane from landslides even so.
 
Heartsick with grief, he breaks a rule, reversing our Earth’s time,
To bring back Lois and prevent the worst of Luthor’s crime.
He drops off Luthor at a jail, and flies ‘twixt Earth and space,
The ever-faithful guardian of all the human race.
_____________________
 

The first modern superhero movie, Superman was a really big deal when it was released in 1978, pulling out big name stars like Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman and charging big bucks for product placement. (I hope it was worth it, Cheerios.) Watching it thirty-six years later, the special effects are still effective, quite deserving of the Special Achievement Award they received, and John Williams’ magnificent score remains as iconic as it was then. Anyone who can compose for Jane Eyre and Superman and make them both synonymous with the film is a master composer.

As I said in my Superman II post, Christopher Reeve is Superman, and I have yet to see anyone who can wear the red cape as well as he could. Gene Hackman introduces Lex Luthor with the perfect blend of villainy and charisma. (Villains are always more menacing when you see their hands first, right?) Margot Kidder also does well as Lois Lane, and I like the little quirks the filmmakers added to her character, like her constantly misspelling of words. Embracing the role of Daily Planet chief Perry White, Jackie Cooper acts as an entertaining forerunner to J. Jonah Jameson of the Spider-Man films.

The film does have some faults other than the San Andreas one. Some scenes go on much too long, such as the rather boring opening credits, the construction of his Fortress of Solitude, and his flight with Lois Lane. Since they still had Williams’ memorable score, it’s not as bad as Star Trek: The Motion Picture in that regard, but these scenes make the film longer than it needed to be. Also, Lex Luthor makes some astounding leaps of reasoning to deduce that a particular meteorite in Africa came from Superman’s home planet, and “it stands to reason” that it must be deadly for the man of steel. It’s a good hypothesis, but there’s nothing to back it up. Likewise, the final scene where Superman reverses Earth’s rotation to reverse time is perhaps the least scientific portrayal of time travel ever put on film. Again, I don’t see how he knew his actions would have the desired effect when they could just as easily have caused more earthquakes or something worse.

It’s not a perfect superhero film, but as one of the first comic book blockbusters, it’s an incredibly influential one for the genre, aiming for gravitas while also retaining some campy charm. The recent Man of Steel had plenty of the gravitas and much more eye-popping effects, but it lacked the charm. Superman Returns was unsuccessful at both for me.Though Marvel has taken over superhero films for the most part, DC had a strong start with Superman, and it still makes audiences “believe a man can fly.”

Best line: (Superman, during his interview with Lois) “I’m here to fight for truth, and justice, and the American way.” [I didn’t like how Superman Returns ruined that line.]   (Lois) “You’re gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country!”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 9
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #204 – Peter Pan (to complete my trilogy of films with people flying around)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

133 Followers and Counting

 

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

129 Followers and Counting

 

The Terminator (1984)

06 Friday Jun 2014

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The future is dismal and vast:
Machines conquered Earth very fast.
The humans impede
On the bots and succeed,
But one cyborg goes to the past.
 
This buff, human-like Terminator
Is out for the blood of a waiter.
He wants Sarah Connor,
Is almost upon her,
But fails when he tries to negate her.
 
A human came too, Kyle Reese,
To not let this woman decease.
He gets her away,
But they both cause a fray,
And are captured by L.A. police.
 
The cyborg of termination
Just massacres all at the station.
Both Sarah and Reese
Seize this chance for release
And flee from the sheer devastation.
 
They go to a hotel and kiss,
Conceiving the cause of all this.
For Sarah’s son John
Will lead rebellion,
Which all the machines want to miss.
 
The cyborg finds them and gives chase,
And they run all over the place.
They blow up the bot;
It’s dead now…or not.
It now has a scarier face.
 
They take a dark factory tour
And then blow it up like before.
Reese dies from the blast,
But it’s over at last.
No, wait, half its body wants more!
 
When Sarah is done panicking,
She finally crushes the thing.
No more Terminator,
She then drives south later
And fears what the future will bring.
___________________
 

James Cameron has directed a number of great feature films and some less than great, but it all started with this one (if you ignore Piranha II). The plot combines traditional horror hunts with a surprisingly well-thought-out dystopian future and time travel to create something at once scary, thrilling, and unique, especially for 1984.

