(Sorry for missing yesterday, but I’m back for Day 8 of NaPoWriMo. Today’s prompt was a doozy, trying to incorporate elements of the “Twenty Little Poetry Projects” all in one poem. It’s a lot, so I tried incorporating the myriad guidelines into a rambling painting session.)

The empty canvas is an infant’s soul,
Clean at birth, no stain or man’s control.
Let’s paint on it.

First, we’ll start with what some will know
As the verdant foe of cold and snow,
Or as I call it, green.

Yes, let’s dab that canvas, guys,
And stab pine needles through its eyes,
But gently, gingerly, with care,
Enough so folks know you were there.
Then spread it out, now up and down,
And give that tree a royal crown
So it will reign with a foliate fist
Of eau de Nil, that egotist.

And now, let’s cleanse our pallet with blue,
So pure, you’ll hear the ocean too.
Then spread it wide with broader strokes.
This humble painter knows you folks
Enjoy a sky to complement
That oak below who’s so content.
So paint it deep, then add some whites
For cotton clouds like leukocytes.
If one’s not right, try painting three
Or hanging upside down like me.
Then daub more blue down here too, fellas,
For waves to make Lake Tahoe jealous.

And now the browns down on the ground;
Just smell that lucky dirt you found.
Those aren’t just smears; they’re mulch and gravel,
Perfect for the hiker’s travel.
We’ll add a boulder by the tree’s toe –
The tree must have dropped it years ago.
And at last, let’s add a friendly bush,
No thorns to prick, just blooms to push.
Picasso, eat your heart out.

Now how about them apples, y’all.
You taste that lakeside aerosol?
Museums everywhere will plead
For your next work. It’s guaranteed.
Sure, no one’s breaking down my door,
But I’m not bitter. I’m not sore.
Who cares how long since my debut?
An infant soul’s awaiting you.
_______________________________

MPA rating: PG-13 (for drug use and innuendo)

For the first time, I checked out the Mystery Movie periodically hosted by Regal Cinemas, where you don’t know what movie you’re walking into, just that it’s an early pre-release showing. While I was hoping for perhaps Dungeons & Dragons or Space Oddity, I was admittedly a little disappointed when it turned out to be Paint, the indie comedy with Owen Wilson playing a very Bob Ross-like TV painter named Carl Nargle. Yet it turned out to be good that my expectations were low, since I enjoyed this quaint little satire more than I thought I would.

Carl has spent decades hosting the popular show Paint on his Vermont public broadcasting network, and he’s become used to being treated as a local celebrity, idolized especially by all the women working at the network. Yet when the manager Tony (Stephen Root) brings in a young new talent named Ambrosia (Ciara Renée in her film debut) to revitalize the station, Carl’s comfortably stagnant world comes crashing down as he must decide what he values most.

Paint’s humor thrives on its gentle quirkiness, such as when Tony has to ask the always softspoken Carl if he’s yelling at him, but it also does a fine job at humanizing characters that could have been mere caricatures. Under a poofy perm, Wilson excels in the lead role, and though some of his behavior is problematic and his rivalry with Ambrosia resentful, the film manages to make the jerks in every situation not too jerky as to be unlikable. The reactions from everyone involved are understandable and never get too spiteful, with even Carl admiring Ambrosia’s talent. Michaela Watkins is also strong as Carl’s conflicted ex Katherine, and Root’s Tony is winsomely smarmy as he tries to suck up to whoever will get the station higher ratings.

With its behind-the-scenes drama and ego-poking humor, I could draw a comparison to 1991’s Soapdish, another film that pitted an established star against a popular newcomer. And considering how many comedies these days try to draw laughs from being as outrageous and R-rated as possible, I enjoyed this film’s hilariously subdued eccentricity and almost profanity-free script. It may seem at times like an SNL skit stretched to feature length, but Paint is a charmer worth seeing intentionally.

Rank: List Runner-Up

© 2023 S.G. Liput
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