The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

06 Sunday Apr 2014

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Kuzco is a pompous brat
Who sings and talks about himself.
He isn’t popular for that,
But he’s the one with power and pelf,
And niceness he is clueless at.
 
Kuzco calls a village man
Named Pacha, who is big on heart,
To tell him of his birthday plan
To have his village torn apart
And build a mansion, since he can.
 
Kuzco next goes on to fire
Yzma, his advisor old.
She and henchman Kronk conspire
To steal the throne she’s craved to hold
Once they dispatch their selfish sire.
 
Kuzco drinks yet doesn’t die
But turns into a talking llama.
Kronk, since things have gone awry,
Then gives the emperor head trauma.
So Kronk is told to kill the guy.
 
Kuzco ends up in a cart
Which Pacha takes back to his town.
The peasant says his help will start
When Kuzco will not tear it down,
But he refuses, and they part.
 
Kuzco finds a panther pack,
But Pacha helps him from his bind.
The llama thinks he’s sharp as a tack
And lies that he has changed his mind,
So Pacha swears to take him back.
 
Kuzco, though, reveals his lie,
Before they both fall from a bridge.
They work together, or they try,
To climb back up onto a ridge,
And each assists the other guy.
 
Kuzco, who is hunger-prone,
And Pacha stop for lunch. Unfed,
The llama hears Yzma the crone
Announce she wanted Kuzco dead.
Depressed, he wanders off alone.
 
Kuzco’s cheered by Pacha’s aid,
And both depart for Yzma’s lair.
Though Yzma is by Kronk betrayed,
She tries to stop the motley pair
And hides the human brew she made.
 
Kuzco, Pacha, and the witch
Face off high up in comic style,
But, overcoming every hitch,
Our heroes get the potion vial.
Kuzco drinks the brew to switch.
 
Kuzco’s changed and shows goodwill
By not destroying Pacha’s town.
He finds he can enjoy life still,
And everybody parties down
With Kuzco on another hill.
__________________
 

Ending Disney’s streak of traditionally animated musicals in the 1990s, The Emperor’s New Groove was a completely different animal from previous classics like Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and Mulan. It was straight-up buddy comedy with just the right amount of pathos. Possibly Disney’s funniest movie, The Emperor’s New Groove has more jokes, both visual and verbal, than you can shake a stick at. From Kronk’s ineptitude and his arguments with his shoulder angels to the continual comments about Yzma’s age, the laugh-out-loud moments just keep on coming throughout the 78-minute runtime. By the end, the filmmakers even throw in plot holes and serendipity just to point them out for a laugh.

The voice acting is also some of the best I’ve heard. David Spade is appropriately unlikable yet still funny as Kuzco the talking emperor llama (whose character change is quite satisfying), John Goodman is warm-heartedly sympathetic as Pacha, Eartha Kitt fills Yzma’s every line with scratchy-voiced charisma, and Patrick Warburton is an absolute hoot as Kronk, so much so that he got his own funny but not-as-good sequel in Kronk’s New Groove.

While it would have been nice to see the originally planned film, a typical Disney musical with songs by Sting, The Emperor’s New Groove nonetheless deserves a spot on my list just for the unceasing humor. I remember that Yzma’s transformation at the end left me in stitches the first few times I saw it. It may not be the instant classic that so many other Disney films were, but it’s entertaining from start to finish.

Best line: (Pacha, with Kuzco the llama dressed as a woman in a diner) “It’s our honeymoon.” (monotone waitress) “Bless you for coming out in public.”
 
VC’s best line: (Pacha) “What’d they look like?”
(Townsman #1) “Well, there was this big guy, and this older woman who was… well, how would you describe her?”
(Townsman #2) “Ah, scary beyond all reason?”
(Townsman #1) “Yeah, that’s it.”

 

Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 7
Other (I just like other films better): -6
 
TOTAL: 34 out of 60
 

Next: #274: Hugo

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Dave (1993)

05 Saturday Apr 2014

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The President is William Mitchell,
Popular but quite the swine.
He lies, philanders, cooks the books,
And looks a lot like Kevin Kline.
 
A busy night requires that he
Get a decent look-a-like
To take his place for just a moment
Just in case danger may strike.
 
The Secret Service finds Dave Kovic,
Who could be Bill Mitchell’s twin.
He does a very worthy job
And likes the role that he is in.
 
But, when Bill Mitchell has a stroke,
Bob Alexander, chief of staff,
Decides to keep Dave on for good
And run the land on his behalf.
 
While Dave agrees to play along,
He knows Bob’s whole plan is shady.
No one notices the difference,
Even Ellen, Bill’s First Lady.
 
The pure Vice President is sent on
Some long African peace tour,
And Bob bribes the few who know
To keep his little plot secure.
 
Although it all goes well at first,
Dave soon wants to help out more.
So he tries to cut the budget,
Something Bob cannot ignore.
 
Because she knows her husband’s crooked,
Ellen knows that something’s wrong.
She catches Dave within the lie, but
Both of them still get along.
 
When Dave decides to take the reins and
Help the country as he should,
He fires Bob and tells the press that
He will try to do more good.
 
