Tag Archives: Family

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011)

14 Saturday Jun 2014

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Phineas and stepbrother Ferb are summer’s biggest fans;
They’ve spanned the Tri-State Area with all their clever plans,
From robot selves to giant sharks to rollercoaster rides,
But Mom can never see them, though the duo never hides.
 
Meanwhile, the family’s platypus named Perry sneaks away
To battle Dr. Doofenshmirtz, whose evil fails each day.
These plots can sometimes touch, but until now have never crossed.
When both boys meet ol’ Doof, poor Perry’s secret may be lost.
 
They help him fix his latest scheme, the Other Dimensionator,
Which opens up a portal to a world where Doof’s dictator.
This even more malicious creep exposes Agent P,
And Phineas is shocked that Perry’s lied so rampantly.
 
They flee from both the Doofenshmirtzes, needing help and fast.
They meet their other-dimension selves, both timid by contrast.
To get back home, they seek the aid of those resisting Doof,
Led by their sister Candace, who is hardened and aloof.
 
The Candace from the first dimension also joins the team,
But Perry has been caught, and they must save their monotreme.
Their rescue doesn’t go as planned, and punishment awaits,
But second Candace saves them from their less-than-lucky fates.
 
The first-dimension characters then seize the chance to flee
Through many strange dimensions to their own reality,
But things are not much brighter since the second Doofenshmirtz
Releases robot armies, which nobody else averts.
 
With Agent P’s assistance, his two boys start fighting strong
With the many cool inventions that they’ve built all summer long.
When at last they fight the mastermind, they shut the robots down,
And first-dimension Doofenshmirtz ends up saving the town.
 
The first dimension’s saved, and now the second’s also freed,
And everyone is glad as life and summer can proceed.
Yet Agent P must leave, now that his secret is revealed,
And Phineas and Ferb now wish that he’d remained concealed.
 
In order to still keep their pet, they all somehow agree
To have their memories erased, including Dr. D.
So only Perry can recall how good his two boys are
And how they helped him on the greatest summer day, so far.
_______________________
 

As the placement of this film indicates, I am a huge fan of Disney Channel’s hit cartoon Phineas and Ferb. As I mentioned in my SpongeBob SquarePants review, films based on TV shows are usually a mixed bag, but this one is certainly the best, acting like a culmination of everything the show has excelled at.

First of all, the show itself is downright hilarious, and it thrives most in its running gags, strange little throwaway jokes that get funnier every time they appear, like an easter egg. For instance, in one episode, Buford mentions that a giant robot flamingo is the second biggest flamingo he’s ever seen, and then a while later there’s a whole episode dedicated to the biggest flamingo he had seen. In this TV film, there are a number of details that first-time viewers may not get, such as the giant floating baby heads or the newspaper-reading zebra that calls Candace “Kevin” (boy, that sounds weird), but luckily the film has a nice balance of remaining entertaining to newcomers while catering to longtime fans as well.

As with “Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo,” a very well-thought-out and layered time travel episode, the film tackles the subject of other dimensions with surprising intelligence, reflected even in some minor jokes. What other kids’ film has existentialist trading cards and a line like “Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?” I like how the film and show make the characters more quirky than stupid, like some other cartoons I could mention.

Another reason to love the film is the music. Show creators Dan Povenmire and Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, who voice Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram respectively, are musical geniuses, as far as I’m concerned. I’m amazed at how they’ve been able to include a song in just about every episode, and while they’re not all perfect, they span every genre, and most blend clever lyrics and rhymes with extremely catchy tunes. The film continues this tradition with songs ranging from ’70s-style falsettos to summer-praising ballads to robot destruction rock. The dimension-spanning “Brand New Reality” is my favorite, but “Summer” and “Robot Riot” are close behind.

The film would have worked well as a grand finale for the entire series, but the show continues the clever reworking of its routine storylines to this day. There was supposed to be a theatrical Phineas and Ferb film coming sometime soon, but, if it never happens, at least there will be this gem of a musical comedy to keep fans like me laughing.

Best line (echoing a repeated line from the show): (Carl the intern, at a touching scene near the end) “Sir, are you crying?” (Major Monogram) “No, I’m sweating through my eyes.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 10
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 41 out of 60
 

Next: #208 – Casablanca

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Annie (1999)

12 Thursday Jun 2014

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Young Annie’s a sweethearted orphan
In New York, as sharp as a tack.
Her parents left her with a note and a locket
That make her dream they will come back.
 
The orphanage isn’t too homey.
In fact, it’s all work and no play.
Her “caretaker” Hannigan hates little girls,
Who happen to fill her whole day.
 
When Annie escapes for the first time,
She finds a dog, Sandy, and sings,
But soon she is captured and back with Miss H,
Who plans several new sufferings.
 
But then good luck shines upon Annie
As they get a visit from Grace,
The personal aide to rich Oliver Warbucks,
A tycoon who wants to save face.
 
For Christmas, he’ll take in an orphan,
And Annie is given the prize.
She is unaccustomed to servants and fun
But likes it, to no one’s surprise.
 
While Oliver Warbucks seems stodgy,
She charms her way into his heart.
Before Christmas comes, he decides to adopt her,
In hopes that they never will part.
 
