Tag Archives: Comedy

American Graffiti (1973)

20 Thursday Feb 2014

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The year of this tale is 1962,
And many remember it fondly; do you?
The young Curtis Henderson and his pal Steve
Are planning tomorrow to finally leave
Modesto for college as two cool hot shots,
But Curt, unlike Steve, has some real second thoughts.
 
Steve’s dating Curt’s sister, but Laurie’s withdrawn 
When Steve wants to date other girls while he’s gone.
Steve loans his Impala to Terry the “Toad,”
A nerd who will care for his ride on the road.
There’s also John Milner, a local skirt-chaser,
Whose yellow deuce coupe makes him quite a good racer.
 
First, Terry the “Toad” begins cruising the street
And picks up a girl who seems shallow but neat.
He lies to this Debbie and says it’s his car,
And his fictions of grandeur are working so far.
At Debbie’s insistence, he gets some hard booze
From a liquor store thief who has nothing to lose.
 
Both Terry and Debbie go parking, but soon
The Impala gets swiped by the light of the moon.
They regain their wheels when they get back in town,
But Steve takes it right back to track Laurie down.
The “Toad” tells the truth about all that he’d done,
But Debbie decides that they both still had fun.
****
Meanwhile, Steve’s having some issues with Laurie,
Who’s mad over Steve’s plans of college-bound glory.
She wants him to stay so that he can stay hers.
At the sock hop, she snubs him, and feuding occurs.
He woos her somewhat, but it’s soon clear to him
That their love, if he leaves, will look more and more grim.
 
When Laurie gets mad, she kicks Steve from her car
And hitches a ride with a new racing star.
She sits with Bob Falfa, who races ol’ John.
When his car overturns, she is angry and wan.
But Steve, who has gotten his car back from “Toad,”
Consoles her and says he will not hit the road.
****
Meanwhile, John Milner is going through heck
When he picks up a 12-year-old pain-in-the-neck.
Young Carol wants action that she rarely gets.
Not letting John leave her, she keeps making threats
That she’ll scream or cry rape if he won’t let her stay,
So he does, and some fondness grows from his dismay.
 
They trash someone’s car for a water balloon,
And cruise around town by the street lights and moon.
John drives her home, though she at first had objected,
By offering more “action” than she’d expected.
He then races Falfa, who crashes with style
But survives, and John knows he’s still king for a while.
****
Meanwhile, Curt doubts if he should leave so fast,
But he sees a cute blonde in a T-bird drive past.
For the rest of the night, he obsesses about
That girl, and his longing replaces his doubt.
He also becomes a hostage for a time
By the Pharaohs, a gang that he helps with a crime.
 
Curt earns their respect, as uncouth as they are,
And rips the rear axle right off a cop car.
When freed, he then visits the great Wolfman Jack,
The famous DJ, who is glad to give back.
The Wolfman says hi for him over the air
To that blonde who he thinks is listening somewhere.
 
Curt gets a brief call from this girl he has dreamed,
But she stays as elusive as she ever seemed.
In the end, he decides to fly off and leave town,
And below is the T-bird when Curt glances down.
Curt leaves, and Steve stays, and “Toad” scores, and John wins,
And they’ll each have that night as their new life begins.
_______________________
 

American Graffiti is a classic, plain and simple, and it is a perfect snapshot of what it meant to be a teenager in 1962, at least seen through the eyes of the pre-Star Wars George Lucas. Starring many marvelous before-they-were-famous actors, the casting is perfect, with Ron Howard as Opie – I mean Steve –, Richard Dreyfuss as Mr. Holland – I mean Curt –, Cindy Williams as Shirley – I mean Laurie –, and Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones – I mean Bob Falfa. Charles Martin Smith, Candy Clark, and Mackenzie Phillips also shine in roles perfectly suited for them. Much of the film’s realism is owed to George Lucas, who left in several apparent goofs in order for the proceedings to seem more believable. His editing is also wonderful, switching seamlessly between the four stories that I had to separate in order to translate into a coherent poem.

The main issue once again is the language, which seems a bit more frequent than I would expect for 1962, even if the moral carryover from the ‘50s was dying out. Watching several scenes, such as John Milner and Carol attacking the car of the water balloon culprit, I also can’t help but think how juvenile many events in the film are. Still, it is that youthful immaturity that is so fondly remembered by those who recall those days of cruising and parking. These two matters are the only real drawbacks of a film that has one of the best soundtracks ever, made up of pre-Beatles rock ‘n’ roll, and is deservedly on many other top film lists as well.

Best line: (Debbie, at the end of the night) “I really had a good time. I mean, you picked me up, and we got some hard stuff, saw a holdup, and then we went to the canal, you got your car stolen, and then I got to watch you get sick. And then, you got in this really bitchin’ fight. I really had a good time.”  (Terry the “Toad”) “Yeah, well, I guess I have a pretty good time just about every night.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 3
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (language and immaturity): -8
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #314: The Secret of Kells

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Chicken Run (2000)

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

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Within the Tweedys’ chicken farm,
The chickens aren’t content to scrape.
They know they’ll only come to harm,
And so they always plan escape.
 