But Bob has dirt on Mitchell’s scheming,
And he gives it to the press,
Prompting Dave to go to Congress
And, on live TV, confess.
 
He also offers proof that Bob took
Part in all his past misdeeds,
But suddenly Dave passes out,
And his ingenious plan succeeds.
 
Within an ambulance, they switch out
Dave for Bill, still comatose.
The news reports a much worse stroke,
Which clueless doctors diagnose.
 
With Gary Nance, Vice President, now
Stepping up to chief-of-state,
Dave goes back to his normal life,
But better things may still await.
 
For Ellen’s now in love with David,
Joining him in life mundane,
But Dave still dreams of helping more
And plans to launch his own campaign.
_____________________
 

With a title that gives little hint to its plot, Dave is all about Kevin Kline, who plays both President Bill Mitchell and Dave Kovic. Kline is the magic charm that makes the whole film work, portraying both a jerk and a lovable guy who’s in over his head and barely knows it. His eccentricities, such as the way he embellishes the lines and orders given him (or sometimes doesn’t, to comedic effect) are priceless. Yet, his sympathetic idealism is like something out of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and one can’t help but root for his plans, even if he is lying to the whole country throughout the film (due to Bob Alexander, played by the icy Frank Langella).

While his beneficent proposals are pretty unrealistic (putting every single person to work is not really in the government’s power; see the New Deal), it’s nice to see a film point out the flaws in the system in a fairly nonpartisan way. Comments about the unwieldiness of the budget, the unnecessary programs that gobble up millions, and the selfishness of many politicians make Dave a film to be taken seriously, and many cameos by actual congressmen, senators, and news reporters give it a sense of realism.

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Mitchell, Ving Rhames as Secret Service man Duane, Charles Grodin as Dave’s accountant friend (having played one in Midnight Run, Grodin must like playing accountants) and Ben Kingsley as Vice President Nance round out the well-cast roles, and I must say that Kline and Weaver have some winning chemistry. (As a side note, when Dave operates two giant robotic arms, I couldn’t help but think that it’s too bad Sigourney Weaver didn’t get ahold of those and fight a giant alien.) As a comedy, the film is amusing throughout but doesn’t have any standout hilarious scene, like other Ivan Reitman films (Ghostbusters, Stripes). Dave nonetheless is an entertaining Prince-and-the-Pauper look at a fictional Washington conspiracy that thankfully hasn’t really happened. I think.

Best line: (Duane, as Dave and he part ways) “I would have taken a bullet for you.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A (except for one scene with the two Kevin Klines)
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -3
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #275 – The Emperor’s New Groove

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Jungle Book (1967)

04 Friday Apr 2014

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Bagheera the panther is prowling around
The jungle when suddenly he hears a sound,
A helpless man-cub that has need to be found,
And he can’t bring himself to forsake him.
 
He then has a thought of who might raise the child,
A family of wolves that at first may seem wild,
But, with all their cubs, they’re surprisingly mild,
And Bagheera’s relieved when they take him.
 
They name the boy Mowgli, but, after some years,
The threat of Shere Kahn, a great tiger, brings fears
That Mowgli must leave; the black cat volunteers
To take him where more humans dwell.
 
But Mowgli insists that he’d much rather stay;
The jungle’s his home and he can’t run away.
Though dangers like Kaa the snake threaten each day,
The boy’s quick to fight and rebel.
 
Bagheera gives up on the man-cub, annoyed.
Baloo the bear sees a chance he can’t avoid;
He tells Mowgli life should be simply enjoyed,
And both of them get very close.
 
Then monkeys take him to their coolest of kings,
But Mowgli’s friends save him while everyone sings,
When the bear tells him he ought to leave, the truth stings,
And Mowgli flees, sad and morose.
 
Though many tell Mowgli that he need not leave,
Repeated deceit makes him loath to believe.
He’s joined by some vultures, who help him not grieve,
But soon he is met by Shere Khan.
 
The tiger attacks, but Baloo holds his tail,
But, as the cat strikes, Baloo cannot prevail.
Yet Mowgli wields fire to make Shere Khan wail,
And soon the great tiger’s withdrawn.
 
Though hurt, Baloo rises, still quite the wise guy.
Bagheera and he then observe from nearby
As a beautiful girl catches young Mowgli’s eye,
And he follows her home and is gone.
_______________________
 

As the last film that Walt Disney worked on before his death, The Jungle Book is a true classic, and both my VC and I remembered it fondly from our childhoods. It has a number of enjoyable songs from the Sherman Brothers, such as King Louie’s “I Wanna Be Like You” and the vultures’ “That’s What Friends Are For,” but the most memorable tune, “The Bare Necessities,” was actually done by a previously involved songwriter, Terry Gilkyson. The Jungle Book was also one of Disney’s first films to employ several well-known voices, such as radio comedian Phil Harris as Baloo, George Sanders (Rebecca, All About Eve) as Shere Khan, Sebastian Cabot (Family Affair) as Bagheera, musical great Louis Prima as King Louis, and Sterling Holloway (Winnie the Pooh) as Kaa.

