(For Day 2 of NaPoWriMo, the prompt was for a poem that directly addresses someone and includes elements like an unusual simile and an anachronism. As you may guess, the addressee here is some WWII Nazis taken by surprise.)

I say, chaps, don’t gawp at me like you’re in shock;
You knew this was coming (or should have at least).
You can’t go around gobbling up the whole bloc
And starting up wars on the west and the east.

It truly was only a matter of time
Before some resourceful dissenters arrived
To answer each war crime with, well, even more crime
Until your dear Reich has been quite unalived.

You looked oh so smug in your grey uniforms,
That swastika bent like a crime scene in chalk,
But you lie with the devil, then you get the horns,
A regular arsenal, loaded and cocked.

So don’t be so stunned by the Colt in your face;
It’s not so irregular when you come to it.
There’s action that’s needed when Nazis give chase,
And always somebody, like us, who will do it.
____________________

MPA rating:  R (for strong violence)

Based on a Damien Lewis book about Churchill’s secret Special Operations Executive (SOE), The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare sees director Guy Ritchie leaning into that cinematic axiom that Nazis make the best villains and by extension the best victims. At the height of World War II, debonaire commando Gus March-Phillips (Henry Cavill) is recruited by one Brigadier Gubbins (Cary Elwes) and tasked with forming an elite espionage team to target Nazi operations with sabotage and guerilla warfare. Joined by a savage Dane (Alan Ritchson), an expert frogman (Henry Golding), and others, the team sets out to destroy an Italian supply ship in what would be known as Operation Postmaster.

The history of the SOE and the feats of the real-life war heroes are undoubtedly interesting, but this is obviously the Hollywood version of events. The film revels in its chance to dispatch Nazis with every sharp instrument at hand, yet, despite the danger involved, the action is so one-sided that there’s rarely any suspense for the fates of the main characters. That’s a shame too, because Cavill has an effortless charisma as the leader of the pack, complemented by the cool but ferocious Ritchson, and their characters might have shone even more with a slightly less glamorized script.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare makes popcorn entertainment out of an under-publicized chapter of WWII history, and it does so reasonably well. From the undercover seductions of Eiza González to the shoot-em-up carnage of a tropical rescue mission, it’s sometimes brutal fun, but it also feels like empty calories in a way such intriguing history shouldn’t.

Best line: (Churchill) “If Hitler isn’t playing by the Rules, then neither shall we?”

Rank: Honorable Mention

© 2025 S.G. Liput
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