When all their tactics go awry,
Their leader Ginger gets the blame.
She never hesitates to try,
But all her schemes end up the same.
 
The failure’s hard on everyone,
Until a rooster falls with style
Into the Tweedys’ chicken run
And brings to Ginger’s face a smile.
 
This Yankee rooster Rocky Rhodes,
Although his wing is rather bruised,
Becomes their proof that other modes
Of getting out can still be used.
 
Though Rocky’s cocky (and it shows),
The chicks are awed that he can fly.
He says he’ll teach them all he knows,
If Ginger hides him, so they try.
 
The circus rooster guides them through
Some odd and silly exercise.
Days later, none seem closer to
Their plan of taking to the skies.
 
Although the hens had always been
Producing eggs the Tweedys sold,
Their owners’ profits have grown thin,
And selling eggs has gotten old.
 
So Mrs. Tweedy sees an ad
And buys a giant loud machine.
Since loud machines are always bad,
The chicks don’t know what it may mean.
 
The Tweedys’ plan is chicken pies,
And they choose Ginger on a whim!
But Rocky saves her, or he tries,
And Ginger ends up saving him.
 
They sabotage the pie machine
And buy themselves some time to fly.
They practice harder, still unseen,
Since no one wants to be a pie.
 
But Rocky knows the truth of it
And leaves the chicken run that night.
When he departs, he does admit
A cannon helped him with his “flight.”
 
At first, the chickens feud and cry,
But Ginger has one last idea.
They build a plane to help them fly,
Their much-awaited panacea.
 
Once the Tweedys have repaired
Their tool, they try to stop their hens.
But Rocky comes back undeclared
And helps to save his threatened friends.
 
So Mrs. Tweedy’s caught inside
A giant gravy mushroom cloud,
While all the chickens now reside
In open spaces, free and proud.
_____________________
 

Unlike many of the poorly received animated films on my list recently, Chicken Run was quite a success and is currently the highest grossing stop-motion feature. Fusing parodies of old POW movies like The Great Escape with an untold number of chicken-related puns, the film creates a surprisingly fresh and funny take on material that could have devolved into unentertaining silliness. Chicken Run stars Mel Gibson (before his descent from popularity) along with a host of less familiar British actors who, along with the skilled puppeteers, create unique and lovable characters out of clay figurines. I also love the score by the great Harry Gregson-Williams and John Powell, which is more instantly recognizable than memorable.

While the animation is seamless, it’s a tad distracting in its unrealism. Unlike real chickens, more “meat” is put into the animated chickens’ thighs rather than their breasts (for obvious reasons, considering it’s a family film), and my VC doesn’t care for Aardman Animations’ habit of giving the characters large mouths that stick out on either side. Despite this, with a hilarious script and some instantly classic scenes, such as the trip through the pie machine, Chicken Run is my favorite stop-motion film, outdoing other works like Wallace and Gromit and The Pirates: Band of Misfits, which are good and entertaining but can’t rival the imaginative genius of this film.

Best line: [the plane is being dragged down by Mrs. Tweedy] (Ginger) “Great Scott, what was that?” (the Scottish hen Mac, after a string of Star Trek references) “A cling-on, Cap’n, and the engines can’t take it.”
 
VC’s best lines (she can’t make up her mind): (Ginger) “Listen. We’ll either die free chickens or we die trying.”  (Babs) “Are those the only choices?”
and
(Bunty, the negative hen) “Oh, face the facts, ducks. The chances of us getting out of here are a million to one.”  (Ginger) “Then there’s still a chance.” 

 

Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (aforementioned look of the animation): -5
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #315: American Graffiti

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Sneakers (1992)

16 Sunday Feb 2014

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Cosmo and Marty are two hacker friends,
Who mess with some funds in 1969.
While Marty is out getting pizza, the feds
Arrest his pal Cosmo, but Marty is fine.
 
After two decades pass, Marty now has a team,
Who help him break into unbreakable banks.
He then offers tips to help make them secure,
Creating a job from what used to be pranks.
 
People Marty’s recruited include Donald Crease,
An ex-CIA with a serious streak;
And “Mother”, a rampant conspiracy theorist,
Who happens to be a technology geek;
 
“Whistler,” a blind man with sensitive ears;
And Carl, who’s young but as sharp as a tack.
They all have had scrapes with the law in the past,
But Marty has helped get their lives back on track.
 
Two men commission the “Sneakers” to find
A cryptic black box for the vague NSA.
They know Marty’s past, which he’s tried to escape,
And offer to wipe his slate clean and to pay.
 
Marty and friends reconnoiter the room
Of Janek, a mathematician, and they
Discover the box he has worked to develop
And break in to spirit the gadget away.
 
