Monthly Archives: March 2014

A Walk to Remember (2002)

08 Saturday Mar 2014

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When Landon Carter and his friends
Decide to pull a high school trick
Upon a fellow kid, it ends
With that lad hurt, but in one piece.
Then all the cool kids run off quick,
But Landon’s captured by police.
 
He’s sentenced to do work at school
And tutors kids each Saturday,
He acts as if he’s way too cool
To deal with penance for his crime.
He also helps the school’s spring play,
But treats it as a waste of time.
 
A girl named Jamie in his class
Does all these things as well, for fun!
A preacher’s kid and lovely lass,
She’s kind and quiet, pure as snow.
Her ways are mocked by everyone
That Landon Carter cares to know.
 
But when his “friends” can’t help him much,
He begs her help to learn his lines.
She offers Christian aid and such,
But is disheartened by the fact
That, out in public, he declines.
Around his friends, he’s just an act.
 
The two of them still play the leads,
Who fall in love within the play,
And Jamie’s character succeeds
In winning over Landon Carter.
Her voice blows everyone away,
And, after that, the lad is smarter.
 
But Landon’s friends do something cruel,
To shame poor Jamie just for sport,
But he stands up for her at school,
Which brings them close but galls his friends.
He asks her dad if they can court,
And, though he’s skeptical, he bends.
 
But Jamie soon admits she’s sick,
Leukemia will claim her life.
But Landon has the nerve to stick
And woos her every chance he gets
Till Jamie says she’ll be his wife.
He loves her till her bright star sets.
 
His time with Jamie made him better;
It gave him dreams and lifelong goals.
He’s never sorry that he met her,
Although she vanished like a wraith.
Their love fulfilled their youthful souls
And helped him understand her faith.
______________________
 

A Walk to Remember is a high school love story that, on the surface, may seem formulaic and weepy, but, upon a closer look, becomes a beautiful romance and tale of transformation that is more touching than most. I particularly like this Nicholas Sparks adaptation over his other more well-known one The Notebook because of the morality central to the story. Unlike the out-of-control preacher’s kids in movies such as Footloose, Jamie Sullivan exemplifies so many virtues that anyone who values faithfulness and authenticity should find her attractive, beyond Mandy Moore’s physical beauty.

Landon’s redemption and love for her are also made more genuine by the fact that he shows his love. In contrast to love-at-first-sight stories like The Notebook, he brushes her off at first, but, by the end, his growth as a person is evident. He piles flowers on her porch, respectfully asks her stern father for permission to date, builds her a new telescope, tries to grant her list of wishes, and spends every moment proving his undying affection for her. Even after she’s gone, he remains an upstanding citizen, holding her memory as his inspiration in life. (Compare this with the way Ryan Gosling’s character went sharply downhill without the love of his life in The Notebook.)

The acting is shaky at first, but everyone grows into their characters nicely, and Shane West and Mandy Moore have undeniable chemistry by the end. Plus, it was nice to see Darryl Hannah and Peter Coyote in a different kind of role for them. Nicholas Sparks’s ability as a writer shines with the quirks he builds into the characters, such as Jamie’s list of things to do before she dies, an event that comes too soon. The end is bittersweet but much more uplifting than other films with similar outcomes, such as 1998’s City of Angels.

While the filmmakers had to add in some obscenities in order to make it more than a Hallmark movie or a low-budget Christian film, Jamie’s laudable faith and Landon’s satisfying turn-around make it a movie that’s a tad corny but well worth seeing. Plus, though I don’t care for Landon’s preferred music at the beginning, the film has a pretty good soundtrack, highlighted by Mandy Moore’s performance of Switchfoot’s “Only Hope.” Also, according to Wikipedia, most critics panned the film, but it is the 28th most liked film on Facebook, with good reason.

Best line: (Landon, reading a quote to Jamie from her book) “‘What is a friend? It’s a single soul dwelling in two bodies.’ -Aristotle.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (moral value): +6
Other (language): -2
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #301: Independence Day

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Stuart Little (1999)

08 Saturday Mar 2014

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The Little family’s looking for
Another member to adore,
And George insists his dad and mother
Bring him home a little brother.
 
The only one who “clicks” for them
Is tiny Stuart who’s – ahem –
An orphan mouse who somehow speaks;
He is the one the family seeks.
 
They take him home, but George is stunned
And walks off, leaving Stuart shunned.
Their cat named Snowbell must remember –
Never eat a family member.
 
Since Stuart’s small, one can suppose
That risks abound, like washing clothes.
It seems he just cannot fit in
With all his newfound next of kin.
 
But when he finds his brother’s room,
He plays with George, dispelling gloom.
They’re soon real brothers and embark
On racing boats in Central Park.
 
