Category Archives: Writing

Dave (1993)

05 Saturday Apr 2014

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The President is William Mitchell,
Popular but quite the swine.
He lies, philanders, cooks the books,
And looks a lot like Kevin Kline.
 
A busy night requires that he
Get a decent look-a-like
To take his place for just a moment
Just in case danger may strike.
 
The Secret Service finds Dave Kovic,
Who could be Bill Mitchell’s twin.
He does a very worthy job
And likes the role that he is in.
 
But, when Bill Mitchell has a stroke,
Bob Alexander, chief of staff,
Decides to keep Dave on for good
And run the land on his behalf.
 
While Dave agrees to play along,
He knows Bob’s whole plan is shady.
No one notices the difference,
Even Ellen, Bill’s First Lady.
 
The pure Vice President is sent on
Some long African peace tour,
And Bob bribes the few who know
To keep his little plot secure.
 
Although it all goes well at first,
Dave soon wants to help out more.
So he tries to cut the budget,
Something Bob cannot ignore.
 
Because she knows her husband’s crooked,
Ellen knows that something’s wrong.
She catches Dave within the lie, but
Both of them still get along.
 
When Dave decides to take the reins and
Help the country as he should,
He fires Bob and tells the press that
He will try to do more good.
 
But Bob has dirt on Mitchell’s scheming,
And he gives it to the press,
Prompting Dave to go to Congress
And, on live TV, confess.
 
He also offers proof that Bob took
Part in all his past misdeeds,
But suddenly Dave passes out,
And his ingenious plan succeeds.
 
Within an ambulance, they switch out
Dave for Bill, still comatose.
The news reports a much worse stroke,
Which clueless doctors diagnose.
 
With Gary Nance, Vice President, now
Stepping up to chief-of-state,
Dave goes back to his normal life,
But better things may still await.
 
For Ellen’s now in love with David,
Joining him in life mundane,
But Dave still dreams of helping more
And plans to launch his own campaign.
_____________________
 

With a title that gives little hint to its plot, Dave is all about Kevin Kline, who plays both President Bill Mitchell and Dave Kovic. Kline is the magic charm that makes the whole film work, portraying both a jerk and a lovable guy who’s in over his head and barely knows it. His eccentricities, such as the way he embellishes the lines and orders given him (or sometimes doesn’t, to comedic effect) are priceless. Yet, his sympathetic idealism is like something out of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and one can’t help but root for his plans, even if he is lying to the whole country throughout the film (due to Bob Alexander, played by the icy Frank Langella).

While his beneficent proposals are pretty unrealistic (putting every single person to work is not really in the government’s power; see the New Deal), it’s nice to see a film point out the flaws in the system in a fairly nonpartisan way. Comments about the unwieldiness of the budget, the unnecessary programs that gobble up millions, and the selfishness of many politicians make Dave a film to be taken seriously, and many cameos by actual congressmen, senators, and news reporters give it a sense of realism.

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Mitchell, Ving Rhames as Secret Service man Duane, Charles Grodin as Dave’s accountant friend (having played one in Midnight Run, Grodin must like playing accountants) and Ben Kingsley as Vice President Nance round out the well-cast roles, and I must say that Kline and Weaver have some winning chemistry. (As a side note, when Dave operates two giant robotic arms, I couldn’t help but think that it’s too bad Sigourney Weaver didn’t get ahold of those and fight a giant alien.) As a comedy, the film is amusing throughout but doesn’t have any standout hilarious scene, like other Ivan Reitman films (Ghostbusters, Stripes). Dave nonetheless is an entertaining Prince-and-the-Pauper look at a fictional Washington conspiracy that thankfully hasn’t really happened. I think.

Best line: (Duane, as Dave and he part ways) “I would have taken a bullet for you.”

 
Artistry: 6
Characters/Actors: 8
Entertainment: 8
Visual Effects: N/A (except for one scene with the two Kevin Klines)
Originality: 6
Watchability: 8
Other (language): -3
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #275 – The Emperor’s New Groove

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Jungle Book (1967)

04 Friday Apr 2014

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Bagheera the panther is prowling around
The jungle when suddenly he hears a sound,
A helpless man-cub that has need to be found,
And he can’t bring himself to forsake him.
 
He then has a thought of who might raise the child,
A family of wolves that at first may seem wild,
But, with all their cubs, they’re surprisingly mild,
And Bagheera’s relieved when they take him.
 
They name the boy Mowgli, but, after some years,
The threat of Shere Kahn, a great tiger, brings fears
That Mowgli must leave; the black cat volunteers
To take him where more humans dwell.
 
But Mowgli insists that he’d much rather stay;
The jungle’s his home and he can’t run away.
Though dangers like Kaa the snake threaten each day,
The boy’s quick to fight and rebel.
 
