(Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt was to anthropomorphize some food, so I took a glimpse into the inner life of leftovers.)

My leftovers were waiting, ever patient in the fridge.
They watched the inner door with bated breath.
They didn’t have a doubt
That the light (which does go out)
Would return to bring the sweet release of death.

They had their shining hour, hot and fresh upon the stove,
And relished in the sounds of tasty bliss.
But now they lingered, cold,
Fighting off the scourge of mold,
Till their maker came to show them the abyss.

At last, the door reopened, and they felt the microwaves
That brought them (almost) back into their prime.
Though their flavor might have waned,
Their appeal had been maintained,
And they heard my satisfaction one last time.
_______________________

MPA rating: PG-13

One more example of Hollywood resurrecting old beloved franchises for the sake of nostalgia (and money), Bill and Ted Face the Music is a fond rehash that also has the unfortunate feel of death warmed over. Decades after Bill Preston (Alex Winter) and Ted Logan (Keanu Reeves) had their Excellent Adventure through history and Bogus Journey into hell, Bill and Ted are washed-up suburban dads who have yet to write the song that will supposedly save the world. However, the pressure is suddenly cranked up when Rufus’s daughter (Kristen Schaal) arrives to notify them that the deadline is that very night to stave off the destruction of time and reality. While Bill and Ted look for short cuts by visiting their future selves, it’s their daughters Billie (Brigette Lundy-Paine) and Thea (Samara Weaving) who actually try writing the song and recruiting various musicians across history to help.

It’s best to go into a Bill and Ted movie with zero expectations and just let the goofiness of its title dimwits lead you along. Reeves and Winter never took themselves seriously in the roles, but here they tow the line between phoning it in and just having fun with their mellow performances. Surprisingly, Weaving and Lundy-Paine manage to capture their former amusingly brainless energy better than the returning stars. Bill and Ted Face the Music is made for undemanding fans of the original films, playing like a greatest hits compilation, from revisiting the pale-faced Death (William Sadler) to a hopeful rock-and-roll finale, and while the jokes can’t help but feel tired, it’s a likable epilogue to the Wyld Stallyns’ time-hopping adventures.

Best line: (Bill, after some “success”) “Ted, that totally worked!” (Ted) “Yeah; maybe we should always not know what we’re doing.”

Rank:  Honorable Mention

© 2022 S.G. Liput
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