Though George’s rival tries to cheat,
Small Stuart hazards to compete
And helps his brother’s boat to win;
At last, it seems he does fit in.
 
But then two mice come for the lad
And claim to be his mom and dad.
He joins them, thinking that they are,
And leave in George’s own toy car.
 
They soon find out those mice, the Stouts,
Were lying. (Who else had their doubts?)
It turns out Stuart’s family group
Died in a mishap with some soup.
 
Snowbell had bargained with a cat
To somehow get the mouse to scat.
The Stouts got Stuart from the house;
Now Smokey wants to kill the mouse.
 
The Stouts admit their subterfuge
And warn him of the cat deluge
That’s on its way to make him chow;
He knows that he’s a Little now.
 
In Central Park, the cats attack,
But he evades them and gets back
To where all Littles know they’ll find
Their home, but Snowbell is unkind.
 
He lies and ousts him out of spite,
While Stuart’s folks are out that night.
They’re searching for their missing son.
Snow soon feels bad for what he’s done.
 
The cats chase Stuart up a tree.
On eating him they all agree.
But Snow redeems himself as a pet,
And all the bad cats end up wet.
 
The cat and mouse, no longer foes,
Go to the home each Little knows.
Relieved, they all are glad to be
One happy Little family.
__________________
 

Stuart Little is a great family film based on the classic children’s book by E. B. White, though it has a different plot and ending. The Oscar-nominated special effects that bring Stuart and the Stouts to life are amazing, even if their computerized origin is obvious at times. The speaking effects for the cats are almost better than those in Babe, and I love how the cats were clearly trained to do all their own stunts, so to speak.

While the human characters’ speech sounds like dialogue from a kids’ book, the best lines and moments go to Stuart (Michael J. Fox), Snowbell (Nathan Lane), and the alley cats (Steve Zahn as Monty, et al.). The script (which was worked on by some surprising names, such as M. Night Shymalan and David O. Russell) is chock full of great lines that anyone can use in day-to-day conversation, such as Snowbell’s “Talk to the butt” and Monty’s ingratiating “Pleeease.” Almost every character is likable in some way, even Smokey since he reminds my family of my mom’s old cat. Who would have foreseen, though, that Hugh Laurie (Mr. Little) would go on to play that jerk doctor on “House”?

The lovable characters, quirky concept, message about family and belonging, and dearth of anything objectionable make Stuart Little a marvelous film for families to enjoy together.

Best line: (one of the alley cats, when Stuart is hanging from a branch) “It’s mouse on a stick. I love mouse on a stick.”

VC’s best line: (toy salesman describing the Ben action figure’s clothes) “There are many moods of Ben.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (nothing objectionable; I just like other films more): -5
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Next: #302: A Walk to Remember

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)

06 Thursday Mar 2014

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Lupin III is a gentleman thief,
Who’s known for his heists and his charm.
He robs a casino but gets away clean,
Even after he prompts the alarm.
 
But soon he realizes the bills are all fake,
And so he decides to explore
The source of these infamous “goat bills” he found,
Which he, as a thief, can’t ignore.
 
The tiny Grand Duchy of Cagliostro
Is where Lupin heads with a pal.
They soon see a girl being chased in a car
And follow the thug-pursued gal.
 
They save her from gun-toting goons and a cliff,
But still she is kidnapped away.
They go to a castle that Lupin remembers
And locate a place they can stay.
 
The girl was Clarisse, the small country’s princess,
Who is scheduled to marry a count.
She met and helped Lupin a few years ago,
A story he’s loath to recount.
 
The count needs her ring, which she gave to Lupin,
So he sends out his own ninja squad.
The duo escape and then plan their break-in
Of his castle that’s sure to hold fraud.
 
The brusque Zenigata, who’s with Interpol
And who’s vowed to catch Lupin one day,
Is lured by the thief to the danger-filled castle.
It’s a game Lupin knows how to play.
 
He uses his foe as a way to get in,
Though the agent falls through a trap door.
Then, climbing the roof, Lupin gets to the tower,
Which no one has managed before.
 
He woos sweet Clarisse, who is scared to escape
(With good reason); the Count soon arrives.
He drops the thief into a fathomless pit,
But the capable Lupin survives.
 
He meets Zenigata deep down in the crypt,
Where snoopers like them lie in piles.
Agreeing to peace till they both can get out,
They outsmart the Count and his wiles.
 
They find the Count’s presses for printing fake cash,
Intended for Beijing to Cairo.
With guards on their heels, they escape from their jail,
Abducting the Count’s autogyro.
 
Assisted by Fujiko, Lupin’s ex-lover,
They hover to rescue Clarisse.
Though Lupin is shot by the Count and his men,
The good guys get out in one piece.
 
