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Rhyme and Reason

~ Poetry Meets Film Reviews

Rhyme and Reason

Category Archives: Movies

Cats Don’t Dance (1997)

08 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Animation, Comedy, Musical

Danny’s a cat in the old 1930s
Who travels (by song) very far.
He leaves his small town for his Hollywood dreams
In hopes of becoming a star.
 
With singing and dancing his tools of the trade,
In no time he lands his first part
Alongside one Sawyer, a cynical cat,
And at first he does not win her heart.
 
They play the two cats in a Noah’s Ark film
With Miss Darla Dimple, the young
“Lover of children and animals,” who
By Danny is quickly outsung.
 
She calls her gargantuan butler named Max,
Who follows her every command.
He intimidates Danny to stick to “Meow,”
Engulfing the cat in his hand.
 
Yet Danny will not be deterred easily,
And, with help from a movie icon,
He tries to inspire his animal friends,
Whose colors and hopes have grown wan.
 
But Darla and Max try to sabotage them
To make sure they all know their place.
They flood the whole studio, casting the blame
On the beasts, who are banned in disgrace.
 
Then, after a long and lugubrious song,
Poor Danny decides to bounce back.
He invites all his buddies to Darla’s premiere
To get all their careers back on track.
 
As Danny’s preparing for after the film,
Max attempts to prevent his display,
But a chase on the roof puts Max on a balloon
And sends the hulk floating away.
 
When Danny and friends then announce their surprise,
A song and dance show for the ages,
Young Darla, the loud child actor from hell,
Can’t stop them, but, afterward, rages.
 
She lets out her part in the earlier flood
And is “dropped,” so to speak, in advance,
While Danny and Sawyer and all of their pals
Have proven that, yes, cats can dance.
___________________________
 

(For those still reading, thanks for sticking with me through this juvenile section of animated films.  Though I am a fan of animation, I assure you more adult fare is on its way.)

Cats Don’t Dance flopped at the box office, mainly due to very little advertisements promoting it, but it became well known in my house due to Cartoon Network’s “Cartoon Theatre.” Along with other films like Wakko’s Wish, The Iron Giant, and Balto, this film was shown over and over, week after week, until we were almost sick of it, and then it fell off our radar for years before recently resurfacing for some well-deserved appreciation.

Yes, the Warner Bros. animation is not Disney quality. Yes, several of the Randy Newman songs are rather forgettable, and Sawyer’s number is too slow and depressing. And yes, there are many unmentioned implications with the idea of anthropomorphic animals being treated as second-class citizens. Yet, despite all of these issues, the movie is fun–short, straightforward, entertaining fun. The changing of the color palette during the “Animal Jam” song was an interesting bit of artistry I had never noticed as a kid; the opening and closing songs are memorable and catchy; Scott Bakula’s Danny is endearing, and Sawyer is quite attractive for an animated cat; and the whole movie has such a fast-paced sense of enjoyment that I can ignore most of its faults. Whether to watch with the kids or just for sheer nostalgia, Cats Don’t Dance is an unsung classic.

Best line: (Darla in film) “Yea, as you walk through your valley of despair, fear not. For I am your little Ark Angel, and I will look after each and every little, teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy one of you!”  [audience goes “awww”]  (Cranston the grumpy goat) “Shoot me.”

 
 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #326: Rise of the Guardians

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

No Way Out (1987)

07 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Thriller

Lieutenant Commander Tom Farrell is at
A political ball and walks over to chat
With a beautiful woman, and banter advances
To kissing and loving, like many romances.
 
Tom learns Susan Atwell, the girl he’s gone for,
Is some politician’s well-kept paramour.
He’s also a hero when missions get hairy
And gets noticed by the Defense Secretary.
 
This David Brice chooses him as a close aide,
But later Tom learns that it’s Brice who has paid
For Miss Atwell’s “services,” such as they are.
Tom isn’t too pleased, but he’s loved her too far.
 
He takes Susan out for a lovers’ retreat
But, when she returns, who else should she meet
But Brice, who is jealous and, around twelve o’clock,
He kills her by accident, much to his shock.
 