While there is no denying The Jungle Book’s status as a classic, I will say that it seemed much slower than my VC or I recalled. The best scenes are the musical numbers and the action scenes with King Louis and Shere Khan; most of what is between these scenes is a tad boring, to be honest. Also, while the film has inspired several fine animators, such as Brad Bird, the thick-lined animation just doesn’t seem to be on the same level as many Disney films that came before, such as Peter Pan or Lady and the Tramp.

Still, where the film most excels is in the characters. Every character with his distinctive voice is indelible in the memory: Baloo, with his original “Hakuna Matata” worldview; Bagheera, who doesn’t get enough credit for essentially saving Mowgli’s life; King Louie, whose monkeying around can’t help but entertain; Shere Khan, with his deep, seductive voice; and Kaa, who gets some of the most visually interesting scenes. The film’s plot is quite loose overall, and it is Mowgli’s interactions with these immortal characters that really make it the classic that it is. While it’s very different in tone from Rudyard Kipling’s original story and it is a clear product of its time (those mop-topped vultures were originally going to be played by the Beatles, if Disney had had his way), Disney’s take on The Jungle Book was the last really good animated film for over fifteen years.

Best line: (Bagheera) “This will take brains, not brawn.” (Baloo) “You better believe it, and I’m loaded with both.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (slow parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #276: Dave

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Innerspace (1987)

03 Thursday Apr 2014

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Lieutenant Tuck Pendleton has a new mission:
To go on a small rabbit-themed expedition.
A skilled team of scientists miniaturizes
Both Tuck and a sub to the smallest of sizes.
 
Before they can put him in their bunny’s body,
A break-in confirms that security’s shoddy.
A doc carries Pendleton in a syringe
And flees Mr. Igoe, who makes people cringe.
 
When shot, the doc puts Tuck inside one Jack Putter,
A hypochondriacal, worrying nutter.
When Tuck contacts Jack through his eyes and his ears,
It fills Jack with all kinds of overwrought fears.
 
Escaping from Igoe, Jack follows Tuck’s lead,
In hopes that the government’s help will succeed.
But they overhear that Tuck’s air will run out
If they don’t get a chip that was stolen, no doubt.
 
They then visit Lydia, Tuck’s ex-girlfriend,
A reporter with key information to lend.
They choose to not say the location of Tuck,
But Igoe shows up, throwing Jack in a truck.
 
Jack meets Mr. Scrimshaw, who gives him a pitch
On shrinking technology making him rich.
The moving truck’s back door is somewhat ajar
So Jack swings away into Lydia’s car.
 
They find and tie up Scrimshaw’s tech-selling goon,
The Cowboy, who they learn will meet his boss soon.
To make sure their rendezvous still will take place,
Tuck somehow gives Jack the suave Cowboy’s own face.
 
The next morning, Scrimshaw almost gives the chip,
But Jack’s face reverts when he can’t get a grip.
Then Scrimshaw shrinks Igoe to launch an attack
On Tuck’s tiny sub once he joins him in Jack.
 
When Putter and Lydia fight through a man,
They shrink all the bad guys because…well, they can.
While they try to deal with a miniature foe,
Tuck’s being assaulted by Mr. Igoe.
 
With air running very low, Tuck’s almost bested,
But drops to the stomach, where Igoe’s digested.
They all hurry back to the lab with the chips
And re-enlarge Tuck and his smallest of ships.
 
With everyone safe, Tuck and Lydia marry,
And yet there’s still danger to which they’re unwary.
So Jack follows them to save each newlywed,
Not scared anymore to drive full speed ahead.
_______________________
 

Innerspace is a comedy, sci-fi, action, adventure, romance, and bizarre buddy movie all rolled into one. Joe Dante’s films are known for being quirky, to say the least, but Innerspace remains one of his most straightforwardly entertaining movies and the only one to win an Academy Award (for best Visual Effects). Dennis Quaid with his triangular grin has all his usual 1980s charisma, but it is Martin Short that steals the show as the neurotic Jack Putter. His comedic input is what makes Innerspace better than other Dennis Quaid sci-fi films like Dreamscape or Enemy Mine.

Meg Ryan’s Lydia also has some good scenes, as does Robert Picardo as the Cowboy. As a fan of Star Trek: Voyager, I get a real kick out of seeing the holographic Doctor (a much more stolid role for Picardo) smoking Cuban cigars, speaking in a foreign accent, and letting loose on the dance floor. (Nerdy trivia note: Though they didn’t really have a scene together here, Picardo and Wendy Schaal, who played Jack’s co-worker, were a couple on the Voyager episode “Real Life.” I at least thought that was cool.)

The special effects are quite well done and blow away anything from the old Fantastic Voyage. While the convoluted plot makes sense for the most part, there are a few continuity issues. Spoiler Alert (I know the whole poem is a spoiler, but I didn’t mention this): When Tuck enters Lydia’s body through a kiss with Jack, he winds up somehow in her womb to see his own child growing there; he later returns to the mouth at just the proper time for another kiss to return him to Jack. I may not know a lot about anatomy, but I don’t think the mouth and the uterus are that close to each other. Was he just wandering around aimlessly in the space between spaces? Why is Tuck’s sub the size of a fat cell at the beginning but later “large” enough to be picked up with tweezers?