Partying after their lucrative sneak,
They talk of the things they will buy with the cash,
But Whistler discovers the box decodes codes
And can break into any network in a flash.
 
Still trusting their clients, they drop off the box
But flee when they find out that Janek’s been slain.
Though Marty accuses the Russians of this,
Their consul is killed before he can explain.
 
Marty is kidnapped and thrown in a trunk
And meets his pal Cosmo he thought died in jail.
His friend then reveals his new mafia ties
And proves he’s gone nuts in his former travail.
 
Using the box to destabilize banks
And countries, he plans to let anarchy reign.
Once Cosmo frames Marty for both of those murders,
He frees him, that Marty may soon know his pain.
 
Needing the box as a bargaining chip,
The “sneakers” plan carefully for their next theft.
With clever techniques and some devious means,
They breach Cosmo’s lair with what time they have left.
 
After some close calls, the jig’s about up
With Marty at gunpoint and Cosmo uptight.
While Cosmo won’t kill him, he does get the box
But finds it’s a decoy once Marty takes flight.
 
Marty and company then arbitrate
With Abbott, a man with the real NSA.
With promises made, they hand over the box
But keep its processor for some rainy day.
__________________________
 

As I said in my review for Entrapment earlier, I’m not a big fan of caper films simply because of the criminal nature of most of their plotlines. However, Sneakers manages to sidestep that issue for the most part by allowing the likable characters to put their formerly nefarious skills to a legal use: breaking into banks and such in order to help their security. Thus, until the last scene, which unfortunately shows that the “sneakers” are not completely on the straight-and-narrow, they use their expertise for (supposedly) reputable organizations or later to escape crimes they were either tricked into committing or for which they were framed. The legality of it all is still rather hazy, but at least they weren’t doing it to steal money or the like.

Sneakers has one of the best underrated ensembles, and the clever and laugh-out-loud script provides good lines and moments for every character. Dan Aykroyd as the conspiracy-spouting “Mother” and Sidney Poitier as Crease, the straight man, play off each other quite well, and David Strathairn is memorable as the blind but ever perceptive “Whistler,” as is Ben Kingsley as Cosmo, even if the villain’s ultimate fate is left up in the air. River Phoenix and Mary McDonnell round out the well-developed cast. As far as my VC is concerned, Robert Redford is reason alone to see it, and she also likes the sophisticated saxophone soundtrack played by Branford Marsalis. I also love James Earl Jones’s cameo at the end.

On top of all this, the methods used by Marty’s team are fascinating, from Whistler’s knack for hearing exactly what’s going on in distant rooms to Mother’s slow-moving tactic for outsmarting motion sensors. The 22-year-old film even manages to be up-to-date by involving the NSA, which has been in the news of late; particularly timely is the fake NSA agent’s insistence that Marty “trust” them. Despite some language and innuendo, Sneakers is an excellent mix of suspense and humor and a worthy member of the caper genre and my list.

Best line: (“Whistler”, while the team makes its demands to the NSA at the end) “I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men.”  (Abbott) “We are the United States Government! We don’t do that sort of thing.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (language and innuendo): -6
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #318: The Planet of the Apes (1968)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Ice Age (2002) & Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)

13 Thursday Feb 2014

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I recently sat down with Sid,
Diego, Manny, and Scrat too,
To ask them of the good ol’ days
In Ice Age, movies one and two.
 
Sid:
“Yeah, I was just fine by myself,
A single sloth all on my own.
Oh, sure, my family migrated
And left me in the tree alone.
 
And, yeah, I ticked some rhinos off
And made them want to crush my head.
That’s why I teamed with Manny here,
Since I prefer not being dead.
 
A mammoth’s good to have, you know,
When you’re the food chain’s bottom rung.
He seemed a little standoffish
And didn’t have the nicest tongue.
 
But then we found a human boy,
A baby, all forlorn and such.
And then, what’s more, Diego came
And seemed to want it very much.
 
I love the guy, but didn’t then.
(You know how sabretooths can be.)
Together, we all took the boy
To bring him to his family.
 
I thought it was a great road trip,
Our trio braving miles of snow.
Diego didn’t eat me too.”
Diego:
“Don’t think I wasn’t tempted though.
 
I’ll take it from this point now, Sid.
I led the way, since I could track.
My plan, though, was to lead our group
Back to my waiting sabre pack.
 
The human men had hunted us,
So vengeance was our only goal.
Yet, as I went, I grew to like
The ankle biter, on the whole.
 
And then when Manny saved my life,
I couldn’t trick them anymore.
I told the truth and all of us
Outfoxed my former pack, all four.
 
Though I was hurt, my buddies here
Returned the squirt without a word.
But I rejoined them afterward.
Our motley bunch was now a herd.”
 
Manny:
“I’ve asked myself why ever since.
It’s one long headache with these two,
Mainly Sid. Why, once he tried
To start a camp for kids. It’s true.
 