He talks to Scott Pritchard, his true right-hand man,
Who quickly comes up with a devious plan.
They’ll implicate Susan’s unknown other lover
And hide Brice’s actions in one massive cover.
 
Scott aims all the Pentagon’s quizzical fury
At finding this man by suggesting he’s “Yuri,”
A Soviet mole they have searched for for years
And must be caught soon before he disappears.
 
Tom realizes soon he’s the man that they seek,
And he does all he can to not let the truth leak.
He’s given the reins of this investigation
And tries to escape this no-win situation.
 
It soon becomes clear Scott will use all his skill
To guard David Brice, even if he must kill.
Tom tries to prove David had also known Sue,
While slowing the quest to expose himself too.
 
When Scott, Brice, and Tom are together again,
There’s much finger-pointing among the three men.
But Scott is shocked when, after all of this fuss,
Brice is willing to throw Pritchard under the bus.
 
Scott’s plan was perfect till Tom came to foil it…
The end’s a surprise, so I won’t even spoil it.
__________________________
 

Like WarGames, No Way Out is a grand example of Cold War tensions. By updating the plot of The Big Clock, the book (and film) on which it is based, and setting it against this backdrop of international and personal intrigue, the filmmakers created a thrilling film that rises above the sum of its parts. Kevin Costner as Tom Farrell does a decent job at appearing charming in the first half and desperate in the second half, and Gene Hackman plays a good jerk in David Brice. The stand-out is Will Patton as Scott Pritchard, who loves his boss a little too much. His soft, calculating voice ranges from a little creepy in his first scenes to completely unhinged in his last. The film also has such a wonderful Sixth Sense-style twist ending that it totally changed my view of everything that preceded. I haven’t been afraid to include spoilers in my previous posts, but this is one surprise that should not be known beforehand.

No Way Out is definitely an adult film, with some steamy love scenes and a nude bar, plus some periodic foul language and shootings, all of which only detract from the film. Without these, it is still just as tense, thrilling, and fascinating.

Best line: (as Tom is being followed by a thug into the restroom) “I would rather do this myself. You can listen if you want to.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 6
Watchability: 6
Other: (language and nudity): -8
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #327: Cats Don’t Dance

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Pagemaster (1994)

06 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Animation, Fantasy

Richard Tyler is afraid,
Because he knows each risk statistic.
Since he’s wary of their treehouse,
Dad fears he’s too pessimistic.
Seeing danger everywhere,
Rich thinks he’s smart and realistic.
 
Caught one day in rain and hail,
Richard finds a library, where
He meets a strange librarian
Whose words intrigue and somewhat scare.
He gives the boy a library card,
And says there’s fun for those who dare.
 
Richard wanders through the maze
Of books and shelves and information.
Then a mural melts and turns
The boy into an illustration.
Richard meets the Pagemaster,
Who tells him of his destination.
 
Soon he also meets Adventure,
Who’s a surly living book.
Fantasy and Horror follow,
Joining Richard, and they look
For the exit of this giant,
Danger-loaded reading nook.
 
Escaping from such characters
As Moby Dick and Mr. Hyde,
Richard braves the fiction section,
With the EXIT as his guide.
Reaching Fantasy’s home aisle,
They must reach the other side.
 
As the four approach the exit,
They are ambushed by a beast,
A dragon, which ingests poor Richard,
But, by books, he is released.
Facing all his greatest fears,
Richard holds his own, at least.
 
Finally, they reach the exit,
At the end of their crusade.
Richard leaves the magic library,
Checking out the friends he made,
And his parents later find him
In his treehouse, unafraid.
_______________________
 

The Pagemaster is like Balto in combining live-action and animation to show different sections of the story. In Balto, events in the past were animated, while in The Pagemaster, it is the alternate world Richard visits. Its theme of books coming to life also seems like a precursor to Inkheart. I grew up reading juvenile versions of all the classics mentioned in this film (Treasure Island, The Hound of the Baskervilles, Gulliver’s Travels, etc.), and it was one of my favorite movies growing up, because the whole thing was like an Easter egg hunt, a challenge to find as many book references as I could. It also features many hilarious lines and a great cast, including Macaulay Culkin as Richard, Christopher Lloyd as the Pagemaster/Librarian, Patrick Stewart as Adventure, Whoopi Goldberg as Fantasy, and Frank Welker as Horror. Though Richard’s timidity and dialogue are a bit over-exaggerated, the voice actors for his book friends are absolutely perfect in their roles.

