Monthly Archives: July 2014

Funny Girl (1968)

11 Friday Jul 2014

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(Best sung to “Don’t Rain on My Parade”)
 
When Fanny Brice was just a show-biz starter,
She couldn’t be a chorus girl, but smarter;
She had the voice to make the audience acclaim.
Though like a bagel compassed by bialys,
She was a starlet in the Ziegfeld Follies.
She made the people laugh and earned the highest fame.
 
Quite early on, she meets a handsome mister.
This Nicky Arnstein just wants to assist her,
But over time their love inevitably grows.
When he must leave to catch a ship and gamble,
She follows him and dumps her show to ramble
With him, the man who’s glad to see her and propose.
 
They’re glad together for a time, but Nicky
Runs out of luck, and earning money’s tricky.
Yet Fanny’s still the star of Ziegfeld’s latest show.
Increasingly, he can’t provide the bacon;
He feels his confidence and pride are shaken;
And he will not accept the help she can bestow.
 
This streak of bad luck—Nick cannot crack it,
So he decides to join a bond scheme racket.
He goes to jail for eighteen months, and they both part.
Though Fanny still may love her former wooer,
They both decide to start their lives the newer
By separating, but Miss Brice still sings her heart.
______________________
 

Funny Girl was Barbra Streisand’s first film, based off the Tony-nominated Broadway show she headlined, and it’s the film that won her the Academy Award for Best Actress (albeit tied with Katharine Hepburn for The Lion in Winter). The role of Fanny Brice suits her just as much as that of Dolly Levi, both strong Jewish women (at least as played by Streisand), and, though it entails her being self-conscious about her looks, her comedic and vocal talents are given great opportunity to shine.

Omar Sharif is also as “gorgeous” as ever as the charming gambler Nick Arnstein, who helps Fanny early in her career. Sharif certainly sells the character, but Arnstein is an unfortunate example of pride gone awry. Ignoring the fact that he seduces Fanny and only marries her at her suggestion, the way he handles his poor luck is frustrating to me. It’s usually admirable when some poor movie father says he won’t accept charity but will rather earn his own money, but I think most such fathers would take the contribution before turning to illegal activities. Nick was given a chance to finally have a somewhat stable career, and he turned it down because his wife was helping to finance it. That’s not even charity; it’s simple sharing! For him to knowingly commit a crime and desire divorce is perhaps not as fatal as the actions of Norman Maine in A Star Is Born, but it does show that his own pride trumped his love for Fanny. But I digress….

While the unsatisfying end and the rather long running time detract somewhat, the music makes up for it. Many songs were omitted from the stage production, but several show-stopping numbers just had to be included. Of course, Streisand’s rendition of “People” is quite popular, but “His Love Makes Me Beautiful” is a hoot. I actually prefer the more upbeat songs “I’m the Greatest Star” and “Don’t Rain on My Parade.” The lyrics are all clever, and the final notes are awe-inspiring.

Like Hello, Dolly, Funny Girl is not my favorite musical, but it’s a great mixture of drama, comedy, and music that meshes beautifully, mainly due to Streisand’s performance. While the last song “My Man” may finish it on a high note, I do wish the film overall ended more happily.

Best line: (Fanny, speaking of Nick) “I see him as he is. I love him as he is!”   (her mother Rose) “Fanny, love him a little less. Help him a little more.”

VC’s best line: (Fanny, explaining how she’s different) “I’m a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 7
Other (great music and singing): +3
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #181 – Something the Lord Made

© 2014 S. G. Liput

153 Followers and Counting

 

Have a Little Faith (2011)

10 Thursday Jul 2014

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A eulogy seems like a difficult chore
For newspaper writer Mitch Albom, who’s sore
Toward any religion; this eulogy’s for
His childhood rabbi named Al.
The rabbi is friendly and kind all along
And often breaks out into jubilant song,
His sermons make his congregation feel strong,
And Mitch grows to be a close pal.
 
Although he had feared Albert Lewis when young,
Mitch quickly is charmed by his clever old tongue
And the warmhearted ways that his greetings are sung
And shares many visits for years.
Meanwhile, in Detroit, Albom happens to meet
A black pastor helping those out on the street.
Though his shabby church has no light and no heat,
His whole congregation still cheers.
 
But this Henry Covington has had a past;
He once was a drug dealer, living life fast.
All his offenses leave Albom aghast,
Yet here Henry is, a changed man.
When he was most desperate, oppressed by mistakes,
God helped him survive, Henry setting the stakes.
He then made a promise that he never breaks,
To serve God as long as he can.
 
A hole in the roof causes Henry much stress,
And Mitch wants to help but is nervous, I guess,
That Henry might be tempted still and regress,
But Henry proves he is reformed.
Mitch then puts the word out for charity aid,
And soon Henry’s church is quite nearly remade.
The roof hole is fixed, and the bills are all paid;
The building’s now well-lit and warmed.
 
Eight years after Albert, the teacher most wise,
Asked distant Mitch Albom to please eulogize,
The ninety-year-old singing rabbi then dies,
Having strengthened the uncertain Mitch.
And Henry as well, having won much affection,
Whose life was recycled by God’s wise direction,
Went home to the Lord till the next resurrection,
A soul God employed to enrich.
______________________
 

Following up the Hallmark-like The Ultimate Gift, here’s a real Hallmark Hall of Fame movie based on Mitch Albom’s book, which featured real-life conversations with his old rabbi and a Protestant pastor. As inspiring as it is faith-building, the film proves how powerful television movies can be. As the film goes back and forth between the homespun Jewish wisdom of Rabbi Lewis and the touching salvation story of Pastor Henry Covington, the audience gets to know them as characters just as Mitch Albom did, gradually.