But Annie still hopes for her parents;
Thus Warbucks then puts out a test.
He sets a reward for her folks but attracts
Just fakers, including the best.
 
For Hannigan’s brother is greedy,
So “Rooster” and she play the Mudges.
They fool everyone into thinking they’re real,
And Annie is sad as she budges.
 
But Rooster’s girlfriend blows their cover
And sends them all packing to jail.
So Annie’s adopted, as are all her friends,
And thus ends this musical tale.
___________________
 

For my list, I chose the 1999 Disney television version of the 1977 musical Annie instead of the 1982 film version simply because I saw it first. As I first watched the Wonderful World of Disney, this film became an indelible part of my childhood. It may not have Albert Finney, Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters, who filled iconic roles quite well in the 1982 film, but it still boasts several big stars. These include Kathy Bates as the villainous Miss Hannigan, Victor Garber as “Daddy” Warbucks, Alan Cumming (known to me as Floop and Nightcrawler) as “Rooster,” Kristen Chenoweth as Rooster’s girlfriend Lily, and Audra McDonald as Grace. While McDonald’s casting seems out-of-place considering the time period, it’s interesting that she starred in this TV musical as well as the more recent revival of such productions, the Carrie Underwood version of The Sound of Music, in which McDonald played the Mother Abbess.

Annie is certainly a classic musical, but I couldn’t help but reflect on why. The typical Broadway music is certainly catchy with clever lyrics and strong end notes, particularly the songs “Tomorrow” and “N.Y.C.” Yet it doesn’t have the uniqueness or the masterful acting of musicals like Les Miserables, The Music Man, or My Fair Lady. I suppose what makes it unique is that, unlike most other musicals, the main character and several main singers are real children. These pipsqueak performers have just the right amount of heartwarming charm and sincerity to make the musical something special, just like Annie endears herself to Mr. Warbucks. And, of course, the title role (Alicia Morton in this film) is the most enchanting of all.

Though it left out several unnecessary songs, I also like this TV version because it not only sticks closer to the play’s plot but also often feels like actually watching a Broadway play. Whereas some of the songs in the 1982 Annie became sprawling numbers that could never have happened on a stage, the ones in this film feel contained but as energetic as something seen on Broadway. Some may consider this smaller feel a liability, but I think of it as a strength.

In addition to the musical winning multiple Tony Awards, this 1999 film won two Emmys for Outstanding Choreography and Outstanding Music Direction. It was one of the last TV musicals for a while too, as far as I know. The Sound of Music has luckily rekindled interest in such musicals, just as Les Mis has in the film industry. With an updated version of Annie to be released later this year (starring Quvenzhané Wallis and Jamie Foxx), I’d say the cinematic musical is alive and well.

Best line: (Warbucks, after inviting FDR to Christmas dinner) “I wonder what Democrats eat.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 8
Watchability: 8
Other (music): +4
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #210 – The Poseidon Adventure

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Anastasia (1997)

11 Wednesday Jun 2014

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Anastasia is the daughter of the final Russian czar,
Happy and carefree until there came an evil man bizarre.
For Rasputin sold his soul to see the Romanovs destroyed;
Though his curse was carried out, he fell into an icy void.
 
Anastasia and her grandma were to safety kindly led.
While Grandmother got away, the girl was lost and hit her head.
Now, a decade later, Anya can’t recall her royal caste.
She departs her orphanage to find her future and her past.
 
Guided by her grandma’s necklace and a cute and helpful mutt,
She walks to St. Petersburg, intent on reaching Paris, but
So are two deceptive cons, Dimitri and his comrade Vlad,
Who want one fake Anastasia for reward cash to be had.
 
They convince her she could be the missing princess found at last,
And they journey off to France, where Anya hopes to find her past.
Yet the realization that one Romanov is living still
Wakes Rasputin, now a zombie, to enact his wicked will.
 
Anya, Vlad, and gruff Dimitri barely jump and make a dash
When Rasputin’s glowing minions cause the trio’s train to crash.
Anya then is trained and coached to fit the royal princess mold,
And Dimitri falls in love, although their friendship started cold.
 
As their boat is Paris-bound, Rasputin spoils Anya’s dream,
And she very nearly drowns because of his unholy scheme.
Still in Paris, her grandmother sees too many greedy fakes,
Passing as her Anastasia for one million rubles’ sakes.
 
When Dimitri tries to get the two of them at last to meet,
Her grandmother doesn’t want to, just assuming his deceit.
But Dimitri now is sure that Anya is the real princess.
He succeeds in reuniting both of them through stubbornness.
 
Anastasia finally is home and where she’s meant to be,
And Rasputin has decided he will kill her personally.
He attacks and nearly has her, but Dimitri comes to aid,
Which helps her destroy a relic, breaking that dark deal he made.
 
With Rasputin gone forever, Romanovs are safe at last.
Anastasia and Dimitri then elope extremely fast,
And the once-lost Russian princess has her future and her past.
___________________
 

Anastasia is the only film on my list made by maverick animator Don Bluth because it is the one that comes closest not only to being a Disney movie but also to being of Broadway play quality. I can appreciate The Secret of NIMH, All Dogs Go to Heaven, and The Land Before Time, but they frequently waver between being too childish to too dark for their own good. An American Tail came closest to earning a spot on my list, mainly for its music, though I do also fondly remember The Pebble and the Penguin from my childhood.