Despite these minor issues and some thankfully restrained language, Innerspace is a joy ride through the human body. Tuck’s and Jack’s different perspectives on the things each of them do are priceless, and the end leaves open the possibility of a sequel that never materialized. Still, Dante and Spielberg gave us some great laughs and thrills in Innerspace.

Best line: (Tuck, speaking to Jack in his ear) “I’m right here, inside you, inside your body!” (Jack, standing up) “Oh, God! Somebody help me! I’M POSSESSED!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 4
Watchability: 8
Other (frequent language and innuendo): -5
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #277 – The Jungle Book

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Muppets (2011)

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

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Walter and his brother Gary,
Who is dating best friend Mary,
Loved the Muppets growing up,
And Walter is a big fan, very.
 
On vacation in L.A.,
The three decide to gladly pay
A visit to the studio
The Muppets had back in the day.
 
Walter hides within a room,
While rich Tex Richman deals out gloom.
He wants to tear the studio down
To drill for oil very soon.
 
Walter, who is quite agog,
Seeks his hero, Kermit the Frog.
They need to raise ten million bucks
To foil the villain’s monologue.
 
Driving ‘cross the vast U.S.,
They gather friends with eagerness.
They get them all, except Miss Piggy,
Who prevents their full success.
 
The Muppets barely reach TV
On primetime network CDE.
And yet they cannot seem to find
A needed host celebrity.
 
Once Piggy finally arrives,
Tex Richman says the deal deprives
The Muppets of their studio
And all their names to wreck their lives.
 
While Piggy makes a sneak attack
To kidnap for a host Jack Black,
Poor Mary’s feeling overlooked,
So Gary tries to win her back.
 
The telethon begins all right,
But it improves throughout the night,
And, though it seemed impossible
To raise the money, they just might.
 
Richman, blinded by his greed,
Tries to make them not succeed.
Though Walter’s whistling act inspires,
The Muppets don’t get what they need.
 
Though sad, they won’t admit defeat
And are surprised out on the street
To find a crowd of Muppet fans,
Who prove they are not obsolete.
 
One more song can’t help but wow,
They get their studio back somehow,
And Gary asks to marry Mary
Because Walt’s a Muppet now.
___________________
 

Amid the current melee of reboots, from The Amazing Spider-Man to Star Trek, it’s nice to see a franchise that isn’t afraid to look back on its past with nostalgia rather than an impulsive need to outdo what came before. I’m too young to remember the original “Muppet Show”, but the film knows that, casting doubt in the Muppets’ minds whether they’re relevant anymore. While many tell them they are old hat, the Muppets’ Blues Brothers-like quest to get the gang back together, filled withhumor, characterization, and song-and-dance numbers, managed to make them popular once more, in both the movie’s world and the real world.

Jason Segel and Amy Adams (in an innocent part reminiscent of her role in Enchanted) are charming as Gary and Mary, respectively, as is Gary’s Muppet-y brother Walter. Even more charming are the timeless characters that everyone ought to know: Kermit and Miss Piggy, Fozzie and Gonzo, Animal and the Swedish Chef, Beaker and that guy who likes to blow things up. The myriad cameos of famous faces, past and present, from Selena Gomez to Mickey Rooney, are also…well, charming.

The whole movie can be summed up by that one word. Despite the bitterness of Chris Cooper as Tex Richman, who’s given one of the most unexpectedly funny songs, The Muppets has a uniquely sincere earnestness that makes it stand out among all the typically cynical Hollywood fare to become a well-deserved success. Not many movies nowadays have entire towns breaking into a song-and-dance number like something out of The Music Man.

While the less joke-filled slow scenes aid in characterization, I felt that they slowed down the film as a whole, making it seem longer than it was. I much preferred the songs, such as “Life’s a Happy Song” and the Oscar-winning “Man or Muppet,” not to mention the well-utilized rock songs, like Starship’s “We Built This City.” (While good, “Man or Muppet” doesn’t really seem like an Oscar-worthy song to me, though there wasn’t much competition that year.) All in all, if you’re in the mood for a pure, comedic remembrance of the good old days with Kermit and the gang, complete with some fourth-wall-breaking and Jack Black being tortured, The Muppets is right up your alley.

Best line: (Miss Piggy’s receptionist, played by The Devil Wears Prada’s Emily Blunt) “She has an opening in early September.”
(Walter) “Early September? But that’s in six months!”
(Fozzie) “That’s nothing. I once waited a whole year for September.”

 

Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (slow parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #278 – Innerspace

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#280: A Bug’s Life (1998)

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

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Flik is an ant on an island of ants
With a tree rising over each head.
They spend their days harvesting grain from the plants
To keep hungry grasshoppers fed.
Considered a fool, poor Flik just wants a chance
To prove that he’s helpful instead.
 
When Flik inadvertently ruins the food,
The grasshoppers’ chief, who’s named Hopper,
Demands they pick double to keep them subdued,
Which he says for an ant is quite proper.
But Flik has the chutzpah to swiftly conclude
They need warriors or a crime stopper.
 
