Category Archives: Movies

Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who! (2008)

15 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

An elephant picks up a sound
From a speck that is floating around.
It must have a person,
Whose bearing may worsen
If some safer place isn’t found.
 
He grabs up a clover posthaste,
And that’s where the small speck is placed.
A kangaroo, though,
Says that he must let go
Since this nonsense is just in bad taste.
 
But Horton insists that the speck,
Though it’s too microscopic to check,
Has life to protect.
It turns out he’s correct;
There’s a town that might soon be a wreck.
 
The mayor of Who-ville discerns
Something’s wrong, and, from Horton, he learns
They’re smaller than spit,
So he freaks out a bit
But is nervous to share his concerns.
 
Horton vows to protect all the Whos
And guards them in ways that amuse.
As he goes on his trek,
His interest in the speck
That old kangaroo won’t excuse.
 
She sends out a vulture named Vlad,
(Not the bunny, but he who is bad),
Who steals Horton’s clover
And then drops it over
A clover field, flying off glad.
 
The elephant searches for hours
Through hundreds and millions of flowers.
He finds it at last,
And the Whos are aghast
That their world is much smaller than ours.
 
They finally trust that the mayor
Is not just a foolish naysayer,
But, as Horton leaves,
He’s attacked by more thieves.
This time the whole jungle is there.
 
Indignant, stiff-necked, and enraged,
The kangaroo orders him caged.
The Whos create noise
Out of music and toys
And the odd things in which they’re engaged.
 
Young Jojo, the mayor’s own son,
Makes the most racket of anyone.
With a “Yopp” loud and true,
All their sounds do break through,
And they’re saved by the kangaroo’s son.
 
The animals now realize
There are things far beyond their own eyes.
They sing at this news
And then help all the Whos,
Who are people, regardless of size.
__________________
 

It may sound odd, but as a poet, Dr. Seuss is my hero. His books helped to shape a generation, as countless parents read The Cat in the Hat or Bartholomew Cubbins to their children as bedtime stories, including my own. His poetry and art are iconic, and no other film captures his whimsical style better than Horton Hears a Who! Also, while I haven’t seen a few, like Robots or Epic, I think this film is Blue Sky Studios’ best work as well.

The animation is way beyond the original Ice Age, and, while not quite Pixar quality, it brings to life the world of Dr. Seuss, particularly in the town of Who-ville with its curved arches and buildings and fantastical unicycle devices. Despite some overly odd scenes, such as Horton’s anime parody or that little furry creature continually yawning, the humor is actually funny, which is more than I can say for some other recent comedies. The part with the Mayor at the dentist’s office had my VC and me in stitches. Plus, it ends with an REO Speedwagon song, so what’s not to like?

While Jim Carrey’s track record has been rather mixed over the years, his quirky impressions and tones are excellent through the mouth of Horton the elephant. Steve Carell is perfect as the Mayor, with his constant nervous groans, sighs, screams, yells, chuckles, and hollers. Plus, the kangaroo is made appropriately sour by Carol Burnett’s deep and threatening voice. When she demands something, one half expects to hear “Yes, Miss Hannigan.”

When you think about it, aside from an unnecessary joke thrown at homeschooling, the film actually has many good lessons: faith in something beyond ourselves, tolerance for others’ views, and, of course, “a person’s a person, no matter how small.”

Best line: (the Mayor’s wife, to her daughter) “No, you need to go to bed. Daddy’s having a breakdown.”

 
Artistry: 2
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 7
Other (a few unnecessary weird parts): -4
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #296: The Day after Tomorrow

© 2014 S. G. Liput

I Am Legend (2007) / World War Z (2013)

13 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

Robert Neville is the last
Survivor of a medicine
That wiped out most three years ago;
The rest are mutants with pale skin.
 
He drives through New York’s empty streets,
His only friend a dog named Sam.
Although he tries to find a cure,
So far his efforts are a sham.
 
One day, while scavenging for food,
He has a close call with the freaks,
Who cannot live in broad sunlight
And only let out yells and shrieks.
 
He captures one of them as well
To test a new experiment.
He thinks his serum doesn’t work
And starts to doubt his efforts spent.
 
A mutant traps him, and, in fleeing,
Robert sees Sam get a bite.
He takes her home to try his cure,
But he must strangle her that night.
 
At first, he’s numb and wants revenge,
Which fails as well, but he is saved
By healthy Anna and a boy,
The company that he has craved.
 
He doesn’t share her faith-filled hope,
But he defends her when night falls
And mutants come to storm his house.
The three then hide behind glass walls.
 
When Robert sees his serum works,
He sacrifices his own life
To stop the creatures and let Anna
Carry it to end the strife.
Or:
When Robert sees his serum works,
He gives his test case back, unsure.
When all the mutants let him live,
The three of them leave with his cure.
_________________________
 
Gerry Lane’s a family man
Amidst a breakout of disease
That turns infected ones into
A zombie horde that will not ease.
 
His family narrowly escapes
A Newark rooftop just in time.
They’re safe aboard a U.N. ship,
But Gerry’s course turns on a dime.
 
If they stay safe, he has to go
And help a doctor find a cure.
They go to South Korea, where
The doc is killed, and they detour.
 