Martin Landau is especially convincing and likable as the elderly rabbi, and Laurence Fishburne is also excellent as Henry, portraying him in both his free-wheeling, drug-ridden days and his devoted, repentant later life. Even though the film got no nominations, I thought both of them deserved an Emmy for their performances. Bradley Whitford is all right as Mitch, although his dense misunderstanding of religion borders on frustrating at times. I know he’s a non-practicing Jew, but even most non-believers can agree on someone’s ability to change their own life.

I think Have a Little Faith is an overlooked gem that deserves its Hallmark Hall of Fame status. It’s realistic yet restrained, instructional yet not preachy, dramatic and sweet yet not overly so. It’s a portrait of two men worth admiring, the kind of quality television most channels have ceased making.

Best line: (Mitch, to Rabbi Lewis) “Do you believe in God?”   (Rabbi) “Yes. Occupational hazard.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60

 

Next: #182 – Funny Girl

© 2014 S. G. Liput

153 Followers and Counting

 

The Ultimate Gift (2006)

09 Wednesday Jul 2014

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When rich Red Stevens meets his end,
His family does not regret.
They only care what he’ll extend
To them within the will he set.
 
He gives them limited control
And nowhere near what they desire.
The rest is missing as a whole,
Perhaps for one who will aspire.
 
To Jason Stevens, Red’s grandson,
Whose father died he knows not how,
Red gives a challenge that, if won,
Will grant the most he can endow.
 
Since Jason is a spoiled punk
Who hopes for something still to gain,
He flies to Texas in a funk,
As Red’s will stipulated plain.
 
Unlike the simple gift he thought
He would receive when set down,
He’s told to work and toil a lot
Upon a ranch some hours from town.
 
Eventually, he gets the gist
And digs fence posts for many miles,
But when he’s finished and dismissed,
There is no gift for all his trials.
 
He got, it seems, the Gift of Work,
And soon the Gift of Problems comes.
He sees that every “friend’s” a jerk
When he’s made poor and joins the bums.
 
He has to find just one true friend,
A gift that is in short supply.
Then he finds someone to defend,
Although he’s now a homeless guy.
 
Alexia and daughter too
Named Emily are grateful so
The young girl says their friendship’s true,
Although they met not long ago.
 
He ditches them, but soon he learns
That Emily is bound to die.
Her cancer sparks his own concerns,
And Jason pays their rent, though high.
 
Alexia, touched by this act,
Agrees to share his Thanksgiving,
Thanks to her daughter, who, in fact,
Wants them to pair up while she’s living.
 
The Stevens family dinner goes
Downhill because of pride and greed.
When Jason sees their moral lows,
He sees himself and can’t proceed.
 
The next gift in Red’s repertoire
Is that of Learning things through pain.
To do that, Jason must withdraw
And go someplace to find a plane.
 
In Ecuador, his father crashed,
And Jason always had blamed Red.
With this real story now rehashed,
He misses more those Stevens dead.
 
When Jason’s captured by cartels,
He thinks his life’s about to end,
But he escapes them and dispels
The worries of his new-found friend.
 
Alexia and Emily
Are glad he’s back, albeit late,
But even now that he is free,
Both death and heartache still await.
 
When all his challenges are through,
He’s given millions from Red’s will,
But there is something he can do
For those like Emily, still ill.
 
When he presents expensive plans
For family homes for those in need,
He feels at last he understands
How he can help and intercede.
 
But Emily soon goes to heaven,
Leaving Lexi in good care.
For now the ultimate gift is given:
Jason’s ready to be heir.
________________________
 

Watching the greedy excesses of the rich and infamous has become a favorite pastime for many television viewers lately. With all the Kardashians and “Housewives” and such out there, I’m sure plenty of people would love to see them taught a lesson. While Bobcat Goldthwait wanted to gun them down in his atrocious black “comedy” God Bless America, I, for one, much prefer the reformation portrayed in the Hallmark-esque The Ultimate Gift.

James Garner is the heart of the film as the deceased Red Stevens, who teaches his grandson the deeper life lessons that his privileged upbringing could not. His recorded messages throughout the movie may be reminiscent of Brewster’s Millions, but they help tie the film and its lessons together. Drew Fuller as Jason is a bit too blank-faced to be really compelling for most of the film (Nick Stahl or Chris Pine could have done just as well), but Abigail Breslin gives a touchingly precocious performance as young Emily. The lovely Ali Hillis is also quite good as Alexia, but for me the film’s main appeal, like its lessons, belong to the older generation: Garner, Bill Cobbs as his aged lawyer friend Mr. Hamilton, Lee Meriwether as Miss Hastings, and Brian Dennehy as hard-working rancher Gus.

Many critics were, well, critical of how the film pushed its good-for-you values on both characters and the audience, but when those lessons are this universal, I don’t mind. It’s satisfying to see a spoiled playboy like Jason stripped of everything he thought was valuable, only for him to get it back and more with a very different viewpoint and appreciation. Both he and Emily act almost as guardian angels for Alexia, and their interactions are both believable and sweet.

I will say that the whole part in Ecuador, while heightening the drama, is so different in tone and setting from the rest of the film as to seem out of place. Another thing I do wonder is how the apples fell so far from the tree. I know that the second generation rarely equals the tycoons who earned them all their money, but Red Stevens seems so down to earth, wise, and prudent that I can’t help but wonder how his kids turned out so greedy and ungrateful. There’s another movie higher on my list with a similar problem, but here there is at least the hope that Jason, as the next Red Stevens, will run his empire much better than any of Red’s children would. The Ultimate Gift isn’t just the fortune Jason inherits but the experience to use it wisely.