While Atta, the princess, is dubious still,
It’s a way to get rid of Flik fast.
So while they start picking, Flik leaves the anthill
To prove himself useful at last.
A nearby bug city yields little until
A “warrior” posse rolls past.
 
Flik begs them to come, for he thinks that they’re tough,
But they’re really a lame circus show.
Back home, Flik tells all that these bugs have the stuff
To make Hopper finally go.
Yet all the bugs balk when it’s made plain enough
They’re expected to battle a foe.
 
They all want to leave, but a bird intervenes,
And their actions impress the ant crowd.
Flik has an idea that’s approved by the queens,
And the warriors speak it aloud.
They all build a bird in a montage of scenes,
And, once finished, everyone’s proud.
 
They plan to scare Hopper away with the bird,
And they celebrate into the night,
But soon the shocked ant colony gets the word
That clowns are assisting their plight.
They banish both Flik and the bugs he referred,
As they lose their conviction to fight.
 
The food they collect doesn’t please Hopper’s crew,
So the grasshoppers lock down the ants,
But young Princess Dot flies to Flik, who withdrew,
And he makes a plan in advance.
The circus bugs help to distract Hopper’s view
While Flik gets their “bird” to advance.
 
The “bird” scares the foe, but Flik’s scheme is revealed,
And Hopper’s enraged at this cretin.
Yet, seeing their numbers, the ants take the field
And the grasshopper hordes are soon beaten.
In seeking revenge, Hopper’s own fate is sealed
When he finds a real bird and is eaten.
 
With the grasshoppers gone and their freedom restored,
The ants honor Flik and his friends.
The circus bugs wave, and, with extras aboard,
They leave as their wagon ascends.
And Flik at last gets a true hero’s reward,
Romance and the gladdest of ends.
_____________________
 

All of Pixar’s films are wonderful to varying degrees, and the fact that A Bug’s Life (or any film) is this low on the list doesn’t mean it’s a poor film, just one I like less than others. This insect fable is the lowest Pixar movie on my list (I’ll admit that Cars 2 wasn’t good enough to make the cut, and I haven’t yet seen Monsters University), but it remains a funny and endearing classic. While the main plot is clearly drawn from Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai and the concept is quite similar to DreamWorks’s Antz, released just a month earlier, A Bug’s Life has enough lovable characters and subtle humor to be original enough to blow Antz out of the water, though Woody Allen’s film still has its good points.

One amazing aspect of the film is its many diverse characters. There are a ladybug, a walking stick, a caterpillar, a butterfly, a praying mantis, a rhinoceros beetle, a spider, two pill bugs, a flea, two main grasshoppers, and at least seven named ants, and every one is given a distinct personality and great character moments. As many times as I’ve seen A Bug’s Life, there continue to be little details I hadn’t noticed; for instance, my VC pointed out that the awesome score would have fit well in a western, leading to observations of similarities to westerns, such as good guys being called in to stop outlaws, the desert location of Hopper’s vacation spot, and the flea’s stagecoach-like circus wagon.

The large cast of uniquely developed individuals has become typical of Pixar’s films, started by Toy Story and continued by the likes of Cars and Finding Nemo. A Bug’s Life also sticks out in my mind for the unusually gruesome death of the villain. Hopper is actually devoured alive, setting a precedent, followed by other cartoons like The Incredibles and Up, that animated bad guys can meet almost any horrific end as long as it is offscreen.

A Bug’s Life may be Pixar’s least original film and one of its least memorable, but it is still a fun adventure with lovely, though still developing CGI animation, countless laugh-out-loud insect-themed jokes, and a hilarious voice cast.

Best line: (a fly at the circus) “I only got twenty-four hours to live, and I ain’t gonna waste it here.”

VC’s best line: (waitress) “Who ordered the poo poo platter?” (Flies swarm all over it.)

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 4
Watchability: 7
Other (I just like other films better): -4
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #279 – The Muppets

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

We Are Marshall (2006)

01 Tuesday Apr 2014

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Marshall University’s a West Virginia school
That bore an awful tragedy that no one could foresee.
Their football team just lost a game, but everything seemed cool
Until their chartered plane flew home and crashed so suddenly.
 
The school’s whole team (except for four), the boosters, staff, and coaches
Are sadly killed upon impact, consumed in flame and ash.
The whole town mourns in utter shock. As their school year approaches,
They all assume the football program perished with the crash.
 
Nate Ruffin, their team captain, thinks they ought to play, however.
He rallies Marshall’s students to demand a football team.
So President Don Dedmon seeks a coach to put together
Another team. His efforts, though, are fruitless, it would seem.
 
But Wooster’s coach Jack Lengyel contacts Don to fill the need
And help the hurting town to cheer for football once again.
Assistant coach Red Dawson doesn’t think they can succeed
But overcomes survivor’s guilt to help recruit more men.
 
In order for their team to grow, they need some freshmen players
So Don asks for an exemption from the NCAA.
It takes a trip to their headquarters before anyone cares,
But finally Don gets permission for freshmen to play.
 
The team Jack puts together with the constant aid of Red
Cannot compare with what they lost, despite how hard they train.
When Jack seeks help from a rival coach, he lets Jack go ahead
And study his successful techniques, feeling Marshall’s pain.
 