In Israel, a wall’s been built;
They had the foresight to prepare.
But sound attracts the zombie crowd
And makes them climb without a stair.
 
Jerusalem is lost, it seems,
But Gerry saves a soldier girl.
They manage passage on a plane
And fly above the hostile world.
 
But there’s a zombie on the plane,
And things get quite out of control.
Yet Gerry throws a live grenade
And blows the undead out the hole.
 
The plane goes down somewhere in Wales,
But Gerry and the girl survive.
They find a W.H.O.,
Which verifies that they’re alive.
 
Then Gerry wants to test a theory
Which may help with quarantine.
The zombies may ignore the sick;
Disease may keep us all unseen.
 
They have the samples of disease,
But that wing’s filled with the infected.
He sneaks by zombie-crowded rooms
And almost gets through undetected.
 
Trapped within a small glass room,
He gives himself a bad disease.
He opens up the door again
And walks through zombie hordes with ease.
 
Once cured of what he gave himself,
He spreads the news he chanced to find.
This helps the soldiers to fight back
And saves what’s left of all mankind.
_____________________
 

I’m not big on the genre of zombie movies. I’ve never seen Night of the Living Dead or The Evil Dead or The Walking Dead or any movie or show with “dead” in the title (as far as I know). Thus, most of what I know is based on things I’ve read or heard, but one common factor that has mainly kept me from such films is its penchant for violence and gore. The concept of the living dead is interesting to me, but it’s not worth slogging through buckets of blood or body parts. Therefore, I’ve included these films as two of the most restrained members of the zombie genre.

I put I Am Legend and World War Z together because, after seeing the latter, I was struck by several similarities between the two. Both are based on well-received science fiction horror novels. Both involve several startling jump scenes and a worldwide pandemic of a mysterious disease that turns many or all of its victims into mindless monsters that throw themselves wildly against windshields. Both include a sympathetic family man trying to find a cure, and both end with the protagonist locked in a glass room.

I Am Legend is a melancholy picture of an empty New York, starring Will Smith as Robert Neville. Unlike Gerry Lane in World War Z, Neville loses everything in his search for a cure, and Will Smith makes the pathos of his situation very believable and touching. The film includes both one of the most intense and one of the saddest scenes ever, namely Neville’s first encounter with the infected (which feels like an edge-of-your-seat first-person-shooter video game) and his killing of his beloved dog, on his birthday no less. This sad scene ranks up there with Old Yeller as far as traumatic canine deaths.

A main problem with I Am Legend is the end. There was no need for Neville to kill himself, since he could have fit in the little niche in which Anna and Ethan hid. I much prefer the abovementioned alternate ending, which is much less depressing, though it diverges from the book on which the film is based.

World War Z features actual zombies, rather than the more vampiric mutants. While some people have stated that fast-moving undead are a cliché now, the sight of the rushing zombie hordes is admittedly unnerving.

Though my VC refused to see it because of her dislike for Brad Pitt, I thought he did a decent job as Gerry Lane, though not as good as Will Smith’s performance. Yet, while I Am Legend has many scenes that dwell on what he has lost, World War Z is a much more straightforward action movie (with most direct acts of violence thankfully offscreen), the pace of which hardly slows down enough to let the implications of this global disaster sink in. Yet Gerry’s family survive, unlike Neville’s, and so does he, which makes the end a little happier, if equally ambiguous. On the other hand, Neville actually found a cure for the disease, whereas Gerry’s solution is just to prevent its spread, leaving everyone already a zombie to just be exterminated. Plus, unlike I Am Legend and a similar epidemic film Contagion, we never learn where the zombie outbreak came from. (I blame the Sumatran rat monkey.)

Both have some language and violence, and the very concept of a disease wiping out most of the world’s population is inherently sobering, but both manage to excite, thrill, and believably create these frightening what-if situations.

Best line from I Am Legend: (Neville, speaking of Bob Marley) “When they asked him why – he said, “The people, who were trying to make this world worse… are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness.”

Best line from World War Z: (Jurgen Warmbrunn in Israel) “Most people don’t believe something can happen until it already has. That’s not stupidity or weakness, that’s just human nature.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (language, violence, and subject matter): -6
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #297: Horton Hears a Who!

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009)

12 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

A boy named Henry disappears
And learns he travels through the years.
He comes and goes at random times,
Buck naked, prompting several crimes.
But, through his travels here and there,
He meets a lovely girl named Clare.
 
She loves his future self she knew
From many a childhood rendezvous;
In turn, he meets her as a kid.
As romance blooms, he’s glad he did.
His odd condition causes dread,
But love prevails, and soon they’re wed.
 
His sudden exits take their toll,
Although they’re out of his control.
But Henry makes it up to Clare
By making her a millionaire.
The lottery allows the two
To buy a home that Henry knew.
 
When they attempt to have a child,
They lose a few, and both are riled.
The babe time-travels too, it seems,
Too soon, a loss which breaks their dreams.
Thus, Henry tries to save Clare pain
And has a vasectomy, but in vain.
 
His wife won’t take kids off the shelf
And so conceives with his past self.
This time, Clare gladly bears a daughter,
Alba, who’s just like her father.
Though all seems well, there looms the thought
That one day Henry will be shot.
 