Count still has Clarisse, so, as Lupin recovers,
He plans how to get her released.
His friends crash the wedding (which is televised),
While Lupin’s disguised as the priest.
 
In all of the chaos and strife, Zenigata
Goes in so the whole world can see.
He shows off the bills and the counterfeit presses,
Exposing the Count on TV.
 
But Count Cagliostro is busy with Lupin,
Who’s fleeing the scene with Clarisse.
He chases them into a giant clock tower
And bars any chance of release.
 
At last, with them cornered, the Count gets the ring,
As to the clock face he clings.
He causes the duo to plunge in the lake
And finds the secret of the rings.
 
His actions start draining the lake down below
And move the clock’s hands till he’s crushed.
An old Roman ruin is slowly revealed
As most of the water is flushed.
 
This treasure’s too precious (and massive) to steal,
And Lupin will need a headstart;
The thief bids the lovely Clarisse an adieu,
Stealing only the princess’s heart.
_____________________
 

The Castle of Cagliostro has the distinction of being the first feature film directed by famed anime master Hayao Miyazaki, several years before he even founded Studio Ghibli. His talent is evident in the interesting characters, exciting action scenes, and detailed plot. The animation is solid, with some of his artistry showing in the natural scenes and the mountainous backdrops, though some scenes are inconsistent as far as quality. I mainly appreciate Miyazaki’s reimagining of these characters, who are based off a Japanese manga series which was inspired by Maurice LeBlanc’s French literary character Arsene Lupin (the French equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes). From what I’ve read, the usual depiction of Lupin III was as a less sympathetic lecher, and the other characters tended to be less likable as well. While Miyazaki’s revisionism for this film was not universally well-received, he did a good thing in my book, downplaying the negative qualities of the characters.

While common physics sometimes takes a backseat for the action, the exciting scenes are vastly entertaining, like the movie as a whole. Lupin’s injury midway through helps to ground the story in some semblance of real-world danger, even if he does recover unusually fast.

The film is also a showcase of Miyazaki’s influence on other animation. The fight amid the clock tower’s inner gears and the final showdown on its face was clearly borrowed by Disney for the end of The Great Mouse Detective a few years later, and the end scene with the draining water revealing a lost city was an admitted influence on a similar scene in Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

The most recent dub that I saw is quite good, but with one big caveat: the language. The film is almost family appropriate by itself, but whoever translated the dialogue apparently felt they had to add in profanity for some reason. This bugs me to no end, since the obscenities add nothing and could easily be removed. Language aside though, the film is a classic in the James Bond style and one of Miyazaki’s most entertaining movies.  (No best line, sorry.)

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (language): -9 (it’s worse because it’s almost a family film otherwise)
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #303: Stuart Little

© 2014 S. G. Liput

The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

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Francis Ouimet is a caddy
At a Massachusetts club,
Where he’s used to high-brow members
Giving him a haughty snub.
 
Francis witnessed Harry Vardon
When the caddy was a boy.
Meeting such a famous golfer
Made golf something to enjoy.
 
Over years, the lad has practiced;
Now it seems he has a chance
For a coming tournament,
But he’s scorned at in advance.
 
Even Francis’ father makes him
Swear to stop golf if he fails.
When he doesn’t qualify,
Francis sadly enters sales.
 
Two years later, he again
Is offered up a chance to play.
This time it’s the U.S. Open,
But he answers with a nay.
 
Yet, when Francis quickly hears
That Harry Vardon will compete,
He decides to break his promise
And to challenge the elite.
 
When his caddy cannot come,
Young Eddie Lowery volunteers.
Though he’s just a chubby kid,
He pep-talks Francis through his fears.
 
Harry Vardon quickly moves
With friend Ted Ray into the lead.
Many people think, with them,
A win for England’s guaranteed.
 
But the snobs who watch and judge
Are soon surprised by Francis’ gains.
In the end, he does quite well;
In fact, a three-way tie remains!
 
Vardon calms his own unease
Of being good enough to play.
Ray thereafter “drops the ball,”
And two will putt the final day.
 
Francis and his hero vie
To win the title, calm the dread,
And, upon the final hole,
Francis wins one stroke ahead.
 
Everybody’s shocked but cheered;
An amateur has won such fame!
Francis’ father now respects
His son’s success and love of the game.
______________________
 

The Greatest Game Ever Played is typical underdog sports fare, which manages to still be quite unique because, rather than the usual football or basketball or baseball story, it’s about everyone’s favorite sport, golf. Directed by Bill Paxton, this film offers an interesting view of the game, often using different camera angles, such as presenting a putt through the “eyes” of the ball. Plus, the production values and cinematography recreate 1913 much more convincingly than the effects-laden past of Peter Jackson’s King Kong.

