Tag Archives: Musical

Cats Don’t Dance (1997)

08 Saturday Feb 2014

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Danny’s a cat in the old 1930s
Who travels (by song) very far.
He leaves his small town for his Hollywood dreams
In hopes of becoming a star.
 
With singing and dancing his tools of the trade,
In no time he lands his first part
Alongside one Sawyer, a cynical cat,
And at first he does not win her heart.
 
They play the two cats in a Noah’s Ark film
With Miss Darla Dimple, the young
“Lover of children and animals,” who
By Danny is quickly outsung.
 
She calls her gargantuan butler named Max,
Who follows her every command.
He intimidates Danny to stick to “Meow,”
Engulfing the cat in his hand.
 
Yet Danny will not be deterred easily,
And, with help from a movie icon,
He tries to inspire his animal friends,
Whose colors and hopes have grown wan.
 
But Darla and Max try to sabotage them
To make sure they all know their place.
They flood the whole studio, casting the blame
On the beasts, who are banned in disgrace.
 
Then, after a long and lugubrious song,
Poor Danny decides to bounce back.
He invites all his buddies to Darla’s premiere
To get all their careers back on track.
 
As Danny’s preparing for after the film,
Max attempts to prevent his display,
But a chase on the roof puts Max on a balloon
And sends the hulk floating away.
 
When Danny and friends then announce their surprise,
A song and dance show for the ages,
Young Darla, the loud child actor from hell,
Can’t stop them, but, afterward, rages.
 
She lets out her part in the earlier flood
And is “dropped,” so to speak, in advance,
While Danny and Sawyer and all of their pals
Have proven that, yes, cats can dance.
___________________________
 

(For those still reading, thanks for sticking with me through this juvenile section of animated films.  Though I am a fan of animation, I assure you more adult fare is on its way.)

Cats Don’t Dance flopped at the box office, mainly due to very little advertisements promoting it, but it became well known in my house due to Cartoon Network’s “Cartoon Theatre.” Along with other films like Wakko’s Wish, The Iron Giant, and Balto, this film was shown over and over, week after week, until we were almost sick of it, and then it fell off our radar for years before recently resurfacing for some well-deserved appreciation.

Yes, the Warner Bros. animation is not Disney quality. Yes, several of the Randy Newman songs are rather forgettable, and Sawyer’s number is too slow and depressing. And yes, there are many unmentioned implications with the idea of anthropomorphic animals being treated as second-class citizens. Yet, despite all of these issues, the movie is fun–short, straightforward, entertaining fun. The changing of the color palette during the “Animal Jam” song was an interesting bit of artistry I had never noticed as a kid; the opening and closing songs are memorable and catchy; Scott Bakula’s Danny is endearing, and Sawyer is quite attractive for an animated cat; and the whole movie has such a fast-paced sense of enjoyment that I can ignore most of its faults. Whether to watch with the kids or just for sheer nostalgia, Cats Don’t Dance is an unsung classic.

Best line: (Darla in film) “Yea, as you walk through your valley of despair, fear not. For I am your little Ark Angel, and I will look after each and every little, teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy one of you!”  [audience goes “awww”]  (Cranston the grumpy goat) “Shoot me.”

 
 
Artistry: 3
Characters/Actors: 5
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 4
Originality: 5
Watchability: 5
 
TOTAL: 29 out of 60
 

Tomorrow: #326: Rise of the Guardians

© 2014 S. G. Liput

 

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

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In a European village called what else but Fleu de Coup
In the war, one Sergeant Pepper brought morale to every troop.
He and Lonely Hearts Club Band together (yes, this makes no sense)
Played their music in their wholesome town with magic instruments.
 
He died, but grandson Billy Shears has come to try his hand
With the Bee Gees as the new, more groovy Lonely Hearts Club Band.
In Heartland U.S.A, they play for good and decent crowds
And Billy’s girl, Strawberry Fields, looks on with head in clouds.
The band gets noticed by a wealthy record company
And travel to Los Angeles and get all wild and free.
They play some nifty Beatles tunes and shoot to sudden fame,
But back in Heartland U.S.A., things aren’t at all the same.
A mean old Mr. Mustard has corrupted that sweet town;
He’s working for some F.V.B. to bring all goodness down.
Strawberry comes to seek her man and friends at any cost
And find their stolen instruments before all hope is lost.
They locate them rather quickly and retrieve them one by one,
The cornet from Dr. Maxwell, the tuba from Father Sun.
They play a concert benefit for Heartland, then forthwith,
They fight the Future Villain Band (which sounds like Aerosmith).
Our heroes win, but Strawberry has the rotten luck to perish,
And Billy Shears is lost without his lovely girl to cherish.
He almost kills himself as well, but then a weathervane
Of Sgt. Pepper comes to life and sets things right again.
He brings Strawberry back to life and tries all wrongs to mend.
Then lots of famous people sing around the words “The End.”
________________
 

This really is an awful movie, so why do I like it? It’s corny, campy, horribly acted, terribly plotted, and just plain bad. And yet, it’s quite a piece of work to watch. Basically an excuse to cram as many Beatles songs as possible into a single film, there’s no dialogue, save for George Burns’s narration (which sounds a lot like Peter Falk in The Princess Bride). Peter Frampton plays Billy Shears, and it’s rather obvious why he and the Bee Gees never acted again. Sandy Farina is lovely as Strawberry Fields, while British comedian Frankie Howerd is over the top as Mean Mr. Mustard. Steve Martin’s humor shines, though, as a giddily wicked Dr. Maxwell.

But casting aside, the music is definitely what saves the film. Frampton and the Bee Gees have great harmony, and most of the songs are almost as good as the original versions, particularly “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” “A Day in the Life,” and “Here Comes the Sun.” I would even go so far as to say I like a few of the film’s versions better, like “Strawberry Fields,” “Come Together” (my VC’s favorite), and especially Billy Preston’s rendition of “Get Back.” On the other hand, the film also butchered a couple as well, such as “Because” whined out by Alice Cooper and the way overly long “I Want You.”

Despite its abundant flaws (I’m lookin’ at you, hokey female robots), all the goings on are obviously tongue-in-cheek and, if not hilarious, at least amusing throughout. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was not that “generation’s Gone with the Wind,” as producers had hoped, but it’s the only movie on this list that is so bad that it’s good.

Best line: George Burns says, after Billy is zapped by Father Sun’s electrical system, “Could Billy survive 10,000 volts? It was a lot more than normally came through his guitar. Frankly, he was shocked.” 🙂

 
Artistry: 1
Characters/Actors: 1
Entertainment: 7
Visual Effects: 1
Originality: 3
Watchability: 6
Other (Music): 7
 
TOTAL: 26 out of 60
 

Tomorrow – #358: Panic Room

© 2014 S. G. Liput