Dances with Wolves (1990)

08 Sunday Jun 2014

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Wounded in battle, John Dunbar decides
That suicide will be his lot.
He’s unsuccessful as blindly he rides,
Somehow inspiring both of the sides,
Till the Union has captured the spot.
 
Dunbar, a hero, is given his pick
Of posts stationed far off or near.
Choosing a place where the gunfire’s not thick,
A place where a lifestyle is vanishing quick,
He goes to the western frontier.
 
Reaching his post, he is just on his own,
And nobody knows he is there.
Writing his journal and cleaning his zone,
Having no clue how long he’ll be alone,
He simply must wait and prepare.
 
Soon John encounters the curious Sioux,
A neighboring Indian tribe.
Tentatively, they communicate through
Gifts and hand motions, and friendships ensue,
Which John is intent to describe.
 
Hand motions only can get them so far,
So Kicking Bird, one holy man,
Brings out a girl who is less like they are,
White, and who has an emotional scar.
They saved and raised her in their clan.
 
English comes slowly as Stands with a Fist,
The girl, tries to speak for her friends.
Though she at first tried to stall and resist,
Slowly she bridges the gaps that exist,
And each of them soon comprehends.
 
Coveted buffalo enter their lands,
And John assists as the tribe hunts.
Dunbar soon falls for the beautiful Stands.
Feeling this country is yet in good hands,
He lives with the Sioux as he wants.
 
Dances with Wolves is what Dunbar is named
Because of a wolf he befriends.
Soon Dunbar’s marriage to Stands is proclaimed;
John is a Sioux now and stands unashamed;
His new family he defends.
 
Winter approaches, and John will leave too,
But after retrieving his journal.
John finds the fort full of his soldiers, who
Capture him, thinking that he is a Sioux.
The good life proves far from eternal.
 
Charged as a traitor, he’ll soon meet the noose
From soldiers both callous and crass.
After he suffers their constant abuse,
John’s fellow Indians set their friend loose
And flee to a safe mountain pass.
 
John and his wife choose in sorrow to leave
To save his Sioux friends, who move on.
Dances with Wolves and his confidants grieve,
For he is sure there will be no reprieve
Till Indian ways are all gone.
_______________________
 

As Kevin Costner’s directorial debut, Dances with Wolves is an accomplishment of the highest order. It earned seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Director, Score, Cinematography, Adapted Screenplay, Sound, and Film Editing. Though Costner fell from Hollywood’s good graces for a time since then, Dances with Wolves stands as a triumph of which he can always be proud. That being said, the end of this film irritates me.

I could claim that I don’t have a problem with a film being realistic, but I suppose I do, at least when it’s done as this film was. It presents a unique lifestyle that has almost completely disappeared and remains fascinating even when the pace may seem slow. Yet it goes beyond this to make you genuinely care for various things (John’s journal, his horse Cisco, his lupine pal Two Socks), only to jerk the rug out from under you, to desecrate these elements for the sake of proving how bad the white man was. I’m not going to argue with history; I am sympathetic to the fact that the Native Americans suffered much over the years, including the loss of their way of life, but this film seems so one-sided that it feels emotionally manipulative by the end.

On the other hand, I can pick up on a number of latent issues that the film doesn’t address directly. For instance, Dunbar technically did desert his post at the fort; however good his reasons were, he was a deserter, certainly at fault in that regard.

Though the film has more obvious intentions (Sioux good, Pawnee and white man bad except for John), the main message I choose to take from the film and its historical context is the importance of prudence and an open mind. One thing that bothers me is how the soldiers shot John at first sight, not even thinking to assess his intentions. They no doubt had only heard tales of the atrocities committed by hostile Indians, which, to be fair, are also presented in the film, though not by the Sioux. Likewise, the Sioux warrior Wind In His Hair’s first reaction to John’s presence is to kill him, but Kicking Bird was wise enough to attempt diplomacy, as John was too. Attacking and asking questions later (if at all) only produced pain and heartache, but both sides’ willingness to come to a mutual understanding sparked friendship and respect.

All this discussion could have been avoided if the filmmakers had left out about twenty minutes of the soldiers’ cruelty, as well as some crude and weird elements at the beginning. The middle of the film, in which John learns the ways of the Sioux, is a pleasure to watch, even with most of the dialogue in the Lakota language. I liked the scene in which Kicking Bird is surprised when he looks through John’s telescope, since it was recycled a year later in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with Costner switching roles as the one looking shocked at this strange invention. The magnificent buffalo hunt (featuring a real buffalo herd) and the battle between the Sioux and Pawnee are wonders to behold and were both difficult and dangerous to film. Kevin Costner as Dunbar doesn’t have that much of a personality, but that’s all right since he acts as a decent everyman character through whom the audience is also exposed to the Sioux camp. Mary McDonnell is quite believable as Stands with a Fist, and Graham Greene is also excellent as the reasonable medicine man Kicking Bird.