The acting is also wonderful, particularly Shia LaBeouf as Francis Ouimet, proving that, yes, he can indeed act. His relationships with his parents, Eddie, his wealthy girlfriend Sarah, and his hero/rival Harry Vardon are all well-developed and touching in different ways. While his father’s disparagement of his talent is disconcerting (I guess he thought only things that make money are worthwhile), his final come-around at the end is utterly touching and brought a tear to my VC’s eye. While the continual arrogance of the aristocrats who insist golf is strictly a “gentlemen’s game” gets old fast, I appreciate the way the filmmakers humanized Francis’ opponents Harry Vardon and Ted Ray. They could have easily been made unlikable competitors, but both were given their own eccentricities and troubles that make the audience root for them as well.

It isn’t the most exciting film, but golf isn’t the most exciting game either. This, along with Tin Cup, makes up pretty much the entirety of The Golf Channel’s movie lineup, but Greatest Game is not just a great golf movie; it’s a great movie, period.

Best line: (Harry Vardon, to the head pompous “gentleman”) “Let me tell you something. I came here to win a trophy. And on the face of it Ted Ray or I should carry it off. Not for you, not for England, but for sheer bloody pride at being the best, that’s why we do this. And if Mr. Ouimet wins tomorrow, it’s because he’s the best, because of who he is. Not who his father was, not how much money he’s got, because of who he bloody is! And I’ll thank you to remember that. And I’ll thank you to show the respect a gentleman gives as a matter of course.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 4
Watchability: 6
Other (brief language and early slowness): -3
 
TOTAL: 31 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #304: The Castle of Cagliostro

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

King Kong (2005)

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

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Depression-era New York City – that is where our story starts
With lovely actress Miss Ann Darrow having trouble finding parts.
Both work and food are scarce to find, though some demeaning jobs still pay,
But Miss Ann Darrow will not stoop (except to steal some fruit one day).
 
Then Carl Denham joins the scene and offers Ann the perfect role,
The female lead in his next film, the tools of which (turns out) he stole.
The film’s producers doubt his skill, and so, before they shut him down,
He leaves with Ann and his film crew aboard a freighter out of town.
 
He also tricks his “pal” Jack Driscoll, who’s a writer Ann admires,
Into staying on the ship to write the script that Carl requires.
The ship sails on to who-knows-where, according to a cryptic map
That Carl has, which leads to fortune or perhaps into a trap.
 
While Ann and Jack grow close on ship, the crew exhibits trepidation,
Particularly when they learn “Skull Island” is their destination.
Soon they run into some rocks and narrowly avoid a wreck.
When Carl’s crew then go ashore, the captain lets him risk his neck.
 
They meet some dark malicious natives, and they pay a bloody price,
But Englehorn, the captain, comes and stops the hostiles’ sacrifice.
They try to leave, but several natives come aboard and kidnap Ann.
She’s taken to a giant wall and lowered by the wicked clan.
 
A giant ape appears and takes her, just before her friends arrive,
So Englehorn sends out a group to quickly bring her back alive.
With Carl’s movie crew along to film what marvels may await,
The rescue team soon realizes this land holds creatures out-of-date.
 
The great gorilla shakes poor Ann and takes her to his cliffside haunt.
To keep him calm, the girl performs her vaudeville acts she hopes he’ll want.
He likes his toy but plays too rough, which prompts a firm, emphatic “No.”
He yells a bit but then departs, and Ann is unsure where to go.
 
Meanwhile, Jack and all the rest are facing jeopardy as well.
When Carl films some dinosaurs, a stampede shrinks their personnel.
A swampy cruise turns deadly too, and, once they’ve left the lethal bog,
They meet the dreaded ape himself, who shakes the humans off a log.
 
The island’s king then seeks his toy and finds Ann threatened by a rival.
He fights a V. Rex trio for her, and she joins him for survival.
A giant insect pit of death comes close to claiming Carl and Jack,
But Englehorn saves them again, though Carl’s film he can’t get back.
 
When Jack goes on to rescue Ann, he finds her with the mammoth brute,
And, with the help of giant bats, they flee, the ape in hot pursuit.
To make the journey all worthwhile, Englehorn and Carl try
To catch the beast; it’s dangerous, but, in the end, they get their guy.
 
Though Ann is sickened by it, Carl puts the giant on display
And turns “King Kong” into the biggest hit, a sellout on Broadway.
Ann’s stand-in and the camera lights turn out to be too much for Kong;
He breaks his chains and finds a world in which the beast does not belong.
 
His rampage trashes New York’s streets, as Kong goes searching for dear Ann.
She comes to him, and their odd friendship gets as touching as it can.
But then the army trucks arrive, and Kong takes Ann to lofty heights
And scales the tall Empire State Building so that they can see the sights.
 