Bagheera gives up on the man-cub, annoyed.
Baloo the bear sees a chance he can’t avoid;
He tells Mowgli life should be simply enjoyed,
And both of them get very close.
 
Then monkeys take him to their coolest of kings,
But Mowgli’s friends save him while everyone sings,
When the bear tells him he ought to leave, the truth stings,
And Mowgli flees, sad and morose.
 
Though many tell Mowgli that he need not leave,
Repeated deceit makes him loath to believe.
He’s joined by some vultures, who help him not grieve,
But soon he is met by Shere Khan.
 
The tiger attacks, but Baloo holds his tail,
But, as the cat strikes, Baloo cannot prevail.
Yet Mowgli wields fire to make Shere Khan wail,
And soon the great tiger’s withdrawn.
 
Though hurt, Baloo rises, still quite the wise guy.
Bagheera and he then observe from nearby
As a beautiful girl catches young Mowgli’s eye,
And he follows her home and is gone.
_______________________
 

As the last film that Walt Disney worked on before his death, The Jungle Book is a true classic, and both my VC and I remembered it fondly from our childhoods. It has a number of enjoyable songs from the Sherman Brothers, such as King Louie’s “I Wanna Be Like You” and the vultures’ “That’s What Friends Are For,” but the most memorable tune, “The Bare Necessities,” was actually done by a previously involved songwriter, Terry Gilkyson. The Jungle Book was also one of Disney’s first films to employ several well-known voices, such as radio comedian Phil Harris as Baloo, George Sanders (Rebecca, All About Eve) as Shere Khan, Sebastian Cabot (Family Affair) as Bagheera, musical great Louis Prima as King Louis, and Sterling Holloway (Winnie the Pooh) as Kaa.

While there is no denying The Jungle Book’s status as a classic, I will say that it seemed much slower than my VC or I recalled. The best scenes are the musical numbers and the action scenes with King Louis and Shere Khan; most of what is between these scenes is a tad boring, to be honest. Also, while the film has inspired several fine animators, such as Brad Bird, the thick-lined animation just doesn’t seem to be on the same level as many Disney films that came before, such as Peter Pan or Lady and the Tramp.

Still, where the film most excels is in the characters. Every character with his distinctive voice is indelible in the memory: Baloo, with his original “Hakuna Matata” worldview; Bagheera, who doesn’t get enough credit for essentially saving Mowgli’s life; King Louie, whose monkeying around can’t help but entertain; Shere Khan, with his deep, seductive voice; and Kaa, who gets some of the most visually interesting scenes. The film’s plot is quite loose overall, and it is Mowgli’s interactions with these immortal characters that really make it the classic that it is. While it’s very different in tone from Rudyard Kipling’s original story and it is a clear product of its time (those mop-topped vultures were originally going to be played by the Beatles, if Disney had had his way), Disney’s take on The Jungle Book was the last really good animated film for over fifteen years.

Best line: (Bagheera) “This will take brains, not brawn.” (Baloo) “You better believe it, and I’m loaded with both.”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 6
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
Other (slow parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #276: Dave

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Innerspace (1987)

03 Thursday Apr 2014

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Lieutenant Tuck Pendleton has a new mission:
To go on a small rabbit-themed expedition.
A skilled team of scientists miniaturizes
Both Tuck and a sub to the smallest of sizes.
 
Before they can put him in their bunny’s body,
A break-in confirms that security’s shoddy.
A doc carries Pendleton in a syringe
And flees Mr. Igoe, who makes people cringe.
 
When shot, the doc puts Tuck inside one Jack Putter,
A hypochondriacal, worrying nutter.
When Tuck contacts Jack through his eyes and his ears,
It fills Jack with all kinds of overwrought fears.
 
Escaping from Igoe, Jack follows Tuck’s lead,
In hopes that the government’s help will succeed.
But they overhear that Tuck’s air will run out
If they don’t get a chip that was stolen, no doubt.
 
They then visit Lydia, Tuck’s ex-girlfriend,
A reporter with key information to lend.
They choose to not say the location of Tuck,
But Igoe shows up, throwing Jack in a truck.
 
Jack meets Mr. Scrimshaw, who gives him a pitch
On shrinking technology making him rich.
The moving truck’s back door is somewhat ajar
So Jack swings away into Lydia’s car.
 
They find and tie up Scrimshaw’s tech-selling goon,
The Cowboy, who they learn will meet his boss soon.
To make sure their rendezvous still will take place,
Tuck somehow gives Jack the suave Cowboy’s own face.
 
The next morning, Scrimshaw almost gives the chip,
But Jack’s face reverts when he can’t get a grip.
Then Scrimshaw shrinks Igoe to launch an attack
On Tuck’s tiny sub once he joins him in Jack.
 