Anastasia does have the Don Bluth touch, mainly in the way it presents some dark elements. Rasputin’s selling his soul (assumedly to the devil) and his demonic minions is as troubling as Dr. Facilier’s voodoo conjuring in The Princess and the Frog, and my mom was understandably uncomfortable in letting me see the end at such a young age. Anastasia is one of a group of very different films that stick out in my mind as sharing a traumatic climax in which the villain is graphically evaporated. Quest for Camelot and The Black Cauldron didn’t make it to my list either, but Anastasia has many other factors that make it list-worthy, even though its villain death is perhaps the worst.

The animation is gorgeous. While Bluth’s films don’t always excel at certain aspects, like the fluidity of human faces, the character designs and backgrounds are excellently rendered. The scenes of the royal palace are particularly impressive, as is the exciting train crash sequence. The music is also marvelous and quite underrated, I’d say. It starts off with an initial city-spanning showstopper akin to “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast; later is Rasputin’s surprisingly malevolent but catchy villain song “In the Dark of the Night,” reminiscent of Scar’s “Be Prepared”; and the best of them all is the haunting “Once upon a December,” which has the immersive, spellbinding melody of something from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. All in all, it excels as a musical, and the songs by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty (Seussical) match even Alan Menken’s output.

The voices are also extensive and well-cast, featuring Meg Ryan as Anastasia, John Cusack as Dimitri, Kelsey Grammer as Vlad, Christopher Lloyd as Rasputin, Hank Azaria as Bartok the bat (whose voice makes everything he says funny), and Angela Lansbury as the Empress/Grandmama. Anastasia herself is a great character who I think deserves inclusion among the popular animated princesses.

I don’t care for some of Bluth’s darker inclusions, such as the sometimes nasty instances of Rasputin’s body parts falling off, but this is still the closest he came to a Disney-style movie. Anastasia is a fine film that remains as good as I remember it as a child.

Best line: (Anya, after waking up suddenly and hitting Dimitri) “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else—oh, it’s you. Well, that’s okay, then.”

 
Artistry: 7
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 9
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (dark elements): -5
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60

 

Next: #212 – The Elephant Man

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

07 Saturday Jun 2014

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Both Carmen and Juni are now superspies,
Esteemed for their expertise and their small size.
They’re called in to rescue the President’s daughter
When she gets in danger so her dad will spot her,
But Gary and Gerti, the Giggles, step in
And steal all the spotlight, to Juni’s chagrin.
 
A formal spy banquet gives cause for concern
When Donnagon Giggles, who’s crooked we’ll learn,
Is named the new head of the whole OSS,
When really it should have been Mr. Cortez.
Some magnetic henchmen who do not play nice
Attack and obtain the Transmooker device.
 
Though Juni is blamed for the prized gadget’s loss,
His sister, through hacking, just sidesteps their boss.
They send the two Giggles on some dirty mission
While they take a coveted new expedition.
They’re sent to an island that doesn’t exist,
But when their sub shuts down, it cannot be missed.
 
Their gadgets are useless upon this strange isle,
And after exploring and falling awhile,
They locate Romero, a scientist who
Made hybridized creatures to fill his own zoo.
These beasts run amok while their maker yet hides,
But he proves of use with the news he provides.
 
He built the Transmooker, which hides this whole isle,
And tells how to find it through many a trial.
Once they have fought skeletons, monsters, and Gary,
They get the Transmooker; it’s dangerous, very.
Meanwhile, their parents and grandparents track
Their whereabouts so they can bring the kids back.
 
At last, there’s a standoff between the two sides,
Cortezes and Giggles (Romero besides).
Though Donnagon’s winning, his daughter won’t let
Her father take over the world as a threat.
The villain is fired as OSS head,
And Mr. Cortez gets that honor instead.
Romero connects with his creatures at last,
And all the Cortezes, a team unsurpassed,
Go back home together. (The credits go fast.)
______________________
 

After the initial success of the first Spy Kids, it certainly had the potential to grow into a “keeper” of a franchise, and this sequel just confirmed that. Most people probably like the first one better, but I like Spy Kids 2 more because it ramps up the sheer coolness to new heights and leaves out the loopy weirdness of Floop for the most part in favor of more awesome weirdness.

In many ways, this film feels like Robert Rodriguez’s melting pot, in which he threw so many seemingly random elements that somehow still came together into a coherent and entertaining adventure. There are impressive gadgets, crazy theme park rides, magnet-heads, robot bugs, sea monsters, bottomless volcanoes, a mad scientist, flying pigs, Harryhausen-esque skeletons, miniature crossbreeds, giant crossbreeds, a flying wheelchair, girl power, and even Antonio Banderas’s mustache. The part with the skeletons and mind-reading does feel rather out of place, but any movie that can manage all that so successfully is quite an achievement.

Alexa Vega and Daryl Sabara do just as well here as in the first film, and Steve Buscemi balances silliness and sincerity as Romero. It’s a shame that the villainous Donnagon (Mike Judge), as well as “Uncle” Felix (Cheech Marin), show so little gratitude for the fact that the Cortezes saved them from life as Fooglies in the first film. Yet Donnagon’s two children Gary and Gertie are welcome additions to the Spy Kids lineup, as are Holland Taylor and Ricardo Montalban as Ingrid Cortez’s parents. Plus, Bill Paxton looked like he was having fun in the opening scene at the amusement park.