The animation and effects look a little dated, and there are some inconsistencies (What happened to the giant squid? Why are 20,000 Leagues under the Sea and Kidnapped not in the Adventure section? Why is the librarian acting so weird? Then again it is Christopher Lloyd.). Those not interested in classic fiction might not get as much out of it, but The Pagemaster certainly belongs on my list for the place of honor it held in my childhood.

Best line: (Adventure, trying to woo Fantasy) “How would you like to curl up with a good book?”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 6
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #328 – No Way Out (1987)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#330: A Goofy Movie (1995)

05 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Animation, Disney

Max is Goofy’s teenage son.
He tries to impress everyone
At school by pulling off a stunt,
All because he doesn’t want
To end up like his dad, a Goof.
And so, he does a stylish spoof
Of none other than Powerline,
The greatest rock star of all time.
 
The principal is quite irate,
But Max is glad; he has a date,
A party with his crush Roxanne.
Who seems to be his biggest fan.
But Dad has other plans in mind:
The father-son vacation kind.
Concerned for him, Dad wants to go
And fish with Max in Idaho.
 
Max rides along against his will,
But says goodbye to Roxanne still,
And lies, unsure of what to say,
And says he’s going to L.A.
To dance with Powerline on stage.
(That’s stupid, even for his age.)
Roxanne believes and bids farewell,
As Max goes on the trip from hell.
 
His dad and he don’t get along,
Although they both do sing a song.
At every stop along the way,
Max is filled with more dismay.
At last, when Max has had enough
Of all this “fun” and bonding stuff,
While Bigfoot’s on the roof (don’t ask),
He undertakes a risky task.
 
While Goofy takes a noisy nap,
His son attempts to change the map
And have their route end in L.A.
When Goofy learns of Max’s play,
He feels betrayed, but, in heartache,
Forgets to set the parking brake.
The two of them end up afloat
Atop their Pacer like a boat.
 
They come to terms, the two goofballs,
And save each other from a falls.
Then Goofy helps his son to get
On stage with Powerline. (No sweat.)
They crash the concert in mid-song,
But both of them just dance along.
At home, Max tells Roxanne the truth
And lets her meet his dad, the Goof.
_________________________
 

A Goofy Movie starts out as a musical Grease wannabe before transitioning into a hellish road movie and then ending with a finale that belongs on MTV. Ultimately, though, it is a father-son buddy movie and builds on that relationship better than its previously reviewed sequel did. While Goofy was still rather overbearing in his Extreme second film, most of his actions were fairly reasonable parental activities (making breakfast, cleaning up, urging his son to study, etc.) that Max never appreciated and eventually rebuffed a tad too harshly. In A Goofy Movie, though, Max’s embarrassment and angst are a bit more understandable, since Goofy seems to be going out of his way to force Max to participate in things Goofy should know by now that he doesn’t enjoy. Max, however, also crosses the line by lying to his dad and indeed violating his father’s trust. Since both of them bear some blame, the reconciliation at the end feels less one-sided and more genuine.

The other reason this one is higher than An Extremely Goofy Movie is that it has a number of original songs. As a fan of musicals and animation, I love when they are combined, and the film manages some nifty little musical numbers, some of which are more memorable than others. “After Today” and “I 2 I” are the best of the bunch, though “On the Open Road” isn’t bad too–after all, where else can one see a corpse dancing and singing atop a hearse alongside truckers and nuns? I especially love “I 2 I,” which is sung by the Michael Jackson-like Tevin Campbell and certainly deserves a place of honor in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

Despite all these good points, A Goofy Movie may be goofy but is not always funny. The scene where Goofy and Max visit the opossum theme park is (as Max says) “pathetic” and is not fun to watch at all. Also, the film doesn’t have nearly as many good lines as its sequel, and the animation seems inferior to me, which is a shame considering it was released in the middle of the Disney Renaissance. Still, it is worth seeing at least for the great voice acting and the catchy songs.