When Putter and Lydia fight through a man,
They shrink all the bad guys because…well, they can.
While they try to deal with a miniature foe,
Tuck’s being assaulted by Mr. Igoe.
 
With air running very low, Tuck’s almost bested,
But drops to the stomach, where Igoe’s digested.
They all hurry back to the lab with the chips
And re-enlarge Tuck and his smallest of ships.
 
With everyone safe, Tuck and Lydia marry,
And yet there’s still danger to which they’re unwary.
So Jack follows them to save each newlywed,
Not scared anymore to drive full speed ahead.
_______________________
 

Innerspace is a comedy, sci-fi, action, adventure, romance, and bizarre buddy movie all rolled into one. Joe Dante’s films are known for being quirky, to say the least, but Innerspace remains one of his most straightforwardly entertaining movies and the only one to win an Academy Award (for best Visual Effects). Dennis Quaid with his triangular grin has all his usual 1980s charisma, but it is Martin Short that steals the show as the neurotic Jack Putter. His comedic input is what makes Innerspace better than other Dennis Quaid sci-fi films like Dreamscape or Enemy Mine.

Meg Ryan’s Lydia also has some good scenes, as does Robert Picardo as the Cowboy. As a fan of Star Trek: Voyager, I get a real kick out of seeing the holographic Doctor (a much more stolid role for Picardo) smoking Cuban cigars, speaking in a foreign accent, and letting loose on the dance floor. (Nerdy trivia note: Though they didn’t really have a scene together here, Picardo and Wendy Schaal, who played Jack’s co-worker, were a couple on the Voyager episode “Real Life.” I at least thought that was cool.)

The special effects are quite well done and blow away anything from the old Fantastic Voyage. While the convoluted plot makes sense for the most part, there are a few continuity issues. Spoiler Alert (I know the whole poem is a spoiler, but I didn’t mention this): When Tuck enters Lydia’s body through a kiss with Jack, he winds up somehow in her womb to see his own child growing there; he later returns to the mouth at just the proper time for another kiss to return him to Jack. I may not know a lot about anatomy, but I don’t think the mouth and the uterus are that close to each other. Was he just wandering around aimlessly in the space between spaces? Why is Tuck’s sub the size of a fat cell at the beginning but later “large” enough to be picked up with tweezers?

Despite these minor issues and some thankfully restrained language, Innerspace is a joy ride through the human body. Tuck’s and Jack’s different perspectives on the things each of them do are priceless, and the end leaves open the possibility of a sequel that never materialized. Still, Dante and Spielberg gave us some great laughs and thrills in Innerspace.

Best line: (Tuck, speaking to Jack in his ear) “I’m right here, inside you, inside your body!” (Jack, standing up) “Oh, God! Somebody help me! I’M POSSESSED!”

 
Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 6
Entertainment: 9
Visual Effects: 6
Originality: 4
Watchability: 8
Other (frequent language and innuendo): -5
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #277 – The Jungle Book

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

The Muppets (2011)

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

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Walter and his brother Gary,
Who is dating best friend Mary,
Loved the Muppets growing up,
And Walter is a big fan, very.
 
On vacation in L.A.,
The three decide to gladly pay
A visit to the studio
The Muppets had back in the day.
 
Walter hides within a room,
While rich Tex Richman deals out gloom.
He wants to tear the studio down
To drill for oil very soon.
 
Walter, who is quite agog,
Seeks his hero, Kermit the Frog.
They need to raise ten million bucks
To foil the villain’s monologue.
 
Driving ‘cross the vast U.S.,
They gather friends with eagerness.
They get them all, except Miss Piggy,
Who prevents their full success.
 
The Muppets barely reach TV
On primetime network CDE.
And yet they cannot seem to find
A needed host celebrity.
 
Once Piggy finally arrives,
Tex Richman says the deal deprives
The Muppets of their studio
And all their names to wreck their lives.
 
While Piggy makes a sneak attack
To kidnap for a host Jack Black,
Poor Mary’s feeling overlooked,
So Gary tries to win her back.
 
The telethon begins all right,
But it improves throughout the night,
And, though it seemed impossible
To raise the money, they just might.
 
Richman, blinded by his greed,
Tries to make them not succeed.
Though Walter’s whistling act inspires,
The Muppets don’t get what they need.
 
Though sad, they won’t admit defeat
And are surprised out on the street
To find a crowd of Muppet fans,
Who prove they are not obsolete.
 