They saw his future self once, hurt,
A fact he knows he can’t avert.
He treasures every moment till
Clare’s dad hunts deer and shoots to kill.
His wife and daughter know he’s near;
His past self lives and might appear.
_____________________
 

The Time Traveler’s Wife is honestly a very weird romance, but it also is one of the most bittersweet movies I’ve ever seen. Many elements are downright strange in an oddly clever way, such as Clare getting pregnant by Henry’s past self or marrying his future self, but other scenes had me and my VC on the verge of tears. The scene where Henry meets his dead mother on the train is particularly a tearjerker, but that shot toward the end of his handprint fading on the window touches me deeply as well. The continuous shot of the couple’s five years with Alba is also a nice artistic flourish.

According to my VC, Eric Bana is certifiably “cute” as Henry DeTamble and much more faithful and likable than in his earlier role as Henry VIII in The Other Boleyn Girl. Rachel McAdams is equally attractive, and the two make a great pair. (McAdams was also in the recent About Time, playing a time traveler’s wife, so she must enjoy such roles.)

Most of the undesirable elements are in the first half hour, mainly the profanity and Henry’s unfortunate need to steal clothes after every time jump. Even if these thefts are justifiable, the mere concept of a protagonist stealing clothes is problematic; I didn’t like it in Man of Steel, and I don’t like it here. Not to mention, he and Clare sadly fall into bed right after meeting; it would have been better if they had at least gotten to know each other more. (I know Clare knew Henry, but he didn’t know her at all.) Despite these grievances, The Time Traveler’s Wife is quite a unique love story that is both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Best line: (Henry’s past self) “Where’s Henry?”
(Clare) “Uh, I left him sleeping. I needed some time away from him.”
(past Henry) “How’s that working out for you?”

 

Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (language and aforementioned elements): -8
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #298: I Am Legend/World War Z

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#300: The Godfather (1972)

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Vito Corleone is a New York City don
Who is loved by his large family but feared by everyone.
When Vito’s godson wants a film role, it is his, of course,
Once the film director wakes up to the head of some poor horse.
 
Some lowlife named Salozzo tries to promise compensation
In the hopes the don will guard his new narcotics operation.
The don says “No” to drugs and brushes off his sons’ advice;
He prefers that mainly gambling remain the family vice.
 
Salozzo won’t accept a “No” and uses power and pelf
To knock off Vito’s chief hit man and shoot the don himself.
Surviving, Vito’s threatened by his many vengeful foes
But protected by son Michael who repels the lethal pros.
 
When Michael wants to kill the drug lord, finishing this feud,
Salozzo and his bodyguard are shot while eating food.
Then Michael, who until then had eschewed his father’s ways,
Goes off to hide in Sicily and that is where he stays.
 
When his son Sonny is gunned down, the don then sues for peace
Among the warring families and calls for strife to cease.
Mike meets a girl and marries her but soon she’s murdered too.
He goes back home and marries Kay, from whom he once withdrew.
 
Soon Michael is the family head and tries to move them west;
He tells his wife they’ll soon be legal so she won’t protest.
The aging don keels over while he plays with Michael’s son,
And Michael knows betrayal is near so something must be done.
 
While Michael sees his nephew christened and gives vows in vain,
He has the rival family heads and every traitor slain.
He kills his sister’s husband and denies the fact to Kay;
He’s now the new Don Corleone and Godfather this day.
____________________________
 

This is it, the moment when it becomes absolutely clear that this is my list and no one else’s. It may seem unbelievable that this film that populates so many top 5 film lists is only #300 on mine, but I will try to qualify that choice. I will state right up front that The Godfather is a great film but not necessarily a great movie. That is to say, it is nearly flawless in its artistic presentation of fine actors and a skilled director creating a story full of nuance and intrigue, but, as an enjoyable entertainment experience that I, as a viewer, want to repeatedly watch, it falls short.

The superb acting, the impeccable costumes and period details, the instantly recognizable score, and its many iconic scenes are downright perfect, and, by the end, one feels saturated by this mafia world of Italian dons and murder as a necessary evil. While the opening conversations with Best Actor winner Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone and the horse head scene have attracted the most attention and parody, the part that stuck out to me was the tense hospital scene in which Michael tries to hide his father as echoing footsteps approach. Also, the bloodbath near the end that takes place as Michael “renounces Satan” is extremely effective in both its shock value and its confirmation that Michael has indeed gone to the dark side.

I suppose that is the problem: as impressive and compelling as the film is, I can’t get past the subject matter. I’ve already stated my dislike for most caper films, and gangster movies like this are not much different. They glorify crime and violence, and, while the final scenes affirm that Michael is evil now, he essentially gets away with all those murders. (The same thing happened in Part II, which I basically hold on the same level as the first; I’ll write a poem for it someday.) Considering that the Corleone family is the centerpiece of the film, it’s just a shame that I can’t really root for them; I suppose it’s sad when some of them are gunned down, but ultimately they bring it on themselves. As I said, the film does a wonderful job immersing the audience in another way of life, but, unlike Witness or The Horse Whisperer, it is a lifestyle I neither envy nor admire.