I’ve visited Rapid City, South Dakota, where part of the film was shot, including the set for Fort Hays, and having actually seen the outdated buildings and the rolling, wide-open prairies helped me appreciate the film and its setting even more.  It may frustrate me that the soldiers in the film defile what it urges viewers to cherish, but Dances with Wolves is still a film of great historical significance that ought to be seen. Its acting, score, and historical importance make it a classic of the western genre, focusing more on the Indians than on the cowboys.

Best line: (Wind In His Hair, as Dunbar acts like a buffalo to get his point across) “His mind is gone.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 8
Watchability: 5
Other (language and aforementioned issues): -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #214 – Memphis Belle

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

07 Saturday Jun 2014

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Both Carmen and Juni are now superspies,
Esteemed for their expertise and their small size.
They’re called in to rescue the President’s daughter
When she gets in danger so her dad will spot her,
But Gary and Gerti, the Giggles, step in
And steal all the spotlight, to Juni’s chagrin.
 
A formal spy banquet gives cause for concern
When Donnagon Giggles, who’s crooked we’ll learn,
Is named the new head of the whole OSS,
When really it should have been Mr. Cortez.
Some magnetic henchmen who do not play nice
Attack and obtain the Transmooker device.
 
Though Juni is blamed for the prized gadget’s loss,
His sister, through hacking, just sidesteps their boss.
They send the two Giggles on some dirty mission
While they take a coveted new expedition.
They’re sent to an island that doesn’t exist,
But when their sub shuts down, it cannot be missed.
 
Their gadgets are useless upon this strange isle,
And after exploring and falling awhile,
They locate Romero, a scientist who
Made hybridized creatures to fill his own zoo.
These beasts run amok while their maker yet hides,
But he proves of use with the news he provides.
 
He built the Transmooker, which hides this whole isle,
And tells how to find it through many a trial.
Once they have fought skeletons, monsters, and Gary,
They get the Transmooker; it’s dangerous, very.
Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents track
Their whereabouts so they can bring the kids back.
 
At last, there’s a standoff between the two sides,
Cortezes and Giggles (Romero besides).
Though Donnagon’s winning, his daughter won’t let
Her father take over the world as a threat.
The villain is fired as OSS head,
And Mr. Cortez gets that honor instead.
Romero connects with his creatures at last,
And all the Cortezes, a team unsurpassed,
Go back home together. (The credits go fast.)
______________________
 

After the initial success of the first Spy Kids, it certainly had the potential to grow into a “keeper” of a franchise, and this sequel just confirmed that. Most people probably like the first one better, but I like Spy Kids 2 more because it ramps up the sheer coolness to new heights and leaves out the loopy weirdness of Floop for the most part in favor of more awesome weirdness.

In many ways, this film feels like Robert Rodriguez’s melting pot, in which he threw so many seemingly random elements that somehow still came together into a coherent and entertaining adventure. There are impressive gadgets, crazy theme park rides, magnet-heads, robot bugs, sea monsters, bottomless volcanoes, a mad scientist, flying pigs, Harryhausen-esque skeletons, miniature crossbreeds, giant crossbreeds, a flying wheelchair, girl power, and even Antonio Banderas’s mustache. The part with the skeletons and mind-reading does feel rather out of place, but any movie that can manage all that so successfully is quite an achievement.

Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara do just as well here as in the first film, and Steve Buscemi balances silliness and sincerity as Romero. It’s a shame that the villainous Donnagon (Mike Judge), as well as “Uncle” Felix (Cheech Marin), show so little gratitude for the fact that the Cortezes saved them from life as Fooglies in the first film. Yet Donnagon’s two children Gary and Gertie are welcome additions to the Spy Kids lineup, as are Holland Taylor and Ricardo Montalban as Ingrid Cortez’s parents. Plus, Bill Paxton looked like he was having fun in the opening scene at the amusement park.

With so much added to the franchise with this film, it’s a real shame that it degraded so quickly to Spy Kids 3-D. Journey to the Center of the Earth has many scenes clearly meant for 3-D, but it didn’t distract from the film too much. It was nice that Ricardo Montalban got more screen time, but Spy Kids 3-D was so obviously gimmicky and flimsy that its visuals and large cast could not save it from being a big disappointment for a franchise that had seemed to be getting better and better.

Even so, Spy Kids 2 stands out as another fun adventure, once again celebrating family ties. The special effects aren’t perfect but have a unique look that is sometimes reminiscent of Jason and the Argonauts. Plus, that concert at the end in which Alexa Vega sings “Isle of Dreams” is energetic, funny, and deserving of a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Good stuff.