I think the main reason for its success was not Linda Hamilton as Sarah or Michael Biehn as Reese (though both do an excellent job) but Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will forever be the Terminator. If great acting involves simply being steely enough to intimidate both the characters and the audience, then the former governor of California is a master. Many critics said the role was perfect for him because he didn’t have to speak much. He’s so integral to the franchise that he’ll even be in the reboot next year.

The film itself is a thrill ride with great focus put on the car chases. My VC, who likes the film too, actually thought the chase scenes ran on rather long. The part involving Reese and Sarah’s romance in the hotel room slowed it down a bit too much, in addition to throwing in unnecessary nudity.

Overall, it is certainly an R-rated movie. There’s profanity, tons of shooting and deaths (though Cameron could have made it worse), the nudity, and that icky scene with the Terminator’s eye, which is mitigated by the fact that it’s obviously an animatronic. Yet The Terminator is also a gold standard for sci-fi fans with cool effects and some truly awesome explosions and is a definite part of popular culture. I’ve already reviewed the third one and this is the first, so all I can say for the Terminator is that he’ll “be back.”

Best line: (you guessed it; the Terminator) “I’ll be back.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 10
Watchability: 7
Other (violence, language, nudity, etc.) -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #216 – Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Superman II (1980)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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Superman is back again
To keep the world on track again.
He loves reporter Lois Lane,
Who loves the hero heaven-sent
But not her coworker Clark Kent,
Not knowing they’re one and the same.
 
Paris has a bombing threat
And soon owes Superman a debt.
He lets the bomb explode in space,
Unknowingly releasing three
Kryptonians from captivity,
Who plan to rule the human race.
 
At Niagara Falls, though, Lane
Believes Clark isn’t so mundane.
She learns that he is Superman;
For their love he then commits
To sap his powers; he just quits
Freely, with no backup plan.
 
Ursa, Non, and General Zod
Take the planet and play God.
When Clark learns of this too late,
He regains his mighty powers
To defend this world of ours
From the trio full of hate.
 
When he cannot beat all three,
There’s one place that he can flee.
But Lex Luthor tells the sinners
Where to find him, so they soar
To his Fortress to make war.
There they vie to be the winners.
 
Superman, through cleverness,
Makes the villains powerless
And each wicked rogue descends.
Lois though is still upset,
Such that Clark makes her forget,
And they’re once again just friends.
Thus with fanfare, this tale ends.
_________________
 

Superman was one of the great original superhero movies, and this sequel continued its winning blend of (then) impressive visuals, memorable villains, and melodramatic comic-ness. My VC and I have always felt that Christopher Reeve was Superman, easily outdoing Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill in embodying the character. Likewise, Gene Hackman excels as Lex Luthor, though Kevin Spacey came close to hitting the mark in Superman Returns while making the character much darker than Hackman’s portrayal. Margot Kidder may not be the Lois Lane, but she’s the best one I’ve seen and does pair well with Reeve. Lastly, the three villains, Ursa, Non, and General Zod, may be one-dimensionally villainous, but they are certainly formidable opponents for the man of steel.

I’ll go ahead and say that the first film is higher on my list, mainly because this second one has some elements that bother me. Aside from some silly effects, like clothes fluttering in the “breeze” of space, Superman himself is much less vigilant than he ought to be, letting both a nuclear threat in Paris and a worldwide extraterrestrial takeover slip past him. His removal of his powers (for the sake of “love”) may be romantic, but it also seems quite selfish and irresponsible on his part, as well as Lois Lane’s. The scene where he is beaten up in a diner confirmed the issue to me. In the first film, it was clear that Superman was pretending to be the nerdy Clark Kent; in Superman II, mainly in the middle part, it seems as if Clark Kent is pretending to be Superman and failing.

Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable superhero film that may not have the spectacular effects of more recent movies (though some destructive scenes in the Metropolis battle are impressive), but the familiar characters, engaging plot, glorious score, and campy action come together to make it a classic. It’s also much better than its two sequels. I haven’t seen them, but my VC says don’t bother.