The violence and language are frequent, and, though the horse head scene has comparatively more blood, Michael’s shooting of Salozzo and McCluskey really shocked me with its stark realism, even if there was a lot of buildup to it. All this is not to detract from The Godfather’s truly iconic status; I definitely see why it’s so high on other people’s lists. It’s just not my preferred kind of movie.

Best line (predictable, I know): “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

 
Artistry: 10
Characters/Actors: 10
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects (overly realistic shootings): 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 2
Other (language, violence, subject matter): -8
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #299: The Time Traveler’s Wife

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Independence Day (1996)

10 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

A giant object nears the earth and freaks us humans out.
We’ve all suspected aliens, but now there is no doubt.
When several ships break off from it and hover over cities,
The world debates what they should do in jittery committees.
A pilot in the desert by the name of Russell Casse,
Who insists he was abducted, fears they’ve come to kill our race.
 
Then David Levinson, a tech who’s skilled in playing chess,
Discovers there’s a countdown that is unknown to the press.
He has his Jewish father drive him that night to D.C.
In hopes his ex-wife Constance might enable him to see
The President Tom Whitmore. When he warns the President,
They leave the city just before a terrible event.
 
In every major city with a spaceship overhead,
The aliens shoot beams that cause destruction as they spread.
The government reciprocates but cannot harm E.T.
Because a shield surrounds the ships, which shoot them as they flee.
A Captain Steven Hiller, whose own lover did survive,
Prevails against one alien and captures it alive.
 
The President and David and the rest on Air Force One
Then fly off to Nevada, where some research has been done.
Apparently at Roswell, these same aliens were caught,
And their captured ship’s been studied ever since it first was brought.
When Steven brings the creature, they do surgery until
It massacres the doctors and confirms they’ve come to kill.
 
Though all seems lost since many, like the First Lady, have died,
Smart David comes up with a plan he hopes will turn the tide.
Both he and Steven fly the spacecraft to the mothership
To spread a harmful virus that will make their defense slip.
Meanwhile, everybody, counting Whitmore too and Casse,
Prepares to fight the vessel that is headed for their place.
 
When David sends the virus, all the vessels’ force fields drop,
So Casse goes kamikaze, bringing E.T. to a stop.
When Steve and David blow the mothership back to the stars,
They crash to earth and hug their wives while smoking big cigars.
America then tells the world how best to blow away
The enemy from whom we claim our independence day.
___________________________
 

Independence Day is the epitome of a big special-effects-laden summer popcorn movie, back before the Transformers films gave that genre a numbing bad name. At first, it seems like a campy alien movie spoof with a host of comedic touches, such as the opening song being R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).” Plus, our first attempt to communicate with them involves bright lights because…well, they must have seen Close Encounters. Then, when the aliens actually attack, the level of absolute devastation takes the audience aback with the sheer scope of it all; after that, the two tones go back and forth, such as when they introduce Brent Spiner’s geeky Dr. Okun at Area 51 only to brutally kill him off in a scene reminiscent of the Alien movies.

Considering the immensity of the destruction here, which is actually quite sobering, it’s surprising that the writers infused so much campy humor into the proceedings, helped by Jeff Goldblum as smartest-person-in-the-room David Levinson, Judd Hirsch as his stereotypically Jewish father, and Will Smith as the brash pilot Steven Hiller. They each have some moments of drama as they think about the apocalypse that’s upon them, but most of the time they’re there for laughs or to deliver amusing action movie slogans.

Director Roland Emmerich has a penchant for destruction, and he puts special effects to good use in that department, though they’re not perfect. If you want to see government buildings blown apart spectacularly, this is your movie. Despite many disaster movie clichés, some elements have found their way into other films. For instance, Spielberg’s aliens in War of the Worlds look suspiciously like the ones in this film. The end is quite satisfying overall, even if the President’s speech about July 4 becoming the world’s Independence Day wasn’t well-received overseas. Still, it’s an American movie, so what the heck?

Overall, it has some foul language and some less-than-moral elements, and there are too many underdeveloped characters for viewers to really get emotionally involved with the story, but, as entertaining blockbuster fare, Independence Day is pretty impressive.

Best line: (news reporter in Los Angeles) “Once again, the L.A.P.D. is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the visitor spacecraft. You may inadvertently trigger an interstellar war.”

VC’s best line: (Constance, referring to a career) “Haven’t you ever wanted to be part of something special?”  (David, referring to their marriage) “I was part of something special.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 4
Watchability: 6
Other (language): -3
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #300: The Godfather (that’s right)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

A Walk to Remember (2002)

08 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

When Landon Carter and his friends
Decide to pull a high school trick
Upon a fellow kid, it ends
With that lad hurt, but in one piece.
Then all the cool kids run off quick,
But Landon’s captured by police.
 
He’s sentenced to do work at school
And tutors kids each Saturday,
He acts as if he’s way too cool
To deal with penance for his crime.
He also helps the school’s spring play,
But treats it as a waste of time.
 
A girl named Jamie in his class
Does all these things as well, for fun!
A preacher’s kid and lovely lass,
She’s kind and quiet, pure as snow.
Her ways are mocked by everyone
That Landon Carter cares to know.
 