Best line: (Gary, and later Juni) “An agent is only as good as his gadgets.” (which is subtly disproved later on)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #215 – Dances with Wolves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

The Terminator (1984)

06 Friday Jun 2014

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The future is dismal and vast:
Machines conquered Earth very fast.
The humans impede
On the bots and succeed,
But one cyborg goes to the past.
 
This buff, human-like Terminator
Is out for the blood of a waiter.
He wants Sarah Connor,
Is almost upon her,
But fails when he tries to negate her.
 
A human came too, Kyle Reese,
To not let this woman decease.
He gets her away,
But they both cause a fray,
And are captured by L.A. police.
 
The cyborg of termination
Just massacres all at the station.
Both Sarah and Reese
Seize this chance for release
And flee from the sheer devastation.
 
They go to a hotel and kiss,
Conceiving the cause of all this.
For Sarah’s son John
Will lead rebellion,
Which all the machines want to miss.
 
The cyborg finds them and gives chase,
And they run all over the place.
They blow up the bot;
It’s dead now…or not.
It now has a scarier face.
 
They take a dark factory tour
And then blow it up like before.
Reese dies from the blast,
But it’s over at last.
No, wait, half its body wants more!
 
When Sarah is done panicking,
She finally crushes the thing.
No more Terminator,
She then drives south later
And fears what the future will bring.
___________________
 

James Cameron has directed a number of great feature films and some less than great, but it all started with this one (if you ignore Piranha II). The plot combines traditional horror hunts with a surprisingly well-thought-out dystopian future and time travel to create something at once scary, thrilling, and unique, especially for 1984.

I think the main reason for its success was not Linda Hamilton as Sarah or Michael Biehn as Reese (though both do an excellent job) but Arnold Schwarzenegger, who will forever be the Terminator. If great acting involves simply being steely enough to intimidate both the characters and the audience, then the former governor of California is a master. Many critics said the role was perfect for him because he didn’t have to speak much. He’s so integral to the franchise that he’ll even be in the reboot next year.

The film itself is a thrill ride with great focus put on the car chases. My VC, who likes the film too, actually thought the chase scenes ran on rather long. The part involving Reese and Sarah’s romance in the hotel room slowed it down a bit too much, in addition to throwing in unnecessary nudity.

Overall, it is certainly an R-rated movie. There’s profanity, tons of shooting and deaths (though Cameron could have made it worse), the nudity, and that icky scene with the Terminator’s eye, which is mitigated by the fact that it’s obviously an animatronic. Yet The Terminator is also a gold standard for sci-fi fans with cool effects and some truly awesome explosions and is a definite part of popular culture. I’ve already reviewed the third one and this is the first, so all I can say for the Terminator is that he’ll “be back.”

Best line: (you guessed it; the Terminator) “I’ll be back.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual effects: 6
Originality: 10
Watchability: 7
Other (violence, language, nudity, etc.) -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #216 – Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Superman II (1980)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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Superman is back again
To keep the world on track again.
He loves reporter Lois Lane,
Who loves the hero heaven-sent
But not her coworker Clark Kent,
Not knowing they’re one and the same.
 
Paris has a bombing threat
And soon owes Superman a debt.
He lets the bomb explode in space,
Unknowingly releasing three
Kryptonians from captivity,
Who plan to rule the human race.
 
At Niagara Falls, though, Lane
Believes Clark isn’t so mundane.
She learns that he is Superman;
For their love he then commits
To sap his powers; he just quits
Freely, with no backup plan.
 
Ursa, Non, and General Zod
Take the planet and play God.
When Clark learns of this too late,
He regains his mighty powers
To defend this world of ours
From the trio full of hate.
 
When he cannot beat all three,
There’s one place that he can flee.
But Lex Luthor tells the sinners
Where to find him, so they soar
To his Fortress to make war.
There they vie to be the winners.
 
Superman, through cleverness,
Makes the villains powerless
And each wicked rogue descends.
Lois though is still upset,
Such that Clark makes her forget,
And they’re once again just friends.
Thus with fanfare, this tale ends.
_________________
 

Superman was one of the great original superhero movies, and this sequel continued its winning blend of (then) impressive visuals, memorable villains, and melodramatic comic-ness. My VC and I have always felt that Christopher Reeve was Superman, easily outdoing Brandon Routh and Henry Cavill in embodying the character. Likewise, Gene Hackman excels as Lex Luthor, though Kevin Spacey came close to hitting the mark in Superman Returns while making the character much darker than Hackman’s portrayal. Margot Kidder may not be the Lois Lane, but she’s the best one I’ve seen and does pair well with Reeve. Lastly, the three villains, Ursa, Non, and General Zod, may be one-dimensionally villainous, but they are certainly formidable opponents for the man of steel.