One more song can’t help but wow,
They get their studio back somehow,
And Gary asks to marry Mary
Because Walt’s a Muppet now.
___________________
 

Amid the current melee of reboots, from The Amazing Spider-Man to Star Trek, it’s nice to see a franchise that isn’t afraid to look back on its past with nostalgia rather than an impulsive need to outdo what came before. I’m too young to remember the original “Muppet Show”, but the film knows that, casting doubt in the Muppets’ minds whether they’re relevant anymore. While many tell them they are old hat, the Muppets’ Blues Brothers-like quest to get the gang back together, filled withhumor, characterization, and song-and-dance numbers, managed to make them popular once more, in both the movie’s world and the real world.

Jason Segel and Amy Adams (in an innocent part reminiscent of her role in Enchanted) are charming as Gary and Mary, respectively, as is Gary’s Muppet-y brother Walter. Even more charming are the timeless characters that everyone ought to know: Kermit and Miss Piggy, Fozzie and Gonzo, Animal and the Swedish Chef, Beaker and that guy who likes to blow things up. The myriad cameos of famous faces, past and present, from Selena Gomez to Mickey Rooney, are also…well, charming.

The whole movie can be summed up by that one word. Despite the bitterness of Chris Cooper as Tex Richman, who’s given one of the most unexpectedly funny songs, The Muppets has a uniquely sincere earnestness that makes it stand out among all the typically cynical Hollywood fare to become a well-deserved success. Not many movies nowadays have entire towns breaking into a song-and-dance number like something out of The Music Man.

While the less joke-filled slow scenes aid in characterization, I felt that they slowed down the film as a whole, making it seem longer than it was. I much preferred the songs, such as “Life’s a Happy Song” and the Oscar-winning “Man or Muppet,” not to mention the well-utilized rock songs, like Starship’s “We Built This City.” (While good, “Man or Muppet” doesn’t really seem like an Oscar-worthy song to me, though there wasn’t much competition that year.) All in all, if you’re in the mood for a pure, comedic remembrance of the good old days with Kermit and the gang, complete with some fourth-wall-breaking and Jack Black being tortured, The Muppets is right up your alley.

Best line: (Miss Piggy’s receptionist, played by The Devil Wears Prada’s Emily Blunt) “She has an opening in early September.”
(Walter) “Early September? But that’s in six months!”
(Fozzie) “That’s nothing. I once waited a whole year for September.”

 

Artistry: 5
Characters/Actors: 7
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 5
Originality: 5
Watchability: 6
Other (slow parts): -2
 
TOTAL: 33 out of 60
 

Next: #278 – Innerspace

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

#350: 12 Angry Men (1957)

16 Thursday Jan 2014

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A teen from the slums has been tried for the death
Of his father, and nobody’s holding his breath.
With two witnesses, it’s an undoubted fact
That the young man is guilty of this heinous act.
But there’s a lone juror who will not walk out
Until he’s convinced beyond reasonable doubt.
The other eleven who make up this jury
Respond then with skepticism or with fury.
An irascible sadist who’s quick to lay blame,
An impatient guy who’d prefer a ball game,
A foreign watchmaker, a prejudiced bigot –
They all hear his speech, but at first they don’t dig it.
 
Yet this lone Juror 8 who just won’t let this go
Begins earning allies who see they can’t know
For sure the boy’s guilty; what first was baloney
Begins to reveal holes in some testimony.
“Perhapses” and “Maybes” turn hearts of all kinds,
And one by one, everyone changes their mind.
From the knife that was used to the loudness of trains,
Their reasoning wins till one loudmouth remains.
This man who had claimed that he wished justice done
Realizes he’s mad at his own estranged son,
And, choosing to not take it out on this youth,
He changes his vote for the sake of the truth.
__________________
 

12 Angry Men, a film based off of a teleplay, takes place almost exclusively in a single room. Since it’s very obvious it was meant to be a play, there is little action, and the entire plot centers around 12 men talking and arguing. It might be called the Angry Dozen. It’s the kind of film that could not be made today with modern man’s focus on explosions or violence. No one would pay today’s ticket prices to see such a simply made film. (Few people did when it was released in 1957. The movie failed miserably.)

Yet it is a classic with brilliant performances from its dozen actors and deductive dialogue that would make Sherlock Holmes proud. Its claustrophobic use of camera angles and use of close-up scenes, with the actor staring into the camera (long before Jonathan Demme earned acclaim for this technique), allow its relatively boring plot to remain interesting. The stakes of a young man’s life are never forgotten and help with the tension as well. This is what I call a Triple A movie because it is All About the Acting. It’s not the kind of film I like to watch regularly, but there’s no denying its status as a true film classic.

Best line: (speaking of the young man) “Bright? He’s a common, ignorant slob. He don’t even speak good English.”

 
Artistry: 8
Characters/Actors: 9
Entertainment: 4
Visual Effects: N/A
Originality: 5
Watchability: 2
 
TOTAL: 28 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #349: Dinosaur

© 2014 S. G. Liput