The airplanes come and shoot at Kong, who’s not as mighty as he’s been.
He saves Miss Darrow from a fall, but, in the end, the airplanes win.
His body plummets to the ground, and people gather where he’s sprawled,
But Ann, who still has Jack, will miss the beast her beauty so enthralled.
___________________________
 

Some films are so classic that the mere thought of a remake is sacrilegious simply because there is no way for them to possibly be done better; such is the case for Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, or It’s a Wonderful Life. But if any old movie deserved, in fact demanded, a blockbuster makeover, it was 1933’s King Kong. The special effects in the original are certainly amazing and even manage to impress by today’s standards, but a modern version was certainly understandable, considering the mixed reviews garnered by Dino De Laurentiis’s 1976 remake. And who better but Peter Jackson to bring Kong to life and turn this 72-year-old story into an epic?

The whole film is a special effects extravaganza and is perhaps too much. The 1930s opening recreates that time very well, but it has a distinctly modern feel too; it looks like a modern reproduction of Depression-era New York rather than the actual thing. The acting is all right with the main standout being Naomi Watts, who manages to scream as effectively as and much less frequently than the original’s Fay Wray. Jack Black plays a good con artist in Carl Denham but seems out of place in the epic way Jackson presents the story (his final famous line falls FLAT as can be), and most of the other actors are just there basically to meet their uniquely grisly deaths on Skull Island. The biggest improvement over the original, besides the digital effects, is the relationship between Ann Darrow and Kong. It’s much less one-sided here than in the 1933 version, with Ann clearly caring for the ape almost as much as he cares for her, but in a more protector/damsel way rather than in a strange sexual way. Thus, it is more of a beauty-and-the-beast friendship than a romance.

The special effects are certainly the film’s biggest draw, with the sauropod stampede and the Kong vs. V. Rex fight being the jaw-dropping marvels of the film. The latter is one of the most exciting scenes in recent years for sure.

Despite all these pluses, the film drags on way too long. Considering what Jackson has done with The Hobbit of late, he maybe could have broken this film into three parts too. Nearly every scene, especially some unnecessary slow-motion ones, could have been trimmed in some way, shortening the film as a whole. Plus, the savage natives’ attack and the insect pit scene indulge too much in Jackson’s proven love of horror and are honestly hard to watch. Plus, there’s plenty of language, and the end is just sad, without any real moral aside from the fact they should have left Kong on the island. Still, for sheer spectacle, King Kong is a wonder to behold. Jackson made The Lord of the Rings so he could fund this film; it probably should have been the other way around.

Best line: (Carl) “Ann, I’m not that kind of person.”  (Ann) “Oh really, then what kind of person are you, Mr. Denham?”  (Carl) “I’m someone you can trust; I’m a movie producer.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (language and violence): -8
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Next: #305: The Greatest Game Ever Played

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Horse Whisperer (1998)

04 Tuesday Mar 2014

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When Judith and Grace
Try to go for a ride
Astride Pilgrim and Gulliver out in the snow,
They climb up a hill,
But the horses just slide.
Then a truck comes along going too fast to slow.
 
Judith and her horse
Are killed upon impact,
But Pilgrim and Grace are both injured and sore.
Grace loses a leg,
And a vet says, in fact,
That it’s better for Pilgrim to suffer no more.
 
But Grace’s mom Annie
Refuses consent,
For she can’t make that choice when her daughter’s so hurt.
But Grace soon becomes
A depressed malcontent,
And they each think the other one treats them like dirt.
 
Meanwhile, poor Pilgrim
Is savage and scarred,
And the sight of young Grace only fills him with fear.
So Annie decides,
Though the trip will be hard,
She must go to a pro on Montana’s frontier.
 
Forsaking her husband,
With whom she’s at odds,
Annie drives both the horse and her daughter out west
To horseman Tom Booker,
Whom a magazine lauds
As a “horse whisperer” who can calm the distressed.
 
He doesn’t expect her,
But, seeing the horse,
He says Grace must help out before he proceeds.
The therapy starts,
And Tom doesn’t use force;
He gives Pilgrim the distance and love that he needs.
 
Tom’s brother invites
The New Yorkers to stay
In the ranch’s guest quarters while Tom does his work.
So little by little,
Tom’s efforts do pay,
And soon Pilgrim’s no longer going berserk.
 
But little by little,
It seems Annie’s growing
More closely attached to this handsome cowboy.
And Grace also lets
Her own smile start showing.
They find that this new way of life they enjoy.
 
It’s still difficult
For both Pilgrim and Grace
To get over the trauma that brought them so low,
And yet, with Tom’s help,
They both learn to face
All the fears and distress that they couldn’t let go.
 