Best line: (Max) “I’m not your little boy anymore, Dad! I’ve grown up! I’ve got my own life now!”  (Goofy) “I know that! I just wanted to be part of it. [calmer] You’re my son, Max. No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my son.” (Cue the “awwww” from parents.)

 
Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 4
Watchability: 5
Other (songs): +3
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #329: The Pagemaster

© 2014 S. G. Liput

WarGames (1983)

04 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Thriller

The young David Lightman does poorly in class,
Yet all of his courses he does somehow pass.
He changes his grades, for he knows how to hack.
With games and computers, he has quite a knack,
So he shows off his skills to one Jennifer Mack.
 
He learns of a company in Sunnyvale
With cutting-edge games that are not yet for sale.
Employing his talent and unlawful art,
He hacks a computer that learns and is smart
And seems to desire a new game to start.
 
So David assumes that it’s simply a game
And starts one with Joshua (that is its name).
He plays a new game he has not seen before
About a worldwide thermonuclear war.
And tries, as the Russians, to win a high score.
 
But, as it turns out, “Joshua” is the WOPR,
An AI whose presence is wholly improper
To some men at NORAD; the WOPR controls
Our nuclear missiles and serves to patch holes
When men can’t be trusted in filling their roles.
 
The WOPR confuses real life and game play
And makes NORAD think there are bombs on their way.
Then Dr. McKittrick, a WOPR defender,
Realizes that Russia was not the offender,
Instead ‘twas a hacking, domestic pretender.
 
Before David knows it, he’s labeled a spy
And scooped up at once by the mad FBI.
Back at NORAD headquarters, an unmindful troop
Is ordered to guard him, but Dave flies the coop
And sneaks out of there in a random tour group.
 
With Jennifer helping his fugitive quest,
They find Stephen Falken, who knows WOPR best.
He programmed the AI and since has played dead.
He’s willing to let doom just rain on his head,
But then he decides to assist them instead.
 
They journey to NORAD, as WOPR prepares
To launch and to catch the whole world unawares.
The leaders don’t fall for what all the screens show,
And when WOPR tries launching the nukes even so,
It learns of futility through tic-tac-toe.
 
After testing scenarios, WOPR can say
That the only smart move is to not even play.
It gives up the game and control right away.
Though David caused all this, he’s helped save the day.
______________________
 

WarGames is one of those quintessential Cold War movies that features a compelling plot, decent acting, and some very clever concepts. Featuring Matthew Broderick three years before his star turn in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, the film is admittedly dated with its old DOS computers and rotary phone booth but is still just as riveting to watch. Its tale of a smart kid who is accused of being a criminal due to an artificial intelligence may have informed the plot of the previously reviewed film Summer Wars. David’s fortuitous escape from NORAD and his hacking techniques are fascinating, though illegal, and the message so overtly spelled out at the end continues to be applicable in our current world, even without the Soviet tensions of the Cold War era.

The problems with the film are mainly in its frequent profanity and the aforementioned criminal activities, which are obliquely condemned as the story shows the snowballing effects of David’s actions. All in all, WarGames is an entertaining thriller that was timely in 1983 and remains so today as well.

Best line: (speaking of Falken) (Jennifer) “He’s dead?”
(David) “Yeah, here’s his obituary.”
(Jennifer) “He wasn’t very old.”
(David) “He was pretty old. He was 41.”
(Jennifer) “Oh, yeah? Hm, that’s old.”
(I wonder how Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy feel about those lines now.) 🙂
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (language): -7
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #330 – A Goofy Movie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Balto (1995)

03 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Action, Animation

Balto’s just a wild mutt
To those who call Alaska home.
Half-wolf, half-dog, he is the butt
Of jokes and scorn all over Nome.
 
His comrade Boris, who’s a goose,
Has raised him since perhaps his birth,
And, though his warnings are profuse,
Balto wants to prove his worth.
 
He races well and angers Steele,
A lead sled dog and “glory hound,”
Who taunts his nemesis with zeal
Whenever Balto is around.
 
