Danny’s a cat in the old 1930s

Who travels (by song) very far.

He leaves his small town for his Hollywood dreams

In hopes of becoming a star.

 

With singing and dancing his tools of the trade,

In no time he lands his first part

Alongside one Sawyer, a cynical cat,

And at first he does not win her heart.

 

They play the two cats in a Noah’s Ark film

With Miss Darla Dimple, the young

“Lover of children and animals,” who

By Danny is quickly outsung.

 

She calls her gargantuan butler named Max,

Who follows her every command.

He intimidates Danny to stick to “Meow,”

Engulfing the cat in his hand.

 

Yet Danny will not be deterred easily,

And, with help from a movie icon,

He tries to inspire his animal friends,

Whose colors and hopes have grown wan.

 

But Darla and Max try to sabotage them

To make sure they all know their place.

They flood the whole studio, casting the blame

On the beasts, who are banned in disgrace.

 

Then, after a long and lugubrious song,

Poor Danny decides to bounce back.

He invites all his buddies to Darla’s premiere

To get all their careers back on track.

 

As Danny’s preparing for after the film,

Max attempts to prevent his display,

But a chase on the roof puts Max on a balloon

And sends the hulk floating away.

 

When Danny and friends then announce their surprise,

A song and dance show for the ages,

Young Darla, the loud child actor from hell,

Can’t stop them, but, afterward, rages.

 

She lets out her part in the earlier flood

And is “dropped,” so to speak, in advance,

While Danny and Sawyer and all of their pals

Have proven that, yes, cats can dance.

___________________________

 

(For those still reading, thanks for sticking with me through this juvenile section of animated films.  Though I am a fan of animation, I assure you more adult fare is on its way.)

Cats Don’t Dance flopped at the box office, mainly due to very little advertisements promoting it, but it became well known in my house due to Cartoon Network’s “Cartoon Theatre.” Along with other films like Wakko’s Wish, The Iron Giant, and Balto, this film was shown over and over, week after week, until we were almost sick of it, and then it fell off our radar for years before recently resurfacing for some well-deserved appreciation.

Yes, the Warner Bros. animation is not Disney quality. Yes, several of the Randy Newman songs are rather forgettable, and Sawyer’s number is too slow and depressing. And yes, there are many unmentioned implications with the idea of anthropomorphic animals being treated as second-class citizens. Yet, despite all of these issues, the movie is fun–short, straightforward, entertaining fun. The changing of the color palette during the “Animal Jam” song was an interesting bit of artistry I had never noticed as a kid; the opening and closing songs are memorable and catchy; Scott Bakula’s Danny is endearing, and Sawyer is quite attractive for an animated cat; and the whole movie has such a fast-paced sense of enjoyment that I can ignore most of its faults. Whether to watch with the kids or just for sheer nostalgia, Cats Don’t Dance is an unsung classic.

Best line: (Darla in film) “Yea, as you walk through your valley of despair, fear not. For I am your little Ark Angel, and I will look after each and every little, teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy one of you!”  [audience goes “awww”]  (Cranston the grumpy goat) “Shoot me.”

 

 

Artistry: 3

Characters/Actors: 5

Entertainment: 7

Visual Effects: 4

Originality: 5

Watchability: 5

 

TOTAL: 29 out of 60

 

Tomorrow: #326: Rise of the Guardians

© 2014 S. G. Liput