Of course, they would have buried him
If I had not been there to save
His sorry hide. That’s ‘bout the time
We almost met a watery grave.
 
The ice was melting all around.
We had to journey to a boat
Because a flood was coming soon,
And mammoths don’t exactly float.
 
See, I was feeling rather down.
I thought perhaps I was the last.
I once had had a family,
But that was in the painful past.
 
Then, Ellie dropped down from a tree,
Another mammoth! That was awesome.
And yet I was a bit perplexed
To see she thought she was a possum.
 
Apparently, she’d been alone,
And possums raised her from her youth.
Though first she was oblivious,
Eventually she saw the truth.
 
Her stubborn streak, and mine as well,
Got in the way of love at first.
But when the flood caught up to us,
I helped to get her through the worst.”
 
Scrat:
“All of you have had your time
To talk about your silly herd,
But I, through four whole Ice Age films
Have never said a single word.
 
But I feel I must say my peace.
I only ever sought a nut,
Which always has been swept away
By glaciers, floods, and who-knows-what!
 
I have been stepped on, shocked, and stretched,
Squished and thrown and frozen too,
That acorn still just out of reach.
I don’t know how I’ve lived; do you?
 
Why, I remember this here flood
These other three have spoken of.
I broke a wall to let it drain
And had a vision from above.
 
A lovely wonderland of nuts,
An acorn heaven void of strife,
Was to be mine, but then this sloth
Came by and brought me back to life!
 
I want a nut! Is that too much
For some filmmaker to arrange?
Why, even now it’s out of reach.
I tell ya, some things never change.”
__________________________
 

Ice Age is a franchise that has spanned a decade, and, while it may have gone on a bit too long for some people, there’s no denying the charm and entertainment value of the original. True, the animation is lackluster and the story is derivative, drawing from previous films like Dinosaur and Monsters, Inc., and it falls prey to the he’s-dead-no-wait-never-mind cliché. But, as with The Road to El Dorado, the main appeal is in the characters and their voice actors. Ray Romano as Manny, Denis Leary as Diego, and especially John Leguizamo as Sid become such endearing characters that it’s easy to see why the film spawned three sequels. Not to mention Scrat, one of the greatest slapstick characters of recent years.

I myself have only seen the first film and its immediate follow-up Ice Age: The Meltdown, which I like just about as much. Blue Sky Studios’ animation had greatly improved by then, and the action, laughs, and lovable characters were still plentiful, even if some elements are inexplicable, such as the existence of that MacGuffin of a Noah’s ark and the sudden appearance of the other mammoths at the end. I have thus grouped the films together since they are more of a piece than some franchises, but both films are definitely list-worthy.

I will also say at this point that this review marks the end of my long string of animated films. These films are all worthwhile, but I felt that better, more adult movies deserved a higher place. Thus, these were somewhat clumped together. Thanks to those still hanging with me.

Best line (from the first): (Manny, when Diego has Sid in his mouth) “Diego, spit that out. You don’t know where it’s been.” (Diego complies)
(Sid) “For a second there, I actually thought you were gonna eat me.” (Diego) “I don’t eat junk food.”

 

Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 3
Originality: 3
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #321: Hitchcock

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Cats Don’t Dance (1997)

08 Saturday Feb 2014

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Danny’s a cat in the old 1930s
Who travels (by song) very far.
He leaves his small town for his Hollywood dreams
In hopes of becoming a star.
 
With singing and dancing his tools of the trade,
In no time he lands his first part
Alongside one Sawyer, a cynical cat,
And at first he does not win her heart.
 
They play the two cats in a Noah’s Ark film
With Miss Darla Dimple, the young
“Lover of children and animals,” who
By Danny is quickly outsung.
 
She calls her gargantuan butler named Max,
Who follows her every command.
He intimidates Danny to stick to “Meow,”
Engulfing the cat in his hand.
 
Yet Danny will not be deterred easily,
And, with help from a movie icon,
He tries to inspire his animal friends,
Whose colors and hopes have grown wan.
 
But Darla and Max try to sabotage them
To make sure they all know their place.
They flood the whole studio, casting the blame
On the beasts, who are banned in disgrace.
 
Then, after a long and lugubrious song,
Poor Danny decides to bounce back.
He invites all his buddies to Darla’s premiere
To get all their careers back on track.
 
As Danny’s preparing for after the film,
Max attempts to prevent his display,
But a chase on the roof puts Max on a balloon
And sends the hulk floating away.
 
When Danny and friends then announce their surprise,
A song and dance show for the ages,
Young Darla, the loud child actor from hell,
Can’t stop them, but, afterward, rages.
 
She lets out her part in the earlier flood
And is “dropped,” so to speak, in advance,
While Danny and Sawyer and all of their pals
Have proven that, yes, cats can dance.
___________________________
 

(For those still reading, thanks for sticking with me through this juvenile section of animated films.  Though I am a fan of animation, I assure you more adult fare is on its way.)