I’ll go ahead and say that the first film is higher on my list, mainly because this second one has some elements that bother me. Aside from some silly effects, like clothes fluttering in the “breeze” of space, Superman himself is much less vigilant than he ought to be, letting both a nuclear threat in Paris and a worldwide extraterrestrial takeover slip past him. His removal of his powers (for the sake of “love”) may be romantic, but it also seems quite selfish and irresponsible on his part, as well as Lois Lane’s. The scene where he is beaten up in a diner confirmed the issue to me. In the first film, it was clear that Superman was pretending to be the nerdy Clark Kent; in Superman II, mainly in the middle part, it seems as if Clark Kent is pretending to be Superman and failing.

Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable superhero film that may not have the spectacular effects of more recent movies (though some destructive scenes in the Metropolis battle are impressive), but the familiar characters, engaging plot, glorious score, and campy action come together to make it a classic. It’s also much better than its two sequels. I haven’t seen them, but my VC says don’t bother.

Best line (or at least the most laughable): (a Metropolis bystander, after they think Superman has been defeated by the invulnerable supervillains) “They’ve killed Superman! What are we gonna do now?” (another man) “Let’s go get ’em! C’mon, I know some judo.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #217 – The Terminator

© 2014 S. G. Liput

122 Followers and Counting

 

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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When Trevor Anderson, a failing volcanologist,
Is visited by nephew Sean, they try to coexist.
A decade earlier, Sean’s father Max just disappeared
While proving geologic theories he had pioneered.
 
They locate Max’s copy of the classic book by Verne,
A Journey to the Center of the Earth, and they discern
That Max saw seismic signals, that are present now as well,
Which sent him off to Iceland, where his brother thinks he fell.
 
Both Sean and Trevor follow where they think Max may have flown,
A closed-down institute where a young woman lives alone.
This Hannah says her father thought Verne’s book was based on fact,
And Max most likely did as well, though why is not exact.
 
She takes them to the mountain where a sensor’s activated,
But lightning traps them in a cave; their journey seems ill-fated.
Descending deeper underground, they find a vacant mine
And, after cruising in some carts, discover gems that shine.
 
The floor gives out from under them, and falling takes a while.
At last, they reach the bottom after mile after mile.
They find a giant, hidden world within the planet’s core,
Just like the book by Verne that they had not believed before.
 
Once they find Max’s body, they know danger is afoot.
The temperature is rising, and the trio can’t stay put.
They sail across the ocean; though Sean ends up blown away,
They all continue northward, having only one more day.
 
Encountering more perils, killer plants and floating stones,
Both Sean and Trevor reunite upon a field of bones.
Escaping from a T-Rex, they and Hannah hitch a ride
On a giant lava geyser that blows all of them outside.
 
The group emerge in Italy in cockamamie style,
And Sean brought back some diamonds that help make the trip worthwhile.
When Sean’s about to leave, his Uncle Trevor then suggests
Atlantis could be next on their potential list of quests.
____________________
 

Journey to the Center of the Earth is one of those special effects overloads that, unlike the Transformers films, doesn’t take itself too seriously. It was never meant to be an Oscar contender or an award winner of any kind; it’s just a flawed but all-around fun movie to watch. It’s definitely an enjoyable ride.

I suppose the main reason that my VC and I like it is Brendan Fraser. He’s a skilled and very likable actor, but his career choices have often been stinkers. In Journey, his campy but sincere acting has the right outlet, unlike George of the Jungle or Furry Vengeance. Josh Hutcherson and Anita Briem also own their roles as Sean and Hannah.

To be honest, much of this we’ve seen before. The continuous falling reminded me of a similar scene in Spy Kids 2, the mine cart is like the climax of Temple of Doom, and the dinosaur scenes aren’t that different from the likes of Dinosaur or Jurassic Park. There are also plenty of plot holes. If the temperature is rising so drastically and has done so before, how do the glowing birds survive? How can a Venus fly-trap without eyes, lungs, or a brain attack and hiss at someone? How can they do all that work, building a raft and such, without sweating much or breathing hard in 100-degree-plus heat? If she isn’t like her father, why is an attractive single lady living alone in a deserted wasteland?

Thus, this is not a film for nitpickers. It’s an entertaining and clean adventure with dazzling effects (originally intended to be seen in 3-D) and a pseudo-scientific backing. I wonder what Verne would think of it? (By the way, I don’t care to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Dwayne Johnson isn’t a good enough substitute for Fraser, in my opinion as well as my VC’s.)

Best line: (Sean, in danger, after Trevor’s mention of a rock called schist) “Oh, we’re in deep schist.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #218 – Superman II

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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#220: Pinocchio (1940)

04 Wednesday Jun 2014

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When you wish upon a star,
It can kindle things bizarre.
Like a puppet made of wood
Becoming real.
When Geppetto, cheerful yet,
Made his youthful marionette,
He pronounced his puppet good
And played with zeal.
 