But Jenna and her human Rosy
Like poor Balto nonetheless.
When the two canines get nosy,
They learn Rosy’s in distress.
 
She and other kids in Nome
Have caught diphtheria, indeed.
A sled dog team must now bring home
The antitoxin that they need.
 
Steele’s the lead dog for the trek.
A blizzard causes them to stray,
Nearly brings about a wreck,
And hurts their musher, by the way.
 
As Rosy worsens, Balto goes
To find the team and be their guide,
But, when he does, he is opposed
By Steele’s resentful, selfish pride.
 
Yet Balto still does take the lead,
Though Steele attempts to get them lost.
The team braves dangers that impede
But pushes on at any cost.
 
Managing to bridge the gulf
Between his dog and lupine sides,
Balto taps his inner wolf
And proves himself the best of guides.
 
At last, the sled team makes it home,
And Balto’s hailed a hero true.
He saved the kids and proved to Nome
Just what an underdog can do.
_____________________
 

Balto, the last of Spielberg’s Amblimation films, is not nearly as well known as that other classic 1995 cartoon Toy Story, but it is still a lesser classic that I fondly remember from my childhood. The characters are rather stereotypical (the misunderstood hero, the sympathetic girlfriend, the silly comic relief sidekick, the arrogant antagonist), yet most of them are both lovable and memorable, and the voice actors bring them to life. The best aspect of the movie is its placing these familiar archetypes within the real-life story of Nome’s 1925 diphtheria outbreak and the origin of the Iditarod sled race. The stakes are set high as Rosy’s health is shown declining, and, though anyone who knows the tale will find the ending predictable, the journey is nonetheless fun and exciting. The best scene is easily the avalanche/ice cave/stalactite part, which might have provided some inspiration for similar scenes in Ice Age. Its live action beginning and end also serve to make it unique.

That being said, the story is nowhere near historically accurate (Balto was a purebred Siberian Husky and only ran part of the distance to Nome); this makes Balto one of the multiple animated films that have indulged in revisionist history, such as Anastasia, The Road to El Dorado, and Pocahontas. Though the animation is better than previous Amblin productions, like An American Tail and The Land Before Time, it was not up to Disney’s standards at the time. Despite these flaws, including some very unrealistic elements (how on earth did that medicine not break?), Balto is an adventure that can be enjoyed by the whole family and certainly has been by mine.

Best line: (Boris the goose, after a harrowing escape) “Balto, I was so scared. I got people bumps.”

VC’s best line: (Boris again, with advice) “Let me tell you something, Balto. A dog cannot make this journey alone. But maybe a wolf can.”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 4
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #331: WarGames

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Good Will Hunting (1997)

02 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Drama

The young William Hunting has a genius IQ,
But he isn’t intent on becoming a star.
He’d rather do janitor work and make do
And show up wise guys in a South Boston bar.
 
When Gerald Lambeau, a professor of math,
Puts up a problem that few men have worked,
Will solves it in secret to sidestep his wrath,
But Lambeau is more flabbergasted than irked.
 
When Will’s taken in for assaulting a man,
Lambeau has a plan that he’s glad to unveil.
If Will studies with him, as part of the plan,
And takes therapy, he won’t be thrown in jail.
 
But all of Will’s visits with therapists flop.
He’s smarter than they, as he smugly confirms.
So Lambeau, who won’t let his therapy stop,
Requests one with whom he must now come to terms.
 
A strong-willed psychologist named Sean Maguire,
Who was Lambeau’s friend till a harsh falling out,
Starts meeting with Will with reluctant desire,
And thinks he can help him, though Will has some doubt.
 
Though Will is unwilling at first to comply,
Maguire’s straight talking and patience prevail.
Because of abuse, Will is now scared to try
Uncertain relationships, since they might fail.
 
Professor Lambeau attempts all that he can
To maximize Hunting’s unbounded potential.
Jobs fall at his doorstep, according to plan,
But Will treats his future as less than essential.
 
When Will’s girlfriend leaves for the sunny west coast,
He can’t bear to follow; he’d simply prefer
Subsisting in manual labor at most.
He’d rather stay put here than chase after her.
 