With so much added to the franchise with this film, it’s a real shame that it degraded so quickly to Spy Kids 3-D. Journey to the Center of the Earth has many scenes clearly meant for 3-D, but it didn’t distract from the film too much. It was nice that Ricardo Montalban got more screen time, but Spy Kids 3-D was so obviously gimmicky and flimsy that its visuals and large cast could not save it from being a big disappointment for a franchise that had seemed to be getting better and better.

Even so, Spy Kids 2 stands out as another fun adventure, once again celebrating family ties. The special effects aren’t perfect but have a unique look that is sometimes reminiscent of Jason and the Argonauts. Plus, that concert at the end in which Alexa Vega sings “Isle of Dreams” is energetic, funny, and deserving of a spot in my End Credits Song Hall of Fame. Good stuff.

Best line: (Gary, and later Juni) “An agent is only as good as his gadgets.” (which is subtly disproved later on)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 7
Originality: 6
Watchability: 7
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #215 – Dances with Wolves

© 2014 S. G. Liput

125 Followers and Counting

 

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008)

05 Thursday Jun 2014

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When Trevor Anderson, a failing volcanologist,
Is visited by nephew Sean, they try to coexist.
A decade earlier, Sean’s father Max just disappeared
While proving geologic theories he had pioneered.
 
They locate Max’s copy of the classic book by Verne,
A Journey to the Center of the Earth, and they discern
That Max saw seismic signals, that are present now as well,
Which sent him off to Iceland, where his brother thinks he fell.
 
Both Sean and Trevor follow where they think Max may have flown,
A closed-down institute where a young woman lives alone.
This Hannah says her father thought Verne’s book was based on fact,
And Max most likely did as well, though why is not exact.
 
She takes them to the mountain where a sensor’s activated,
But lightning traps them in a cave; their journey seems ill-fated.
Descending deeper underground, they find a vacant mine
And, after cruising in some carts, discover gems that shine.
 
The floor gives out from under them, and falling takes a while.
At last, they reach the bottom after mile after mile.
They find a giant, hidden world within the planet’s core,
Just like the book by Verne that they had not believed before.
 
Once they find Max’s body, they know danger is afoot.
The temperature is rising, and the trio can’t stay put.
They sail across the ocean; though Sean ends up blown away,
They all continue northward, having only one more day.
 
Encountering more perils, killer plants and floating stones,
Both Sean and Trevor reunite upon a field of bones.
Escaping from a T-Rex, they and Hannah hitch a ride
On a giant lava geyser that blows all of them outside.
 
The group emerge in Italy in cockamamie style,
And Sean brought back some diamonds that help make the trip worthwhile.
When Sean’s about to leave, his Uncle Trevor then suggests
Atlantis could be next on their potential list of quests.
____________________
 

Journey to the Center of the Earth is one of those special effects overloads that, unlike the Transformers films, doesn’t take itself too seriously. It was never meant to be an Oscar contender or an award winner of any kind; it’s just a flawed but all-around fun movie to watch. It’s definitely an enjoyable ride.

I suppose the main reason that my VC and I like it is Brendan Fraser. He’s a skilled and very likable actor, but his career choices have often been stinkers. In Journey, his campy but sincere acting has the right outlet, unlike George of the Jungle or Furry Vengeance. Josh Hutcherson and Anita Briem also own their roles as Sean and Hannah.

To be honest, much of this we’ve seen before. The continuous falling reminded me of a similar scene in Spy Kids 2, the mine cart is like the climax of Temple of Doom, and the dinosaur scenes aren’t that different from the likes of Dinosaur or Jurassic Park. There are also plenty of plot holes. If the temperature is rising so drastically and has done so before, how do the glowing birds survive? How can a Venus fly-trap without eyes, lungs, or a brain attack and hiss at someone? How can they do all that work, building a raft and such, without sweating much or breathing hard in 100-degree-plus heat? If she isn’t like her father, why is an attractive single lady living alone in a deserted wasteland?

Thus, this is not a film for nitpickers. It’s an entertaining and clean adventure with dazzling effects (originally intended to be seen in 3-D) and a pseudo-scientific backing. I wonder what Verne would think of it? (By the way, I don’t care to see Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Dwayne Johnson isn’t a good enough substitute for Fraser, in my opinion as well as my VC’s.)

Best line: (Sean, in danger, after Trevor’s mention of a rock called schist) “Oh, we’re in deep schist.”

 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 5
Watchability: 9
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #218 – Superman II

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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#220: Pinocchio (1940)

04 Wednesday Jun 2014

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When you wish upon a star,
It can kindle things bizarre.
Like a puppet made of wood
Becoming real.
When Geppetto, cheerful yet,
Made his youthful marionette,
He pronounced his puppet good
And played with zeal.
 
When he wished he had a boy,
To delight in and enjoy,
One Blue Fairy came that night
And filled his wish.
Jiminy Cricket is assigned
So Pinocchio will mind;
He will teach the boy what’s right
And what’s wrong-ish.
 