But when his “friends” can’t help him much,
He begs her help to learn his lines.
She offers Christian aid and such,
But is disheartened by the fact
That, out in public, he declines.
Around his friends, he’s just an act.
 
The two of them still play the leads,
Who fall in love within the play,
And Jamie’s character succeeds
In winning over Landon Carter.
Her voice blows everyone away,
And, after that, the lad is smarter.
 
But Landon’s friends do something cruel,
To shame poor Jamie just for sport,
But he stands up for her at school,
Which brings them close but galls his friends.
He asks her dad if they can court,
And, though he’s skeptical, he bends.
 
But Jamie soon admits she’s sick,
Leukemia will claim her life.
But Landon has the nerve to stick
And woos her every chance he gets
Till Jamie says she’ll be his wife.
He loves her till her bright star sets.
 
His time with Jamie made him better;
It gave him dreams and lifelong goals.
He’s never sorry that he met her,
Although she vanished like a wraith.
Their love fulfilled their youthful souls
And helped him understand her faith.
______________________
 

A Walk to Remember is a high school love story that, on the surface, may seem formulaic and weepy, but, upon a closer look, becomes a beautiful romance and tale of transformation that is more touching than most. I particularly like this Nicholas Sparks adaptation over his other more well-known one The Notebook because of the morality central to the story. Unlike the out-of-control preacher’s kids in movies such as Footloose, Jamie Sullivan exemplifies so many virtues that anyone who values faithfulness and authenticity should find her attractive, beyond Mandy Moore’s physical beauty.

Landon’s redemption and love for her are also made more genuine by the fact that he shows his love. In contrast to love-at-first-sight stories like The Notebook, he brushes her off at first, but, by the end, his growth as a person is evident. He piles flowers on her porch, respectfully asks her stern father for permission to date, builds her a new telescope, tries to grant her list of wishes, and spends every moment proving his undying affection for her. Even after she’s gone, he remains an upstanding citizen, holding her memory as his inspiration in life. (Compare this with the way Ryan Gosling’s character went sharply downhill without the love of his life in The Notebook.)

The acting is shaky at first, but everyone grows into their characters nicely, and Shane West and Mandy Moore have undeniable chemistry by the end. Plus, it was nice to see Darryl Hannah and Peter Coyote in a different kind of role for them. Nicholas Sparks’s ability as a writer shines with the quirks he builds into the characters, such as Jamie’s list of things to do before she dies, an event that comes too soon. The end is bittersweet but much more uplifting than other films with similar outcomes, such as 1998’s City of Angels.

While the filmmakers had to add in some obscenities in order to make it more than a Hallmark movie or a low-budget Christian film, Jamie’s laudable faith and Landon’s satisfying turn-around make it a movie that’s a tad corny but well worth seeing. Plus, though I don’t care for Landon’s preferred music at the beginning, the film has a pretty good soundtrack, highlighted by Mandy Moore’s performance of Switchfoot’s “Only Hope.” Also, according to Wikipedia, most critics panned the film, but it is the 28th most liked film on Facebook, with good reason.

Best line: (Landon, reading a quote to Jamie from her book) “‘What is a friend? It’s a single soul dwelling in two bodies.’ -Aristotle.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (moral value): +6
Other (language): -2
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #301: Independence Day

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Stuart Little (1999)

08 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

The Little family’s looking for
Another member to adore,
And George insists his dad and mother
Bring him home a little brother.
 
The only one who “clicks” for them
Is tiny Stuart who’s – ahem –
An orphan mouse who somehow speaks;
He is the one the family seeks.
 
They take him home, but George is stunned
And walks off, leaving Stuart shunned.
Their cat named Snowbell must remember –
Never eat a family member.
 
Since Stuart’s small, one can suppose
That risks abound, like washing clothes.
It seems he just cannot fit in
With all his newfound next of kin.
 
But when he finds his brother’s room,
He plays with George, dispelling gloom.
They’re soon real brothers and embark
On racing boats in Central Park.
 
Though George’s rival tries to cheat,
Small Stuart hazards to compete
And helps his brother’s boat to win;
At last, it seems he does fit in.
 
But then two mice come for the lad
And claim to be his mom and dad.
He joins them, thinking that they are,
And leave in George’s own toy car.
 
They soon find out those mice, the Stouts,
Were lying. (Who else had their doubts?)
It turns out Stuart’s family group
Died in a mishap with some soup.
 
Snowbell had bargained with a cat
To somehow get the mouse to scat.
The Stouts got Stuart from the house;
Now Smokey wants to kill the mouse.
 
The Stouts admit their subterfuge
And warn him of the cat deluge
That’s on its way to make him chow;
He knows that he’s a Little now.
 
In Central Park, the cats attack,
But he evades them and gets back
To where all Littles know they’ll find
Their home, but Snowbell is unkind.
 
He lies and ousts him out of spite,
While Stuart’s folks are out that night.
They’re searching for their missing son.
Snow soon feels bad for what he’s done.
 
The cats chase Stuart up a tree.
On eating him they all agree.
But Snow redeems himself as a pet,
And all the bad cats end up wet.
 