Best line: (Jason, to Emily about a statue of Jesus; a good example of the film’s unobtrusive religiosity) “I don’t know much about God or Jesus, but I can promise you those arms are meant for you.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
Other (lessons everyone should learn): +4
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #183 – Mitch Albom’s Have a Little Faith

© 2014 S. G. Liput

152 Followers and Counting

 

Spaceballs (1987)

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

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When Planet Spaceball needs some air,
Its leader Skroob intends to dare
To steal it from the Druids’ planet.
It can’t get more absurd, now can it?
Wait, it can, a Druish bride
Named Princess Vespa can’t abide
Her sleepy groom; she’s unafraid
To leave with Dot Matrix, her maid.
 
Her father calls the rogue Lone Starr,
To save her (and her nice space-car)
From Dark Helmet and Spaceball One,
A ship that they cannot outrun.
Lone Starr, along with friendly mutt,
Is in debt to Pizza the Hutt,
So for a price, Lone Starr agrees
And rescues her, which sparks unease.
 
When Dark Helmet goes way too fast,
He goes to plaid and whizzes past.
But Lone Starr’s gas runs out too soon,
And they crash on a desert moon.
Though bride and rogue despised each other,
They start to flirt till Dot plays mother.
They meet old Yogurt, who purports
To know the power of the Schwartz.
 
He shares with Lone Starr much advice,
Such as his plans for merchandise.
With help from Spaceballs’ VHS,
Dark Helmet searches with success.
He kidnaps Vespa, using her
To force her daddy to defer
And give his world’s defensive code
To save the nose job he’d bestowed.
 
Then Spaceball One (to serve the plot)
Transforms into a maid. Why not?
The Druids lack time to prepare
As those Spaceballs suck up their air,
But Lone Starr rescues Vespa’s head
And makes the sucker blow instead.
He journeys through the Mega Maid
And finds the self-destruct (clichéd).
 
He fights Dark Helmet comically,
But wins and then is quick to flee.
The maid explodes (well, most of it),
And Vespa’s back to wed a twit.
But after dinner and a show,
Lone Starr is told he’s royal so
He interrupts to wed the bride,
And they fly off in his sweet ride.
_________________
 

One of the best parody films ever, Spaceballs was Mel Brooks’ response to Star Wars, Alien, Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, The Wizard of Oz, the 1986 animated Transformers: The Movie, and any other science fiction film you can think of. Almost every line of dialogue is a joke, and almost every one is funny. Add that to some hilarious cameos, such as Mel Brooks himself as Skroob and the noise-production guru Michael Winslow (who reportedly saved Brooks money on sound effects), and you’ve got a cult classic in the making.

The acting isn’t the best, nor are the visual effects, but I bet that was intentional to heighten the humor. Bill Pullman came to prominence through his starring role as Lone Starr (he wasn’t even promoted on the film poster), and other roles are hilariously filled by John Candy, Daphne Zuniga, Joan Rivers, Dick Van Patten, and the ever-funny Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet. The funniest scene in the whole movie for me is the Alien spoof near the end, which is made more amusing by the presence of John Hurt, who had previously been involved with Brooks in History of the World, Part I and The Elephant Man.

The main reason Spaceballs isn’t higher on the list is its frequent language and crudities. From phallic jokes to insults used as names, these gags are funny in some ways, but they detract from the film’s appeal. Kids probably wouldn’t even get most of the clever references to other films, but Brooks ensured that it wasn’t appropriate for them in the first place.

Still, barring the double entendres, Spaceballs is a must-see for science fiction fans, especially those of Star Wars. There are too many sight gags, puns, and fun antics to spoil them all, and I don’t want to try. I dare you not to laugh.

Best line: (Dark Helmet) “Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.”
(Lone Starr) “What?”
(Dark Helmet) “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”
(Lone Starr) “What’s that make us?”
(Dark Helmet) “Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.”

 

Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 10
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 10
Other (language and crude jokes): -4
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #184 – The Ultimate Gift

© 2014 S. G. Liput

150 Followers and Counting!

 

The Way (2010)

07 Monday Jul 2014

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Santiago de Compostela
Waits for pilgrims crossing Spain,
Journeying on El Camino,
But their trek is not in vain.
 
Hikers through the centuries
Have walked the many-mile trail,
Ending at the tomb of St. James
After braving much travail.
 
Thomas Avery is told
His son died in the Pyrenees,
So he flies to claim the corpse,
Though he and Daniel weren’t at ease.
 
Daniel wished to see the world,
Including this, the famous Way.
Now that he is only ashes,
Thomas has a debt to pay.
 
As he carries Daniel’s pack,
He sprinkles ashes as he goes,
Feeling Daniel still is near him,
Nearer than the lives they chose.
 
Early on, he meets a Dutchman,
Joost, who’s hiking to lose weight.
Eating, chattering, smoking drugs,
Joost cannot help but irk his mate.
 
Soon they separate, but Thomas
Meets a girl Canadian, eh.
Sarah seems extremely angry,
Unlike most who walk the Way.
 
She is trying quitting smoking,
Which she’ll slough off at the end,
But until then she’ll keep lighting
While avoiding any friend.
 
Joost and Sarah and old Thomas
End up trekking as a group.
Thomas, though, keeps wholly silent,
Marching like an army troop.
 
Then they meet an Irish writer,
Jack, who suffers writer’s block.
He is hoping inspiration
Just might find him on this walk.
 
Briefly, Sarah opens up
To Tom enough to introduce
Guilt about a past abortion
And her husband’s cruel abuse.
 