On his first day out to school,
Young Pinocchio’s a fool;
He’s tricked by a fox and cat
To take the stage.
He performs to quite the crowd,
But to leave is not allowed.
He’ll make his boss rich and fat,
But in a cage.
 
That Blue Fairy, kind and wise,
Comes to him, but he just lies.
Though his nose extends and grows,
She helps him out.
When the puppet’s free to roam,
He is stopped while running home.
Fox and cat again impose
To change his route.
 
He instead wastes time a while,
Acting bad on Pleasure Isle,
But he’s shocked to learn the cause
Of where friends go.
When boys act their worst, alas,
Each becomes a poor jackass.
Though Pinocchio withdraws,
He’s filled with woe.
 
Back at home, Geppetto’s gone;
He is hungry, cold, and wan
Inside Monstro, a great whale
Who causes fright.
In the sea, Pinocchio
Is devoured by Monstro.
Puppet and creator hail
And reunite.
 
Though they both are in a scrape,
That small puppet plans escape.
On Geppetto’s raft, he makes
The beast lose its meal.
On a beach, the group is spilled,
But Pinocchio is killed.
Yet he offered what it takes
To now be real.
_________________
 

Pinocchio is a true classic and is widely considered to be Disney’s greatest masterpiece. You’ll find that not all of Disney’s older films are on my list, notably Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Snow White was chosen as the best American animated film by AFI and is lauded by critics today as well as when it was released, but it’s just not my cup of tea. I have no issue with fairy tale movies, the scenes with the dwarves, or the exciting end, but Snow White herself is entirely too bland, the voice acting is often grating, and the film drips sugar. I think it’s gained most of its accolades solely because it was the first full-length animated film.

In contrast, Disney’s next film Pinocchio offers some saccharine moments but is a vast step forward in character development, entertainment, and animation quality. Pinocchio himself has an actual character arc, and the villains he meets are all colorful and frightening in different ways. The beginning is overtly child-centric (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing), but the end is impressively thrilling, and everything that comes between succeeds in confirming to all bad little boys that they should listen to their parents and consciences. Considering this was only the second animated film released, Disney’s animators pulled off some beautiful pictures and amazingly fluid scenes, from the opener with all the cuckoo clocks to Pinocchio’s walk through the underwater world of Monstro.

I don’t usually think of Pinocchio as a musical, but it does have some charming ditties, including “Give a Little Whistle” and the ever-classic “When You Wish upon a Star.” I especially enjoy Pinocchio’s performance of “I’ve Got No Strings,” which predates The Sound of Music’s puppeteering version of “The Lonely Goatherd” by over twenty years. The songs aren’t on the level of Alan Menken or the Sherman brothers, but they’re memorable nonetheless.

Disney put his indelible stamp on the project and certainly “Disney-fied” the material, leaving out some darker elements from Collodi’s book, such as Pinocchio and Lampwick being tormented to death as donkeys or Pinocchio’s killing of a certain talking cricket. Though, there’s still a good amount of smoking, including by children, that wouldn’t fly nowadays. One interesting thing my VC pointed out was the film’s frequent focus on the posterior as the “butt” of several jokes. It’s certainly tame, but I wonder if back then that was perhaps the only way to “push the boundaries,” so to speak. Either way, it’s something I had never noticed before.

For all the praise I’m heaping on this film, it may seem odd that it is as low as it is on my list. It’s an undisputed classic, but I simply enjoy watching other films more. I can applaud a movie for its artistry and trailblazing, but this list is ultimately based on how I like films overall. It probably deserves better, but regardless, I admire Pinocchio as a milestone in animation that is quite watchable and enjoyable.

Best line: (the Blue Fairy) “Now, remember, Pinocchio: be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide.”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 10
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (I just like other films more): -6
 
TOTAL: 40 out of 60
 

Next: #219 – Journey to the Center of the Earth

© 2014 S. G. Liput

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Fiddler on the Roof (1971)

31 Saturday May 2014

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(Try reading this poem to the tune of “If I Were a Rich Man”)
 
Back in Czarist Russia,
Tevye is a Jewish milkman with three daughters yet to wed.
Though he may be struggling and poor,
Still he keeps his family fed.
Tzeitel is the eldest;
And the matchmaker has found the perfect match, or so she thinks,
Lazar Wolf, a wealthy butcher man,
Though he is quite old and stinks.
 
Tevye goes to see him;
After going back and forth on whether to approve the match,
He assents and both then celebrate,
But there is an unknown catch.
Tzeitel loves a tailor,
Which her father learns once he has spent a night out with the bottle.
Though he’s angry at this sudden change,
He says she can wed her Motel.
 
At his daughter’s marriage,
Tevye sees his second daughter Hodel dancing with a man.
Though this shocks the many wedding guests,
He joins in because he can.
But the celebration
Is disrupted by a group of soldiers, who attack the Jews.
Mostly they harm property and such,
Yet it can’t help but confuse.
 
Later Hodel tells him
She and Perchik want to marry, though he’s leaving for a time.
They seek blessing, not his permission,
And to him, this seems a crime.
Tevye thinks it over:
Things are changing and he might as well accept love will prevail;
He consents, and Perchik leaves for town,
But he soon is sent to jail.
 
Hodel wants to join him
In Siberia and sadly leaves her father and her home.
Tevye’s sad to see his daughter go,
But he bids his child Shalom.
His third daughter Chava
Asks her father to accept her own forbidden love somehow,
But this Gentile isn’t of their race,
And this Tevye won’t allow.
 