Cats Don’t Dance flopped at the box office, mainly due to very little advertisements promoting it, but it became well known in my house due to Cartoon Network’s “Cartoon Theatre.” Along with other films like Wakko’s Wish, The Iron Giant, and Balto, this film was shown over and over, week after week, until we were almost sick of it, and then it fell off our radar for years before recently resurfacing for some well-deserved appreciation.

Yes, the Warner Bros. animation is not Disney quality. Yes, several of the Randy Newman songs are rather forgettable, and Sawyer’s number is too slow and depressing. And yes, there are many unmentioned implications with the idea of anthropomorphic animals being treated as second-class citizens. Yet, despite all of these issues, the movie is fun–short, straightforward, entertaining fun. The changing of the color palette during the “Animal Jam” song was an interesting bit of artistry I had never noticed as a kid; the opening and closing songs are memorable and catchy; Scott Bakula’s Danny is endearing, and Sawyer is quite attractive for an animated cat; and the whole movie has such a fast-paced sense of enjoyment that I can ignore most of its faults. Whether to watch with the kids or just for sheer nostalgia, Cats Don’t Dance is an unsung classic.

Best line: (Darla in film) “Yea, as you walk through your valley of despair, fear not. For I am your little Ark Angel, and I will look after each and every little, teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy one of you!”  [audience goes “awww”]  (Cranston the grumpy goat) “Shoot me.”

 
 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #326: Rise of the Guardians

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Nine to Five (1980)

31 Friday Jan 2014

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Miss Judy Bernly, a wronged divorcee,
Is starting her job in an office today.
So Violet Newstead, who has worked there for years,
Shows Judy the ropes and deepens her fears.
She also is met by her boss Franklin Hart,
Who isn’t as nice as he seems at the start.
 
He yells at mistakes and he fires for trifles,
And all innovations he’s eager to stifle,
Except for the ones that he feels can be shown
To his boss, which he then passes off as his own.
He chases his well-endowed aide Doralee,
And, though she resists, sordid rumors roam free.
 
On a day when their boss is especially vile,
The three women leave to get drunk for a while.
Since Violet has pot, they all share it three ways,
And dream how they’d like to make Mr. Hart pay.
Shy Judy would hunt him, Doralee would hog-tie him,
And Violet would poison and gladly defy him.
 
The next day, when Hart hits his head, needing care,
Violet thinks that she may have indeed put him there.
She put poison, not sugar, in Mr. Hart’s drink,
And now he is dead, or at least so they think.
They steal the wrong body and wig out a bit,
But Hart’s fine the next day, until they admit,
 
In the bathroom, what happened, and Hart then is told.
Their “murderous plot” he will gladly withhold
From police, if Miss Doralee comes out and plays,
But all three have had it with Hart’s heartless ways.
Their visions come true, as they tie up the jerk,
And bind him at home to restrain him from work.
 
Their actions so far were impulsive and flawed,
Till they find evidence that Hart’s knee-deep in fraud.
They keep him imprisoned beneath his own roof
For multiple weeks while they wait for their proof.
The three, in the meantime, change things in Hart’s name:
A day care, job sharing, a whole lot less blame.
 
When Hart’s wife sets him free, their whole plan’s all but failed.
He hides his fraud well and cannot be blackmailed.
Back in at the office, Hart’s frightened and floored
When he gets a rare visit from the chair of the board.
He likes the new office and thinks that Hart led it,
So Hart once again gets the blame – I mean, credit.
 
Hart gets a promotion, against his own will,
A job in the jungle somewhere in Brazil.
The girls are ecstatic; the office is free,
And all (except Hart) live and work happily.
______________________
 

Nine to Five is a workplace comedy that feels familiar in many ways. It combines the underdog-vs-boss storyline of Working Girl with the musical getting-ready opening scenes and the overwhelmed newbie coming into her own from The Devil Wears Prada. It has a predatory bathroom scene like that in Witness. The snitch Roz reminds me, for all the world, of Randall/Ms. Finster from the cartoon Recess, constantly reporting to Principal Prickly (coincidentally voiced by Dabney Coleman, who played Mr. Hart). Yet Nine to Five was released in 1980, long before any of these examples.

