(For Day 20 of NaPoWriMo, the prompt was to imagine how archaeologists might appraise us in the far future, so I considered how superhero films might be mistaken for historical records.)

Here at the Museum of Archaic History,
The Superhero Wing is our most popular display.
Not very much survived the EMPs of World War III,
But rigorous historians have come to save the day!

It seems that back in yesteryear, some humans wielded talents
Of fight or flight or laser eyes, with symbols on their chest.
They often rescued many lives and kept the world in balance,
As all these documentaries on ancient disks attest.

We think that they were unionized protectors of the peace,
Belonging to the rival leagues of Marvel or DC.
They dealt with larger dangers too destructive for police,
Like evil gods and aliens we now no longer see.

We’ve found that certain famous ones, like Bat- and Spider-Men
Could somehow change appearance over years of derring-do.
Some believe these new facades came time and time again,
Whenever they’d regenerate like noted Doctor Who.

Some records, though, can’t be retrieved from archives decades-plus.
We don’t know what became of many stories lost to time.
We may not know what happened to Shazam or Morbius,
But still we will preserve their tales, the Conquerors of Crime.
___________________________

MPA rating: PG-13

While I tend to favor Marvel movies much more than DC, I quite enjoyed the first Shazam! With teenage Billy Batson granted the powers and adult body of a hero, it was a gleeful example of wish fulfillment while tackling some poignant themes of family and belonging. So I was excited for the sequel, but apparently I was in the minority. Shazam! Fury of the Gods has been a regrettable flop in the face of James Gunn’s takeover of DC, with many citing the planned reboot of the DC universe as a reason to not care about films like this that are probably a mere dead end. It’s unfortunate because even if this sequel does fall short of its predecessor, it’s still an entertaining adventure.

Following the victory of Billy (Asher Angel) and his foster family of empowered kids in the first film, they have settled into an uneasy groove of half-successful heroics around Philadelphia. When two daughters of Atlas (Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu) steal the broken staff of the Wizard (Djimon Hounsou) who gifted Billy his powers, they invade Earth with plans to reclaim the power of the Greek gods and probably destroy our realm in the process.

Zachary Levi is too naturally likable to dislike in this role. Even if he acts more childlike than his character’s actual teen self and makes some annoyingly foolish mistakes, his charisma helps smooth out the disconnect. It’s nice to see older actresses like Mirren and Liu still get a chance to kick butt in movies like this, and Rachel Zegler as the love interest for Billy’s foster brother Freddy is a welcome addition to any cast. Along with its sense of humor, the action and effects are as good as ever with mythological beasts and super-powered beatdowns keeping my inner child happy.

Ultimately, there’s little I can say against the critics who point out the rote villain motivations or the blatant product placement or the literal deus ex machina ending. Those points are true, and the efforts at emotion aren’t as deeply felt as the first film, but I still think Shazam deserved a better reception.

Best line: (The Wizard) “Billy, anyone can be worthy, if given a chance. Now go fight for your family! Go fight for the world!”

Rank: List Runner-Up

© 2023 S.G. Liput
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