They both wed regardless.
Tevye turns his back on Chava and regards his daughter dead.
He will only bend so very far,
Though there are still tears to shed.
Then comes even worse news:
Their town constable declares that all the Jews must quickly leave.
Anatevka must be emptied soon,
And the Jewish people grieve.
 
Tevye and his family
Leave their home to seek America but do not stay aloof.
Their tradition keeps them balanced yet
Like a fiddler on a roof.
_________________
 

Fiddler on the Roof was once the longest-running Broadway musical and certainly deserves its esteemed reputation. While Zero Mostel immortalized the role of Tevye in the original Broadway production, Topol makes the role his own in this film version, having played it in the London production as well. His monologues to the audience and to God, going on and on about what’s “on the other hand,” are absolutely masterful, and the other actors imbue their characters with just the right amount of distinctive charm. Tevye himself is an outstanding character, understanding and willing to concede for the sake of his daughters, yet, though he should certainly draw the line somewhere, it’s unfortunate that his unyielding stand involves forsaking his daughter. It’s a role of a lifetime, and, not having seen Mostel’s version, I can’t envision anyone else in the role.

The film is a first-rate snapshot of an extinct way of life, a time of poor milk men, flighty matchmakers, and rigid traditions that outlaw men dancing with women. In its details, it is also an insightful view of how Scripture can be twisted to mean whatever the interpreter may want and a touching look at how difficult relationships can still be grounded in love. I’ve never understood many people’s hatred of Jews, whether in Czarist Russia or Nazi Germany or even in the present day, and the film doesn’t try to explain the sudden pogrom forced upon the peaceful villagers; it remains as mystifying to the characters as to the audience and just as heartbreaking. This, coupled with Tevye’s rejection of his third daughter, makes the second half of the film a real downer, detracting from its entertainment value.

The best part of a musical is, of course, the music, and Fiddler on the Roof has a very unique sound. Most songs are very Yiddish and Jewish-sounding without becoming repetitive, while others are typical Broadway-style tunes. The opener “Tradition” and “Matchmaker” start the film off with the right mood, and the celebratory “To Life” is a show-stopping number that was much better than I remembered. Some songs carry a special emotional punch to them, particularly “Sunrise, Sunset,” which reflects the feelings of two parents realizing how much their children have grown. While “Tevye’s Dream” leans a bit too far in a surreal direction, the best tune of them all is the aforementioned “If I Were a Rich Man,” which is made all the more memorable by Topol’s energetic performance and rich, deep voice. The film overall has some slow parts and goes on a bit too long, but it’s a grand and humorous musical that extols tradition and its role in keeping us stable in a hectic world.

Best line: (Tevye, explaining the title with the film’s first lines) “A fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? But here, in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy. You may ask ‘Why do we stay up there if it’s so dangerous?’ Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance? That I can tell you in one word: tradition!”

 
Artistry: 9
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 3
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
Other (slow and depressing ending): -3
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #222 – Steel Magnolias

© 2014 S. G. Liput

116 Followers and Counting

 

Remember the Titans (2000)

30 Friday May 2014

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T. C. Williams High School is about to be desegregated,
All for PC reasons no one in the town is for.
When Herman Boone is named head football coach, he’s widely hated
By white men for replacing William Yoast, whom they adore.
 
Boone is black, and Yoast is white, and neither one enjoys the fuss;
Yoast could leave, but he remains to still help flinty Boone.
As the black and white team members gather for the practice bus,
They are told to sit together and to share a room.
 
Summer practice is a bear as Boone exacts a rigid pace,
Saying they must all be “perfect,” just to make the team.
Except for one, they’re distant from those of the other race,
But Boone demands they mingle, making workouts more extreme.
 
Yoast is suspect of this tactic, but it seems to do the trick.
Julius and Bertier become especially close friends.
Although they’re now a unit, eager for some butts to kick,
The town is still indignant as the summer training ends.
 
Though the Titans win some games, Boone knows he’s fired if they should lose.
Bertier is left alone by his white friends for his pal’s sake.
Yet, as the team keeps winning and the Titans make the news,
A few begin to think their enmity was a mistake.
 
While high on recent victory, Bertier endures a sudden crash
That makes him paraplegic and prevents continued play.
He watches as the Titans and their toughest rivals clash
In the final championship, in which the Titans win the day.
 
Boone and Yoast went on to coach their team for several years to come;
Bertier played in the Paralympics and won shot put gold.
Although he died in ’81, he helped his team become
A colorblind success for every high school to behold.
____________________
 

Remember the Titans is one of those inspiring football movies that everyone can root for, even though they already know the inevitably inspiring end. By mixing in the racial tension of the 1970s, the film creates a more difficult conflict to rise above than most sports films. Normally the main conflict has to do with the underdog team surmounting hardships to achieve victory in a final game. While that is certainly present, particularly in the down-to-the-minute Hollywood ending, the Titans end up winning every game they play. The real struggle is not with the opposite team but with the prevailing mindset of the day, of blacks and whites disliking and distrusting each other such that a united team seems impossible. The animosity is well-balanced between the two sides, and while the continued racism of the characters becomes increasingly frustrating as most just don’t “get” it while a chosen few do, seeing such divides fall in the wake of friendship and brotherhood can’t help but bring a smile to one’s face.