Though Annie is torn
By her love for dear Tom,
Who returns her emotion but doubts it’s enough,
She decides to depart
And remain wife and mom,
And Tom watches her leave from a large grassy bluff.
___________________________
 

Since today is my VC’s birthday, I felt it only appropriate to include one of her favorite movies on this day of my film countdown. Honestly, she loves this movie way more than I do, probably putting it in her top 50. I’m more cool toward it, but I’ll still admit that Robert Redford is as charming as ever as Tom Booker and actually does a nice job as both actor and director.

I don’t love, love, love this movie like my VC, simply because it is somewhat of a chick flick and a long and slow-paced one at that. Still, there is much to admire, mainly in the acting and cinematography. Kristin Scott Thomas as Annie gets more likable as the film goes on, and Scarlett Johansson shines in one of her early roles as the traumatized Grace. The scenery of the Montana ranch is breathtaking and truly glorious. Plus, the birds-eye views of the highway snaking through the countryside during Annie’s road trip across America offer unique perspectives I haven’t seen elsewhere.

I also appreciate the moral ending. I mentioned in my post on Witness that the end of that film was unsatisfying since the Amish woman had already slept with John Book, acting on her passions, before deciding to remain Amish as if nothing had happened. Here, Annie is clearly tempted by Tom, and he by her, but neither does anything to really put the other over the edge. In the end, her leaving is sad but more understandable since she was essentially stopping herself before their romance went too far. This decision wasn’t popular with some critics, but it’s one that I respect much more than the one in Witness.

Overall, The Horse Whisperer is a well-made film with magnificent vistas and an interesting view of a way of life foreign to most, one that, like the Amish lifestyle, I do not envy for myself but I certainly admire. I will say, though, that this romance will mainly appeal to Robert Redford fans and horse enthusiasts, like my VC.

Best line: (Annie) “I don’t jog, Mr. Booker, I run.”  (Tom) “Well that’s lucky for you. The grizzlies around here mostly go for the joggers.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 4
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 4
Other (language): -3
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #306: King Kong (2005)

© 2014 S. G. Liput

The African Queen (1951)

03 Monday Mar 2014

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When World War I had scarce begun
The Germans were superior
In Africa’s interior,
Where they assumed that they had won.
Their killing spree makes natives flee
Away from the Ulanga stream
And from a missionary team,
Two British siblings, scared but free.
 
The foes’ control does take its toll
On Samuel, who gets sick and goes
To God and leaves his sister Rose,
Who hates the Germans as a whole.
And yet Rose soon receives a boon
When Charlie Allnut joins the scene
Aboard his boat the African Queen
And rescues her that afternoon.
 
This British pair are quite aware
They’re in unfriendly territory,
But their steamboat’s inventory
Gives to Rose a plan to share.
Rose tells her host what matters most
Is, in this land of tropic beauty,
To do their patriotic duty,
And fight the Germans near the coast.
 
Her forceful vote is to devote
The ship to be a bomb of sorts,
In hopes their crazy mission thwarts
The Queen Louisa, a big gunboat.
Though Allnut doubts what she’s about,
He does agree to aid her quest,
And, with some coaxing, he is pressed
To sail down by a risky route.
 
They steam on fast and sail right past
The German guns at Shona’s fort
With minor damage to report,
And, after that, are not harassed.
The next speed bump for them to trump
Is rapids, three whitewater falls,
And, by the end, the paddle stalls,
Which throws their plan into a slump.
 
While they are stayed to fix a blade,
A romance clearly has begun.
The rapids turned out to be fun,
And they grow close in their crusade.
They next get stuck within some muck
Around the river’s delta mouth,
And their whole enterprise goes south,
As they are lost and out of luck.
 
A quick downpour saves them before
They meet their end, so Charlie then
Creates their planned torpedo when
They’re ready to engage the war.
Their plan embarks that night, but hark!
Their launch becomes a big mistake;
A storm blows up upon the lake
And sinks the Queen in rain and dark.
 
Charlie, then Rose are saved by foes
Aboard the target ship Louisa.
So Rose decides to quickly seize a
Chance to tell, so someone knows.
The girl’s harangue confirms they’ll hang.
The couple beg the captain to
First marry them before they do;
They then are ready, but then BANG!
 
The sunken Queen does intervene.
The two ships luckily collide,
And their bomb strikes Louisa’s side
And helps them get away unseen.
As Rose had vowed, they stood unbowed,
Prepared to die, but each survives
And they both plan to share their lives,
Now having done their country proud.
_______________________
 

The African Queen is a wartime adventure starring Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in roles perfectly suited for them. While I like Katherine Hepburn on the whole, I’m not a big fan of Bogie, finding his typical presence so “iconic” that it’s rather boring. But his performance as Charlie Allnut here is out of type, rough and uncouth but still attempting to be a gentleman in his own way. Perhaps that’s why he won his only Oscar for The African Queen.