Joost and Jack seem always merry,
But when wine is passed around,
Thomas gives his full two cents,
Insulting these comrades he found.
 
Feeling guilty afterward,
He lets Jack write his journey’s tale,
And they continue, heading west
Along the ever-winding trail.
 
Most they meet along the Way
Are friendly (one a little mad),
But when they reach the town of Burgos,
Tom’s pack’s stolen by a lad.
 
There is little they can do,
For Gypsies all of them despise,
But the young man’s father comes,
Returning to apologize.
 
With his pack, Tom journeys on,
Continuing with Dan’s remains.
Near the end, he gifts his friends
With luxury for all their pains.
 
At last, they reach the great cathedral,
Where so many have arrived.
During Mass, they all look on
With hope and faith perhaps revived.
 
Goals they set may not have happened,
But they journey to the sea.
Thomas empties Daniel’s ashes
And keeps up his odyssey.
_________________
 

A coworker of mine once criticized the Lord of the Rings movies for having way too much walking, but that’s what a quest is for. It’s what happens during the walk that matters. The Way received little fanfare upon its release in 2010, but when my family heard about it, we decided to go see it on Halloween night (since I was too old for trick-or-treating by that time). Most people watch horror movies at that time of year, but this was much more inspiring.

The film was the brainchild of Emilio Estevez, who directed, produced, wrote, and starred in the film as the deceased Daniel. Inspired by Martin Sheen’s own journey with Estevez’s son, who met his future wife on the Camino, the film isn’t melodramatic or overly sentimental. Martin Sheen evokes a father’s pain at the loss of his son in very realistic ways, clamming up, yelling when his inhibitions are lowered, feeling he must take this journey but wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. All the other characters likewise seem very authentic, not fitting into a tired Hollywood archetype. Yorick van Wageningen, Deborah Kara Unger, and James Nesbitt are quite convincing as Joost, Sarah, and Jack, all of whom have quirks that clearly irritate Tom but aren’t enough to make them unlikable as characters. They’re the kind of traveling companions one would hope to find on such a journey. (By the way, if it wasn’t for this film introducing me to James Nesbitt, I would be totally unfamiliar with the thirteen dwarves in The Hobbit. He played Bofur and was at least one face I could recognize.)

The entire film was shot on the actual Camino, with all the walkers being real pilgrims, aside from the main actors. This heightens the authenticity but doesn’t detract from the artistry. Estevez’s skillful camerawork frequently focuses on a close-up of something, whether meaningful or insignificant, and then switches to a wide shot showing the enormity of the Camino and the surrounding countryside. The little character moments along the way range from funny to touching, and the final outcome for the travelers’ reasons for walking the Camino is more realistic than most Hollywood fare. It also presents Gypsies in a more sympathetic light than I think many Europeans would.

The final scene in the cathedral is not only fascinating (there’s a giant thurible called Botafumeiro that swings incense throughout the entire church) but also especially moving and brought my VC to tears. Estevez claimed he wanted to make a film that could appeal to everyone, “pro-people, pro-life, not anti-anything,” and I think he succeeded. The religious elements can appeal to Christians (though Catholicism technically forbids the spreading of ashes), but there’s enough cynicism and character-driven drama to captivate everyone else. It makes me want to perhaps walk the Camino myself one day. Who knows?

Best line (a frequent excuse for not doing things in life): (Tom) “Have you ever walked the Camino, Señora?”   (Spanish woman in the stamp office) “No. When I was young, I was too busy, and now that I’m older, I’m too tired.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 9
Watchability: 8
Other (brief language): -1
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #185 – Spaceballs (now for something completely different)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

150 Followers and Counting!

(Thanks to everyone reading out there!)

 

Frozen (2013)

06 Sunday Jul 2014

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The kingdom of Arendelle has two princesses,
Elsa and Anna. The former distresses
Her parents with powers she cannot control,
Which conjure up ice from the depths of her soul.
When Elsa hurts Anna, they visit a troll.
 
The lead troll heals Anna but fools with her mind
To leave memories of ice powers behind.
The monarchs shut Elsa up, locking each door
And don’t give her access to sis anymore,
While Anna’s confused why things aren’t as before.
 
The two girls grow up, and the king and queen die,
Leaving Elsa alone to conceal her cold lie.
The day when Queen Elsa is due to be crowned,
A whole flood of royals and guests is inbound.
Unlike Elsa, Anna is thrilled they’re around.
 
When she meets Prince Hans, it is love at first sight.
No, literally, they seek marriage that night,
But Elsa is skeptical and won’t permit
A marriage so rushed; Anna’s flustered a bit.
In front of a crowd, she makes Elsa lose it.
 
Her powers revealed, Elsa heads for the hills,
Building castles and singing a song that gives chills.
The people are fearful for snow’s falling fast…
In summer and who knows how long it will last?
So Anna rides off through the wintry blast.
 
She meets smelly Kristoff, a man who sells ice.
He becomes Anna’s guide, though she has to ask twice.
Encountering wolves and a living snowman
Named Olaf, who craves summer days and a tan,
They head up the mount with not much of a plan.
 
When Anna begs Elsa to stop the storm now,
Her sister freaks out, for she doesn’t know how.
By accident, Anna is struck in the heart,
So Elsa, still fearful, makes Anna depart.
In Anna, Kristoff sees a chilly change start.
 
They go to the trolls, who raised Kristoff with pride.
They say Anna’s heart will soon freeze from inside.
She needs some true love, which means Hans (so they think);
She just needs a kiss to come back from the brink,
But Hans then comes out as a liar and fink.
 