It is funny throughout, but the stand-out scenes are the girl’s fantasies of getting rid of their boss, which can’t help but elicit cheers, laughs, and serves-you-rights. Violet’s dream even combines live action and animation, acting as a connection between Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

There are some negatives, though, mainly the surprising amount of profanity for a PG-rated movie. Not being a fan of the pot revolution, I also don’t care for the cause of the women’s murderous reveries: a shared joint, which is presented as a guilty pleasure with no consequences rather than a vice or an addiction. Still, except for these, it’s a girl power comedy that should appeal to anyone who has ever had a horrible boss. You can also add Dolly Parton’s Oscar-nominated song “9 to 5” to my End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

Best line: (in Dolly Parton’s dream of vengeance) “Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Whoa, she’s already got him! Now, let’s see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds! Just five seconds!”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (language and drugs): -7
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #334: An Extremely Goofy Movie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

23 Thursday Jan 2014

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Lars is a quiet and self-conscious guy,
An unsocial introvert, painfully shy.
He stays with his brother and sister-in-law,
But lives in the garage, where he’s quick to withdraw.
At work, he shows up but seems always distracted,
Ignoring a girl who (somehow) is attracted.
His brother Gus thinks Lars prefers loneliness,
But his wife Karen worries he’s mad or depressed.
 
Then one day, Lars shows up on Gus’s doorstep,
Displaying (for Lars) an unusual pep.
He says that a girl that he first met online
Is there from Brazil for the very first time.
She doesn’t speak English and needs a wheelchair,
But since Lars is so pleased, Gus and Karen don’t care.
It’s the first time that Lars has (at will) come to call.
They’re thrilled . . . till they see she’s a life-size sex doll.
 
They’re speechless and don’t know just how they should feel,
For Lars seems so earnest in thinking she’s real.
They take this Bianca with Lars, through a ruse,
To a doctor named Dagmar, and hope for good news.
Gus and Karen don’t care for the doctor’s conclusion:
She says they should play along with his delusion.
They spread the word quickly throughout the small town,
Who agree they will humor Lars when he’s around.
 
Bianca is met with both worry and shock,
But the town supports Lars, once they’ve had time to gawk.
He talks to her, walks with her, takes her on dates,
And tells everyone of her laudable traits.
But visits with Dagmar reveal Lars’s fears
Of death and of contact he’s cooped up for years.
As folks treat Bianca as if she were living,
They distance Lars from her, but Lars has misgivings.
 
His light-hearted ignorance starts then to dim,
When his childish delusion’s not centered on him.
He starts to grow close to one Margo at work,
But Bianca’s a burden he cannot yet shirk.
It’s not till she’s dying, at least in his mind,
That he finally leaves his Bianca behind.
The town that so loved Lars mourns too for his girl,
But perhaps now he’s ready to face the real world.
____________________________
 

Lars and the Real Girl is a dramedy, a comedy that’s dramatic and a drama that’s funny. It’s a quirky movie that is gentle and caring in its humor, just like the townspeople that help Lars grow out of his delusion. With the sex doll and an obvious mental illness, the plot could have so easily become disgusting and insulting, but instead it showcases some fine acting and an excellent script. Ryan Gosling is amazingly believable as Lars and plays off Bianca the doll quite convincingly. Paul Schneider as Gus and Emily Mortimer as Karen also shine, and, by the end of the movie, I could honestly say that I liked all of these characters. Though the script is full of awkward silences and hesitant answers, which make the movie feel slow overall, the dialogue seems very realistic, as if capturing real conversations. My VC thought it was rather weird and slow, but she at least appreciated it.

While the entire town is unrealistically supportive, from electing Bianca to the school board to sending an ambulance for her, their concern for Lars is admittedly sweet, though it’s unclear what he’s done to warrant such love and attention from them. I liked that Lars never used the doll sexually and respected it as he would a real woman. I also appreciate the presence of a kind and unmocked church that helps Lars and (partially) puts forth the great message of the movie: 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” Not many films apply morals from the Bible anymore.

While Lars and the Real Girl is not as funny or as dramatic as other films, it successfully makes the audience care for the characters while enjoying a few laughs along the way.

Best line: (Gus, when Lars asks him about being a man) “You grow up when you decide to do right. Okay, and not what’s right for you, but what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 4
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 7
Watchability: 4
 
TOTAL: 28 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #342 – The Incredible Hulk

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Working Girl (1988)

22 Wednesday Jan 2014

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Tess McGill’s a secretary, bottom of the corporate ladder.
As she tries and fails to climb it, she gets more upset and sadder.
Sick of jobs where sleazy bosses chase her round the desk all day,
She gets a job with Katharine Parker, whom she’s happy to obey.
 
For Katharine’s nice and treats Tess well, encouraging her secretary,
Tess is so relieved to have a boss who doesn’t seem contrary.
Bringing Katharine her idea about a radio acquisition,
Tess is sure she has no reason to have any bad suspicion.
 
Then, while skiing, Katharine’s injured; she’ll be out a couple weeks.
So Tess, with Katharine’s voice recorded, practices her voice techniques,
Until she hears, from Katharine’s mouth, that Katharine stole her radio plan,
And, back at home, Tess finds another woman sleeping with her man.
 
Choosing then to take control of where her life and job are going,
Tess decides to act like Katharine’s colleague, with nobody knowing.
Using Katharine’s clothes and office, Tess avails her expertise
To pitch the thought of radio as perfect for Trask Industries.
 