The two’s romance is well-handled, developing gradually from initial distant uneasiness to excited camaraderie as they share in the toils of their trek. I also admire the difficulties endured by the cast and crew as they withstood sickness and much difficulty shooting many parts of the film on location in central Africa. While the climax involving the African Queen’s “vengeance” of sorts is different from the ending of the book on which the film is based, I actually think it was a nice touch that helped compress several events, such as the couple’s marriage and the sinking of the Queen Louisa. Still, as with many old movies from the 1950s and earlier, I thought the film ended rather abruptly and could have used some additional scene, perhaps of Rose and Charlie making it to shore.

All in all, while it’s not quite as exciting as a description makes it sound, The African Queen nonetheless offers a wonderful blend of humor, action, and romance that the whole family can enjoy.

Best line: (the Louisa’s captain as he marries Rose and Charlie) “By the authority vested in me by Kaiser William II, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 3
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #307: The Horse Whisperer

© 2014 S. G. Liput

Moonstruck (1987)

03 Monday Mar 2014

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Loretta Castorini is Italian and it shows
In the bickering of father Cosmo and her mother Rose,
In the frank, straightforward way that she insists he do it right
When her boyfriend Johnny suddenly proposes one odd night.
But Johnny’s rather hesitant to want to set a date,
And he has to leave for Sicily; his mother’s death won’t wait.
 
Before he goes, he begs his bride to call his brother Ronny,
Who’s held a grudge for many years against his brother Johnny.
Loretta visits Ronny at his bakery and pad,
And she learns he blames his brother for an accident he had.
When Ronny was engaged, his brother came to buy some bread,
And the slicer chewed his hand off and his dear fiancée fled.
 
Ever since, he has been bitter, and he hollers at Loretta,
Who is unimpressed with Ronny and his ludicrous vendetta.
When she cooks a steak for Ronny and explains his life to him,
Ronny sweeps her off her feet and promptly beds her on a whim.
Both Ronny and Loretta and her family all swoon
When they see the aphrodisiac that is the shining moon.
 
When morning light arrives, Loretta instantly regrets
Her own passion, and the fact that Ronny loves her now upsets.
She still agrees to go with him to La Boheme that night
And, after confession, primps herself so she will look just right.
That night, both she and Ronny meet each other at the Met,
And she notices her father with a date that makes her fret.
 
When Ronny gives a speech on love and bids her come to bed,
She falls again, unlike her mom who curbs temptation’s spread.
But Johnny’s back from Sicily; his mother’s gotten better.
He needs to tell her something that cannot be said by letter.
When Loretta comes back home, her mother knows what she has done,
And they wait for Johnny’s entrance, but he’s not the only one.
 
First, Ronny shows up, wanting to announce that they’re a pair,
Then Cosmo grudgingly agrees to end his own affair.
The grandpa, aunt, and uncle come and fill the kitchen table,
Then Johnny shows and says, as far as marriage, he’s unable.
If he marries, he’s afraid his mom will die, so Ronny moves
And proposes with his brother’s ring, and everyone approves.
__________________________
 

Moonstruck is a romantic comedy that presents a quirky snapshot of Italian life in New York, minus the car bombs and shootings of a certain other film about Italian Americans. Cher is enjoyable to watch in her Oscar-winning performance, one of the few to win Best Actress for a comedy. Nicholas Cage also stand out as Ronny Cammareri, as do Olympia Dukakis as Rose and Vincent Gardenia as Cosmo. The film is loaded with excellent quotes, from Cosmo’s rehearsed oration about copper pipe to Cher’s classic “Snap out of it!” when Ronny professes his love. Not to mention, my VC and I both love the wacky mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of Loretta’s expressive but loving family, Cosmo’s throwing up his hands and insisting “I don’t wanna talk about it,” Johnny constantly forgetting his bags. The grandfather’s reaction to the kitchen table conversation at the end is just hilarious.

All that said, I don’t care for a main aspect of the “romance.” Loretta and Ronny’s liaison seems centered on making love, which, while passionate, seems to build their relationship on lust rather than real love. They hardly know each other during their first tryst, and there isn’t a whole lot of connecting before the next one either. Loretta is clearly attracted to him in a better way, but Ronny’s impassioned speech ends with “get in my bed,” which is kind of a letdown since Loretta’s main appeal to him is apparently just sex. Still, faithfulness is nicely extolled in Rose’s refusal to cheat on her own philandering husband.