The cat and mouse, no longer foes,
Go to the home each Little knows.
Relieved, they all are glad to be
One happy Little family.
__________________
 

Stuart Little is a great family film based on the classic children’s book by E. B. White, though it has a different plot and ending. The Oscar-nominated special effects that bring Stuart and the Stouts to life are amazing, even if their computerized origin is obvious at times. The speaking effects for the cats are almost better than those in Babe, and I love how the cats were clearly trained to do all their own stunts, so to speak.

While the human characters’ speech sounds like dialogue from a kids’ book, the best lines and moments go to Stuart (Michael J. Fox), Snowbell (Nathan Lane), and the alley cats (Steve Zahn as Monty, et al.). The script (which was worked on by some surprising names, such as M. Night Shymalan and David O. Russell) is chock full of great lines that anyone can use in day-to-day conversation, such as Snowbell’s “Talk to the butt” and Monty’s ingratiating “Pleeease.” Almost every character is likable in some way, even Smokey since he reminds my family of my mom’s old cat. Who would have foreseen, though, that Hugh Laurie (Mr. Little) would go on to play that jerk doctor on “House”?

The lovable characters, quirky concept, message about family and belonging, and dearth of anything objectionable make Stuart Little a marvelous film for families to enjoy together.

Best line: (one of the alley cats, when Stuart is hanging from a branch) “It’s mouse on a stick. I love mouse on a stick.”

VC’s best line: (toy salesman describing the Ben action figure’s clothes) “There are many moods of Ben.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (nothing objectionable; I just like other films more): -5
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #302: A Walk to Remember

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

06 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, ,

Lupin III is a gentleman thief,
Who’s known for his heists and his charm.
He robs a casino but gets away clean,
Even after he prompts the alarm.
 
But soon he realizes the bills are all fake,
And so he decides to explore
The source of these infamous “goat bills” he found,
Which he, as a thief, can’t ignore.
 
The tiny Grand Duchy of Cagliostro
Is where Lupin heads with a pal.
They soon see a girl being chased in a car
And follow the thug-pursued gal.
 
They save her from gun-toting goons and a cliff,
But still she is kidnapped away.
They go to a castle that Lupin remembers
And locate a place they can stay.
 
The girl was Clarisse, the small country’s princess,
Who is scheduled to marry a count.
She met and helped Lupin a few years ago,
A story he’s loath to recount.
 
The count needs her ring, which she gave to Lupin,
So he sends out his own ninja squad.
The duo escape and then plan their break-in
Of his castle that’s sure to hold fraud.
 
The brusque Zenigata, who’s with Interpol
And who’s vowed to catch Lupin one day,
Is lured by the thief to the danger-filled castle.
It’s a game Lupin knows how to play.
 
He uses his foe as a way to get in,
Though the agent falls through a trap door.
Then, climbing the roof, Lupin gets to the tower,
Which no one has managed before.
 
He woos sweet Clarisse, who is scared to escape
(With good reason); the Count soon arrives.
He drops the thief into a fathomless pit,
But the capable Lupin survives.
 
He meets Zenigata deep down in the crypt,
Where snoopers like them lie in piles.
Agreeing to peace till they both can get out,
They outsmart the Count and his wiles.
 
They find the Count’s presses for printing fake cash,
Intended for Beijing to Cairo.
With guards on their heels, they escape from their jail,
Abducting the Count’s autogyro.
 
Assisted by Fujiko, Lupin’s ex-lover,
They hover to rescue Clarisse.
Though Lupin is shot by the Count and his men,
The good guys get out in one piece.
 
Count still has Clarisse, so, as Lupin recovers,
He plans how to get her released.
His friends crash the wedding (which is televised),
While Lupin’s disguised as the priest.
 
In all of the chaos and strife, Zenigata
Goes in so the whole world can see.
He shows off the bills and the counterfeit presses,
Exposing the Count on TV.
 
But Count Cagliostro is busy with Lupin,
Who’s fleeing the scene with Clarisse.
He chases them into a giant clock tower
And bars any chance of release.
 
At last, with them cornered, the Count gets the ring,
As to the clock face he clings.
He causes the duo to plunge in the lake
And finds the secret of the rings.
 
His actions start draining the lake down below
And move the clock’s hands till he’s crushed.
An old Roman ruin is slowly revealed
As most of the water is flushed.
 
This treasure’s too precious (and massive) to steal,
And Lupin will need a headstart;
The thief bids the lovely Clarisse an adieu,
Stealing only the princess’s heart.
_____________________
 

The Castle of Cagliostro has the distinction of being the first feature film directed by famed anime master Hayao Miyazaki, several years before he even founded Studio Ghibli. His talent is evident in the interesting characters, exciting action scenes, and detailed plot. The animation is solid, with some of his artistry showing in the natural scenes and the mountainous backdrops, though some scenes are inconsistent as far as quality. I mainly appreciate Miyazaki’s reimagining of these characters, who are based off a Japanese manga series which was inspired by Maurice LeBlanc’s French literary character Arsene Lupin (the French equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes). From what I’ve read, the usual depiction of Lupin III was as a less sympathetic lecher, and the other characters tended to be less likable as well. While Miyazaki’s revisionism for this film was not universally well-received, he did a good thing in my book, downplaying the negative qualities of the characters.

While common physics sometimes takes a backseat for the action, the exciting scenes are vastly entertaining, like the movie as a whole. Lupin’s injury midway through helps to ground the story in some semblance of real-world danger, even if he does recover unusually fast.