Although he brought Elsa back home in a chain,
He wants them both dead so that he can now reign.
Leaving Anna to die, Hans tries killing her sister,
But Anna steps in, knowing Kristoff’s her mister,
And freezes rock solid since nobody kissed her.
 
Her own sacrificial love brings Anna back
And helps Elsa see love is what she may lack.
This aids her control so that people don’t fear,
And Anna loves Kristoff, who’s rough but sincere.
The doors are now open, and skies are all clear.
____________________
 

Last year’s Frozen was an unforeseen megahit that eventually surpassed Toy Story 3 as the highest grossing animated film, and it just recently dropped out of the global box office top 10. A welcome return to the musical princess genre for which Disney is famous, Frozen perhaps fed the hunger that family audiences had for new but familiar quality. It’s certainly a great fairy tale with gorgeous animation, catchy music, and (mostly) likable characters.

All that being said, I can’t help but point out some issues that detract from it and make its gargantuan success a tad puzzling. The actual storyline is innovative in its inclusion of two princesses, but Anna is a much better realized character than Elsa. I can sympathize with Elsa’s fear of herself, but that’s about it. All the characterization is given to Anna, while Elsa seems pretty directionless. What was she doing in that castle she constructed, just wringing her hands in worry? And the ultimate resolution is too rushed: just “love” and boom, she has perfect control over the powers she spent a lifetime repressing.

I also take issue with the character of Hans. The filmmakers tried so hard to make him seem like a nice guy that his sudden reversal was too out-of-nowhere. I mean, if he wanted to kill Elsa anyway, why didn’t he just let the Duke’s guards shoot her instead of valiantly rescuing her for no reason? I like the story, but I was expecting some different directions. Perhaps Hans could have been left as a good guy and paired with Elsa. I would have preferred that kind of reversal. I liked Anna’s sacrifice at the end, but it did remind me somewhat of the finale of Pokémon: The First Movie. I also thought that Anna may have hidden warming powers to offset Elsa’s, but no. Oh, well, maybe in the sequel.

After the previous two paragraphs, it might sound as if I dislike the film overall, but that’s not true. It’s a flawed tale but one I still very much enjoy viewing. Anna and Kristoff make a good pair, and though I was prepared to be annoyed by Olaf the snowman, I actually liked him more than I’d expected. The CGI animation is absolutely gorgeous, setting a new high for non-Pixar films.

Plus, the music is first-rate, even if it’s not from Alan Menken. The first song about ice is rather forgettable, but “Love Is an Open Door” and “For the First Time in Forever” are both excellent starting numbers. When I first heard the Oscar-winning song “Let It Go” on YouTube, I knew I had to see this movie. It’s Disney’s best song in years, and I’m sure most have seen at least one of the hundreds of parody videos out there for it. My VC also very much liked the “Fixer Upper” song by the trolls, even if they seem like an afterthought as characters.

Frozen may not be up there with Disney’s Renaissance classics of the ‘90s, but it’s not the worst (The Princess and the Frog didn’t make my list). It’s memorable, quality family entertainment. Let’s hope Disney will take the hint and not let the princess genre die.

Best line: (Olaf, singing) “Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle / But put me in summer and I’ll be a… [pauses in front of a puddle] …happy snowman!”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (aforementioned issues): -4
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #186 – The Way

© 2014 S. G. Liput

148 Followers and Counting

 

Twister (1996)

05 Saturday Jul 2014

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When Jo was a cute little girl,
She witnessed the wind in a whirl.
Her father was trying
To help but went flying
When deadly gusts started to swirl.
 
Grown up, she now studies the weather
Which treats a large truck like a feather.
Her split husband Bill
Used to share in her skill;
They both used to chase storms together.
 
But now he is seeking divorce,
With his new fiancée, but of course.
Melissa seems nice,
Giving carnal advice,
But Jo doesn’t rush to endorse.
 
Then Bill learns of Jo’s latest cause,
A system improving what was,
Some sensors to map
A tornado death-trap;
It’s called DOROTHY, like in Oz.
 
Bill further learns Jonas is near,
His rival who’s less than sincere.
He’s copied for free
Bill’s idea: DOROTHY.
And Bill won’t let him pioneer.
 
So while Oklahoma begins
To waken with whirligig winds,
Melissa and Bill
Tag along for a thrill
To watch as a great tempest spins.
 
The first DOROTHY has a fall,
And Bill and Jo have a close call,
But soon they’re right back
On a double storm’s track;
Melissa’s near ready to bawl.
 
The team visits Jo’s rural aunt,
Who always has dinner to grant.
While there at Aunt Meg’s,
They have great steak and eggs.
They’d all like to stay, but they can’t.
 
The next twister found jumps about,
And DOROTHY II is knocked out,
Yet Jo is obsessed
With her funnel cloud quest,
And Bill has to stop her and shout.
 
Her father’s death gave her the drive
To see twisters’ power alive.
Bill tells her somehow
They must focus on now
In order for marriage to thrive.
 
A drive-in that’s showing The Shining
Is where their team ends up reclining,
But then a storm hits
And just rips it to bits.
The whole place may need redesigning.
 
By this time, Melissa’s distraught
And leaves Bill, for things are too taut.
Bill says he’s beyond
Love for storms and his blonde,
But she clearly sees he is not.
 
When Meg’s house is hit by a twister,
They all rush right there to assist her.
Once she’s safe and sound,
Yet another comes round,
A storm with no equal or sister.
 
They modify DOROTHY’s spheres
To catch all the wind as it steers.
It fails yet again,
But they’re horrified when
Jonas dies from not heeding their fears.
 
As the mile-wide twister swirls round,
Obstructions and dangers abound.
As Bill and Jo drive,
Trying just to survive,
The right opportunity’s found.
 