She needs somebody else to help: Jack Trainer, who’s behind her plan,
Which gets Trask into media and stops a seizure from Japan.
Jack also brought Tess home one night when she had had too much to drink,
But still they work together better than that start might have one think.
 
Flattery and wedding crashing get them where they want to be,
And then – surprise! – they fall in love. But who could possibly foresee
That Katharine had been dating Jack, who says he’d rather be with Tess?
But when Miss Parker comes back home, she snatches Tess’s great success.
 
The truth is known, and Katharine (with her crutches) gets the sympathy,
But Jack decides that he believes Tess, though the others disagree.
Yet when Trask attempts to ask how each of them derived the plan,
Kate draws a blank but Tess can say, convincing them that she’s their man.
 
In the end, Tess goes to work for Trask, who’s thoroughly impressed.
Dating Jack, her love life too has also been immensely blessed.
Though, at first, she thinks she’s back to cubicles and making do,
Soon she sees that she has power and an office with a view.
_____________________________
 

Working Girl is a Cinderella story set against the backdrop of the New York banking industry, but this time the damsel transforms her own life without any magical assistance. The acting and the story are outstanding, particularly the performances of Melanie Griffith as Tess, Harrison Ford as Jack, and Sigourney Weaver as Katharine. (Despite the star power and several Oscar nominations, the film only won for best song, and Ford was snubbed entirely.) The characters have humor and charm to spare, and, even with the girl power message, I, as a guy, still enjoyed it. My VC, as a chick, loved it.

I will say that the director and writer included some completely unnecessary adult content, such as language and two scenes of nudity, that detracted from the film overall and was probably thrown in there just to get the Oscar-worthy R rating. Plus, as I mentioned in my previous review for Entrapment, the story has the two leads inevitably and unimaginatively sleep together.

The best part of the whole film, in my opinion, is the Oscar-winning song “Let the River Run,” which plays at the beginning and end and definitely deserves a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. It’s incredibly lovely and inspiring, though one can’t help but sigh when the Twin Towers are shown so prominently in the opening. (The lobby scenes were even shot in the World Trade Center.) Though it could have been cleaner and the financial jargon flew way over my head, Working Girl is nevertheless a fun and very entertaining romantic comedy.

Best line: (Jack, after Tess has completely passed out from Valium and alcohol) “Would you like a nightcap?”

VC’s best line: (guy) “She took a muscle relaxant for the flight down.”  (Katharine, giddily) “Oh, let’s all have one, shall we?”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: N/A (unless you count those huge ‘80s hairdos)
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (language and nudity): -7
Other (great song): 1
 
TOTAL: 28 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #343 – Lars and the Real Girl

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Despicable Me (2010)

19 Sunday Jan 2014

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Gru is a villain who’s proud and content
To be wicked and vile (with a foreign accent).
When another one-ups him, he vows (since he’s mad)
To ransom the moon and to prove that he’s bad.
 
He pilfers a shrink ray from someplace unknown,
To warrant the evil bank granting a loan.
Right after he steals it, it’s stolen again
By some nerd named Vector, who shrinks Gru’s airplane.
Gru tries everything to recover his prize,
But simply cannot catch his foe by surprise.
 
Yet three little girls selling cookies, he sees,
Are waltzed right inside Vector’s fortress with ease.
So adopting these orphans becomes his new plot
For stealing the shrink ray without getting caught.
While Margo and Edith and Agnes are wary,
They hope for the best, though Gru seems mean and scary.
 
At first, he’s aloof and won’t stoop to play dad.
He couldn’t care less while he’s being so bad.
With cookie-shaped robots, Gru steals the shrink ray
And hopes that he’ll now send the children away.
But, at an amusement park, all have a ball,
So perhaps children are not that bad after all.
 
The bank still won’t fund him, so Gru’s spirits tank
Till his sweet little girls give their small piggy bank.
Gru now has a mission to fund and arrange
With the children’s donation and lots of spare change.
But Doctor Nefario, Gru’s ancient cohort,
Fears Gru’s going soft with these girls to support.
He sends them away, and Gru sadly agrees.
He’s too evil for stories and drinking of teas.
 
Gru takes off for the moon in his own homemade rocket,
And comes back to Earth with it tucked in his pocket.
But when he discovers the girls have been seized
By Vector (of course), he is greatly displeased.
With someone to fight for, Gru easily smashes
Through Vector’s defenses, so Vector then dashes
Away in his ship with the three girls in tow,
And that’s when the miniature moon starts to grow.
One action scene later, they’ve vanquished their foe.
When the girls trusted Gru, he did not let them go.
 