When he wished he had a boy,
To delight in and enjoy,
One Blue Fairy came that night
And filled his wish.
Jiminy Cricket is assigned
So Pinocchio will mind;
He will teach the boy what’s right
And what’s wrong-ish.
 
On his first day out to school,
Young Pinocchio’s a fool;
He’s tricked by a fox and cat
To take the stage.
He performs to quite the crowd,
But to leave is not allowed.
He’ll make his boss rich and fat,
But in a cage.
 
That Blue Fairy, kind and wise,
Comes to him, but he just lies.
Though his nose extends and grows,
She helps him out.
When the puppet’s free to roam,
He is stopped while running home.
Fox and cat again impose
To change his route.
 
He instead wastes time a while,
Acting bad on Pleasure Isle,
But he’s shocked to learn the cause
Of where friends go.
When boys act their worst, alas,
Each becomes a poor jackass.
Though Pinocchio withdraws,
He’s filled with woe.
 
Back at home, Geppetto’s gone;
He is hungry, cold, and wan
Inside Monstro, a great whale
Who causes fright.
In the sea, Pinocchio
Is devoured by Monstro.
Puppet and creator hail
And reunite.
 
Though they both are in a scrape,
That small puppet plans escape.
On Geppetto’s raft, he makes
The beast lose its meal.
On a beach, the group is spilled,
But Pinocchio is killed.
Yet he offered what it takes
To now be real.
_________________
 

Pinocchio is a true classic and is widely considered to be Disney’s greatest masterpiece. You’ll find that not all of Disney’s older films are on my list, notably Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Snow White was chosen as the best American animated film by AFI and is lauded by critics today as well as when it was released, but it’s just not my cup of tea. I have no issue with fairy tale movies, the scenes with the dwarves, or the exciting end, but Snow White herself is entirely too bland, the voice acting is often grating, and the film drips sugar. I think it’s gained most of its accolades solely because it was the first full-length animated film.

In contrast, Disney’s next film Pinocchio offers some saccharine moments but is a vast step forward in character development, entertainment, and animation quality. Pinocchio himself has an actual character arc, and the villains he meets are all colorful and frightening in different ways. The beginning is overtly child-centric (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing), but the end is impressively thrilling, and everything that comes between succeeds in confirming to all bad little boys that they should listen to their parents and consciences. Considering this was only the second animated film released, Disney’s animators pulled off some beautiful pictures and amazingly fluid scenes, from the opener with all the cuckoo clocks to Pinocchio’s walk through the underwater world of Monstro.

I don’t usually think of Pinocchio as a musical, but it does have some charming ditties, including “Give a Little Whistle” and the ever-classic “When You Wish upon a Star.” I especially enjoy Pinocchio’s performance of “I’ve Got No Strings,” which predates The Sound of Music’s puppeteering version of “The Lonely Goatherd” by over twenty years. The songs aren’t on the level of Alan Menken or the Sherman brothers, but they’re memorable nonetheless.

Disney put his indelible stamp on the project and certainly “Disney-fied” the material, leaving out some darker elements from Collodi’s book, such as Pinocchio and Lampwick being tormented to death as donkeys or Pinocchio’s killing of a certain talking cricket. Though, there’s still a good amount of smoking, including by children, that wouldn’t fly nowadays. One interesting thing my VC pointed out was the film’s frequent focus on the posterior as the “butt” of several jokes. It’s certainly tame, but I wonder if back then that was perhaps the only way to “push the boundaries,” so to speak. Either way, it’s something I had never noticed before.

For all the praise I’m heaping on this film, it may seem odd that it is as low as it is on my list. It’s an undisputed classic, but I simply enjoy watching other films more. I can applaud a movie for its artistry and trailblazing, but this list is ultimately based on how I like films overall. It probably deserves better, but regardless, I admire Pinocchio as a milestone in animation that is quite watchable and enjoyable.

Best line: (the Blue Fairy) “Now, remember, Pinocchio: be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (I just like other films more): -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #219 – Journey to the Center of the Earth

© 2014 S. G. Liput

119 Followers and Counting

 

City Slickers (1991)

02 Monday Jun 2014

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When Ed has ideas for insane daring-do,
He gets his two pals Mitch and Phil to come too.
Mitch feels somehow trapped in his unfulfilled life,
And often complains to his kids and his wife.
They all soon are sick of his cynical view.
 
Phil also has problems; he’s scared of his spouse.
He’s hesitant, timid, and scared as a mouse.
His wife comes to learn that he had an affair,
Since frankly their marriage did not have a prayer;
He loses his job and is kicked from the house.
 
Ed has issues too with commitment and such,
But he has a plan for a surefire crutch:
A real cattle drive with real cattle to drive
To help them be cowboys, austere and alive.
Mitch goes, but he isn’t excited too much.
 