The new young team’s first loss is hard, and tensions start to rise,
But Jack inspires his whole team to honor those long gone.
While most in town support the team, a couple realize
They’re stuck in mourning what they lost and need to now move on.
 
When Marshall plays Xavier, the whole town views the game,
And, playing hard, the team from Marshall manages to win.
Although they lose most games that year, they later win acclaim.
They honored everyone who died by never giving in.
____________________
 

We Are Marshall is a seemingly formulaic sports drama that nonetheless creates the appropriate amount of heartache and inspiration to rise above the sum of its parts. The initial crash, though offscreen, is traumatic in its effect upon the characters: mothers, fathers, fiancées, sons, daughters, and guilt-racked survivors.

The mourning community is populated by skilled actors, including Ian McShane as a grieving father, David Strathairn as Don Dedmon, and Matthew Fox as Red Dawson. Being a huge fan of Lost, I found it enjoyable to see Fox, who played a different Jack throughout the hit series, in another role.

While Matthew McConaughey received praise for his portrayal of Jack Lengyel and recently won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club, I didn’t care for him at first. His folksy quirkiness is at times more annoying than likable, but he grows into the character nicely by the end. Still, in Lengyel’s scenes with Red, I can’t help but feel that Matthew Fox seems to be more of an Oscar-worthy actor than McConaughey.

The film has some memorable and often funny training montages to great ‘70s music, as well as a number of cameos by various notable coaches and other famous people. Another thing I liked was the fact that Lengyel never promised miracles and never delivered any. Yet, despite all the pain Huntington, West Virginia endured, Marshall’s Thundering Herd went on to achieve great success, titles that would have never been won had the town just given up after the crash. While there is no real mention of God amidst the tragedy, some scenes in a church reveal the town nevertheless sought comfort in the Lord.

We Are Marshall may not be a perfect film, but it possesses some undeniably powerful moments, such as when a rival college’s players are shown with crosses on their helmets in solidarity with Marshall, plus a rousing ending that proves that a tragic loss need not define one’s future.

Best line: (Jack Lengyel) “Ya see, Red, it doesn’t matter if we win, or if we lose. It’s not even about how we play the game. What matters is that we play the game. That we take the field. That we suit up on Saturdays and we keep this program alive. We play the game, and, Red, I’m tellin’ ya one day… not today, not tomorrow. Not this season probably. Not next season either, but one day you and I are gonna wake up suddenly; we’re gonna be like every other team, in every other sport where winning is everything, and nothing else matters. When that day comes… well, that’s when we’ll honor them.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (brief language): -2
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #280 – A Bug’s Life

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Fireproof (2008)

31 Monday Mar 2014

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Caleb Holt’s a firefighter
Choosing work and overnighters
Over Catherine, his own wife,
Who seems to him a cross backbiter.
Quick to nag him and berate,
She seems to not appreciate
That every day he risks his life.
He’s sick of having still to fight her.
 
She in turn believes him rude,
Quick to scorn her and exclude.
Plus, he has a porn addiction
And a surly attitude.
Every time they both are present,
Both can’t help but be unpleasant.
Marriage offers naught but friction
And a never-ending feud.
 
Both agree that their best course
Would be to file for divorce,
But Caleb’s father tells his son
To wait, or there will be remorse.
He hawks a forty-day affair,
The marriage-salvaging Love Dare.
He says to follow it till done,
And it may be a changing force.
 
Caleb does it, day by day,
Resisting nasty things to say,
Buying flowers, doing chores,
And hating it in every way.
His sudden change may be too late.
Again, she can’t appreciate
His “loving” work, which she ignores,
Assuming it’s a greedy play.
 
Caleb’s soon prepared to quit,
Not seeing any point to it.
He’s simply going through the motions,
Which his dad helps him admit.
His father’s counsel brings him toward
A closer friendship with the Lord,
Which changes Caleb’s selfish notions,
Helping him to now commit.
 
Still fighting every risky blaze,
He tries for real for several days.
He kicks his nightly porn obsession,
Proving this is not a phase.
He tells off Catherine’s friend at work,
A suitor and potential jerk.
As kindness comes in quick succession,
Catherine’s floored by Caleb’s ways.
 
When she learns he paid a price
To offer her a sacrifice,
She chooses not to push divorce.
Instead, she hugs and seeks advice.
They both affirm fidelity,
Renewing vows for all to see.
They’ve learned that God is love’s true source,
Who helped them fall in love now twice.
____________________
 

I said at the beginning of this blog that, despite my faith, my list would not be full of usual Christian fare, and Fireproof is the first film so far that could be considered a strictly Christian movie, though A Walk to Remember featured a young girl unashamed of her faith who helped bring a troubled lad closer to God. Still, while that film was more romance with some language to spice it up for secular audiences, Fireproof is a movie made by Christians for Christians, with a soundtrack of current Christian songs and a clear evangelistic message. Those who cannot stand such films may not enjoy Fireproof, but it remains one of the best independent Christian films to date, with some powerful themes and lessons that even non-Christians should be able to appreciate.