The film is also a showcase of Miyazaki’s influence on other animation. The fight amid the clock tower’s inner gears and the final showdown on its face was clearly borrowed by Disney for the end of The Great Mouse Detective a few years later, and the end scene with the draining water revealing a lost city was an admitted influence on a similar scene in Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

The most recent dub that I saw is quite good, but with one big caveat: the language. The film is almost family appropriate by itself, but whoever translated the dialogue apparently felt they had to add in profanity for some reason. This bugs me to no end, since the obscenities add nothing and could easily be removed. Language aside though, the film is a classic in the James Bond style and one of Miyazaki’s most entertaining movies.  (No best line, sorry.)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (language): -9 (it’s worse because it’s almost a family film otherwise)
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #303: Stuart Little

© 2014 S. G. Liput

The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

,

Francis Ouimet is a caddy
At a Massachusetts club,
Where he’s used to high-brow members
Giving him a haughty snub.
 
Francis witnessed Harry Vardon
When the caddy was a boy.
Meeting such a famous golfer
Made golf something to enjoy.
 
Over years, the lad has practiced;
Now it seems he has a chance
For a coming tournament,
But he’s scorned at in advance.
 
Even Francis’ father makes him
Swear to stop golf if he fails.
When he doesn’t qualify,
Francis sadly enters sales.
 
Two years later, he again
Is offered up a chance to play.
This time it’s the U.S. Open,
But he answers with a nay.
 
Yet, when Francis quickly hears
That Harry Vardon will compete,
He decides to break his promise
And to challenge the elite.
 
When his caddy cannot come,
Young Eddie Lowery volunteers.
Though he’s just a chubby kid,
He pep-talks Francis through his fears.
 
Harry Vardon quickly moves
With friend Ted Ray into the lead.
Many people think, with them,
A win for England’s guaranteed.
 
But the snobs who watch and judge
Are soon surprised by Francis’ gains.
In the end, he does quite well;
In fact, a three-way tie remains!
 
Vardon calms his own unease
Of being good enough to play.
Ray thereafter “drops the ball,”
And two will putt the final day.
 
Francis and his hero vie
To win the title, calm the dread,
And, upon the final hole,
Francis wins one stroke ahead.
 
Everybody’s shocked but cheered;
An amateur has won such fame!
Francis’ father now respects
His son’s success and love of the game.
______________________
 

The Greatest Game Ever Played is typical underdog sports fare, which manages to still be quite unique because, rather than the usual football or basketball or baseball story, it’s about everyone’s favorite sport, golf. Directed by Bill Paxton, this film offers an interesting view of the game, often using different camera angles, such as presenting a putt through the “eyes” of the ball. Plus, the production values and cinematography recreate 1913 much more convincingly than the effects-laden past of Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

The acting is also wonderful, particularly Shia LaBeouf as Francis Ouimet, proving that, yes, he can indeed act. His relationships with his parents, Eddie, his wealthy girlfriend Sarah, and his hero/rival Harry Vardon are all well-developed and touching in different ways. While his father’s disparagement of his talent is disconcerting (I guess he thought only things that make money are worthwhile), his final come-around at the end is utterly touching and brought a tear to my VC’s eye. While the continual arrogance of the aristocrats who insist golf is strictly a “gentlemen’s game” gets old fast, I appreciate the way the filmmakers humanized Francis’ opponents Harry Vardon and Ted Ray. They could have easily been made unlikable competitors, but both were given their own eccentricities and troubles that make the audience root for them as well.

It isn’t the most exciting film, but golf isn’t the most exciting game either. This, along with Tin Cup, makes up pretty much the entirety of The Golf Channel’s movie lineup, but Greatest Game is not just a great golf movie; it’s a great movie, period.

Best line: (Harry Vardon, to the head pompous “gentleman”) “Let me tell you something. I came here to win a trophy. And on the face of it Ted Ray or I should carry it off. Not for you, not for England, but for sheer bloody pride at being the best, that’s why we do this. And if Mr. Ouimet wins tomorrow, it’s because he’s the best, because of who he is. Not who his father was, not how much money he’s got, because of who he bloody is! And I’ll thank you to remember that. And I’ll thank you to show the respect a gentleman gives as a matter of course.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 4
Watchability: 6
Other (brief language and early slowness): -3
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #304: The Castle of Cagliostro

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

King Kong (2005)

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

Depression-era New York City – that is where our story starts
With lovely actress Miss Ann Darrow having trouble finding parts.
Both work and food are scarce to find, though some demeaning jobs still pay,
But Miss Ann Darrow will not stoop (except to steal some fruit one day).
 
Then Carl Denham joins the scene and offers Ann the perfect role,
The female lead in his next film, the tools of which (turns out) he stole.
The film’s producers doubt his skill, and so, before they shut him down,
He leaves with Ann and his film crew aboard a freighter out of town.
 
He also tricks his “pal” Jack Driscoll, who’s a writer Ann admires,
Into staying on the ship to write the script that Carl requires.
The ship sails on to who-knows-where, according to a cryptic map
That Carl has, which leads to fortune or perhaps into a trap.
 