First, Will forsakes Lambeau, then Sean forsakes Will.
Will cannot stand risks, even though he’s so smart.
But then his own friend says he ought to fulfill,
Not waste, his potential. Will takes this to heart.
 
When Hunting agrees to accept a good job,
Maguire and Lambeau and Will reconcile.
And once Will and Sean have a good, poignant sob,
Will follows his girl, finding risks are worthwhile.
_________________________
 

I must preface my endorsement of this movie with this fact: I have only seen Good Will Hunting once and heavily edited, and, unlike most critics and filmgoers, that is the only way I would ever suggest seeing it. As powerful a movie as it is, the frequent language (mainly the F word) greatly detracts from its enjoyment. The worst part of it is that the nearly 100 obscenities serve no purpose whatsoever. I can halfway see using such language in times of great distress, but, aside from a few emotional breakdowns toward the end, nothing at all warrants it. It’s simply presented as a part of life for these people, and it is movies like this that have unfortunately led recently to the likes of The Wolf of Wall Street and its 500+ F bombs. I think that the obscenity was added to simply degrade what might otherwise be considered a Hallmark movie.

Ignoring the language and the requisite sex scene, though, the film as a whole is excellent. The acting is superb; Robin Williams, in particular, deserved his Best Supporting Actor Oscar, and his monologue about his wife and love is one of the greatest soliloquies ever filmed. The script also, which won Matt Damon and Ben Affleck their Oscar, is extremely clever and insightful (minus the F words). If obscenity doesn’t bother you, then, by all means, view the original film; otherwise, I would certainly recommend seeing the cut version. It’s much less distracting.

Best line: (Sean speaking to Will) “You don’t know about real loss, ’cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 6
Watchability: 5
Other (language): -7
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #332: Balto

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000)

01 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Tags

Animation, Disney

College is waiting for Max, Goofy’s son,
While Daddy will miss him, he’s eager to run.
For Max cannot wait to be more than a Goof
And to get out from under his silly dad’s roof.
 
Max leaves with his friends, hardly saying good-bye,
And savors his freedom without Dad nearby.
He, P.J., and Bobby (those are his friends’ names)
Are favored while practicing for the X-Games.
 
The three also enter the envious view
Of the snooty fraternity Gamma Mu Mu,
And Max makes a wager with Bradley, their chief,
That they’ll beat the Gammas or else suffer grief.
 
Meanwhile, ol’ Goofy gets easily fired
And, with no degree, finds he cannot get hired.
Therefore, he needs college, so where should he go
But Max’s own classroom (and with an afro!).
 
Now needless to say, Max is not overjoyed,
And his father’s intrusion just gets him annoyed.
He lets his dad join with the Gammas one day,
And that, plus a girlfriend, keeps Goofy away.
 
But Max’s plan backfires when his own dad
Excels at skateboarding and makes him look bad.
They argue, and Goofy starts making mistakes
But soon bounces back, comprehending the stakes.
 
He aces his tests with both vigor and vim,
And splits from the Gammas (or they split from him).
The X-Games arrive, and, when Brad tries to cheat,
Max needs his own dad so that they can compete.
 
Despite Bradley’s minions (who wear camouflage),
The Goofs circumvent almost all sabotage,
And, even when Bradley thinks he’s in first place,
Max comes from behind him to win the whole race.
 
Brad gets his comeuppance, and Goofy gets dates,
And, after a year, Max’s dad graduates.
No longer a kid, nor his dad a buffoon,
Max and company dance to a seventies tune.
___________________________
 

Most kids’ movies have elements intentionally thrown in for the parents, cleverly disguised mature jokes or retro pop culture references that fly over the heads of most minors. Yet An Extremely Goofy Movie incorporates these features into the plot by putting Goofy himself in the place of the nostalgic parent. By depicting the generation gap between modern Max and old-fashioned Goofy, the film offers something funny and relatable for every age group.

A direct-to-video sequel to A Goofy Movie, An Extremely Goofy Movie was actually better received according to Rotten Tomatoes. With a great retro soundtrack and some good clean humor, it’s a family film that might be many children’s first introduction to 1970s culture. Some pathos is even thrown in concerning Goofy missing his son (my mom teared up one time after Max left his dad high and dry at the beginning). Plus, the voice-acting is top-notch.