I’ll be honest: the acting is not the best. The everyday interactions with people, particularly on the part of Erin Bethea as Catherine Holt, just seem stilted, like they’re all reading a script. On the other hand, the moments between Catherine and Caleb (played by Christian all-star Kirk Cameron) are the most compelling scenes, whether for good or bad. Their arguments sound like real marital strife with both at fault to some extent, and their reconciliation is believably slow to develop, with the final scenes admittedly touching (my parents couldn’t help but tear up). The best character development involves Caleb’s true change, from trashing his porn habit by massacring his computer (I hope there weren’t any important files on there) to admitting he’s on day 43 of his 40-day challenge.

One thing that makes Fireproof impressive is the intense firefighter scenes, including a train barreling toward a crushed car and a close shave in a burning house. The production values are quite high, considering this film was made predominately by volunteers of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. Because it is church-sponsored, it has the typical evangelical message that some don’t like, but it’s handled pretty well and doesn’t take up a lot of screen time. Also, considering how many marriages fail each year, the film offers some important messages: a relationship with Jesus can help other relationships too, never leave your partner behind, pornography is destructive, and love is not about feeling but commitment. Thus, even if people out there are wary of overtly Christian films, Fireproof is well-worth seeing.

Best line: (Caleb) “Marriage isn’t fireproof.” (Caleb’s friend Michael) “Fireproof doesn’t mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it.”

 
Artistry: 4
Characters/Actors: 4
Entertainment: 5
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 7
Watchability: 5
Other (moral value): +3
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #281: We Are Marshall

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Puss in Boots (2011)

30 Sunday Mar 2014

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This legend of the Puss in Boots,
Who some may know from Shrek,
Is of a lover and outlaw
Who’s on a lengthy trek.
 
He hears the tale of magic beans
That Jack and Jill will use
To grow and climb the famed beanstalk
And steal the Golden Goose.
 
He tries to steal them from the pair
Of outlaws. Nonetheless,
Another skillful cat with boots
Prevents him from success.
 
They fight with dancing and with swords,
But Puss is shocked to find
He fought one Kitty Softpaws, who
Can swiftly steal him blind.
 
He learns she works for Humpty Dumpty,
Quite a crooked egg,
Who wants his help to steal the beans
And isn’t shy to beg.
 
Puss then tells Kitty of his past:
The egg and he were pals,
Two orphans seeking magic beans
To boost their low morales.
 
Puss was the toast of San Ricardo,
Future looking bright,
But Humpty tricked him into helping
Rob the bank one night.
 
So Puss abandoned him to jail
And has been running since.
The two get Puss to help their plan,
Though he’s hard to convince.
 
They snatch the beans from Jack and Jill
And fly where Humpty knows
They’ll sprout into the tall beanstalk
And up, up, up it grows.
 
They find a golden gosling, plus
A giant unseen beast,
And take the goose back down to earth,
Their fortunes now increased.
 
But Jack and Jill attack that night
And leave Puss all alone.
He follows them to San Ricardo,
Where the truth’s made known.
 
It all so far was Humpty’s plan
For vengeance on his friend,
And everyone from Jack and Jill
To Kitty helped pretend.
 
While Puss in Boots is locked away,
The city celebrates,
For Humpty’s bought it with the gold
The giant goose creates.
 
The goose’s even bigger mom
Attacks, as Humpty’d planned,
But Puss convinces his old friend
To help him save the land.
 
Reuniting mom and child,
Humpty’s death’s implied.
He plummets from the city bridge,
Revealing gold inside.
 
Once San Ricardo’s safe and sound,
Puss gains respect once more.
Though wanted still, both he and Kitty
Seek their next big score.
__________________
 

The Shrek universe got a welcome addition in 2011’s Puss in Boots. It already had a number of memorable characters, such as Donkey, Fiona, Gingy, Prince Charming, and so on, but none deserved their own film like the big-eyed feline that stole the show in Shrek 2. Puss in Boots is an imaginative origin story that plays up the similarity between Puss and Antonio Banderas’s role as Zorro. The Hispanic tone makes the setting feel a little more like the real world, even though no one is surprised at talking feline outlaws or anthropomorphic eggs.

Several more interesting characters are introduced, from the conflicted Humpty Dumpty to the sultry love interest Kitty Softpaws, played by Zach Galifianakis and Salma Hayek, respectively. Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris are also memorable as the pig-loving ruthless killers Jack and Jill. The animation is also marvelous, and the story itself is much more original, intricate, and entertaining than the awful Shrek the Third. Plus, it’s very funny with a number of jokes intended for adults, including a Fight Club reference and even a drug joke.

While there’s nothing really objectionable, I can’t help but feel that the story gets a bit too weird in its imagination. The filmmakers at times fracture the fairytale to the breaking point, so to speak, turning the giant’s castle into a humongous lost world, the Golden Goose into Godzilla, Little Boy Blue into a literal blue-skinned boy, and Jack and Jill into evil hillbillies. Sometimes, the action becomes so frenetic that a blink can cause you to miss something. Still, combining Humpty Dumpty with the Goose that lays the golden eggs was inspired, even if his ultimate fate is rather open-ended.