They meet other city folk, bound for the trail,
And Curly the trail boss, who’s tough as a nail.
They transport the herd, starting off with “Yaw hoos,”
To New Mexico with a chorus of moos.
They hope to revitalize life through travail.
 
When Mitch, making coffee, provokes a stampede,
He’s taken by Curly to find cows in need.
He’s scared of the cowboy but proves his own worth
By helping a cow have an impromptu birth.
He looks up to Curly, a now dying breed.
 
The cowpoke tells Mitch he must find his one thing
That makes life worthwhile and keeps it in swing.
Not long after that, Curly suddenly dies.
They must do without him, so rugged and wise.
The trip goes awry without his guiding wing.
 
At last, their friends scattered, it’s Mitch, Ed, and Phil
Who keep the cows moving with moxie and will.
They help cross a river, where Mitch nearly sinks
But saves the young calf he delivered (he thinks).
They all prove themselves by surviving the thrill.
 
They save the cows, but, after crossing the water,
They learn all the cattle are destined for slaughter.
So Mitch takes the calf and his old smile back.
Withstanding their crises, they’re all back on track,
And Mitch found his one thing: his wife, son, and daughter.
_______________________
 

City Slickers is yet another Billy Crystal classic with a winning mix of comedy and drama. The midlife crises of the three friends are all pretty realistic, even when handled comically, and their conversations, such as describing their best and worst days, provide welcome depth to their characters and motivations. Crystal’s typically clever banter again steals the show, and, though the film isn’t a laugh riot all the way through, it has periodic lines and moments of hilarity that make it very entertaining.

Billy Crystal and his When Harry Met Sally… co-star Bruno Kirby are always an amusing pair (Kirby hid his horse allergy very well), and Daniel Stern is equally well-cast as the adulterous Phil, who mourns how his life has gone down the tubes. But the one who earned the most critical praise and an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor was Jack Palance as the gravelly-voiced Curly, who evokes leathery toughness and rustic sagacity with his impressive if too brief performance. Also, I was surprised to see that this movie was Jake Gyllenhaal’s film debut as Mitch’s 10-year-old son.

There is some unfortunate and unnecessary profanity and sexual dialogue, but City Slickers is still a rousing and enjoyable western comedy. Plus, that calf sure is adorable!

Best line: (Curly, as Mitch is reaching into a cow to help it give birth) “What’s taking so long? Do you see the head?”
(Mitch) “Ew. I only see a tail.”
(Curly) “Oh, s***. It’s turned the wrong way. Get it out.”
(Mitch) “Uh, oh. My watch came off.”
 
VC’s best line: (Mitch, to Ed) “Ed, have you noticed that the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you’ll be dating sperm.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 8
Other (language and sexual dialogue): -5
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #220 – Pinocchio

© 2014 S. G. Liput

117 Followers and Counting

 

Steel Magnolias (1989)

01 Sunday Jun 2014

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Now this is the tale of six friends from the South,
All women with strength and a very smart mouth.
M’Lynn is the mother of Shelby, a bride,
Who knows her mom worries but takes it in stride.
There’s Truvy, a stylist who’s hired Annelle,
Whose husband just left her and put her through hell.
Then lastly Clairee, quite the gossip and teaser,
Enjoys poking fun at her grouchy friend Ouiser.
 
The wedding goes well, though it causes much stress;
There’s shooting and screams, but it’s still a success.
Though Shelby’s a known diabetic, she’s glad
To soon become pregnant; her mother is mad.
The doctors told Shelby her body’s too weak,
But Shelby rebuff’s M’Lynn’s angry critique.
Supported by friends, Shelby bears a sweet boy;
Her time with her baby is truly a joy.
 
Her kidneys, however, are worse than they’ve been,
So she gets a transplant of one from M’Lynn.
Her body can’t take it, and problems arise;
She enters a coma and quietly dies.
M’Lynn, brokenhearted, is soothed by her peers,
Who prove there are more ways to cope than just tears.
Real life marches on, caring not how we feel,
But these girls are tough, like magnolias of steel.
________________
 

Steel Magnolias is, quite frankly, the ultimate chick flick, but it is based on a play that was surprisingly written by a man. Robert Harling wrote it as a tribute to his sister, who died as Shelby did, and the deep emotions he infused into the story are certainly felt. These emotions are sad, yes, but also quite humorous. The dialogue is full of marvelous wit and cleverness and sounds very much as a group of gossipy Louisiana women should. My VC enjoys the music as well, which has just the right amount of Southern wistfulness. It’s a film that can have you giggling one moment and in tears the next. A scene toward the end exemplifies this dichotomy, suggesting that a good laugh is essential when things get too serious.