They let the last DOROTHY fly,
Exulting at their latest try,
But then the cyclone
Just won’t leave them alone.
They flee to a pipe shed nearby.
 
Securing themselves tightly there,
They watch as they float in the air.
They hold as they enter
The tornado’s center,
And it dies out, leaving the pair.
Now they have much data to share.
____________________
 

Many disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure or The Towering Inferno are blown out of proportion for the sake of the film, while others like The Impossible are more realistic but focus on catastrophes that are still rare. Tornadoes happen all the time out in the Midwest, and sometimes it takes a film like this to remind those who don’t live there of the power and devastation of these storms. That’s not to say Twister isn’t rather overblown as well, with a convenient rash of tornadoes breaking out within driving distance (which is still plausible) and tons of special effects. While it received mixed reviews overall, even critics couldn’t help but praise the effects used to bring the twisters to life and iconically fly cows across the screen (or maybe the same cow).

They may not be Oscar-worthy, but Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton pair quite well as meteorologist action heroes, and both at least seem like real people. Jami Gertz also has some memorable moments as Bill’s overwhelmed girlfriend Melissa, and Philip Seymour Hoffman and Alan Ruck are great fun as the leaders of the storm-chasing entourage. Cary Elwes skillfully drops his English accent to play Dr. Jonas Miller, preparing him for other villainous roles later on. By the way, that was Alexa Vega of Spy Kids fame playing the young Jo at the beginning. In addition (Lost alert!), there’s Jeremy Davies, who played Daniel Faraday on my favorite show. It’s a small role as one of the members of Jo’s storm team, but when I saw this film after Lost, I said “Oh, my gosh, it’s Daniel!” (He’s the one who gets up from Meg’s table to let Melissa sit down.)

The final twister is truly spectacular in its enormity, tossing around everything from houses to oil tankers, but because it’s so big and powerful, it strains credulity that no one but the bad guy got hurt. I mean seriously, with all that debris flying around, none of it hurt Bill and Jo as they were running through the heart of it? It’s one of those action movies that conveniently protects the main characters from all harm, but the scenes of destruction are believable enough to make up for that. The drive-in scene and the collapsing house scene are both edge-of-your-seat sequences so impressive that they were recreated for the theme park attraction down at Universal Studios. Twister is a whirlwind of a movie with plenty of thrills and laughs, a memorably greasy breakfast scene, and remarkable visuals that have kept me from ever wanting to move to Oklahoma. No offense.

Best line: (Melissa, on the phone during a twister) “I gotta go, Julia; we got cows!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 10
Other (language): -3
 
TOTAL: 43 out of 60
 

Next: #187 – Frozen

© 2014 S. G. Liput

147 Followers and Counting

 

Rocky III (1982)

04 Friday Jul 2014

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Three years after Rocky’s win against Apollo Creed,
He’s still the champ and has the cash to finally succeed.
He’s no more just a bum; he’s Philly’s fighting favorite son
And can afford a charity match that’s turbulent but “fun.”
 
When Rocky’s famous statue’s being unveiled for a crowd,
A challenger named “Clubber” Lang intrudes a bit too loud.
He says he wants a match with Rock and will destroy the “fool,”
And Rocky wants to fight him too and take him back to school.
 
But something Clubber says makes Rocky ask his trainer Mick
If his past fights were set-ups, won through Mickey’s careful pick.
Though Mickey chose opponents Rocky certainly could beat,
He did it to protect him from the torment of defeat.
 
This Clubber is too hungry, too robust and young and strong,
For Rocky to face off against and share the ring for long.
Yet Rocky doesn’t listen, and he doesn’t train his best,
And when the fight arrives, poor Mickey clutches his own chest.
 
Mick’s heart is giving out, and this unsettles Rocky so,
That he can’t hold his own tonight and loses by K-O.
He cannot bring himself to tell his trainer that he failed,
And Mickey dies in Rocky’s arms, believing he prevailed.
 
Apollo comes to Rocky with an offer unexpected,
To train him that his pride and his career be resurrected.
He takes him to his L.A. gym where his own path began,
And Rocky relearns boxing through Apollo’s training plan.
 
But Rocky’s heart’s not in it; he’s afraid to fight because
Perhaps he wasn’t quite as skilled as he believed he was,
But Adrian, his wife, insists he salvage his career,
But he himself must do his best and conquer all his fear.
 
From then on out, he labors hard to raise his strength and speed.
Before long, he can outrun his new friend Apollo Creed.
The night arrives for Lang and Rocky’s rematch for the title;
While Rocky looks determined, Clubber’s looking homicidal.
 
As Rocky holds his own and Lang’s strong punching doesn’t work,
The former champ is trying to provoke, annoy, and irk.
Soon, Clubber’s rage is blinding, and then Rocky lets it rip
And knocks him out to retake the world boxing championship.
 
When all is said and done, when there’s no media or talk,
Apollo seeks a friendly rematch with his rival Rock.
_________________
 

Perhaps Rocky IV would have been a more patriotic film for Independence Day, and I certainly like it as well (it has some of the best musical montages of the whole series), but I prefer Rocky III over any of the other sequels. It’s pretty much the usual plotline with Rocky Balboa facing a big fight, which he ends up training hard for and winning at the end, but this third film throws in some variables that make it special.