Best line (or at least the most laughable): (a Metropolis bystander, after they think Superman has been defeated by the invulnerable supervillains) “They’ve killed Superman! What are we gonna do now?” (another man) “Let’s go get ’em! C’mon, I know some judo.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #217 – The Terminator

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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When Trevor Anderson, a failing volcanologist,
Is visited by nephew Sean, they try to coexist.
A decade earlier, Sean’s father Max just disappeared
While proving geologic theories he had pioneered.
 
They locate Max’s copy of the classic book by Verne,
A Journey to the Center of the Earth, and they discern
That Max saw seismic signals, that are present now as well,
Which sent him off to Iceland, where his brother thinks he fell.
 
Both Sean and Trevor follow where they think Max may have flown,
A closed-down institute where a young woman lives alone.
This Hannah says her father thought Verne’s book was based on fact,
And Max most likely did as well, though why is not exact.
 
She takes them to the mountain where a sensor’s activated,
But lightning traps them in a cave; their journey seems ill-fated.
Descending deeper underground, they find a vacant mine
And, after cruising in some carts, discover gems that shine.
 
The floor gives out from under them, and falling takes a while.
At last, they reach the bottom after mile after mile.
They find a giant, hidden world within the planet’s core,
Just like the book by Verne that they had not believed before.
 
Once they find Max’s body, they know danger is afoot.
The temperature is rising, and the trio can’t stay put.
They sail across the ocean; though Sean ends up blown away,
They all continue northward, having only one more day.
 
Encountering more perils, killer plants and floating stones,
Both Sean and Trevor reunite upon a field of bones.
Escaping from a T-Rex, they and Hannah hitch a ride
On a giant lava geyser that blows all of them outside.
 
The group emerge in Italy in cockamamie style,
And Sean brought back some diamonds that help make the trip worthwhile.
When Sean’s about to leave, his Uncle Trevor then suggests
Atlantis could be next on their potential list of quests.
____________________
 

Journey to the Center of the Earth is one of those special effects overloads that, unlike the Transformers films, doesn’t take itself too seriously. It was never meant to be an Oscar contender or an award winner of any kind; it’s just a flawed but all-around fun movie to watch. It’s definitely an enjoyable ride.

I suppose the main reason that my VC and I like it is Brendan Fraser. He’s a skilled and very likable actor, but his career choices have often been stinkers. In Journey, his campy but sincere acting has the right outlet, unlike George of the Jungle or Furry Vengeance. Josh Hutcherson and Anita Briem also own their roles as Sean and Hannah.

To be honest, much of this we’ve seen before. The continuous falling reminded me of a similar scene in Spy Kids 2, the mine cart is like the climax of Temple of Doom, and the dinosaur scenes aren’t that different from the likes of Dinosaur or Jurassic Park. There are also plenty of plot holes. If the temperature is rising so drastically and has done so before, how do the glowing birds survive? How can a Venus fly-trap without eyes, lungs, or a brain attack and hiss at someone? How can they do all that work, building a raft and such, without sweating much or breathing hard in 100-degree-plus heat? If she isn’t like her father, why is an attractive single lady living alone in a deserted wasteland?

Thus, this is not a film for nitpickers. It’s an entertaining and clean adventure with dazzling effects (originally intended to be seen in 3-D) and a pseudo-scientific backing. I wonder what Verne would think of it? (By the way, I don’t care to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Dwayne Johnson isn’t a good enough substitute for Fraser, in my opinion as well as my VC’s.)

Best line: (Sean, in danger, after Trevor’s mention of a rock called schist) “Oh, we’re in deep schist.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #218 – Superman II

© 2014 S. G. Liput

120 Followers and Counting

 

#230: X2: X-Men United (2003)

24 Saturday May 2014

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A teleporting mutant tries to kill the President,
Which makes them think all mutants maybe have the same intent.
A Colonel William Stryker gets the President to rule
That he can send a team into a certain mutant school.
 
Professor X, meanwhile, visits his magnetic foe
And learns that Stryker questioned the imprisoned Magneto.
It seems that Stryker has a drug that mutants can’t withstand.
Magneto stated everything the Colonel would demand.
 
As Cyclops and Xavier are being apprehended,
Professor X’s school is being raided and defended.
Though Stryker’s soldiers capture some before their blitz is seen,
They’re quickly overwhelmed when they encounter Wolverine.
 