Yet, one thing that does bother me (and especially my VC) is Max’s obvious disdain for the dog(?) who raised him. Granted, Goofy is a bit overbearing and certainly embarrassing, but he didn’t deserve the scorn his son aimed at him. By the end, Goofy apologizes for his faults, while Max can only go so far as to think maybe his old man isn’t so bad after all. There’s no remorse for the way he treated his dad, and, by the last scene, it’s still clear he’s eager to be rid of him. Also, the film’s depiction of college as mostly fun with some studying is unrealistic. Still, it’s quite good for a direct-to-video movie and is underrated, in my opinion.

Though it was released in 1975 and I have heard it elsewhere, the song “Right Back Where We Started From” always makes me think of this movie and the characters dancing and is definitely in the End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

Best line: (Bobby, asking a question I’m sure many have asked) “Do you ever wonder why we’re all, like, wearing gloves?”

VC’s best line: (the beret girl’s way of encouraging Max) “Max, Max, Max, admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.”

 
Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 4
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #333 – Good Will Hunting

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Nine to Five (1980)

31 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Comedy

Miss Judy Bernly, a wronged divorcee,
Is starting her job in an office today.
So Violet Newstead, who has worked there for years,
Shows Judy the ropes and deepens her fears.
She also is met by her boss Franklin Hart,
Who isn’t as nice as he seems at the start.
 
He yells at mistakes and he fires for trifles,
And all innovations he’s eager to stifle,
Except for the ones that he feels can be shown
To his boss, which he then passes off as his own.
He chases his well-endowed aide Doralee,
And, though she resists, sordid rumors roam free.
 
On a day when their boss is especially vile,
The three women leave to get drunk for a while.
Since Violet has pot, they all share it three ways,
And dream how they’d like to make Mr. Hart pay.
Shy Judy would hunt him, Doralee would hog-tie him,
And Violet would poison and gladly defy him.
 
The next day, when Hart hits his head, needing care,
Violet thinks that she may have indeed put him there.
She put poison, not sugar, in Mr. Hart’s drink,
And now he is dead, or at least so they think.
They steal the wrong body and wig out a bit,
But Hart’s fine the next day, until they admit,
 
In the bathroom, what happened, and Hart then is told.
Their “murderous plot” he will gladly withhold
From police, if Miss Doralee comes out and plays,
But all three have had it with Hart’s heartless ways.
Their visions come true, as they tie up the jerk,
And bind him at home to restrain him from work.
 
Their actions so far were impulsive and flawed,
Till they find evidence that Hart’s knee-deep in fraud.
They keep him imprisoned beneath his own roof
For multiple weeks while they wait for their proof.
The three, in the meantime, change things in Hart’s name:
A day care, job sharing, a whole lot less blame.
 
When Hart’s wife sets him free, their whole plan’s all but failed.
He hides his fraud well and cannot be blackmailed.
Back in at the office, Hart’s frightened and floored
When he gets a rare visit from the chair of the board.
He likes the new office and thinks that Hart led it,
So Hart once again gets the blame – I mean, credit.
 
Hart gets a promotion, against his own will,
A job in the jungle somewhere in Brazil.
The girls are ecstatic; the office is free,
And all (except Hart) live and work happily.
______________________
 

Nine to Five is a workplace comedy that feels familiar in many ways. It combines the underdog-vs-boss storyline of Working Girl with the musical getting-ready opening scenes and the overwhelmed newbie coming into her own from The Devil Wears Prada. It has a predatory bathroom scene like that in Witness. The snitch Roz reminds me, for all the world, of Randall/Ms. Finster from the cartoon Recess, constantly reporting to Principal Prickly (coincidentally voiced by Dabney Coleman, who played Mr. Hart). Yet Nine to Five was released in 1980, long before any of these examples.