Perhaps the biggest emotional punch is the death of Burgess Meredith’s gruff trainer Mickey Goldmill. Since he was already old at the start of the series, his heart troubles are certainly believable, and his death scene really is heartbreaking. The other thing that sets this film apart is Mr. T as Clubber Lang. Though he was nominated for a Golden Raspberry for Worst New Star, I think he’s the best antagonist of the Rocky films. While Rocky IV’s Drago was practically a machine and Apollo Creed was moderately sympathetic, Clubber is so in-your-face belligerent with his patented “I-pity-the-fool” delivery that it’s that much more satisfying when he is finally defeated. I also appreciate how Apollo becomes more of a friendly rival, helping Rocky to “rise up to the challenge of [his] rival.”

The training scenes aren’t the best of the series, but Hulk Hogan has a fun cameo as Thunderlips, “the Mountain of Molten Lust,” and the final fight with Lang is a stand-out. Unlike almost all the others in which Rocky’s hard head just takes a pounding to basically outlast the other guy, here he actually uses a strategy to make Clubber so angry that he tires himself out so that Rocky can overcome. Rocky’s actually active and more conscious by the end of the fight so that there can be a nice little post-fight scene with Apollo. Also, Survivor’s ”Eye of the Tiger” perfectly bookends the film and earns placement in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Rocky III may be rather predictable, but it’s formula done well.

Best line: (Rocky, referring to Thunderlips, the wrestling champ) “Wow, he’s awful big. Hey, Mick, how much do you think he eats?”
(Mickey) “About 202 pounds.”
(the announcer, introducing Rocky) “Weighing in at 202 pounds…”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60

 

Next: #188 – Twister

© 2014 S. G. Liput

146 Followers and Counting

 

#190: Hello, Dolly (1969)

03 Thursday Jul 2014

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Back in 1890 Yonkers,
Dolly Levi always conquers
Any obstacle she sees.
Love and money have compelled her
To seek Horace Vandergelder,
Who’ll be hers, she guarantees.
 
Though he is a cross curmudgeon,
He just needs a little nudge on
Choosing her above the rest.
As a mover and a shaker
And New York’s most loved matchmaker,
She’s not easily suppressed.
 
After Horace tears to pieces
A beloved of his niece’s,
He intends to look for joy.
With the cash at his disposal,
He is planning a proposal
To New York’s Irene Malloy.
 
Since his feed store must stay open,
He puts his reluctant hope in
His two unfulfilled young clerks.
Once he’s gone, Cornelius Hackl
And pal Barnaby then tackle
Life at large and all its perks.
 
Dolly tells the two assistants
Of the heaven-sent existence
Of two women meant for them.
So they journey with elation
To Irene Malloy’s location,
Thinking they’ll each find a gem.
 
While Irene and gal pal Minnie
Like the pair, naïve and skinny,
Both employees quickly hide
When their boss arrives to proffer
Miss Malloy a marriage offer,
Till he learns of men inside.
 
Dolly then begins preparing
For a date night they’ll be sharing,
Though the poor clerks are afraid.
She ties off her latest scheming
As the city streets are teeming
For the 14th Street Parade.
 
By the time that night is falling,
All the characters are calling
On the restaurant that she chose.
Both the clerks cannot afford to
Spend a lot, though they’re implored to,
And their bluffing frankly shows.
 
Dolly’s welcomed with much fanfare;
Horace is her chosen man there,
Though she causes him much stress.
Dolly has arranged a chance for
His niece and her beau to dance for
Contest money to impress.
 
Mr. Hackl starts confessing
With Irene and Minnie’s blessing,
For they knew it all along.
They then try to be the winner
Of the dance to pay for dinner,
But then everything goes wrong.
 
Horace sees his niece cavorting
With the man he’d banned from courting,
And he quickly goes berserk.
What a messy picture this is!
Both his workers he dismisses
When he sees they’re not at work.
 
During this confused occasion,
There’s some stealthy pay evasion,
As two couples sneak away.
Hackl and Irene now know that
They’re in love, and both then show that
In a song to end the day.
 
Dolly then leaves Vandergelder,
Who regrets he ever smelled her,
But that changes very soon.
Back in Yonkers, he’s unmarried,
With no workers to be harried,
Just a lonely rich tycoon.
 
Dolly and the rest come calling,
And he sees no point in stalling,
So he asks her in his life.
She suggests that he be smarter
And take Hackl as a partner,
And she’s glad to be his wife.
_________________
 

Coming just a year after her rise to stardom in 1968’s Funny Girl, Hello, Dolly gave Barbra Streisand yet another enduring musical role that seems perfect for her. Many criticized the fact that she was only 27 years old at the time, perhaps too young for the role of a pushy widow seeking a husband. Yet she makes the role her own and fills it with such fast-talking chutzpah that I can’t see anyone else playing Dolly Levi. Carol Channing may have been the immortal Dolly on Broadway, but in my opinion (and my VC’s) Streisand blows her away, in both the strength and the mellifluence of her voice.

Walter Matthau sings for the first and only time in his career (that I’m aware of) as the bossy and crotchety storeowner Horace Vandergelder. Michael Crawford also does a fine job as Cornelius Hackl and is so lovably nerdy that it’s hard to believe he’s the original Tony-winning Phantom of the Opera. All the other roles are filled ideally, and Louis Armstrong’s cameo during the title song is classic as all get-out.

The music itself is wonderful stuff. From Mr. Vandergelder’s humorously selfish “It Takes a Woman” to the charming, street-walking “Elegance,” the songs clearly have just the right balance of humor, clever lyrics, and hummable tunes. “Hello, Dolly” is another great number, and the entire part in the Harmonia Gardens Restaurant is filled with energetic physical comedy and Michael Kidd’s impressive choreography. And of course, there are the two songs made even more timeless by their inclusion in the Pixar film WALL-E, those being “Put on Your Sunday Clothes” and “It Only Takes a Moment.” A few of the unnecessary songs like “Love Is Only Love” slow the film down a bit, but showstoppers like “Before the Parade Passes By” truly make the film (Streisand’s long end note is awe-inspiring). My personal favorite, though, is the opening song “Just Leave Everything to Me,” which was written specifically for the film and Barbra Streisand.