While Ann and Jack grow close on ship, the crew exhibits trepidation,
Particularly when they learn “Skull Island” is their destination.
Soon they run into some rocks and narrowly avoid a wreck.
When Carl’s crew then go ashore, the captain lets him risk his neck.
 
They meet some dark malicious natives, and they pay a bloody price,
But Englehorn, the captain, comes and stops the hostiles’ sacrifice.
They try to leave, but several natives come aboard and kidnap Ann.
She’s taken to a giant wall and lowered by the wicked clan.
 
A giant ape appears and takes her, just before her friends arrive,
So Englehorn sends out a group to quickly bring her back alive.
With Carl’s movie crew along to film what marvels may await,
The rescue team soon realizes this land holds creatures out-of-date.
 
The great gorilla shakes poor Ann and takes her to his cliffside haunt.
To keep him calm, the girl performs her vaudeville acts she hopes he’ll want.
He likes his toy but plays too rough, which prompts a firm, emphatic “No.”
He yells a bit but then departs, and Ann is unsure where to go.
 
Meanwhile, Jack and all the rest are facing jeopardy as well.
When Carl films some dinosaurs, a stampede shrinks their personnel.
A swampy cruise turns deadly too, and, once they’ve left the lethal bog,
They meet the dreaded ape himself, who shakes the humans off a log.
 
The island’s king then seeks his toy and finds Ann threatened by a rival.
He fights a V. Rex trio for her, and she joins him for survival.
A giant insect pit of death comes close to claiming Carl and Jack,
But Englehorn saves them again, though Carl’s film he can’t get back.
 
When Jack goes on to rescue Ann, he finds her with the mammoth brute,
And, with the help of giant bats, they flee, the ape in hot pursuit.
To make the journey all worthwhile, Englehorn and Carl try
To catch the beast; it’s dangerous, but, in the end, they get their guy.
 
Though Ann is sickened by it, Carl puts the giant on display
And turns “King Kong” into the biggest hit, a sellout on Broadway.
Ann’s stand-in and the camera lights turn out to be too much for Kong;
He breaks his chains and finds a world in which the beast does not belong.
 
His rampage trashes New York’s streets, as Kong goes searching for dear Ann.
She comes to him, and their odd friendship gets as touching as it can.
But then the army trucks arrive, and Kong takes Ann to lofty heights
And scales the tall Empire State Building so that they can see the sights.
 
The airplanes come and shoot at Kong, who’s not as mighty as he’s been.
He saves Miss Darrow from a fall, but, in the end, the airplanes win.
His body plummets to the ground, and people gather where he’s sprawled,
But Ann, who still has Jack, will miss the beast her beauty so enthralled.
___________________________
 

Some films are so classic that the mere thought of a remake is sacrilegious simply because there is no way for them to possibly be done better; such is the case for Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, or It’s a Wonderful Life. But if any old movie deserved, in fact demanded, a blockbuster makeover, it was 1933’s King Kong. The special effects in the original are certainly amazing and even manage to impress by today’s standards, but a modern version was certainly understandable, considering the mixed reviews garnered by Dino De Laurentiis’s 1976 remake. And who better but Peter Jackson to bring Kong to life and turn this 72-year-old story into an epic?

The whole film is a special effects extravaganza and is perhaps too much. The 1930s opening recreates that time very well, but it has a distinctly modern feel too; it looks like a modern reproduction of Depression-era New York rather than the actual thing. The acting is all right with the main standout being Naomi Watts, who manages to scream as effectively as and much less frequently than the original’s Fay Wray. Jack Black plays a good con artist in Carl Denham but seems out of place in the epic way Jackson presents the story (his final famous line falls FLAT as can be), and most of the other actors are just there basically to meet their uniquely grisly deaths on Skull Island. The biggest improvement over the original, besides the digital effects, is the relationship between Ann Darrow and Kong. It’s much less one-sided here than in the 1933 version, with Ann clearly caring for the ape almost as much as he cares for her, but in a more protector/damsel way rather than in a strange sexual way. Thus, it is more of a beauty-and-the-beast friendship than a romance.

The special effects are certainly the film’s biggest draw, with the sauropod stampede and the Kong vs. V. Rex fight being the jaw-dropping marvels of the film. The latter is one of the most exciting scenes in recent years for sure.

Despite all these pluses, the film drags on way too long. Considering what Jackson has done with The Hobbit of late, he maybe could have broken this film into three parts too. Nearly every scene, especially some unnecessary slow-motion ones, could have been trimmed in some way, shortening the film as a whole. Plus, the savage natives’ attack and the insect pit scene indulge too much in Jackson’s proven love of horror and are honestly hard to watch. Plus, there’s plenty of language, and the end is just sad, without any real moral aside from the fact they should have left Kong on the island. Still, for sheer spectacle, King Kong is a wonder to behold. Jackson made The Lord of the Rings so he could fund this film; it probably should have been the other way around.

Best line: (Carl) “Ann, I’m not that kind of person.”  (Ann) “Oh really, then what kind of person are you, Mr. Denham?”  (Carl) “I’m someone you can trust; I’m a movie producer.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (language and violence): -8
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Next: #305: The Greatest Game Ever Played

© 2014 S. G. Liput