Denzel Washington gives one of his best performances as Coach Herman Boone, as does Will Patton, whom I never would have thought of as a football coach based on his subtly smooth voice in other roles (see Entrapment and No Way Out). Washington’s exchange about football being fun (or not) is a great scene that is not nearly well-known enough. I also liked Hayden Panettiere as Yoast’s football-crazed young daughter and Ethan Suplee as Louie Lastik, who seems like the only one without a shred of prejudice, and the rest of the cast fill their roles well enough, though many don’t make as much of an impression.

If you like football movies or films about overcoming prejudice, Remember the Titans is a must. I know it’s because it is a Disney film, but I applaud the fact that the filmmakers exhibited racial tension without a bunch of profanity or even using the N-word, as so many other such films do. In addition, it boasts an excellent soundtrack of ‘60s and ‘70s pop music that serves as a welcome shot of nostalgia, especially when the characters themselves start singing. In addition to the Titans’ famous theme song, I was touched at how they changed the song “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” into a poignant sendoff at a funeral. It may fool with some of the particulars of the true story it is based upon and oversimplify the issues at hand, but it shows that football, almost as much as love, faith, and the like, has the power to bring people together and break down barriers.

Best line: (Boone) “Think you got a future in football?” (Lastik) “Heck, no! I figured as long as I’m going to be in school, I might as well hit some people while I’m at it.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A (there was one car crash, but not much else)
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #223 – Fiddler on the Roof

© 2014 S. G. Liput

116 Followers and Counting

 

The Brave Little Toaster (1987)

25 Sunday May 2014

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A toaster and radio, lamp and a blanket,
As well as a vacuum called Kirby reside
Alone in a mountainside cottage and spend
Their days cleaning up the old cabin’s inside.
 
They dream of the day when their Master will come,
The boy who would play with their dials and chrome.
One day Toaster says they should go on a trip
To the city and locate their Master’s new home.
 
They load on an office chair, battery-powered,
With Kirby propelling them over the fields.
They run into animals after a song,
As well as a storm and the power it wields.
 
Through dangers they travel until they are nabbed
By Elmo St. Peters, who’ll harvest their parts.
They trigger a jail break with their fellow tools
And head for the city with all of their hearts.
 
They find the apartment the Master calls home,
But he will soon leave for his school’s freshman year.
His other appliances, jealous of them,
Send Toaster and friends to the dump when they’re near.
 
So close to destruction, they nearly lose hope,
But Master’s in search of a handy device.
He finds them but nearly is killed by a crusher,
Till Toaster saves him with a brave sacrifice.
 
Delighted to have his appliances back,
Nostalgia drives him to repair the old tool.
Again with the Master, they cruise off to college
To service their owner while he is at school.
___________________
 

Coming out soon after The Great Mouse Detective, The Brave Little Toaster was another sign that Disney was gradually improving its animation department, leading to the Disney Renaissance a few years later. With touches of The Incredible Journey, it also is a clear forerunner of 1995’s Toy Story and included some filmmakers, such as Joe Ranft, that went on to success at Pixar. The idea of inanimate objects coming to life when left alone, pining for their owner, and ending up in a dump no doubt inspired the first and third Toy Story films, and the appliances’ retaliation against Elmo St. Peters is similar to the toys’ revenge on Sid, who also cruelly takes them apart.

To be honest, parts of the movie are very juvenile, particularly the encounter with the woodland creatures, and the first song is okay but rather saccharine. Yet the film gets progressively darker as it goes, with the appliances cheating death on several occasions. Plus, the climax is unusually intense considering its lighthearted beginning, and it features a traumatic clown scene that may induce coulrophobia in the young.

The animation is passable, but the voice actors do a tremendous job creating their respective characters, particularly Jon Lovitz as the overly talkative Radio and Thurl Ravenscroft as Kirby the vacuum cleaner. (I kept expecting the latter to say “They’re grrrrrreat!”) All the characters are also surprisingly well-developed, each one (aside from Toaster) being unlikable in their own way but proving their worth by providing a valuable service during the trek. Plus, you’ve got to love all the appliance humor.

The best part for me is definitely the songs. As I said, the first song “City of Light” is good for what it is, but the songs get increasingly ambitious, rising above the music in other kiddie films. My VC loves “It’s a B-Movie,” and I most enjoy “Worthless,” an extremely catchy tune with a brief saxophone solo and some very serious subject matter when you get right down to it. (I know both by heart.) “Cutting Edge” is also quite good, though it dates the film with its boasting of what was high-tech back then.

All in all, The Brave Little Toaster is an excellent kids’ movie in which adults can find plenty to enjoy as well. For kids at heart, like me, it’s a true classic.

Best line: (Radio; it comes out of nowhere so it’s funniest with no explanation) “Why, if we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 8
Watchability: 6
 
TOTAL: 39 out of 60
 

Next: #228 – Rocky II

© 2014 S. G. Liput

115 Followers and Counting

 

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)

16 Friday May 2014

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When Jared and Simon and Mallory Grace
Move into their great-aunt’s old house,
They are not all pleased with this ominous place
And hear scurrying (not a mouse).
 