This film made Julia Roberts a gorgeous star and made Daryl Hannah ugly (at least compared with, say, Splash!). Roberts is very convincing as the stubborn diabetic Shelby, while Sally Field is equally dexterous as the justifiably worried M’Lynn. Though both deserved Oscar nominations (if not wins), only Roberts received one. The role of Truvy the neighborhood beautician fits Dolly Parton to a T, and Daryl Hannah is appropriately awkward as Annelle. My favorite characters, though, have to be Olympia Dukakis as Clairee and Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser. MacLaine especially steals every scene she’s in, and between the two of them, they receive the majority of the good lines and hilarious vignettes.

I suppose the plot mainly focuses on Shelby and her choice to have a child despite the risks, but the film belongs to all the characters. Their individual stories all melding into an entertaining slice of life are what make the film so enjoyable. There’s Tom Skerritt’s sparring with Ouiser (who’s nearly as formidable as that Alien); there’s Annelle’s newfound religiosity that annoys her friends at times; there’s Clairee’s little story for Shelby’s son that is sure to instill fear of Ouiser for years to come. It’s certainly a chick flick, but these little snapshots of life make it a darn good one.

Best line (so many to choose from): (Clairee, when grumpy Ouiser comes in) “Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today – you run over a small child or something?”

VC’s best line: (Ouiser) “I’m not crazy, M’Lynn. I’ve just been in a very bad mood for forty years!”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 7
Watchability: 9
Other (language and crude elements): -4
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #221 – City Slickers

© 2014 S. G. Liput

117 Followers and Counting

 

Fiddler on the Roof (1971)

31 Saturday May 2014

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(Try reading this poem to the tune of “If I Were a Rich Man”)
 
Back in Czarist Russia,
Tevye is a Jewish milkman with three daughters yet to wed.
Though he may be struggling and poor,
Still he keeps his family fed.
Tzeitel is the eldest;
And the matchmaker has found the perfect match, or so she thinks,
Lazar Wolf, a wealthy butcher man,
Though he is quite old and stinks.
 
Tevye goes to see him;
After going back and forth on whether to approve the match,
He assents and both then celebrate,
But there is an unknown catch.
Tzeitel loves a tailor,
Which her father learns once he has spent a night out with the bottle.
Though he’s angry at this sudden change,
He says she can wed her Motel.
 
At his daughter’s marriage,
Tevye sees his second daughter Hodel dancing with a man.
Though this shocks the many wedding guests,
He joins in because he can.
But the celebration
Is disrupted by a group of soldiers, who attack the Jews.
Mostly they harm property and such,
Yet it can’t help but confuse.
 
Later Hodel tells him
She and Perchik want to marry, though he’s leaving for a time.
They seek blessing, not his permission,
And to him, this seems a crime.
Tevye thinks it over:
Things are changing and he might as well accept love will prevail;
He consents, and Perchik leaves for town,
But he soon is sent to jail.
 
Hodel wants to join him
In Siberia and sadly leaves her father and her home.
Tevye’s sad to see his daughter go,
But he bids his child Shalom.
His third daughter Chava
Asks her father to accept her own forbidden love somehow,
But this Gentile isn’t of their race,
And this Tevye won’t allow.
 
They both wed regardless.
Tevye turns his back on Chava and regards his daughter dead.
He will only bend so very far,
Though there are still tears to shed.
Then comes even worse news:
Their town constable declares that all the Jews must quickly leave.
Anatevka must be emptied soon,
And the Jewish people grieve.
 
Tevye and his family
Leave their home to seek America but do not stay aloof.
Their tradition keeps them balanced yet
Like a fiddler on a roof.
_________________
 

Fiddler on the Roof was once the longest-running Broadway musical and certainly deserves its esteemed reputation. While Zero Mostel immortalized the role of Tevye in the original Broadway production, Topol makes the role his own in this film version, having played it in the London production as well. His monologues to the audience and to God, going on and on about what’s “on the other hand,” are absolutely masterful, and the other actors imbue their characters with just the right amount of distinctive charm. Tevye himself is an outstanding character, understanding and willing to concede for the sake of his daughters, yet, though he should certainly draw the line somewhere, it’s unfortunate that his unyielding stand involves forsaking his daughter. It’s a role of a lifetime, and, not having seen Mostel’s version, I can’t envision anyone else in the role.

The film is a first-rate snapshot of an extinct way of life, a time of poor milk men, flighty matchmakers, and rigid traditions that outlaw men dancing with women. In its details, it is also an insightful view of how Scripture can be twisted to mean whatever the interpreter may want and a touching look at how difficult relationships can still be grounded in love. I’ve never understood many people’s hatred of Jews, whether in Czarist Russia or Nazi Germany or even in the present day, and the film doesn’t try to explain the sudden pogrom forced upon the peaceful villagers; it remains as mystifying to the characters as to the audience and just as heartbreaking. This, coupled with Tevye’s rejection of his third daughter, makes the second half of the film a real downer, detracting from its entertainment value.