I also appreciate the filmmakers’ comparative restraint concerning nudity and language, which allows the ingenious screenplay to shine without a bunch of unnecessary profanity. Moonstruck is an entertaining film that features some great performances and dialogue and pokes fun at Italian eccentricities that everyone should get a kick out of. (Again, my VC would have it much higher on her list.)

Best line (a hard choice): (Cosmo) “You’ll have your eyes opened for you, my friend.”
(Johnny) “I have my eyes open.”
(Cosmo) “Oh yeah? Well, stick around. Don’t go on any long trips.”
(Johnny) “I don’t know what you mean.”
(Cosmo) “I know you don’t. That’s the point. I’ll say no more.”
(Johnny) “You haven’t said anything!”
(Cosmo) “And that’s all I’m saying.”

 

VC’s best line (in reference to an earlier line): (Rose) “Do you love him, Loretta?”
(Loretta) “Aw, ma, I love him awful.”
(Rose) “Oh, God, that’s too bad.”

 

Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
Other (language and Ronny’s apparent shallowness): -6
 
TOTAL: 30 out of 60
 

Next: #308: The African Queen

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#310: The Karate Kid (1984)

02 Sunday Mar 2014

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When Daniel LaRusso moves to the west coast
From New Jersey because of his mom,
He isn’t too pleased with the run-down apartment
And shows it and yet remains calm.
 
His feelings start changing when kids his own age
Invite Daniel to beach party fun.
Attracted to Ali, who’s lovely and rich,
He thinks a good thing has begun.
 
But then her ex-boyfriend named Johnny shows up
And pummels poor Dan to the ground.
From then on, our hero is picked on and bullied
Whenever adults aren’t around.
 
But Daniel begins to befriend a repairman
At home by the name of Miyagi.
He knows of karate and thrashes Dan’s foes
When the boy is all battered and groggy.
 
While Daniel is eager to learn how to fight,
Miyagi insists he be smart
And talk to the bullies’ karate instructor,
Who’s ruthless in his martial art.
 
Miyagi suggests that all fighting be done
In a tournament two months away.
The teacher agrees that the violence should stop
But only to train for that day.
 
The next several weeks, Daniel feels like a slave
As he’s told to do chore after chore,
Like waxing and painting and sanding and such,
Which turn out to be something more.
 
These tiresome tasks may at first have seemed dull,
But they train Daniel’s arms and his hands.
With time, Daniel’s balance and technique improve,
And he fathoms Miyagi’s demands.
 
He learns that Miyagi was in World War II
And lost both his wife and his son.
When Dan has a birthday and need of a car,
His caring sensei gives him one.
 
His friendship with Ali, meanwhile, seesaws
Since he fears that he’s too poor for her.
He overreacts but admits his mistake,
And they’re soon just as close as they were.
 
The tournament comes, and the boy does quite well,
And both Daniel and Johnny advance,
But Johnny’s sensei tries to get Daniel hurt,
And he thinks that he’s ruined Dan’s chance.
 
Miyagi, however, helps Daniel recover,
And, back in the ring, Daniel tries
A kick that he noticed Miyagi once doing
And wins both respect and the prize.
______________________
 

The Karate Kid is a typical 1980s underdog tale that is essentially a martial arts version of Rocky set in high school, even sharing the same director as the 1976 boxing classic. Nonetheless, it rises above its overfamiliar plot elements (the newbie in town, the “cool” bullies, etc.) to become an inspiring classic in its own right with a unique young/old friendship found in only a few other movies, such as Up. (I will say that the beginning bears much resemblance to 1987’s The Lost Boys, minus the vampires—one of my VC’s personal favorites.) Many scenes are time-honored favorites, from Miyagi’s “wax on, wax off” lesson to the iconic crane kick that ends the film on an undeniably uplifting note. I also like the way it deepened Mr. Miyagi’s character, pointing an oblique spotlight on the afflictions of the Japanese Americans at Manzanar, as well as the heroism of the Nisei soldiers in Europe. Plus, the soundtrack is pretty good too, featuring hits like “Cruel Summer” and “You’re the Best.”

Despite brief language and some cruel high school antics, The Karate Kid is one of the great underdog stories on film, and, though I have not seen the remake with Jackie Chan, between “Pat” Morita’s quiet portrayal of Mr. Miyagi and Ralph Macchio’s likable if immature Daniel, I doubt it can be done better.

 

P.S.  Sorry for the recent hiatus last week. I had to focus on my taxes, but I hope to make up for it in the (hopefully near) future.

 

Best line: (Daniel) “I’m not by myself. I’m with you.”  (Miyagi) “To make honey, young bee need young flower, not old prune.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 4
Watchability: 7
Other (language): -1
 

Tomorrow: #309: Moonstruck

© 2014 S. G. Liput