Their great-aunt Lucinda went nuts here, they say,
Thinking faeries and goblins were real,
And Jared is eager to leave the next day,
But his family’s less than ideal.
 
He’s mad at his mother for leaving his dad,
But he’s not aware of it all.
When they cannot locate possessions they had,
They find them concealed in the wall.
 
The others aren’t curious; young Jared, though,
Ascends to the attic to look.
He finds a strange field guide composed long ago
With a warning to not read the book.
 
He does and thus enters a world full of faeries,
Disguised and unseen in our own.
He learns this collection of entities varies
From friendly to bad to the bone.
 
He placates the brownie whose nest they revealed
And talks to this small Thimbletack.
He learns there’s a circle that acts as a shield
To keep ogre Mulgarath back.
 
But Simon is kidnapped by goblins outside,
And Jared runs after his bro.
They flee to the circle that guards the field guide,
And Mallory battles the foe.
 
Besieged by the goblins, they try to sneak out
To visit their Aunt Spiderwick.
They talk to Lucinda and ask her about
How best to resolve this, and quick.
 
She tells them that Arthur, her father, who wrote
The field guide, is living somehow.
The faeries have kept him, Lucinda does note,
So they must find Spiderwick now.
 
Astride his pet griffin, they find where he’s been,
But he cannot much help their plight.
So all the Grace children, unsure if they’ll win,
Return for a battle that night.
 
Convincing their mother that faeries exist,
They all plan to fight the foes back.
Since Mulgarath has a guide page to assist,
He strips off their shield to attack.
 
They come through the windows; they come through the floors.
They’re fought with tomatoes and steel.
The Graces do well, being new to such wars,
And melt all the goblins with zeal.
 
When Mulgarath tries to deceive with a trick,
It’s Jared that sees through a goof.
The ogre demands the book by Spiderwick
And chases the boy to the roof.
 
A strength of the ogre’s becomes his demise,
And now that he’s gone, all is calm.
Though he wished to leave, Jared’s come to realize
He’d much rather stay with his mom.
 
The Graces bring home Aunt Lucinda to stay,
But Spiderwick visits his love.
She leaves with her father when he goes away,
And all’s back to normal—sort of.
______________
 

What a coincidence that the day my family moves into a new older home, I watch The Spiderwick Chronicles, a fantasy that begins just so! Based on the book series by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black, the film makes shrewd decisions about what to include, what to drop, and what to alter. The film is fairly faithful to the first book, The Field Guide, as well as the second The Seeing Stone. Lucinda’s Secret and The Wrath of Mulgarath are modified considerably to better fit into the plotline, while the fourth book, The Ironwood Tree, is dropped entirely since it didn’t really add that much to the book series either. Films based on books can either be huge hits due to their faithfulness (The Hunger Games films) or quality (The Lord of the Rings), but, if they are lacking in either respect, they can bomb and never earn enough to garner a sequel (Eragon, Inkheart). The Spiderwick Chronicles falls squarely in the middle of the pack, yet, even though it revises many elements from the books, it has the right tone and overall quality to make it enchanting and entertaining for both fans of the series and non-fans alike.

Freddie Highmore is excellent, as usual, playing twins, the learned Simon, who doesn’t “do conflict,” and Jared, who (apparently not having seen The Mummy) thinks that no harm could come from reading a book. Sarah Bolger, known for playing Mary Tudor on The Tudors, exhibits the right amount of sibling disdain as Mallory, and Mary-Louise Parker is instantly sympathetic as their mother Helen. David Strathairn and Joan Plowright as Arthur and Lucinda Spiderwick round out the human cast with their acting prowess. The voice actors are equally well-cast, from Martin Short as Thimbletack (who doesn’t rhyme as frequently as he should) to Seth Rogen as Hogsqueal and Nick Nolte as Mulgarath.

Upon its release, The Spiderwick Chronicles was criticized for using so much CGI, but I think it’s used judiciously for the most part. The close-up of Jared throwing the Seeing Stone to Mallory wasn’t necessary, but ultimately, the griffin ride was the only scene in which the filmmakers threw in special effects just to show off what they could do. Everything else is used to awesome or scary effect, as is the fitting James Horner score. The final battle in the house is especially thrilling (considering it wasn’t shown in the book), though it’s also surprisingly intense for a Nickelodeon movie, with goblin arms being chopped off and heads melting and so forth. It’s great spectacle, though Mulgarath’s dialogue consists almost entirely of ”Give me the book” over and over again.

Just as the film version of Eragon made one notably welcome addition to the story in having Brom die astride Saphira, this movie improves the final moment between Arthur Spiderwick and Lucinda. Rather than have him just turn to dust like in the books, they are both taken by the faeries to live together forever. It’s much more touching and ends the movie on a high note of poignancy.

The Spiderwick Chronicles indicates there are fantastic things unseen in this world of ours; I haven’t seen any brownies in my house yet, but I’ll keep an eye out. (Maybe I’ll just make some of the chocolate kind.)

Best line: (truck driver, after running over a troll) “Oh, my God! Did I hit someone?” (Jared) “Yes! Thank you!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
Other (some violence): -2
 
TOTAL: 38 out of 60
 

Next: #237 – Unbreakable

© 2014 S. G. Liput

105 Followers and Counting