Most kids succeed in getting out, but Logan tries to stay
For he remembers Stryker, although how he cannot say.
Yet Logan flees with Rogue and Bobby, her new icy beau,
As well as John, whose fire powers dub the lad Pyro.
 
Meanwhile, Storm and Jean are searching for the teleporter,
And find him very different from a mutant rights supporter.
A Catholic called Nightcrawler, he has no desire to kill
And was compelled to strike the President against his will.
 
When Wolverine and friends drive up to Bobby’s family,
His parents learn their son’s a mutant who can freeze their tea.
Police arrive and so does Jean to spirit them away
To locate Stryker’s fortress, but to missiles they fall prey.
 
They’re rescued by Magneto, whom Mystique had shrewdly freed,
And the foes combine their forces to prevent the villain’s deed.
For Stryker’s used his son to brainwash Charles with a show
That will make him kill all mutants with a copied Cerebro.
 
As the mutants make their way inside a dam, where lies his lair,
They split up to search the place and find opponents waiting there.
Once Wolverine remembers Stryker gave him metal claws,
He’s forced to fight his bodyguard while Stryker then withdraws.
 
Jean also battles Cyclops, who has been brainwashed as well,
While Nightcrawler and Storm save captured students from their cell.
Magneto finds Xavier and changes things a bit
So he will target humans with a worldwide mental hit.
 
Storm and Nightcrawler prevent this as Magneto gets away,
Taking Pyro as an ally who will fight another day.
Stryker’s injured and abandoned by the Wolverine he made,
And the good guys try escaping as the dam starts to cascade.
 
When the jet cannot lift off, Jean goes outside to help it rise
And aids her friends’ escape before her final sacrifice.
They fly to meet the President to tell him not to fear.
There is evil on both sides, but still the good is also near.
(They all think that Jean is gone, but there’s a chance she’ll reappear.)
____________________
 

Considering how much I love comic book movies, it may seem odd that all the X-Men films are fairly close together and rather low on my list. The X-Men are a memorable superhero team, but their world is one of very realistic strife, which, while timely, sometimes detracts from the fun of watching people with superpowers. They’re also more edgy and violent than Marvel’s other properties. Nevertheless, this sequel to the first X-Men is the best of the bunch with many layers to the plot and characters.

Director Bryan Singer pulls off an amazing balancing act as he crams so many characters into one film. There’s Professor X (Patrick Stewart), Magneto (Ian McKellan), Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), Storm (Halle Berry), Cyclops (James Marsden), Mystique (Rebecca Romijn), Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming), Rogue (Anna Paquin), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), Pyro (Aaron Stanford), Lady Deathstrike (Kelly Hu), and a sinister Brian Cox as the bad guy William Stryker. Compare this list with any other superhero film’s cast, and one cannot help but admire the skill it took to handle such an expansive and varied ensemble. While some stand out more than others, every character is given a scene to shine, from Wolverine’s awesome showdown with his female counterpart to Pyro’s flame assault to Jean’s climactic sacrifice. (For the record, Cyclops remains the least developed, having little personality other than his unremarkable relationship with Jean. The third film didn’t help that.)

The filmmakers also made some laudable decisions in what they included. Stryker was originally a mutant-hating reverend in the graphic novel God Loves, Man Kills, but they avoided religious demonizing by making him a rogue military man instead. Plus, religion actually gets a good word from Nightcrawler, who follows an inexplicable mention of angelic symbols from Gabriel with a praiseworthy defense of faith.

The movie admittedly feels very long, but it builds to a marvelous cliffhanger that made everyone look forward to the next film. That next film was X-Men: The Last Stand, which I consider one of the worst movies I’ve seen, offering extremely unsatisfying conclusions for three separate characters (though one has been resurrected for Days of Future Past). Needless to say, you won’t see Last Stand on this list, but X2 remains an impressive achievement among comic book films and the best X-Men film so far (though I’ll be seeing Days of Future Past soon).

Best line: (Nightcrawler) “Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.”
(Storm) “Sometimes anger can help you survive. “
(Nightcrawler) “So can faith.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (violence): -3
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #229 – Brave Little Toaster

© 2014 S. G. Liput

113 Followers and Counting