So the moon ends up back in its usual place
(With Vector on top of it, dancing in space).
And Gru finds there’s more than just proving he’s bad.
He winds up becoming a pretty good dad.
_____________________
 

Despicable Me is a CGI adventure-comedy in which, to be quite honest, I had little interest at first. My VC, who left midway through, was also not impressed. The little yellow minions are more annoying than funny, the beginning isn’t all that interesting, and most of the film makes evil villains seem silly and cute. Like Megamind, the villain plays the main role and is aghast when a worse villain shows up, but, while the previous film had the desire for romance and little else change the bad guy for the better, here it’s the love of the three cute girls that manages to melt Gru’s heart.

For every overly silly or unsuccessfully-trying-to-be-funny scene, there’s one with more depth and meaning later. From the constant disparagement Gru’s mother directed at him, fueling his desire to please her through villainy, to the naïve girls’ undeniably sweet donation toward Gru’s cause, there are certainly elements to which anyone can relate. My favorite scene is the climax, in which Gru’s desire for the girls’ safety is proven much stronger than his villainous ambition.

The animation isn’t bad and is actually quite detailed, though not as pleasing to the eye as Pixar’s or even Dreamworks’. The voice acting is spot-on, with Steve Carell barely recognizable with that Eastern European accent. Plus, it does have some real humor mixed in, such as self-referencing the orphans’ situation to Annie. All in all, it’s not a great animated film, but it’s a pretty good one. Despite some dark humor and overt silliness (I’m not a fan of the minions), it still deserves a place on the list.

Best line: (Agnes) “Will you read us a bedtime story?”  (Gru) “No.”  (Agnes) “Pretty please?”  (Gru) “The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 4
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 4
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 28 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #346: City of Ember

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Meet the Robinsons (2007)

14 Tuesday Jan 2014

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Lewis is an orphan (and inventor, by the way)
Who desires to be adopted, but his efforts do not pay.
His inventions scare his prospects, who don’t seem to comprehend,
And his labors keep his roommate Goob awake for nights on end.
He invents a masterpiece then for a science fair and show,
Which will let him see his mother who had left him years ago.
But his gadget goes haywire, bringing chaos from unease,
And one Wilbur Robinson still follows him as Lewis flees.
He insists that Lewis fix it, and to strengthen his contentions,
He takes Lewis to the future in a time machine he mentions.
These two minors promptly crash it, so they go to Wilbur’s home,
Where young Lewis tries to fix it, but he cannot help but roam.
Lewis then meets Grandpa Bud and lots of quirky relatives,
Who give him a special tour of where this wacky family lives.
In the meantime, there’s a man who wears a robot bowler hat
Who’s intent on ruining Lewis and destroying him at that.
He attempts to make the memory thing his own, but fails the con,
Since he’s really much too stupid to know how to turn it on.
With another time machine he stole, the villain then implores
Various beasts to capture Lewis, using frogs to dinosaurs.
Wilbur’s lies of Lewis’ origins catch up to him at last
When his family soon discovers that the boy is from the past.
Though he wishes he could stay, they say he simply must go back
So he runs and then is captured by the bowler-hatted quack.
Then the spiteful wretch reveals himself to be a grown-up Goob
Who blames Lewis for his growing up to be a washed-out rube.
For while Goob grew ever bitter, Lewis garnered celebrations;
He’s the father of both Wilbur and the future’s innovations!
Goob and Doris, who’s the bowler hat, a vengeful past invention,
Then go back in time to put a stop to Lewis’ grand ascension.
When this changes up the future to a bowler hat nightmare,
Lewis fixes his first time machine and mends the whole affair.
After that, he meets his future self, and then goes to the past,
Where he has the chance to meet his mom who gave him up, at last.
And yet, he does not take it, for it might take things off track,
And he knows he can’t move forward if he keeps on looking back.
Lewis fixes his invention; he’s adopted too, all right;
With success and love within his sight, he knows his future’s bright.
__________________
 

Meet the Robinsons may not have had an overwhelmingly positive response when it was first released in 2007, but it’s an excellent family film. With imagination running amok and frenetic, fast-talking humor galore, it’s a remarkably well-constructed film that offers some mature themes alongside nearly SpongeBob-ian silliness. (I also thought the bowler-hat-controlled future looked very similar to Plankton’s bucket-helmet takeover in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie three years earlier.)

The animation is good but obviously not the best CGI out there and seems to me to serve as the transition between the unimpressive Chicken Little animation to that of the almost Pixar-quality Tangled and Frozen. Though the time travel continuity falls apart during the bowler hat dystopia scenes, the writers were pretty careful in making most of the time travel elements work well together. The best part is the message of ”Keep Moving Forward,” a line straight from Walt Disney himself. The end definitely pulls on the heartstrings and made my VC cry the first time she saw it. Also, add “The Future Has Arrived” to the End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

 

Best line: (after insane craziness at the dinner table) (Lewis) “Is dinner like this every night?” (Uncle Art) “No, yesterday we had meatloaf.”

VC’s best line: “It’s shiny!” (a recurring gag)

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 4
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 6
Watchability: 4
 
TOTAL: 27 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #351: Witness

© 2014 S. G. Liput