Hello, Dolly isn’t my favorite musical, even though I love most of the songs. Perhaps I don’t care for Dolly’s overly pushy manner. I mean, Mr. Vandergelder was an overbearing, self-centered boor, but by the end, I almost sympathized with his exasperation. His turnaround and marriage proposal are rather sudden, yet it shows Dolly knew just the right buttons to push to get the desired outcome. Despite Dolly’s busybody personality, Streisand sells it for the most part, and she and Crawford are perfectly cast. My VC loves the film even more than I, and though other musicals and Barbra Streisand films are higher on my list, this one stands out as a Broadway-style gem.

Best line: (Vandergelder, to his niece’s beloved Ambrose) “You are a seven-foot-tall nincompoop!”   (Ambrose) “That’s an insult!”   (Vandergelder) “All the facts about you are insults!”

VC’s best line: (Vandergelder, while being shaved) “Eighty percent of the people in the world are fools, and the rest of us are in danger of contamination.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #189 – Rocky III

© 2014 S. G. Liput

146 Followers and Counting

 

Joyeux Noël (2005)

02 Wednesday Jul 2014

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In 1914, war began,
Embraced by most, except a few.
As nations called on every man,
The horror of it came in view.
 
The Scots, the Germans, and the French
Were fortified on Christmas Eve.
Each army huddled in its trench,
No reinforcements to relieve.
 
Then, lo, there rose a single voice,
A tenor on the German side,
Reminding them to still rejoice,
For Christ was born for all worldwide.
 
The Scots employed their instrument
To complement the brave recruit,
And everybody was content
To lend an ear instead of shoot.
 
The three commanders met that night,
To call a temporary truce,
To share champagne instead of fight,
To put their time to better use.
 
A Scottish priest performed a Mass
For every soldier, friend or foe,
And one attending German lass
Performed soprano in the snow.
 
Although the night soon ran its course,
The morning saw increased rapport.
They could not dole out death and force
On those they met the night before.
 
Instead, they gathered hand in hand,
The dead of every camp to bury,
And they transformed no man’s land
Into one large cemetery.
 
When shelling was to be dispersed,
The Germans warned their rival friend,
And when their places were reversed,
The Scots let courtesy extend.
 
Yet friendship was not meant to last,
For when superiors heard tell
Of what occurred, they were aghast
And punished all such personnel.
 
Though others thought their acts a shame,
The men who lived that silent night
Were proud to greet their foe by name
And share in peace on earth outright.
________________
 

Time to kick off Christmas in July with Joyeux Noël, which is French for Merry Christmas.There aren’t many foreign-language films on my list, but this one has a unique blend of languages, since it presents an amazing event during World War I from the point of view of German, Scottish, and French soldiers. All three languages are spoken side by side, not only heightening the film’s realism but also allowing English, French, and German-speaking viewers to hear their own language a third of the time.

The film wonderfully humanizes its characters and doesn’t set out to cast any side as the villain. True, Austria-Hungary and Germany were the aggressors, but, unlike the Second World War, I don’t believe there was true evil fueling the conflict. World War I was mainly fought over border disputes and entangling alliances, and the soldiers in the trenches were present only out of duty to their nations, not malice toward the opposing side. Of course, war forces countries to inevitably demonize their enemies in order to give their troops the drive to fight (as is hauntingly illustrated by the film’s opening poem, as well as the bishop’s sermon at the end), but most of those on the ground on both sides were ordinary people, real people, family men.

The film doesn’t provide as much characterization for the soldiers as I would have liked, but perhaps that was intentional. The war had just begun and the men were just getting to know each other, whether as friends, as enemies, or as something in between. Benno Fürmann stands out the most as the German tenor Sprink, along with his lover Anna, played by Diane Kruger of National Treasure fame. Guillaume Canet, Gary Lewis, and Daniel Brühl are also marvelous as the French lieutenant, a Scottish priest, and the German lieutenant, respectively.

The film is replete with moments of touching beauty, of enemies slowly coming together to exchange gifts, of a lovely operatic rendition of Ave Maria that leaves the troops spellbound, of kindness being shown even when they know it should be forbidden. It speaks strongly of the unifying power of music, religion, uncommon decency, and coffee/tea. Little details, such as a Frenchman’s clock-related habits or the back-and-forth claiming of an itinerant cat, help bring the story to life. (By the way, much of this story was previously featured in the music video for Paul McCartney’s “Pipes of Peace” back in 1983. Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7ErrZ-ipoE)

There are several profanities and a brief but unnecessary sex scene, but, as far as violence, the film is thankfully restrained enough to be realistic without being gory. Overall, Joyeux Noël is one of the most inspiring Christmas films I’ve seen, even if the ending is less than happy. As the 100th anniversary of these events approaches at the end of this year, the film remains a timely illustration of Thomas Hardy’s poem “The Man He Killed,” which ends with “Yes; quaint and curious war is!/You shoot a fellow down/You’d treat, if met where any bar is,/Or help to half a crown.”

Best line: (Scottish Father Palmer) “Tonight, these men were drawn to that altar like it was a fire in the middle of winter. Even those who aren’t devout came to warm themselves.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (language, sex): -4
 
TOTAL: 42 out of 60
 

Next: #190 – Hello, Dolly

© 2014 S. G. Liput

146 Followers and Counting