Also, the ending is good for this film, but it’s unclear how it ties into Shrek 2. In some ways, Puss in Boots is akin to Prometheus, offering a prequel of sorts that can stand alone but doesn’t connect with the next installment quite the way we would expect. What happened to Kitty Softpaws? How did Puss end up in Far Far Away where the king found him? Perhaps DreamWorks is planning a Puss in Boots 2 to answer questions like these.

Best line: (Puss in Boots, leaving his latest conquest) “I will never forget you… Margherita.” (annoyed cat meows) “I mean, Rosa.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 8
Originality: 7
Watchability: 6
Other (some weirdness and unanswered questions): -7
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #282: Fireproof

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Raising Arizona (1987)

28 Friday Mar 2014

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H. I. McDonough (said like “hi”)
Is just a simple, laid-back guy.
He doesn’t really have a job,
But likes convenience stores to rob.
Every time the crook is caught,
A cop named Ed takes Hi’s mug shot.
 
Due to their rendezvous, though grim,
Hi falls for Ed, and she for him.
They wed when Hi’s freed by his jailer
And settle down within a trailer.
Through frequent practice, Ed discovers
They’re unproductive as two lovers.
 
Hi’s past will not permit adoption;
Therefore, it seems they have one option.
Unpainted furniture big shot
Nathan Arizona’s got
Quintuplets. Hi and Ed decide
To take one as their joy and pride.
 
Hi, after all the babes’ hi-jinks,
Takes Nathan, Jr. (well, he thinks).
They love him as their very own,
But soon the couple aren’t alone.
Two friends of Hi’s drop in, in spite
Of breaking out of jail that night.
 
But Hi dreams something that appalls,
The demon biker Leonard Smalls,
Who’s hot on Nathan, Jr.’s trail
To send Hi somewhere worse than jail.
When Hi gets angry at his boss,
It ends, of course, with his job loss.
 
Hi robs a store, with little to lose,
And one long funny chase ensues.
Since criminality’s no savior,
Ed is mad at Hi’s behavior.
Hi thinks, without him there, his wife
Might have a more fulfilling life.
 
Before he leaves, though, Hi’s pals learn
Of Nathan, Jr., who could turn
Into their gold mine, so they take
The child for a ransom’s sake.
Then, by a full bank, they’re enticed
And bring the baby for a heist.
 
Forgetting Nathan at the scene,
The two don’t get away quite clean.
Hi and Ed reach the scene of the crime
In search of Nathan just in time
For Smalls to snatch the little one,
But Ed grabs Nathan back and runs.
 
Hi’s punished for his escapade
But blows Smalls up with a grenade.
The babe’s returned by Hi and his spouse
To Nathan Arizona’s house,
And, in a dream that transcends laughter,
Hi sees their happy ever after.
_____________________
 

I wrote that Millennium Actress is probably the weirdest film on my list, and it is, but Raising Arizona is a close second. Every character’s behavior and dialogue are so out there that the film is almost one long string of laughs. Raising Arizona is one of the few movies done by the Coen brothers that I’ve seen or want to see, and it’s certainly their funniest, as evidenced by its placement on AFI’s top 100 comedies list (#31).

Each actor pours the maximum amount of quirk into every scene. Nicolas Cage as Hi is the kind of guy who craves the excitement of robbing convenience stores with empty guns and panty hose over his head. Holly Hunter as Ed is a poor example of a police officer, insisting that Hi kidnap a child for her, but this is tempered by her realization of their wrongdoing at the end and subsequent return of Nathan, Jr. Trey Wilson is also a hoot as Nathan Arizona, Sr., the kind of loving father who just stares at the ceiling when there’s a noise upstairs or lays down a presumably loaded gun in a baby’s crib (did anyone else notice that?!). John Goodman and William Forsythe as Gale and Evelle Snoats, Hi’s buddies, are the most hilarious of all, as they scream for extended periods of time for either no reason or a very good reason.

The source of all this humor is, of course, the Coen Brothers’ inspired script, which blends white trash criminal stupidity with Hi’s almost poetic narration. Their unique camera angles also give us the hilarious points of view of anything from the biker’s motorcycle to the crawling babies to Hi’s backside. Plus, there are some great enduring lines (“Well, okay then”; “Turn to the right!”) and scenes, such as the Snoats’ breakout, which is like a bizarre reimagining of the climax to The Shawshank Redemption, though some years before that film was released. Some portions of the middle act pursuit (one of the funniest film chases ever) even reminded me of some chase scenes in The Matrix.

It’s unfortunate that the filmmakers once again had to throw in a good amount of foul language and a rather violent death by explosion. Still, Raising Arizona is a well-made laugh-a-minute fun ride which manages some transcendent ideas that make the final scenes actually rather touching.

Best line: (the Snoats brothers) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (if you’ve seen the film, you understand what part I mean)

Other best line: (Evelle Snoats, referring to some balloons) “These blow up into funny shapes and all?” (convenience store clerk) “Well, no, unless round is funny.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 9
Watchability: 6
Other (language, violence, and some subject matter): -9
 
TOTAL: 32 out of 60
 

Next: #283: Puss in Boots

© 2014 S. G. Liput