The best part of a musical is, of course, the music, and Fiddler on the Roof has a very unique sound. Most songs are very Yiddish and Jewish-sounding without becoming repetitive, while others are typical Broadway-style tunes. The opener “Tradition” and “Matchmaker” start the film off with the right mood, and the celebratory “To Life” is a show-stopping number that was much better than I remembered. Some songs carry a special emotional punch to them, particularly “Sunrise, Sunset,” which reflects the feelings of two parents realizing how much their children have grown. While “Tevye’s Dream” leans a bit too far in a surreal direction, the best tune of them all is the aforementioned “If I Were a Rich Man,” which is made all the more memorable by Topol’s energetic performance and rich, deep voice. The film overall has some slow parts and goes on a bit too long, but it’s a grand and humorous musical that extols tradition and its role in keeping us stable in a hectic world.

Best line: (Tevye, explaining the title with the film’s first lines) “A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But here, in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask ‘Why do we stay up there if it’s so dangerous?’ Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: tradition!”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 3
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (slow and depressing ending): -3
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #222 – Steel Magnolias

© 2014 S. G. Liput

116 Followers and Counting

 

Remember the Titans (2000)

30 Friday May 2014

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T. C. Williams High School is about to be desegregated,
All for PC reasons no one in the town is for.
When Herman Boone is named head football coach, he’s widely hated
By white men for replacing William Yoast, whom they adore.
 
Boone is black, and Yoast is white, and neither one enjoys the fuss;
Yoast could leave, but he remains to still help flinty Boone.
As the black and white team members gather for the practice bus,
They are told to sit together and to share a room.
 
Summer practice is a bear as Boone exacts a rigid pace,
Saying they must all be “perfect,” just to make the team.
Except for one, they’re distant from those of the other race,
But Boone demands they mingle, making workouts more extreme.
 
Yoast is suspect of this tactic, but it seems to do the trick.
Julius and Bertier become especially close friends.
Although they’re now a unit, eager for some butts to kick,
The town is still indignant as the summer training ends.
 
Though the Titans win some games, Boone knows he’s fired if they should lose.
Bertier is left alone by his white friends for his pal’s sake.
Yet, as the team keeps winning and the Titans make the news,
A few begin to think their enmity was a mistake.
 
While high on recent victory, Bertier endures a sudden crash
That makes him paraplegic and prevents continued play.
He watches as the Titans and their toughest rivals clash
In the final championship, in which the Titans win the day.
 
Boone and Yoast went on to coach their team for several years to come;
Bertier played in the Paralympics and won shot put gold.
Although he died in ’81, he helped his team become
A colorblind success for every high school to behold.
____________________
 

Remember the Titans is one of those inspiring football movies that everyone can root for, even though they already know the inevitably inspiring end. By mixing in the racial tension of the 1970s, the film creates a more difficult conflict to rise above than most sports films. Normally the main conflict has to do with the underdog team surmounting hardships to achieve victory in a final game. While that is certainly present, particularly in the down-to-the-minute Hollywood ending, the Titans end up winning every game they play. The real struggle is not with the opposite team but with the prevailing mindset of the day, of blacks and whites disliking and distrusting each other such that a united team seems impossible. The animosity is well-balanced between the two sides, and while the continued racism of the characters becomes increasingly frustrating as most just don’t “get” it while a chosen few do, seeing such divides fall in the wake of friendship and brotherhood can’t help but bring a smile to one’s face.

Denzel Washington gives one of his best performances as Coach Herman Boone, as does Will Patton, whom I never would have thought of as a football coach based on his subtly smooth voice in other roles (see Entrapment and No Way Out). Washington’s exchange about football being fun (or not) is a great scene that is not nearly well-known enough. I also liked Hayden Panettiere as Yoast’s football-crazed young daughter and Ethan Suplee as Louie Lastik, who seems like the only one without a shred of prejudice, and the rest of the cast fill their roles well enough, though many don’t make as much of an impression.

If you like football movies or films about overcoming prejudice, Remember the Titans is a must. I know it’s because it is a Disney film, but I applaud the fact that the filmmakers exhibited racial tension without a bunch of profanity or even using the N-word, as so many other such films do. In addition, it boasts an excellent soundtrack of ‘60s and ‘70s pop music that serves as a welcome shot of nostalgia, especially when the characters themselves start singing. In addition to the Titans’ famous theme song, I was touched at how they changed the song “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” into a poignant sendoff at a funeral. It may fool with some of the particulars of the true story it is based upon and oversimplify the issues at hand, but it shows that football, almost as much as love, faith, and the like, has the power to bring people together and break down barriers.

Best line: (Boone) “Think you got a future in football?” (Lastik) “Heck, no! I figured as long as I’m going to be in school, I might as well hit some people while I’m at it.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A (there was one car crash, but not much else)
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #223 – Fiddler on the Roof

© 2014 S. G. Liput

116 Followers and Counting