It is funny throughout, but the stand-out scenes are the girl’s fantasies of getting rid of their boss, which can’t help but elicit cheers, laughs, and serves-you-rights. Violet’s dream even combines live action and animation, acting as a connection between Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

There are some negatives, though, mainly the surprising amount of profanity for a PG-rated movie. Not being a fan of the pot revolution, I also don’t care for the cause of the women’s murderous reveries: a shared joint, which is presented as a guilty pleasure with no consequences rather than a vice or an addiction. Still, except for these, it’s a girl power comedy that should appeal to anyone who has ever had a horrible boss. You can also add Dolly Parton’s Oscar-nominated song “9 to 5” to my End Credits Song Hall of Fame.

Best line: (in Dolly Parton’s dream of vengeance) “Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Whoa, she’s already got him! Now, let’s see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds! Just five seconds!”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (language and drugs): -7
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #334: An Extremely Goofy Movie

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Perfect Storm (2000)

30 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by sgliput in Movies

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Action, Drama

The sea’s fed and fostered the brave men of Gloucester,
Who sail out to harvest its plenty,
But the ocean has claimed several thousand strong names
And has left many families empty.
 
They’re stories worth telling, both sad and compelling,
But there’s one that stands out as a tale.
Six seamen were drowned and their bodies not found
In the wreck of the Andrea Gail.
 
Ol’ Captain Bill Tyne is not like a fine wine,
Bringing in less and less as he ages.
All his friends say too much that he’s losing his touch,
And his crew isn’t keen on their wages.
 
So both Tyne and his men plan to set out again:
Bobby Shatford, whose girl tends to worry,
Murph and Sully are there, as is Alfred Pierre,
And, with Bugsy, they leave in a hurry.
 
Their efforts don’t fly, and their tensions run high,
As a shark, then an accident spooks them.
Sully saves Murphy’s life, though he stole Murphy’s wife.
When they want to turn back, Tyne rebukes them.
 
They almost leave the map for the famed Flemish Cap,
Where both swordfish and jeopardy flourish.
As their fortunes emerge, three storm systems converge
And on warm Gulf Stream waters are nourished.
 
The swordfish abound; the ice maker breaks down,
So they must make a choice now together:
Let the fruit of their toil just sit out and spoil
Or attempt to sail home through the weather.
 
Wishing no more to roam, they decide to head home,
And the hurricane soon crashes around them.
They drive through the night, and yet, try though they might,
By morning, the tempest has drowned them.
 
Their friends grieve together, will miss them forever,
Will honor their fruitless travail.
Their memory survives, though they all lost their lives
In the wreck of the Andrea Gail.
______________________
 

The Perfect Storm is a disaster film that, while not as cataclysmic as many other such movies, focuses on the main six lives that were lost when the Andrea Gail sank below the Atlantic. While these six men are all flawed, they seem genuine in their actions and relationships (though Bugsy’s appeal to that single mother is inexplicable), and the eulogy at the end is truly touching. However, The Perfect Storm, like Witness, also lovingly presents a way of life that seems foreign to outsiders like me. While I would not want to be part of that world of sailing and fishing, I can still admire the unsung heroes who work so hard to bring in fish that most of us take for granted.

It’s not a perfect disaster film, in part because it tries too hard to show the extent of the disaster. My poem makes no mention of the three-person crew of the Mistral or the Air National Guard helicopter that comes to rescue them. These scenes present how the storm affected more than just the Andrea Gail, but they also distract from the six people that are otherwise the center of the movie. The Coast Guard scenes drag on a bit too long, and I can’t help but feel that they were added just to make the film longer. This, plus the strong sexual innuendo and frequent language that are probably not as bad as on most sailing vessels, detracts from what is otherwise a film with great acting and special effects. It’s just a shame that those men lost their lives just trying to make a living.

P.S. Try reading the poem to the cadence of Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Best line: “I’ll be asleep, and all the sudden there he is, that big smile. You know that smile. And I say, ‘Hey, Bobby – where you been?’ but he won’t tell me. He just smiles and says, ‘Remember, Christina: I’ll always love you; I loved you the moment I saw you; I love you now; and I love you forever. There’s no goodbyes – there’s only love, Christina; only love.’ Then he’s gone. But he’s always happy when he goes so I know he’s got to be okay – absolutely okay.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (innuendo and language): -7
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #335 – 9 to 5

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

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